Pandora

by Storm Chase

  There were sofas and piles of floor cushions, all occupied by the guns she’d seen earlier. For every man, there were two or three girls. Some were dancing by themselves in a group by the window to the low music that throbbed through the room; the rest were sitting with the guns, smoking and laughing. Everyone was utterly stoned but one of the dancers peeled off and disappeared into the rooms beyond.

  “She’s gone to get Nicole. She’s the boss,” Xav said. He pulled her onto a small empty sofa. “Want a joint, Panda? There’s no booze here as I don’t want anyone getting drunk and shooting someone in a fight but there’s plenty of weed.”

  Pandora didn’t know whether to say yes or no. She was watching in amazement as two girls writhed all over one of the guns. Between the three of them, they wore a bra, a headscarf, a watch and two socks. It was like being on a porno film set.

  But, Pandora thought quickly, a good porno film where people are just having a good time. Nobody was yelling, hitting or looking exhausted to the point of collapse. Everyone was totally mellow.

  A woman dressed in a colourful blue and yellow wrap came striding up. “Dragon,” she greeted Xavier cheerfully. “Didn’t expect you to join the party.”

  “Hey Nicole, we just dropped by for a few minutes. Pandora wanted to make sure everything was all right,” Xavier said mildly.

  Pandora noted that his voice was friendly, not cold like when he talked to the guns, but he didn’t smile at Nicole or hug her. Xavier’s warmth seemed to be purely for her. It was an interesting thought.

  Nicole sat down and snapped her fingers. Instantly one of the dancing girls rushed over with a small box. She sat cross-legged on the floor and began to roll the most enormous joint Pandora had ever seen.

  Nicole looked Pandora over. “We’re fine,” she said dryly. “You don’t look so good though. I hear you were on the train with Mac when it was ambushed. Scared you, huh?”

  Pandora thought Nicole was looking rather smug at the thought of her being afraid. She shrugged and tried to look cool. “A bit.” She wondered if Mac had told everyone that she’d been so afraid that she’d thrown up.

  “So you’ve come down from the penthouse to see how the other half live,” Nicole said sarcastically.

  “No,” Pandora stuttered. “It’s not like that.”

  Xavier’s hand on her shoulder tightened a little in warning. Pandora dropped any attempt at explanation.

  The girl handed Xavier the joint and a lighter. He lit it, took a drag and passed it to Pandora. She took it and hesitated. She didn’t feel safe in that room. Getting stoned didn’t seem a good idea. Then she looked at Xavier. He wouldn’t let anything happen. She took a drag and almost immediately began coughing. It was nothing like the lightly perfumed grass she’d tried before. This was harsh, oily and rather revolting.

  Nicole burst out laughing. “First time?” she asked mockingly.

  “No,” Pandora gasped. “I’m not an expert but what the hell is that?”

  Nicole plucked the joint from her hand and took a deep drag. “Seems fine to me,” she intoned.

  Pandora decided she didn’t like Nicole at all.

  The girl handed Xavier a second joint. This time Pandora took a tiny puff and survived. She was glad that Nicole kept hold of the large one while she and Xavier shared their own.

  The sickly sweet smoke in the room made everything seem a little fetid. Pandora wanted to give the whole place a good scrub - including Nicole. The woman smelled of sweat, garlic and onions.

  They sat in silence, watching the girls dance and listening to the low beat of the music.

  Pandora pretended to smoke when Xavier handed her the joint but she took care not to inhale. Although this one was much milder than the volcano Nicole was sucking down, the taste was still foul. She noticed that Xavier didn’t seem to be inhaling either. He seemed to be deep in thought though. She could tell by the slightly blank look in his eyes that his brain was working in overdrive.

  The second their joint was finished, Xavier stood up. “Come on, Panda, time to go.” He nodded at Nicole. “Send word if there’s a problem.”

  She shrugged. “Sure.”

  As they walked out, Pandora saw Nicole ambling back to the rooms beyond.

  “Satisfied?” Xavier asked her as the lift shot upstairs.

  “Yeah but I didn’t like her,” Pandora said honestly.

  “She’s a bitch,” Xavier shrugged, “but she keeps her people together.”

  As they walked into their own space, Pandora felt remorseful. Who was she to criticise Nicole? She was getting everything wrong again. She’d accused Xav of condoning rape and now she was badmouthing a woman who’d seen her entire village destroyed for being bitter.

  “I’m sorry,” Pandora said to Xavier. “You were quite right. I don’t like it but if you kick them out, they’ll starve and that isn’t right either. I think I’m going to have to learn that sometimes there are no rights or wrongs; just choices.”

  “Never mind, Panda. Live and learn, huh?”

  He really was kind. Impulsively, she took his hand. “Xav, everything is new to me. Will you help me so I don’t fuck up?”

  “Of course, Panda!” He looked surprised that she’d asked the question.

  Their dinner was sitting in the kitchen. Opening up the Tupperware, Pandora found a piping hot beef stew with red peppers and dumplings and an orange soup that looked like pumpkin but smelled of peanuts.

  Pandora watched Xavier take a bite before tucking into her share. A little bit of herself wondered if she were paranoid or sensible. The new tough Pandora came down unequivocally on the side of sensible. It also prompted an important question. “What do you expect from me?” she asked Xavier.

  He shrugged. “Not to throw coffee over me,” he joked.

  “You know what I mean.”

  Xavier continued eating his stew but Pandora could tell by the way he was staring into space that he was thinking again. He had already told her that he’d thought a lot about her situation. He probably had been considering options the entire time he’d been stalking her. His silence suggested that he thought she wasn’t going to like his answer.

  Finally he pushed away the plate. “I don’t smoke usually,” he said casually. “It messes up my thinking and I don’t like that.”

  “You hardly inhaled,” Pandora pointed out.

  “You saw that?” Xavier looked a little suprised. “You do read people well, Panda.”

  “And now you’re going to tell me something I don’t want to hear.”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.” He was tapping the table nervously with his fingers.

  Pandora got a beer out of the fridge and put it in front of him. She poured herself a glass of wine, then hesitated. The bottle had been open.

  With a sigh Xavier picked up her glass and took a sip. “It’s safe,” he said calmly.

  “I’m not nuts,” Pandora defended herself. “I’m going on experience.”

  Xavier wasn’t laughing. “When I started watching you, it was just business,” he said carefully. “But I fell in love with you. I’ve never had feelings for anyone before. Not ever. When my people decided you had to go, I thought that rescuing you would be a good thing but now I’m not so sure.”

  Pandora stopped breathing. Her stomach flip-flopped. Did he mean he didn’t want her anymore?

  Xavier took a sip of his beer. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy and I planned it pretty carefully,” he continued. “Even so, you saw two people die. I’d also forgotten what it’s like to lose your family, your home and everything familiar all in one go. I mean, I remember how difficult it was for me, but I didn’t quite realise how scary it must be for you.”

  “I know you didn’t,” Pandora said. “But you can’t blame yourself, Xav. I know you don’t feel fear the way I do.”

  “That’s not the point,” Xavier pointed out remorselessly, “One of the first things you said to me was that I hadn’t rescued you because I was only keeping you sa
fe from my people. That was spot on. I keep saying my people want you out of the way but I work with them so I’m also to blame.”

  His fingers were still tapping a nervous tattoo. Seeing it made Pandora uneasy too.

  “I had this stupid idea that you’d be happy with me,” Xavier continued. “But the truth is that I can’t function around ordinary people. Not just because I’m not good at feelings but because I only deal with thieves and killers. You don’t fit into that.”

  He doesn’t want me, Pandora panicked. What’s going to happen to me now? She opened her mouth but no sound came out.

  “The problem is that I’m responsible for you,” Xavier said.

  “I’m your puppy so you have to walk and feed me.” Pandora instantly wished she’d kept her mouth shut. She should be talking nice seeing he was the only one standing between her and the monsters he called his people. “I didn’t mean that,” she said hastily.

  “You did,” Xavier said calmly. “And you’re afraid now because you know you’ve only got one friend here, and that’s me.”

  Pandora couldn’t deny it. She nodded helplessly.

  “When I asked you if you were afraid of me, you said you weren’t. I realise now that that was the wrong question,” Xavier said quietly. “You’re not afraid of me but you’ve been sleeping with me because you’re too afraid not to. And I didn’t even notice.”

  Although he spoke calmly as always, Pandora realised he was upset perhaps even hurt. “I do like you,” she protested. “And I didn’t sleep with you because I was afraid.” She hesitated and backtracked a bit. “Well, after that first time I thought I’d better butter you up but when I did get into bed with you, I changed my mind again. You haven’t forced me, Xav, honest. I like going to bed with you.”

  She could see he didn’t believe her. “It’s true,” she ploughed on. “It’s not just because you’re good in bed but because you make me feel beautiful. I love the way you touch me, the way you talk to me.”

  “Really?” He was looking relieved.

  “Really. You’re fantastic in bed.”

  “Oh yeah?” He was grinning.

  “Yes,” Pandora laughed. “You make me feel good.”

  Xavier stood up and put his arms around her. “Thank God for that,” he said. “I thought I got it all wrong. I thought you were suffering and I was too dense to see it. I was going to say I’d never touch you again. I’m so glad. I love you so much that seeing you all the time and not touching you would crucify me.”

  Pandora hugged him back fiercely. “I insist that you keep touching me,” she said shakily. “Xav, if things were different, if we were in London and we’d met somewhere, like in a club, I’d want to date you. Knowing me, I’d probably fall into bed with you on the first date too because I’m such a slut.”

  “Don’t run yourself down, Panda!”

  “All right. But what I want to say is that I don’t like what you do and I wish you’d work for someone else, someone more decent.” Seeing him begin to frown and shake his head, she backed off. She’d have plenty of time to talk him round later. “Look, your job is one thing but us is another. This whole set-up is weird - but you and me isn’t, if you know what I mean.”

  “Thank God for that.” He started steering her towards the bedroom. “To answer your question, I expect you to be happy. Exactly what you can do and what you can’t we’ll talk about when we get home. For now I want you to relax and get settled. And to help you, I’m going to take you to bed. I want to practice my technique.”

  “Oh good,” Pandora said. “And seeing you don’t know how I feel, I’ll keep up a running commentary.”

  “If talking dirty is one of the new skills you want to pick up, don’t let me stop you!”

  Chapter Ten

  Pandora quickly fell into a routine. She would wake up at noon, read until sundown, and have dinner with Xavier. Afterwards they would talk for hours. At first Pandora tried to be circumspect about how she felt about the Committee and Xavier’s work but Xavier soon figured out what she was up to.

  “You’re going to lecture me about morality, aren’t you?” he said to her one night.

  “I thought you didn’t read emotions,” Pandora replied.

  “I know I’m bad at it so I study people,” Xavier said calmly. “When you’re about to criticise, you hold your breath a little and you have a little frown line,” he touched her forehead, “just above your eyes.”

  He really could be very exasperating.

  “Never mind, Panda,” Xavier encouraged her. “I like to hear your opinion. We don’t have to agree to be friends. Just say what you think!”

  After that, Pandora just said what she thought but as Xavier wasn’t even remotely swayed, she soon found herself talking more about books and ideas than their own situation. Pandora loved talking to Xavier but she loved their nights most of all.

  Going to bed with Xavier was a revelation. Pandora had always enjoyed herself, even with Richard who was rather straight laced, but Xavier was so unashamedly delighted to be with her, that she felt enveloped by his love. He combined tenderness and laughter with passion; a heady mix that went straight to Pandora’s heart.

  Within a week she knew she’d fallen in love. However, she didn’t change her mind about Xavier’s people. She didn’t go into the living room when the guns were around but she bumped into Xavier’s team whenever she went into the kitchen. At first just looking at them made her want to run. They had a feral look about them that screamed danger. If she’d seen them on the street in London, she would have crossed over to the other side instinctively.

  The cowardly part of her wanted to hide in the bedroom all day long but the new tough Pandora willed herself to walk about the apartment as if she owned it. To her surprise, everyone left her alone.

  Paco just nodded and then studiously avoided her. Tan and Soo, two short Chinese who appeared to be techies, stared briefly at her breasts and then ignored her too. Even Ramon pretended she was invisible.

  She was rather pleased at first but when Mac turned up to check the pipes and also avoided her, Pandora smelled a rat. That night she asked Xavier if he’d said anything to them.

  “I went downstairs and had a word with Ramon about that video he showed you,” he confirmed.

  “And they all heard?”

  “Saw, actually. Ramon’s not exactly cerebral. After I told him why I was upset, I thumped him to drive the lesson home.”

  Pandora couldn’t help but feel happy about that. She could still see Ramon’s sneering face and voice when he frightened her.

  Xavier was looking coolly amused. “No lecture about wanton violence, Panda?”

  “Not at the moment. My moral values seem to be ebbing.”

  “Well, no need to worry about Ramon anymore. He knows he’s an inch from being fired.”

  “Fired or eviscerated?”

  “The second if he even looks at you the wrong way.”

  Although he spoke calmly as always, the force of the threat was so plain that Pandora was silenced momentarily. “I shouldn’t say so,” she said eventually, “but I don’t think I’d say anything if you did. I think he’s evil.”

  “Then he’s out,” Xavier said coolly. “I’ll give him notice.”

  Instantly she felt guilty. “You can’t just fire him because I don’t like him!”

  Xavier sighed. “Panda, please think. You believe he’s evil but you want him to stick around?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

  Bloody typical Xavier, she thought irritably. A few days had taught her that he was ruthlessly logical. He also wasn’t distracted by considerations like empathy, justice, or obligation. Where she dithered and debated and worried, Xavier knew what he wanted and took the shortest route to getting there.

  The remarkable thing was that he put her needs first. It wasn’t just small things like ordering pineapple pepperoni pizza when he didn’t like the combo, or even bigger issues like making sure she came when they
were in bed; Pandora now realised that Xavier would go to great lengths to make her happy.

  Like his willingness to fire Ramon. She knew Ramon had been with him for two years. In Xavier’s life that was a very long time. She knew they weren’t friends but she could see it was a good working relationship. Yet Xavier was willing to kick Ramon out, purely because Pandora didn’t like him.

  Predictably, Xavier sat totally still while waiting for her to think things through. Although his brain worked at the speed of light, he was never impatient while she was making up her mind.

  “I don’t want you to sacrifice a comfort,” she said eventually. “Ramon knows how you think. The next one may not and then you’d have problems. Also, there’s no knowing if the next man will be any different. I mean, I think Paco, Tan and Soo are total creeps too. For all I know all your people are the same. They certainly sound it.”

  Xavier thought about it. “I don’t think about it much, Panda,” he said eventually. “As long as they’re good at what they do, I don’t care what they’re like. But now I think about it, they are all very similar. They don’t like women much—as people I mean.”

  “Then there’s little point in changing anything,” Pandora said.

  “All right, just let me know if you change your mind.”

  She touched his arm. “Xav, don’t you wonder sometimes what it’s like to be with normal people?”

  “They are normal, Panda. You’re just used to people who hide their true nature. Miss Pickles is a nasty bully like Ramon; she’s just clever about it. And Richard is no different than Paco. Except that Paco will tell you he’s a gangster and that money is his god whereas Richard lies about it.”

  Pandora gasped and then laughed. “Criminals are more honest than regular people? I’m going to have to think about that, Xav.”

  “Gotcha, huh?” he was grinning. “I do love talking to you, Panda. All the guys can talk about is money and women. It’s very dull. You’re always interesting.”