Insomnia (Sexual Misconduct Volume I)

by Bethany Bazile

  “If you’re done analyzing me, I have a date.”

  “Oh… well, don’t let me keep you.” He rose and waited until I gathered my things before he walked me out of the office and to my car. Xander was waiting for me at his place, and I had to stop off at home to change first.

  Family Connections

  Xander

  “Xander, I can’t.”

  I pulled Avery’s arm as we walked up the steps. When we’d woken this morning and I told her I wanted her to come to my mother’s place with me, she’d almost bolted. It was Sunday, and the only way to get her to spend an entire day with me was to bring her to dinner at my mother’s house. Five weeks and I was already introducing her to my mother. I was screwed.

  “Trust me, she’ll love you.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I’ve never done anything like this.”

  “Meet someone’s mother?” I raised an eyebrow at her because it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

  “Met someone I’m dating’s mother. I don’t know how to do the whole parent thing.”

  I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her. “We’ll tell her you’re my friend. No pressure.”

  Avery began to relax, but she heard my mother open the door behind her, and she stiffened again. At least it was too late for her to escape. She pulled back and spun around.

  “Mom, this is Avery. This is my mother—”

  “Susan.” Avery finished. That was when I noticed the shock on both of their faces, my mother recovering a lot quicker.

  “Xander, you didn’t tell me you knew Avery.” She stepped out, hugging Avery like a long-lost friend.

  “Neither did you.”

  When she released her, Avery just stared at her and stuttered. “How…? You never told me—you’re…?” She shook her head and seemed to give up on trying to make sense of it all.

  “I’ve missed you, dear. How have you been?”

  “I’m all right.” Avery still looked a bit shocked as my mother pulled her into the house.

  “Come in, come in. Dinner will be ready in an hour.” I watched my mother as she guided Avery into the living room and promised they’d catch up later. She was nervous, and the way she rushed off to the kitchen made me certain she was hiding something.

  I sat across from Avery, and she looked confused. “How do you know my mother?”

  “She’s a family friend… or at least that’s what she told me.”

  “When did she tell you this?”

  “Years ago. After my parents died. There was no one that ever came to see me, but your mom showed up at the foster home one day, and she said she was a friend of my parents. She didn’t like where I was staying so she got me moved to a safer place, and she came to visit me every month.” She looked at me, worrying her lip. “Xander, your mom is the only person who’s ever been there for me, and now… I realize I don’t know anything about her.”

  I got up and joined her on the other couch. I sat back, and she leaned her head against my chest.

  “I mean, how horrible am I that she’s been there for me for over eleven years and I never knew who she was married to or who her kids were?”

  “Or maybe she purposely kept it from you?”

  She sat up and stared at me. “You think she didn’t want anyone to know about me?”

  Shit. I shouldn’t have said that out loud. I didn’t know why Avery was this big secret for my mother, but the look on her face proved to me she didn’t ever expect any of us to know about Avery and whatever her connection to her was.

  “No, I don’t think that. Come here.” I pulled her back against me and held her there. “I’m glad you had her in your corner. She’s pretty amazing when she’s on your side.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “But something’s off here, Xander. She told me her last name was Reynolds and she kept all the details about you and your brother to a minimum.”

  “Reynolds is her maiden name.” My suspicion grew, because now I was sure she was hiding something, but I didn’t want Avery over thinking anything until I knew what it was. “Let me give you a tour. We’ll clear everything up later.” I pulled her up off the couch and led her through the house that seemed so empty now that my father was gone.

  *~*~*

  The awkward tension didn’t improve by dinnertime. We all sat down to eat, and an eerie silence fell over the table. As we finished up, I got tired of waiting for my mother to speak up and broke the silence.

  “So, Mom, how did you know Avery’s parents?”

  She froze with her fork halfway to her mouth and stared at me. “We were friends… when we were younger.” She continued to eat, but her vague response only made me more suspicious.

  “How come no one in the family’s ever met her?”

  She dropped her fork and started to rise. “Well, you know you boys are always busy. You haven’t been home in years.” She gathered a few dishes and scurried off into the kitchen. I looked at Avery, and she gave me a puzzled look that expressed exactly how I felt.

  “I’ll be right back.” I pushed back my chair, dropped my napkin on the table, and followed my mother into the kitchen. She busied herself with loading the dishwasher, and then she pulled a pie out of the oven, all along pretending she didn’t see me watching her.

  “What was that, Mom?”

  “What are you talking about, dear?” I caught her arm as she tried to leave the room and spun her to face me.

  “You’ve been quiet and nervous ever since Avery arrived here. I know you, Mom. Something’s going on.”

  She sighed and dropped her head. When she looked back up, her demeanor was less shuttered, but the worried look remained. “Just be careful, Xander. She’s been through so much… Don’t—don’t hurt her.”

  I dropped my hand from her arm and stepped back. “Do you actually think I’d hurt her?”

  “No. No.” She stepped forward, trying to reach out to me, but I deflected her touch. “I know you’d never purposely hurt her… I just…” She sighed again.

  “Wow. Maybe we should leave.” She was the only person who stood by me, and I didn’t like the feeling I was getting from this conversation.

  “No, at least stay for dessert.”

  “I don’t know, Ma.”

  “Come on.” She picked up the pie and walked out. I followed, but I barely looked at dessert as Mom and Avery talked about work and her roommate Ellie. My mom obviously knew everything about Avery’s life.

  Avery was a few bites away from finishing her dessert. I was planning a quick escape in my head when the worst thing happened… Ian walked in.

  “No one invited me to dinner.” A nervous chill spread across my skin. Shit was about to go from bad to straight destruction. Ian had been making himself scare around the house since I came to town. Mom said he was crashing with some women who worked at the club where he was a bouncer. Ian showing up was just the kind of karma I should’ve expected.

  He cut a piece of pie and slowly took a seat at the head of the table, right next to Avery. He looked at her, narrowed his eyes, and said, “Who are you?”

  “This is Avery, sweetie. She’s a doctor. Has a practice in town.” My mom responded quicker than I did, and I was sure she did it because she knew Ian was a loose cannon.

  He ate a forkful of his pie but continued to stare at Avery.

  “We should—” I began, but Ian cut me off.

  “What kind of doctor are you?”

  “Ian,” my mother warned.

  “What? I can’t ask her any questions?” His arms flailing out, palms up.

  “I’m warning—”

  Avery put her hand on my thigh and gave me a reassuring look.

  “It fine,” she said to me before turning to Ian. “I’m a psychiatrist.”

  He lifted his eyebrows, paused, then threw back his head and laughed. “If you think you can save my brother…” He nodded his head toward me. “It’s not possible. He’s been lost for years.”
/>   “Shut the fuck up, Ian!” I jumped out of my seat and almost went at him from across the table. “You’re not blameless so back the fuck off!” I jabbed a finger his way before grabbing Avery’s arm and pulling her up.

  “We’re leaving.” I dragged Avery behind me without looking at her expression. I knew she’d be curious about what was going on, and I had to figure out what I’d be willing to tell her.

  “Goodnight, Susan. Thanks for dinner,” she shouted before we made it out the door. I couldn’t get us out of there fast enough.

  The silence stifled the air in the car, filled it with dread. After ten minutes, Avery spoke. “Xander—”

  “Don’t!” I anticipated her asking questions, so I shut her down quickly. She clenched her hands, turning to gaze out her window.

  I ran a hand through my hair, yanking on the strands. I didn’t mean to shout at her. I just didn’t know what to tell her. I reached out, taking her tightened fist into my hand and forcing her to loosen it. She looked at me, an angry fire in her eyes. She’d been trying to get me to open up since we first met, and at this point, I didn’t want her to give up on me.

  “I’m sorry. But just don’t, okay?”

  She nodded, turning her gaze back to the road.

  *~*~*

  When we got back to my place, Avery followed me into my bedroom and looked on nervously as I started stripping off my clothes.

  “Maybe I should go.”

  “No.” I wasn’t going to let her leave and distance herself from me. I’d make her understand there were things I couldn’t tell her.

  “Can we talk about it?”

  “No.” I pulled down my boxer briefs. She looked away.

  “If you can’t open up to me, then I can’t stay.” She tried to walk to the door, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her. Her back pressed against my naked chest; my cock pressed to her ass.

  “I don’t want to talk.” I kissed her neck. She shivered. “I don’t even want to think. I just want to fuck.” I kissed her shoulder as I pulled down the zipper of her dress.

  “Can you help me forget, Avery? ‘Cause I really need that right now.”

  “This won’t solve anything.” Her tone was stony, but she melted into my hold.

  “I know.” I wasn’t looking to solve anything tonight. I was trying to lose myself. Her dress slid off her shoulders and tumbled to the floor. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. She scooted back and watched as I rolled a condom over my cock. I wanted to bareback her so bad, but this wasn’t the time. She held a hand against my chest when I crawled over her, holding me off so she could get the last word.

  “You’re going to have to let me in sooner or later.”

  “Later.” I pushed away her hand, pulled down her bra, and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. She arched into me, moaning and writhing. This I could handle. I’d lick, suck, and fuck her all day if possible. But when I thought about talking to her about my past, all I saw was her walking out the door, and that wasn’t an option. I tore her panties off then slid a finger across her wet slit and watched her come apart, grinding into my hand as she whimpered softly. I swallowed up her soft pants, plunging my tongue into her mouth.

  My cock was hard, and I needed to own her. It was wrong to pull her into my shit, but I was a selfish bastard, and I needed her. I wanted to embed myself so deep in her she’d never be able to get rid of the imprint I left there. I rubbed my cock against her wet cunt, made her beg me for it.

  “Please…”

  She made the sweetest sound as I pushed into her. I slung her legs over my arms, smothered her with my body so she’d feel me everywhere. Her nails dug into the back of my neck, seeking purchase as I fucked her into the mattress.

  I had this fierce ache to keep her clawing in me. Somewhere along the line she’d become mine. Her pussy was hot, wet, and gripping me, but I focused on her. Her facial expressions, the sounds she made, the desperate way she pushed into my thrust. I sucked on her neck, needing to leave a lasting memory on her skin. She bucked and hollered. “Xander! Oh fuck… Yesss!”

  Her pussy clamped down on my cock. Her orgasm rippled through me, pulling mine from me. It jarred me as I spilled into her. It was a rough, dirty claiming, but it was what I needed to feel like I was on solid ground. The oddest part was I went in trying to claim her, and I was pretty sure she’d just claimed me. I fell over her—shuddering—my hips jerking involuntarily as her clenching pussy wrung out the last drops of my orgasm.

  It seemed like hours passed before I pulled out, tied up the condom, and tossed it into the trash. When I returned, I tucked her beneath me and within minutes fell asleep.

  Somewhere along the line, I felt her wiggling out from under my hold. I reached out and caught her wrist as she stood. She looked down at me and tried to pull free. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

  “Don’t you fucking leave me,” I mumbled, still half asleep. She nodded and I reluctantly released her, dozing off.

  House of Cards

  Avery

  It was 2:08 in the morning when I got home. I pulled open the front door, pushed it shut behind me, and kicked off my shoes. I sank onto the chair in the entryway and buried my face into my hand.

  I was reeling—completely off course and out of control. I couldn’t come to grips with my Susan being Xander’s mom. All these years and I never pried into her life, never asked details about her kids and a husband. She was always so vague—never giving away any names. It was always my son or my husband. I was so grateful for all she’d done for me I never pushed for more.

  The feeling that something was being kept from me increased when Ian showed up. I didn’t need to be told he was Xander’s brother, because the resemblance was uncanny. The only thing that set the two apart was that Xander was stockier, and Ian had more of a dirty-blond thing going on with his hair. Something awful was brewing in that family, and I was afraid to find out the truth.

  I’d let Xander in, and I couldn’t handle being betrayed by people I trusted. Even Susan had been different that afternoon, nervous and scared—almost like Xander and me being together was her worst nightmare. She went through a lot of trouble making sure I didn’t know who her husband and children were. I just couldn’t figure out why.

  I heard a car pull into the driveway and looked up in time to see headlights turn off. I hoped it was Ellie. She’d been coming home more often—albeit really late—but at least she came home now. I looked up with the knock on the door and stared straight at Xander through the see-through glass portion. He stood there, hands in the pockets of his jeans, hair all bedraggled, and a deep frown marring his face.

  I watched him, not sure if I should let him in, because the further I let him into my life, the deeper he could hurt me. He nodded his head toward the door, signaling me to let him in, but I couldn’t move. It was in my nature to help people, to get them to open up to me. Xander was a sealed vault, and if he couldn’t let me in, then why should I do the same for him?

  He removed a hand from his pocket and ran it through his hair, turning his back to the door. He stood there—frozen—much like I was. This thing between us was so unexpected that it had shaken us both. One thing I knew for sure was if I opened that door, my heart wouldn’t be far behind. It was the turning point. The point where I’d be able to walk away without being too hurt, or the point where I opened the door to everything that was Xander—including accepting he had secrets. Secrets that haunted him at night and made his family anxious.

  He walked down the short flight of steps and went to stand next to his car. He didn’t get in. He just leaned against the car, staring at my front door, his head hung low and his hands stuffed in his pockets.

  My brain told me to turn away, but everything else in me screamed at me to open the door, and it wasn’t long before I listened. I unlatched the door and stepped back in, waiting for him. He stared for a few moments. It seemed he was fighting the same battle with walking away. In the end he gave in, mu
ch like I did, and walked through the door. He looked totally unsure and defeated. When he stopped a few inches from me and looked me in the eyes, his green irises were more like a stormy gray in the dim lighting. His hands were still buried in his pockets and he looked almost afraid to try to touch me.

  “Why’d you leave?” His voice was a raspy whisper. I knew I told him I wouldn’t, but I’d needed space.

  “You’ll never let me in.”

  “I will. You just have to give me time.” He finally took his hand out of his pocket and ran it down his face. “Let me do this when I’m ready.”

  “Will it hurt me?”

  “I just want you to see the good in me before I tell you the ugly.”

  I reached out and touched his face, the growth on his chin scratching against my palm. “I already see the good. Whatever ugly thing that’s in your past doesn’t negate what you are now.”

  He snorted. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  He reached out and hooked an arm around my waist, pulling me in and covering my lips with his. The kiss was soft and searching at first. Gentle licks and soft nips at my lips. But as usual, the chemistry between us ignited as soon as we touched.

  Our sweet, tender kiss turned animal-like. The kind of kiss that was so untamed neither of us had any control. His tongue moved hungrily against mine, seeking the kind of pleasure that left us sated yet utterly ravaged.

  My back hit the wall. His fingers dug into my thighs as he lifted my legs over his hips. He ground his erection against my pussy, and I knew I’d combust with a few clever thrusts of his hips. He moved his lips to my neck, biting and sucking. He was always consumed with marking me. So much so he didn’t hear the door open and made no move to stop.

  I pushed against his shoulder as Ellie stood there stock still with pure shock on her face.

  “Xander.”

  “Don’t make me stop, baby.”

  “Xander.” He pulled back and looked at me, eyes glazed over with lust.

  “What?”

  “Ellie’s home.” Having never seen me this passionate about any man, the look of surprise on her face was entirely expected.