Empty Streets

by Jessica Cotter

  He watched as she processed all of this from his one intentional sentence. She looked up at him, scrunched her nose and punched him in the arm.

  "Ow, what was that for?" He laughed as he rubbed his arm.

  "Just 'cause." She smiled and walked towards the crew they were supposed to hang out with. Bodhi put his arm lightly around her shoulders as he bent down to whisper in her ear. She stopped walking, placing a hand on his chest in response to his leaning down towards her. Touching him even through the Sims made her heart beat harder.

  "And, in case you are wondering, you are here with me." His breath tickled her ear.

  "Thanks for clarifying," she whispered.

  She turned just in time to see Zander eyeing them, reading their body language with irritation. The intensity of his stare and clear dislike for Bodhi made her uncomfortable, yet satisfied. Zander seemed like the type of person it might be fun to irritate.

  "Hi," Eri said as she sat down on a bench. Bodhi sat on a different bench, striking up a conversation with one of the other boys. Eri could hear them talking about math and gathered they were in class together. One of the girls sitting with Zander got up to sit by Eri.

  "Hey, Eri!"

  It took Eri a moment to place the voice. "Taya. Nice to see you. Thanks for letting us hang out with you tonight, it's been awhile since I did anything fun." Eri smiled tentatively at Taya, hoping she didn't sound like a total loser.

  "I can't believe you recognized me just from my voice! Impressive." Taya smiled. "This year has been so hard, getting ready for the AE. I think we are all using less IP time."

  Eri glanced over and watched Zander take in the scene around him, focusing on Eri. She locked eyes with him and noticed a flicker of something in his face: desire, frustration, anger? She wasn't sure, and his look changed to one of cool apathy before she could pin it down.

  Several frames into the game, Bodhi wandered over and sat next to Eri.

  "So? Okay?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

  "Yeah, for the most part." She imperceptibly nodded her head in Zander's direction. Bodhi nodded.

  "Yup. Maybe after this game, you and I could head over to ice skate."

  Taya returned, hearing Bodhi's invite. She wrinkled her nose. "No way. You two are crazy. I hate being cold. I mean, what is the point of being in a simulator if you are going to feel cold?"

  Bodhi shrugged. "Some people like the cold."

  "Yeah, well, they're wrong." She shook her head.

  As soon as the last frame was bowled, Bodhi grabbed Eri's hand. "We are going to skate. See ya'll for pizza in a bit?" Bodhi asked as he tugged Eri towards him.

  "Sure!" Taya said. Zander was deep in conversation with the other female in the group and didn't look up. Eri thought she knew the girl, maybe from her math class.

  Bodhi and Eri walked in silence until they were out of earshot.

  "Did you notice that?" Bodhi asked.

  "What? You mean the creepiness that's Zander?"

  "Yeah. Do you think we should try to save that girl?" Bodhi looked torn. He glanced over his shoulder at Zander.

  "I'm sure she's okay. She seems to be enjoying his attention enough. Besides, remember, this is a simulation. She can leave at any time." Eri rolled her eyes at Bodhi. He was such a worrywart.

  "Just because it's a simulation doesn't mean he can't hurt her or scare her."

  Eri glanced back, and a cold stone sank into the pit of her stomach. Something about Zander wasn't right. She was thankful Bodhi had shown up today when he had.

  They reached the ice rink and stood near the lockers, where they could store their shoes as they changed into skates. She wasn't sure why she couldn't just tell the simulation to change her footwear. Maybe the software developers thought the process of putting on the skates was important enough to make them simulate it.

  "P. S., I have never skated before," Eri said as she looked around. Some people were skating gracefully, others stumbling around.

  "Remember, it is only a simulation, you can't get hurt." Bodhi winked at her. She made a face in response.

  They ventured out onto the ice. Eri was uncertain and wobbly. Bodhi looked completely comfortable.

  "Why are you good at this? It doesn't make sense." Eri looked at Bodhi in irritation.

  He laughed. "Since it isn't real, you just have to think about skating smoothly and what you want it to look like and it will happen. It isn't like you have to really have skill." He twirled in a circle to make a point.

  Eri tried not to overthink it, focusing on the motion of gliding and turning. She felt better instantly. But then she wondered what her legs were actually doing in the Sims machine and if it would really hurt if she fell. And then she fell, banging her knee against the ice.

  She sat on the ice for a second, staring at her knee. The pain was odd, like falling on a pile of blankets on the ice. But at the same time, it didn't subside with the throbbing numbness that comes with a real injury. Bodhi knelt down next to her.

  "Quit overthinking it. You are killing me. Can't you just act like all the other kids?" His tone indicated he was teasing her, but his eyes held a warning. Don't stand out. She held a hand out for him to help her up.

  "That hurt. I wanted to make sure I didn't sprain it." She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. He helped her over to the railing, near the edge of the skating rink. She put her back to the railing to look out at the skaters. Bodhi appeared in front of her and held the rail on each side of her body, caging her in. She leaned back against the railing, forgetting about skating for the moment.

  He leaned down and kissed her lightly. She looked up at him with doubt. To the Sims world, this was their first kiss. And it definitely felt different than a kiss in the real world. Bodhi bent down to kiss her again, this time pressing his lips to hers more firmly. She kissed back, but it still felt like a thick layer of cloth was between them. He stopped, smiled a half smile at her and said, "Well, now, that's frustrating." She laughed.

  Behind the railing was a small, carpeted area with round tables. Students of different ages sat at the tables, eating popcorn and drinking hot cocoa. Eri didn't like eating simulated food. It was cheating in a peculiar way. Why pretend to drink hot cocoa? It cheapened the whole experience.

  Voices at a table near Eri and Bodhi grew louder, and Bodhi turned his head slightly to listen. As they sipped hot cocoa, a group of younger kids talked excitedly.

  "And my mom said they weren't sure what killed him. But they are surveying the house all the time to make sure nothing weird is going on." A young man with dark hair and dark eyes, who loved that everyone at the table was looking at him, spoke with enthusiasm.

  "How would your mom know?" a girl near him retorted.

  "She works for the Department of C and S. She told me they are going to start putting motion detectors in the streets since the satellite surveillance they have isn't enough to determine if kids are going outside. The motion detectors will alert them if anyone goes outside." The boy with dark hair looked proud of himself as he spoke.

  "Richie, you are so full of it. What does E's death have to do with outside? Everyone knows he was doing serious Sims drugs and those can mess with your brain," a smaller, blonde-haired boy said tentatively.

  "Bear, you don't know shit. My mom said they think he was sneaking outside to get real drugs. They have evidence that someone has been outside near his house. They think there are people on the outside selling drugs to kids, but they can't catch them without the motion detectors." Richie glowered at Bear.

  Eri took a deep breath. They were talking about her brother.

  Bodhi's body was tense as he eavesdropped. Eri had put her hands on his, which gripped the railing tightly.

  "Hey, what are you doing?" she asked pointedly, knowing his intense interest in the conversation they had just overheard could look suspicious, especially since they were talking about Ezra.

  "Uh…sorry, daydreaming, I guess. You have that effect on me." He was st
ill distracted, trying to listen to the rest of the conversation, but they had moved on to a different topic.

  Eri stared Bodhi hard in the eyes. If what they had just heard was correct, it meant she was not going to be able to get outside again. Maybe ever. She also assumed that the report of Ezra's death was constructed in such a way as to create fear rather than understanding, which aligned with Bodhi's theories from last night. Panic rose in her chest.

  Bodhi placed his hands on her cheeks. She could see the words inside his brain that desperately wanted to get out. He traced a circle on her cheek and then dotted it in the middle. She looked at him confused and then he hugged her, tapping on her back softly with his index finger: one, two, three, four, five times. Five days. She nodded at Bodhi, hoping she understood his communication clearly.

  Eri's eyes pricked with tears. She blinked quickly to dry them. "I miss him," she whispered. She hoped Bodhi knew that she meant she would miss him, too, even though she was referring to Ezra. Five days was a long time.

  Bodhi nodded and continued to hug her. Across the room, he could see Zander and the group walking towards the pizza place. He made eye contact with Zander, whose glare sizzled with anger.

  "I'm not sure if Zander is more mad because he liked you and I'm with you or because he wanted you and can't have you," Bodhi murmured.

  "How are those different?" Eri sighed. Who cares about Zander?

  "If it is the latter, it's about power and control, which means he isn't done trying to get to you." Bodhi held Eri away from his body and looked her in the eyes. "Make sure you aren't ever alone with him."

  Normally this type of directive would make Eri feel rebellious, but instead, she nodded. "I think I need to go home; I'm tired." Eri glanced in the direction of the pizza parlor. She was done socializing.

  Bodhi nodded. "See you in class tomorrow?" He kissed her again, clearly frustrated by the digital barrier between them.

  Eri shrugged her shoulders sadly. "I guess."

  Bodhi logged off, disappearing before her eyes. Across the ice, Eri saw Zander walking away from her, Taya close to his side. Something seemed off, maybe the tension in Taya's shoulders or the firmness of Zander's grip on her arm. They disappeared from view.

  She logged off and sat in her machine, thinking through the night. Usually she felt safe inside her Sims machine and her insulated house. Now she felt both trapped and vulnerable at the same time, realizing with each day how much she didn't know.

  Chapter 13

  Loneliness

  Eri had underestimated how thorough and intense her attachment to Bodhi had become. While lying in bed after their Sims date, she replayed over and over their conversations. Growing attached to him was an unnoticed process-eye contact, a smile, a hand on her shoulder or back-small gestures. She had not noticed the change and, yet, here she was, comfortable with him in a way she had never known with anyone.

  She sighed, bringing herself back to the digital world of her math class. People around her shifted in their seats, indicating they had been given time to work on practice problems. She scooted her desk towards Taya, who sat stiffly in the seat next to her.

  "Hey," Eri mumbled. She cleared her throat. "Did you have fun last night?"

  Taya turned and stared at Eri, her eyes hard. Her hair was purple today, long and straight, and her eyes a bright, contrasting turquoise. "How did you know it was me?"

  Eri shrugged. "You always sit there."

  Taya didn't respond.

  "Are you okay?" Taya was normally bubbly and chatty. Eri depended on this to save her from having to make small talk. It was what she liked best about Taya.

  Taya shook her head. "Did you know," she said and then stopped, shaking her head as her eyes filled with tears.

  "What?" Eri asked.

  "Did you know if someone pins your hands behind your back in the Sims world, your brain thinks your hands are pinned and you can't log off? Did you know that the wires that make it so you can feel the sun also mean you can feel simulated pain?"

  "Taya, what the hell happened last night?" Eri's heart raced.

  Taya looked at her. "You know. Everyone knows. It's what he does." Taya turned away from Eri, closed her laptop and disappeared.

  Eri blinked at Taya's vacant seat. What had Zander done? Class ended and Eri slowly rose and walked to the door. The door opened for her. She didn't look up.

  "Eri, I missed you at pizza last night," a smooth voice said. She looked at him, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the sunlight.

  Zander was taller and thinner, and his hair was a darker blonde, almost brown. She squinted at him.

  "You seemed perfectly occupied." She glared at him, trying hard not to let her anger show. He seemed just the type to enjoy that.

  Zander smirked. "I kept busy, but I really wanted to see you. You and Bodhi a thing then?" Zander tried to act like he didn't care, but she could tell he was interested.

  "I like him." Eri's words were clipped and forced. She kept her hands in fists, pinned under her arms. She wanted to ask him what he had done, why Taya was so upset, but felt strangely vulnerable under his scrutiny.

  Zander stared at her. She refused to squirm.

  "I just wondered if you were, you know, dating exclusively." He stuck his chin out as he spoke.

  Ah, thought Eri. There it is. "We haven't really talked about it. Why?"

  He smiled a cold, unhappy smile, one that was familiar on his face. "I was going to ask you out, of course. Word on the street is you don't date, and I thought maybe I could persuade you otherwise."

  "I don't date? That's news to me," Eri responded. She didn't really date, but it wasn't philosophical. She just didn't like anyone's company that much.

  "Vicious rumor, must be. I understand rumors, trust me, since my parents are both ranking officials with the government. You know politics." Zander paused to chuckle while Eri stared at him with confusion. He continued, "They help implement school reform and decide how much money schools should get. They are, ya know, pretty important." Zander wiggled his eyebrows as he said this, believing this would impress her.

  Eri decided to feign interest. It was good to know your enemy. "Oh, yeah? So do you live in the townhouses that most of us do or on the other side of town?"

  Zander looked surprised at Eri's blatant reference to the outside world. She tried not to waver as she stared hard at him. "Um, I live in a house across town. You live in the townhouses?"

  "Yes. Does that change things? You don't date girls in townhouses?"

  "No, it's just, I never really think about that stuff. We are all kind of the same in the Sims world, you know?" He winked at her, good naturedly, but she could tell he was hiding something. She did not wink back.

  "What do you mean?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

  Zander laughed. "Well, you know, some of us have better houses and more water, some of us have access to cars and cleaner air, some of us will go on to college or careers where we make more money, so we probably won't see other people very much, the people that don't. But in school, we all see each other. We can all bring each other…joy." He leaned down towards her, a sneer smearing across his face.

  Anger surged through her body. She was certain her ears were red. Before she could speak, Zander reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She stood rooted in place, frozen with fear. "Look, Eri, I know you must wish you had those things. Be careful who you date on the Sims, because that could impact who you end up with in the next year or two, right? I mean, nothing wrong with marrying up, if someone puts in a request for you." He squeezed her shoulder one time.

  Eri looked up calmly at Zander. "Thank you, you have given me a lot to think about and hope for."

  She logged off immediately, still feeling the pressure of his hand on her shoulder and seeing that look in his eye, a look of domination and privilege mixed with pity, as the image faded from her view. She threw off her goggles and pulled off the rest of her gear. She kicked open the door of the Sims
and stomped up the stairs to a quiet house. Who was Zander? What if he had hurt people? What could she do about it? Was there even a way to know for sure what had happened?

  Did he really live in a world where he could go outside whenever he wanted? Cars and water and food at his disposal? She pushed her curiosity away. It didn't matter.

  "Marry up," she muttered to herself. It hadn't occurred to her before that she was a prisoner in more ways than one.

  * * * *

  After breakfast, Eri logged on to the Sims. She knew seeing Bodhi in the Sims wasn't the same, but it was better than the boredom and isolation she currently faced.

  She walked into history class. Bodhi sat relaxed in his chair, looking achingly familiar, almost identical to his real self. She sat in the desk next to him, pretending not to see him. He looked at her and tapped her shoulder.

  "Excuse me, miss, do you have a pencil?" he asked.

  Eri smiled. "A bit archaic, don't you think?"

  He smiled back. "Did I miss anything exciting yesterday?"

  Eri rolled her eyes. "Yes, tons of excitement. None that I want to tell you about."

  He nodded. "I have been a little preoccupied with other projects, so I had to miss yesterday. Hoping that's the only day I have to miss, though." He winked a small wink at her and she resisted the urge to reach out and touch him, knowing it wouldn't really feel like touching him anyways. She sighed.

  "My birthday is next week," Eri announced. She saw Bodhi's complexion pale.

  "Your…birthday?" he asked.

  "Yeah, you know, the day of the year that I was born on?" She looked at him suspiciously as he blanched.

  "I didn't know. Why didn't I know? I thought you were seventeen already?" He looked panicked.

  "Oh, relax, geez, birthdays aren't that big of a deal. I was just making small talk. October thirtieth. Just an FYI." She smiled. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  Class started. Eri was immensely more comfortable with Bodhi here. If he was here, he was okay, and at least she could kind of be with him.