Joshua and the Cowgirl
Page 14
Just then the back door opened simultaneously with a knock. Heart galloping, Garrett met Joshua’s gaze. “Afraid to risk waiting for me to let you in?”
“Just saving your bad ankle. Hi, Casey, how are you? You haven’t been around much the last few days.”
Casey shrugged and stared at her uneaten meat loaf. “I’ve had homework.”
“Want to take a break tonight and play a little chess with me?”
She shook her head and edged toward the door. “Too much homework,” she mumbled and took off.
Joshua watched her go with troubled eyes. “Have you talked to her about this?” he asked Garrett.
“It’ll pass.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s gone on long enough.”
“Where are you going?”
“To talk to her.”
“Joshua!” The protest was wasted. He was already through the door. She could hear his footsteps taking the stairs two at a time and winced. If Casey actually answered his questions, they would probably hear his roar of fury halfway to Montana. In fact, she wondered if there was any way to get safely across the state line in the next half hour.
Lines from King Lear about the sharp tongues of thankless children came to mind. She had a feeling she was about to discover exactly what Shakespeare had had in mind when he’d written them.
* * *
Joshua tapped lightly on Casey’s bedroom door and waited. Finally he heard a very reluctant “Come in.”
He cracked the door and saw that she was sitting at her desk, a wary expression on her face.
“Could we talk, kiddo?”
“About what?”
“Why you seem to be so mad at me?”
A sigh shuddered through her and her shoulders sagged. The look she directed at him was filled with guilt. “I’m not mad exactly.”
“Then let’s talk about what you are exactly.” He sat down on the edge of her bed, faintly intimidated by the ruffled canopy and collection of dolls. He wasn’t used to all these feminine frills. “Want to sit over here by me?”
Casey approached him cautiously and picked a spot near the head of the bed. She picked up one of the dolls, a well-worn baby doll with faded clothes and skimpy hair. Clutching it to her chest, she waited patiently. Joshua could see a whole ton of emotions in her demeanor—anxiety, caution, and an oddly grown-up calm. If she hadn’t been clinging so desperately to that ragged doll or if he hadn’t seen the storm raging in her eyes, he might have bought her serene facade. Suddenly faced with this girl, who was part child, part woman, Joshua grew nervous. He wasn’t at all sure where to start.
“What’s been happening with you lately?” he began innocuously enough.
She seemed relieved not to be asked a direct question about the cause of her anger. “You know, school, chores, stuff like that.”
“You haven’t been around the house much. I gather you’ve been eating your meals with the hands.”
“Mom said it would be okay,” she said defensively.
“Of course, it is. I just wondered why you didn’t want to eat up at the house with us.”
She shrugged and gazed at the floor.
“Okay, let’s back up a minute. This goes back to that morning in the hospital, doesn’t it?”
Her gaze shot to his, then skittered away. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I think you do. You and your mother argued about something that day, didn’t you? Was it about me?”
Joshua could hear the ticking of the huge, old-fashioned alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. It seemed an eternity passed before she nodded.
Biting back anger, he asked calmly, “Want to tell me about it?”
“Mom says you’re going back to Florida,” she mumbled.
With that single revelation, Joshua understood it all. Garrett had planted her own seeds of doubt in her daughter’s fertile imagination. “You’re afraid I’ll leave you.”
“And Mom.”
“Casey, at some point, I will go back. I can’t deny that. I have a business there.”
A tear trickled down her cheek. With fingers that suddenly seemed all thumbs, he reached over and brushed it away. “No tears, okay. Casey, look at me.”
Eyes shimmering with tears, she glanced up finally.
“Honey, I will always, always, come back.”
“But you told me you wanted to marry Mom. You can’t marry her and be gone all the time, can you? What kind of family would that be?”
He sighed and took her hand between his. “I don’t have all the answers yet. I’m still not even certain if your mother wants me around on a permanent basis. Once she and I have worked that part out, I promise you, if it is within my power, we will be a family, all in the same place.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Are you going to ask her to marry you at the party?”
He grinned. “That is between your mother and me.”
“Oh,” she said, clearly disappointed.
“But I could use a little help in picking out her present. Want to go into Cheyenne with me on Saturday to find something?”
Her eyes lit up. “Really? You mean it? Just the two of us?”
“Just the two of us. We’ll make a day of it. Shopping, lunch, the works.”
“A movie?”
He grinned at her enthusiasm. “Why not?”
He reached across then and hugged her. “That’s my girl. The next time you’re worried about what’s going on with me, you just ask, okay?”
“I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“I’m just glad we worked it out. I’ve missed our chess games. You’re the only competition around. Mrs. Mac really is lousy,” he confided. “Just don’t tell her I said so.”
Giggling, she hugged him back. “I won’t. I promise.”
On his way downstairs it took everything in Joshua to keep his temper under control. The way Garrett had managed to twist things for Casey infuriated him. It was bad enough that she hadn’t allowed any of his efforts to make a dent in her distrust, but to destroy Casey’s faith in him was unconscionable.
He found her pacing the kitchen, limping back and forth on her walking cast and casting nervous glances toward the doorway. “You should be scared,” he said mildly.
“What did she tell you?”
“The truth. She said you’d told her I was leaving, that she shouldn’t count on me for anything.”
Garrett’s jaw set stubbornly. “I told her that for her own good. She can’t count on anyone except herself.”
“And me,” he said furiously. “And Mrs. Mac and you. Or don’t you believe you all qualify, either?”
“Of course, it’s just that…”
“Just what? That I’m a man? That I don’t live here? That I’m not her real father? Is that what this is really all about, Garrett? Are you still in love with the man who got you pregnant and then deserted you?”
“No-o-o.” Her eyes wide with shock, she stammered over the too quick denial. “Of course not.”
He shook his head. “I’m not so sure. There’s a mighty fine line between love and hate. Maybe you ought to take a good, hard look and see which side your feelings for that man fall on. While you’re at it, take a look at what you’re feeling for me. I’m not a patient man, Garrett. You’ve stretched me just about to my limit. You sit on the fence much longer and I just might not be around when you decide to jump down.”
On his way to the door he stopped just long enough to place a hard, bruising kiss on her suddenly vulnerable mouth. He wanted her to remember what was real, what was lasting.
He wanted her to remember him.
Chapter Thirteen
Garrett had never seen the house in such a state of chaos. Mrs. Mac had hired extra help to shine the floors, polish the chandeliers and help Elena in the kitchen in preparation for what seemed to be turning into an extraordinarily lavish birthday party.
All of the feverish ac
tivity only underscored Garrett’s own restlessness. She couldn’t concentrate. Memories of Joshua’s warning taunted her day and night. He had been amazingly tolerant of her uncertainties. He’d even seemed to forgive her, if only barely, for upsetting Casey with dire predictions about his departure. The man was a saint, she thought crankily. All that generosity of spirit was tough to ignore, though she was certainly trying. The fact that her blood sizzled when he came into a room only compounded the problem she seemed to be having with her common sense.
Just then her pulse skipped a beat and she knew intuitively that Joshua had entered the room. Her whole body came alive in his presence, tingling, anticipating.
“Ready?” he asked, and again her heartbeat accelerated, though she knew rationally that the question was perfectly innocuous. The man was only taking her to the doctor to get her cast removed.
She should have been thrilled. She would finally be able to get around easily on her own again. Instead she had these crazy mixed feelings. Over the last weeks she’d grown accustomed to Joshua’s gentleness. Though she’d fought him tooth and nail, deep down she’d enjoyed being taken care of. The breakfast and lunch trays in bed, the sleigh ride, the long quiet talks, all had finally bewitched her. She’d been able to justify her response by reminding herself repeatedly that it was just temporary, only until the cast came off. Now, perversely, she discovered she didn’t want that incredible, cherished feeling to end. That was a dangerous, dismaying discovery for a woman who prided herself on needing no one.
“I’m ready,” she said, turning around finally, praying that he couldn’t read her confusion in her eyes.
“What is it?” he asked at once.
“What is what?”
“There’s something wrong. You’re crying.”
Her fingers flew to her cheek. To her astonishment, she realized he was right. She really was coming unglued. Wiping the dampness away, she said, “Sorry, I didn’t even realize.”
At the tiny catch in her voice, he was across the room in three strides, pulling her into his arms. Nestled against his chest, that cherished sensation flooded through her again. Joshua represented strength and caring, two of the things most lacking throughout her entire life. Listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, feeling the power of its beat, a surprising reassurance swept over her. This wasn’t Casey’s father. This wasn’t an immature boy who would walk out on her, leaving her heart in tatters. This was a man she could love through all eternity…if only she dared.
A sigh whispered through her and Joshua’s arms tightened. “Garrett?”
“I’m okay,” she said finally, stepping back. She saw the damage her tears had done to his shirt. “You, on the other hand, are a mess. Let me have that shirt and I’ll get Elena to dry it and iron it for you.”
A flicker of pure mischief dashed through his eyes as he reached for the buttons. “I think I like this crying stuff, after all.”
Her gaze narrowed suspiciously. “Because?”
“You’ve never asked me to take off my clothes before.”
“Joshua, I am not asking you to take off your clothes,” she retorted even as she watched him dutifully unbutton his shirt. Her protest was entirely too weak. “I just meant…”
“Oh, I know what you meant. Normally you’re just too shy to ask. Now you have an excuse.” He stripped the shirt away and threw it over the chair, then reached for the waistband of his jeans.
“Don’t you dare!” she ordered, but it was more whisper than command. Her eyes were locked on the breadth of his bare chest.
“But…” Joshua implored with all innocence.
Swallowing hard, she dragged her gaze up to challenge his. “If you even think about touching that zipper, I’m out of here.”
Disappointment streaked across his face. “Too bad,” he said, snapping the jeans closed just as Mrs. Mac came into the room and gasped.
“Oh, my,” she said breathlessly. The starch was back in her voice in no more than a heartbeat. “Joshua Ames, put your clothes on right this instant. Garrett, I’m surprised at you. Casey could have been the one walking in here instead of me.”
“It’s…it’s not the way it looks,” Garrett explained hurriedly. “Joshua’s shirt got wet. He was just taking it off so Elena could dry it.”
“Humph!” Her expression was disbelieving.
“True,” Joshua said. “Much to my dismay, our intentions were purely innocent.”
“I doubt you were innocent the day you hit the cradle, young man. Wet or not, I suggest you put that shirt back on until you get another one from upstairs.”
With a wink at Garrett, he put it back on every bit as slowly as he’d taken it off. To her dismay, she watched every bit as avidly as she had his disrobing.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get to that doctor. I can’t wait to watch you taking something off.”
“Joshua!” She shot a worried look at Mrs. Mac, but she was chuckling.
“The cast, darlin’. The cast.”
“Oh,” she said and could have kicked herself for not keeping the disappointment out of her voice. The man was entirely too smug without her giving him more to gloat over.
“I like you in pink,” he noted. “What do you think, Mrs. Mac?”
“Very becoming.”
Garrett glanced down at her red shirt and blue jeans. “Pink?”
“Your cheeks.” His grin widened. “Fascinating. Now they match that shirt.”
She glared at him. “I wonder if Red would drive me to the doctor.”
Before she realized what he intended, she was off the floor and in Joshua’s arms. He glowered fiercely. “Not likely. You and I have a date and I get real testy when a lady stands me up.”
“Has anyone ever dared?”
He considered the question thoughtfully. “Not since the first grade Halloween party. Lynda Dixon.”
“You still remember her name?”
“A man’s not likely to forget a woman who rejects him.”
“Obviously she was a very shortsighted woman.”
“Exactly what I told her when she begged me to take her to the senior prom.”
Laughing, she settled comfortably in his arms. “Okay. Okay. I get the picture.”
He nodded approvingly. “I thought you might.”
* * *
Joshua’s grip on the phone tightened. This was the last thing he needed. After weeks of delicate maneuvers to assure Garrett of his feelings, he couldn’t leave Wyoming now. She’d never trust him again. Now that she was out of that cast and on her own two feet, she’d take off on him like a shot at the first hint of what she perceived of betrayal. “Suzy, tell him I’ll be back in a week or two,” he told his assistant. “Reschedule the appointment.”
“He’s adamant, boss. You’ll see him by the first of the week or he’ll hire someone else.”
Joshua wanted to tell the man to go to blazes, but he didn’t dare. Not that he couldn’t sacrifice this account and a dozen more. He didn’t need their money. However, he did need to keep his reputation for reliability intact. That, every bit as much as his financial skill, was what kept him in business as an investment consultant. Obviously he’d put off this prospective client just as long as he could.
“Tell him I’ll meet with him on Monday morning. I’ll fly back late Sunday.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Suzy said.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing I can’t handle. Is everything okay out there? Are Mrs. McDonald’s finances untangled yet?”
“As much as they’re ever likely to be. I think she’d be content to keep her spare cash in a cookie jar, if she weren’t so set on amassing a fortune to leave to Cal.”
“A fortune he doesn’t want or need. The only thing that man needs is family. Can’t she see that?”
“Maybe if he’d stay out here for more than fifteen minutes at a time, she’d realize it. Instead, the harder she tries to bribe him into staying, the quicker he is to run.”r />
“Maybe this time’ll be different. Cal called this morning and said he and Marilou were leaving for the ranch at noon. He wanted to know if there was anything you wanted me to send along with him. I told him I’d just sent you half a dozen faxes and that anything else could wait until you got back.”
“You didn’t know I’d be coming back Monday.”
“Sure I did,” she said. “I can read you like a book. I’d already made your plane reservations, but Cal said you could fly back with them.”
Joshua chuckled ruefully. “It’s nice to know I’m so predictable.”
“Not that predictable,” she assured him. “For instance, I would have sworn you’d be back two minutes after you landed. Guess you hadn’t gotten that cowgirl out of your system, after all.”
“What do you know about Garrett?”
This time Suzy laughed. “Come on, boss. I can add two and two as well as you can. See you Monday.”
“Yeah,” he grumbled. “See you Monday. Maybe I’ll surprise you and be late.”
“That wouldn’t just surprise me. It would send me into shock. Bye-bye.”
Joshua would have growled something about the fate of disrespectful help, but she’d already hung up in his ear. Instead he simply sat and stared out the window. His fingers curled around the jewelry box in his pocket. He’d bought the engagement ring on his shopping trip with Casey. She’d helped him pick it out. The blue star sapphire shimmered like lights. The diamonds around it glistened like stars in a midnight sky. The ring had reminded him of the dazzle in Garrett’s eyes when she had stared up at him in the heat of passion. He’d known at once that a simple diamond would never do. He planned to give it to her tomorrow night. With any luck the birthday party would turn into an engagement celebration. Now he wondered how much celebration he could hope for, once she learned that he was about to go back to Florida.
* * *
Garrett stood in front of the full-length mirror and slowly turned. She couldn’t believe that the woman reflected in the glass was really her. The blue satin dress bared shoulders that were pale as cream. The hem skimmed her knees, displaying slender calves and well-turned ankles. She could barely tell that she’d just had a cast removed from one leg, though she had been forced to wear flat shoes rather than the heels that would have been more traditional with the gown. Over her objections, Casey had brushed her hair until it hung in a shiny wave below her shoulders. It was caught back from her face on one side by a rhinestone studded comb lent by Mrs. McDonald. The two of them had pronounced her gorgeous thirty minutes ago. She still couldn’t quite get over the possibility that they might be right.