Reverend Cash: Let Us Prey

by Sa'id Salaam

  “It’s just a revival,” Billy said of the Friday night gathering. He would much rather have been in the streets drinking and smoking but had no choice. He had to play the game. “No big deal.”

  “Hush up, chile! It is a big deal. I always wanted you to preach so gon’ on up there and preach!” she demanded. This was to validate herself just as much as him. So what if she slept with married men Monday through Saturday, her son was spreading the gospel on Sunday.

  The open air tent set up for the revival was already packed with the flock when Billy and family arrived. Pastor Paul smiled with dollar signs in his eyes. Not only was there an admission fee but the four Junior Pastors on the bill would allow him to be able to pass the collection plate at least four times. Pastor Paul loved the Lord but he loved the dough a little more.

  “You’re up first. You ready, boy?” Pastor Paul asked when Billy arrived.

  “Y–y–y–yassir,” he stuttered unsurely. The preacher raised a brow to remind him to speak proper English, which prompted a confident “Yes sir.”

  “That’s better. Now, go get that money,” Pastor coached. Pastor Paul had upped the ante by telling the boys that whoever’s basket had the most cash in it could keep it. It was the church version of ‘Big Bank takes Little Bank’.

  The murmurs of the congregation dimmed as young Reverend Cash took to the podium. It got completely quiet as they all awaited his first words. They would have to wait as he had nearly choked from stage fright. Billy closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nostrils. He smelled the scent of money and opened his eyes, his mouth, and then began to speak, preach actually.

  “Blessed are the peacemakers, they shall be called the children of God,” he boomed in a resounding voice reminiscent of the late great Martin Luther King Jr. All eyes were on him and he loved it. –Without a doubt, fame is the most addictive drug known to man.– The young Reverend Cash swayed under a wave of euphoria and clutched the podium.

  “Take your time!” a man shouted from the rear.

  “Preach baby,” his mama pleaded as she also swayed from side to side. And preach he did.

  Billy, or Reverend Cash as he’d one day become widely known as, had been mocking Pastor Paul for so long that preaching came easy. He stepped from behind the safety of the podium and went in. His voice rose and fell in a unique timbre. He really turned up when he saw that the collection plate was being passed around.

  “Everybody want heaven, but heaven isn’t free!” he told them. “What would you pay for heaven? How much is your salvation worth? Huh? Wel–l–l–l–l, put it in the plate!”

  “Damn it man!” Pastor heard. He looked around looking to see who had uttered the words and realized he’d said it himself. “This boy is gon’ be a star!”

  ****

  “I’m so proud of you!” Lady squealed once she got hold of her son. He scooted his hips back when she embraced him so she wouldn’t feel the large lump of cash in his pocket.

  The other boys didn’t even come close to collecting what Reverend Cash had. Earl poked his lips out and glared at him with a hand on his hip. Billy’s take after the church got its share was one hundred dollars. It was the most money he’d ever had in his life and it had him hooked.

  “Guess we don’t have to worry about this one getting high no more!” Pastor Paul told Lady.

  “Why would I get high when I got the Holy Ghost!” Billy shouted. He thought it was a bit much and toned it down a bit. “I’m high on faith!”

  “Amen!” Lady cheered and hugged him again. “Come on now, let’s go get you a pop.”

  “Great job! I’ll see you tomorrow,” Pastor Paul said with a pat on his back as the family departed. A man waved Lady over as they left the tent. He was the same one who’d told Billy to take his time — funny since it didn’t take him anytime to proposition the boy’s mother.

  “You gone have to take a raincheck on that pop. Mr. Jackson wanna go over some scripture,” Lady begged off.

  “Okay!” Mary and Billy both cheered, for different reasons. Mary wanted to take her brother home and fuck him. She’d been getting some every day for the last month now and was totally addicted to the dick. She spent most of her checks on him and she’d run up a tab that she knew she could never afford to pay.

  Billy, however, had other plans. Instead of heading home he headed straight over to the pool hall for a little smoke and drank.

  ****

  “If it ain’t Dollar Bill!” Leroy announced with a mock enthusiasm that made the boy hate him even more. “All gussied up too! Where you coming from, church?”

  “Yup,” he replied smugly and produced his bankroll. “Dranks on me and I’ll take a couple of them sticks out yo’ pocket too!”

  “Okay, okay. I see you getting money, huh?” Leroy said with a deceptive smile. In fact, it bothered him that the boy could make money without him. He already had Byron under his thumb and he wouldn’t stop until he had him too.

  “A lil’ somethin’, somethin’. I learned from the best. You the man, Leroy!” Billy said, stroking the man’s ego. Leroy nodded thoughtfully as he tried to decipher whether or not the praise was genuine or not. A slow smile spread on his face when he decided that it was.

  “Put that money away lil’ nigga! All dranks and sticks is on me!’ Leroy announced. Billy smiled too at seeing that men could be played just as easy as women — easier actually.

  ****

  Mr. ‘Take Yo’ Time’ took his time making love to Lady. It wasn’t until the next day when he finally finished. He’d rocked her world so well she gave him half of his money back.

  Both Lady and Mary were sound asleep when Billy got in pissy drunk from drinking free drinks all night. Everything was all good in a bad way, but things were about to get worse, a lot worse.

  Chapter 13

  “One day you gon’ be up there,” Lady leaned over and whispered into Billy’s ear as Pastor Paul prowled the pulpit. “You got talent.”

  “Shol’ do!” Mary seconded. She, however, was talking about his skills in the bed not the pulpit, and he knew it. Billy twisted his lips and shot her a side eyed glance. Just beyond her he saw Bernice licking her lips lustfully while staring at him. He snapped his head the other way only to find Shawna glaring at him. If he had eyes in the back of his head he’d have seen Shonda and her mama both staring at him as well.

  “One day,” he replied. Not because he knew the future but because Pastor Paul had told him he would.

  Billy noticed that the preacher seemed a lot closer to the other boys in The Junior Pastor Team. He’d share inside jokes, laugh, and spend extra time with them; especially the girly Earl. Billy assumed he did so because he needed the extra attention because he was so extra.

  Billy grinned and nodded in appreciation when the collection plate came around once again. It weighed heavily in his hands from being so full of cash. It was that same cash that paid for his clothes and the steaks that Pastor fed him. His mother nodded proudly when he dropped in some more of his own money. Billy knew that he’d get it and more back so it was all good.

  “Amen!” Lady shouted once the sermon finally came to an end. It could’ve ended an hour earlier if her new friend Mr. ‘Take Yo’ Time’ hadn’t kept urging Pastor to take his time. Pastor didn’t mind because he’d been able to push that plate around one more.

  “I’m shol’ is hungry! My stomach just a rumbling,” Mary grimaced with a hand on her belly.

  “I’ma get us a car soon as I turn sixteen,” Billy vowed. Again this was no premonition, again he knew because Pastor had told him so.

  “That shol’ would be nice!” Lady grunted as she led the march to The Rib Shack.

  “Hey y’all!” Carlita shouted when the family entered the small diner. She said y’all but only looked at Billy. She fluttered her false lashes at him and smiled brightly.

  “Chile, you gone fly away you keep flapping them lashes,” Lady teased. It tickled her to no end how much attention her handsome
young son got. She noticed it more and more as he grew more and more handsome by the day.

  “What’s wrong with you, chile?” Lady asked seeing her daughter sitting across the table with a look of distress on her face.

  “I’on know,” Mary frowned. The strong aromas of fat back, hog maws, chitterlings, bacon, pork chops, ribs, and lard assaulted her all at once. They overwhelmed her to the point that she scrambled to get to the bathroom. Her three hundred pounds slowed her down from getting out of the booth. She only made it three whole steps before her breakfast came gushing out of her mouth.

  “Oh Lawd, that chile is pregnant!” Carlita announced with glee. The fact that she hadn’t heard it meant she could be the first to spread it.

  “Pregnant!” Lady squealed with laughter. “She must be another Virgin Mary then cuz that girl ain’t got no man, cain’t get no man, and don’t want no man!”

  Mary’s head and shoulders drooped with sorrow as she continued on to the bathroom. Once the last of the grits, sausage, eggs, biscuits, and jelly she’d eaten for breakfast had come back up she washed her mouth out while she counted back. She frowned her face to help her think and obviously it helped because she came up with an answer — not a good answer, but it was the right answer.

  “Oh shit! I am pregnant!” she shouted to her reflection. If there was one consolation it was that at least she knew who her baby’s daddy was, even if it was her brother.

  “You okay?” Billy asked out of breath from holding his breath.

  “No, I mean yes!” she said holding her head up proudly to spite her mother’s mocking. “I am pregnant! And I’m keeping my baby!”

  “Chile, you… you serious? By who? Who?” Lady demanded, making a scene. Mary clamped her lips and crossed her arms over her breast, which meant ‘I ain’t telling you shit!’

  “Who been in my house!” she turned to Billy and demanded. He was so shocked that he was at a lost for words so he simply shrugged.

  “I’on know,” he barely got out passed the lump in his throat.

  “Oh, so y’all slick, huh? Y’all grown, huh? Well, pay fo’ y’all own meals then!” their angry mother said as she slid out of the booth. She then tossed her head back and stormed out of the restaurant.

  “She coming back?” Carlita asked when she returned with the three orders and noticed Lady gone. Mary shrugged and then scraped her mother’s plate onto her own.

  “Prob’ly not. I got it though,” Billy announced in dismissal.

  “I know you do!” she shot back and made a big show of walking away.

  “What you gon’ do if you pregnant?” Billy asked once they were alone. It took Mary a full minute to chew and swallow the large mouthful of food in her large mouth.

  “Pregnant people have babies,” she quipped sarcastically and reloaded her mouth with ribs and macaroni and cheese.

  “Girl, we brother and sister! We cain’t have no baby!”

  “We got different daddies so it’s fine,” she suggested and continued eating. She didn’t’ know if that was true or not, but it didn’t matter and she didn’t care. She didn’t have shit and never had so she was keeping the baby.

  The rest of the meal was spent in silence. The only sounds to be heard were Mary’s breathing through her nose, since her mouth stayed full, and the clanging of the silverware hitting their plates. The unconcerned girl finished her meal and then sucked down two of her favorite peach sodas. Billy managed to get his meal down and waved for the check.

  “We gon’ fuck when we get home?” Mary asked, finally breaking the silence.

  “Nah, I gotta go holla at Byron ‘ndem,” he replied. The ‘ndem he meant was Leroy. Surely the player/pimp/pusher would know what to do.

  ****

  Billy walked into the pool hall and paused. He blinked rapidly to adjust his eyes to the room darkened by smoke and the black hearts of the patrons inside. Between blinks Leroy came into view. As usual he was posted up in his usual booth. It was known as pimp central since it was where he ran his whores from. For once his main whore, who was usually always be his side, was noticeably absent. Since her head wasn’t seen bobbing up and down from under the table Billy assumed she was off with some trick.

  “Sup Leroy?’ Billy asked making the greeting sound like a question.

  “Me! What’s up with you?” the pimp asked, volleying the question back over to Billy.

  “Um… you ever um… you got any kids?” he asked for starters.

  “What yo’ mama don’ tol’ you?” Leroy shot back ready to deny whatever she’d said.

  “My mama? Nothing. I ain’t asked her,” Billy frowned in confusion. “What would you do if you got a gal pregnant?”

  “Me?” the pimp laughed, in the way that a pimp does when a woman tells him that she’s pregnant. He then quickly regained his composure as he began to understand the boy’s dilemma. “Okay, you gotta take a wire hanger, make a lil’ hook, and push it up in her. It’s gon’ stop when it hit the bottom but you gotta keep pushin’. Once it go in some mo’ you gotta scrape it all out. Once the blood start skeetin’ you…”

  “I cain’t do that to my… to her!” Billy grimaced at the odious instructions to the barbaric abortion.

  “I feel you, must be sweet on the gal. I figured you to be a tender dick nigga. Prob’ly kiss ‘em in the mouth and fuck ‘em face to face.”

  Mandy returned in time to catch the lighthearted ribbing. She smile a smile that was devoid of any trace of mirth. Her eyes too had lost the luster of life they once had. She let out a deep loud belch that filled the air with the smell of fresh cum.

  “Smells like money!” Leroy laughed while Billy grimaced. On cue Mandy produced a fist full of dollars and handed it over.

  That was power too and Billy recognized it. Instead of a collection plate he passed around a whore. Same results because they both came back full of cash.

  “Oh, bout yo’ lil problem. Slip the broad a lil turpentine in her soda pop and she’ll drop that load in the toilet,” he explained. “Just a lil though. That shit strong!”

  Chapter 14

  Lady was a tramp for a fee for most men, but she was always a lady for Mr. Morales. Luckily he only came through town once a year because being a tramp paid the bills. The businessman, from Trinidad, always made sure to coordinate his trip to coincide with her birthday.

  Every year he would treat her to a night out on the town for dinner, dancing, and mediocre sex in a five star hotel. Preparation for the big night began a week in advance. Lady would close her legs to all regular traffic from her regulars. Mr. ‘Take Yo’ Time’ got to take his time one last time before the visit.

  The day before the visit she would go downtown to Selma’s to get a wash and curl. She made sure to dress up for the occasion, knowing that she was a regular topic of conversation at the shop. A number of women had to skip their weekly appointment because their man had spent the money with Lady.

  “Mary, I want my kitchen clean ‘fo I get back. And when I get back you gon’ tell me which one of these niggas put that baby in you!’ Lady barked. However, the threat had no bite since she wasn’t going to do anything. Not to mention that the truth was worse than whatever she could do anyway.

  “See you later, Mama,” Billy said and tried to hurry and duck into his room.

  “Un uh! You got Junior Pastor Team meeting,” Lady reminded him.

  “Oh okay,” Billy groaned. He had other plans for the day so planned to skip it.

  “You wanna fuck?” Mary asked the second their mama stepped out the door and onto the porch.

  “When I get in… here…” Billy said and handed her an ice cold pop.

  “Thank you!” Mary smiled and turned it up. She frowned from the odd taste but sucked the bottle dry. “I think it was bad. Pick me up another one on yo’ way back.”

  “Okay, Mary,” Billy said, saddened at having just poisoned his sister into aborting their baby.

  ****

  A good round of gossip was ra
ging in Selma’s Beauty Salon when Lady walked in. The bell above the door tinkled causing all the nosey ladies to look over to see who’d entered. Renise paused and started right back up when she noticed who it was. She was the old school equivalent of a social blogger pre social media.

  She had the scoop on everyone and everything. Several of the women present were there to see her instead of getting their hair done. She and Mandy’s mother took turns talking about everyone in town that way the focus would stay off their own fucked up daughters. The women present moved their heads back and forth between the two women like they were watching a tennis match.

  “Gurl, who dis young boy runnin’ round layin’ all dis pipe?” Renise threw out. It was a purely rhetorical question since she knew exactly who he was and who his mother was too. “Sellin’ it for the low!”

  “I’on know, but I hear he a regular meat man! Slangin’ dick all over the Southside!” Mandy’s mama lied. She hadn’t heard anything about it but would not be one upped by her competition. The shop got completely quiet because everyone wanted to know who was selling quality dick for the low.

  “I heard they call him Dollar Bill or somethin’ like that. They say he a machine! Put a few dollars in him and he go all night!” Renise sang, winding her hips in her chair.

  Lady had heard enough to know who they were talking about. It all suddenly made sense, it explained all of the extra female attention, as well as all of the extra cash. She lifted her chin as far as it would go, and still allow her to be able to see, and marched out of the salon.

  “What’s her problem?” Mandy’s mom asked of her hasty departure.

  “That big dick lil’ boy y’all talkin’ ‘bout… oh that’s her son,” Renise cackled.

  ****

  Lady marched all the way across town with her arms swinging like a North Korean soldier. She was so angry that she didn’t even register any of the car horns blowing offering her a ride. She was soaking wet from sweat by the time she reached Pastor Paul’s house. She began yelling for her son as she walked up the walkway.