Following Flora

by Natasha Farrant

  “We’re very pleased to meet you,” she said. “We’re all so fond of Zach.”

  Zach’s mother looked around the room, took in Jas and Twig on the sofa, Zoran, Flora, me, before coming back to let her eyes rest on Zach.

  “Won’t you sit down?”

  Zoran gestured toward the sofa. Twig and Jas jumped off it. Flora also came to stand beside Zach and took his other hand. His mother sat down, still wearing her coat.

  “Say something, Zach,” Flora whispered, but he still couldn’t speak.

  “This was a mistake.” Zach’s mother was already back on her feet. “I have to go,” she said, and hurried out of the room. Zach came back to life, shouted “Mum!” and ran after her. After a moment’s hesitation, Zoran followed.

  “No,” Mum said as Flora started to go after Zoran, and then she cried, “Twig, stop that, it’s dangerous!” because he was leaning right out of the window, looking into the street.

  “You can see really well from here,” he said, and we all leaned out, ignoring Mum.

  Down on the pavement, Zach’s mother was trying to get into a car, but Zach stood in her way. She pushed him, jumped into the car, and drove away.

  Even four stories up, we heard Zach shout, “Mum!”

  He ran after her but she didn’t stop. He went halfway down the street and then gave up.

  Flora ran downstairs, but Zoran got there. He pulled Zach out of the road and then he just stood there, with his arms around him, holding him and holding him while Zach cried like I’ve never seen a boy cry in my entire life.

  FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27

  Flora says she was right all along and that Zach’s mother is a witch. She went to see Zach this morning, and came into my room when she got back to tell me about it. I knew the minute she came in that she was in a really bad mood.

  “I don’t care how nice she ever was to him,” she said. “All that going to the seaside and tea at the Ritz. She’s horrible and I hate her.”

  “What happened?”

  She flopped down on my bed and closed her eyes. “We quarreled,” she sighed.

  This is how it happened. When Flora arrived at Zoran’s flat, he said that Zach had gone to the park with his basketball, so she followed him there.

  “He was all alone on the court,” she said. “Just like the first time I spoke to him.”

  She watched him play until he stopped, and then she called out to him. Normally, she says, his whole face lights up when he sees her, but today he just said, “Oh it’s you,” and that’s when they had their first argument, right there on the basketball court. Flora said, “Aren’t you going to kiss me hello,” and Zach said, “What’s the point,” and Flora wasn’t quite sure what to answer to that so she said, “I’m so sorry about your mum,” and Zach said, “Yah, well,” and they sat down on a bench, and Flora said, “I can’t believe she could be so horrible.” Zach said, “It’s not like that,” and Flora said, “Well what is it like then,” and suddenly they were shouting at each other, all about Zach’s mum and how Flora with her ******* perfect family could never understand what it was like for him.

  “I said don’t talk about my family like that, and then we yelled some more, and he left.”

  “He really said that about us?” I asked.

  Flora said, “Yes, he did.”

  “But we’re not perfect,” I said. “We’re so very far from perfect.”

  “That’s not all,” Flora said. She was huddled up in a ball on my bed, with a blanket wrapped around her, and for the first time I realized that she looked scared as well as angry. “I think she was there, Blue,” she said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Zach’s mother. He stormed off and didn’t see her, but I did. Standing at the edge of the court, you know where the big trees are? She must have been hiding there the whole time.”

  “Are you sure it was her?”

  “I didn’t see her face,” Flora admitted. “And she was wearing a hat, but it was the same coat, and she was watching us. It was creepy, Blue.”

  “We should tell the parents,” I said.

  “Tell them what?” Flora asked. “They’ll only go and talk to Zoran, and then Zach will be even more furious with me.” And then she repeated how much she hated Zach’s stupid mother, and stormed off to talk to Tamsin.

  Zoran spoke to Mr. Rudowski yesterday to tell him what had happened, and also to ask him to explain Zach’s mother’s behavior, but Mr. Rudowski was so upset that one of the nurses took the telephone away from him and told Zoran to let him be. I overheard Zoran tell Mum when he came around this evening to bring back a bag she forgot at his flat. He’s spoken to Alina about it too. Alina says she doesn’t know any details, but that Wanda (Zach’s mother) had always been what she calls problematic and had a history of mental illness.

  Zoran is taking Zach away. Alina has a friend with a little cottage by the sea near Brighton, and he has agreed to lend it to Zoran. “It will do us both good to get away for a while,” Zoran said.

  Flora says, “Good riddance,” and she never wants to see Zach again, but I know she doesn’t mean it. She keeps checking her phone for messages from him. And Jas is upset as well. She just came into my room too, as I was writing this, and asked did I know when Zach was coming back.

  I said that I had no idea, and she crept out again, looking dejected.

  SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28

  Grandma has arrived, on her way back to Devon from Arizona. Dad went to fetch her at the airport, and she is going to stay for a week, while Dad whisks Mum away to Paris for a few days of Being Romantic.

  Having Grandma here has cheered everybody up. Grandma can be maddening, and she is even more bossy than Flora, but it’s difficult to be miserable when she’s around. For one thing, she is one of the loudest people I know. She landed at six o’clock this morning. By half-past seven she was in our kitchen cooking the most enormous pan of fried eggs I have ever seen, as well as a skyscraper of pancakes.

  “AMERICAN BREAKFASTS!” Grandma bellowed, pouring maple syrup over everything. “ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS! NO NEED TO EAT ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!”

  Grandma has her own view about the baby. “AT YOUR AGE?” she cried when they told her. “ARE YOU MAD?”

  “I’m only forty-two,” Mum said, and Grandma sniffed and said forty-two should be old enough to see sense but she supposed there was no stopping some people. I could see Mum really wanted to storm out of the kitchen but also that she was torn because everything tastes so delicious when it is covered in maple syrup.

  “How are you all taking the news?” Grandma asked more quietly, when I went up to her room to watch her unpack.

  “It was a bit of a shock at first.” I thought it was probably best not to mention Iris or Dad being scared. Grandma can be very understanding and she is one of my favorite people in the whole world, but it’s not always easy to talk to her when she’s being disapproving. “We’re really happy now,” I said. “Dad keeps telling Mum’s tummy that he loves it. Twig is convinced he’s going to get a brother, and Flora wants to play at being a mum with her boyfriend, Zach, or at least she did until they had a fight.”

  Then I got distracted, because Grandma had pulled a very torn and battered copy of Jane Eyre from her case, and I remembered that I’m supposed to read the first three chapters over the holidays but with all the baby excitement and then Zach I had completely forgotten, and not for the first time I thought that there was something a little bit magic about Grandma, who is able to produce exactly what you need, when you need it.

  “Ah, the boyfriend,” Grandma said. “Your father told me all about him. And what about you? Are you in love yet?”

  There’s never any use lying to her.

  “I’m not sure about being in love,” I told her. “But I am going out with my friend Jake.”

  Grandm
a said, “Well I hope you’ve got him on a good short rein.”

  I said I didn’t really know what that meant, and Grandma said it meant she hoped that Jake was being nice to me, and also that I wasn’t letting him walk all over me if he wasn’t. “I know what you’re like, young Bluebell,” she said. “You’re too forgiving.”

  I fingered my Santa badge. “He’s very nice to me,” I said.

  Grandma gave me one of her sharp looks.

  “Really,” I insisted. “He is.”

  I didn’t want to tell her I haven’t heard from Jake since he sent me that smiley way before Christmas. For a start I didn’t think she’d approve, but also perhaps this is normal. Just because Flora and Zach are permanently joined at the hip (or used to be, anyway) doesn’t mean everybody has to be like that. And anyway, how much can you say in a text?

  Grandma was still looking at me.

  “Some things fit and some just don’t,” she said. “Not enough people remember that.” And then she changed the subject and said why didn’t I read Jane Eyre out loud to her while she finished unpacking.

  I’ve been reading it all day. “It’s a lot better than I thought it would be,” I told Grandma this evening at supper, and she smiled and said wasn’t it wonderful when life turned out that way.

  SUNDAY, DECEMBER 29

  Flora is starting to get twitchy about New Year’s Eve, and the fact that she still hasn’t heard from Zach. She was going to go down to Trafalgar Square with him to see the fireworks, and now she doesn’t know what to do.

  “Can’t you go with Tamsin instead?” I asked, and she said that wasn’t the point. She called Zoran to ask him when they were coming back and he said he didn’t know. Then she asked him why Zack wasn’t answering her texts, and he said he didn’t know about that either, but to give him time.

  “How much time does he need?” Flora moaned after she’d spoken to Zoran. “I’ve said I’m sorry about a million times, even though he hasn’t once apologized to me. Just because he’s so worked up about his crazy mother, why does that mean he can’t talk to me?”

  Grandma said boys often find it difficult to think about more than one thing at once.

  “He’d better come back soon,” said Twig. “Or we’ll never finish the tree house.”

  “I really, really need to speak to him,” whispered Jas. “Can I have his phone number?”

  Flora shouted, “For God’s sake, no wonder he doesn’t want to see me anymore!” and you could tell she was going to cry because her nose was blotchy. “The way you go on,” she screamed, “you’ve probably scared him off!” And then she ran upstairs, and sure enough she hadn’t even reached the landing before she burst into noisy sobs.

  That was this morning. Then Dodi rang to say she was back and what was I doing for New Year’s.

  “Are you seeing Jake?” she asked. “Shall we all do something together?”

  I said Jake was still at his grandparents’, and Dodi said, “No, he’s back.” And then her voice went a bit funny and she said, “Didn’t you know that?” and even though we were on the phone I blushed, and said no I didn’t but it didn’t matter.

  “He’s been back since Boxing Day,” Dodi said. “I spoke to Colin last night. I can’t believe he hasn’t called you.”

  “We’re not really like that,” I said, but I couldn’t really believe it either.

  “You’re his girlfriend,” Dodi said. “What you need to do is call him up right now to tell him he can’t treat you like that. On second thought, don’t do that, it makes you sound a bit desperate. I’ll call him.”

  I held the phone away from my ear and looked at it. Dodi carried on talking. I don’t think she even noticed I wasn’t listening.

  “I never even wanted to go out with Jake in the first place,” I told her.

  “Well, why did you then?” she asked.

  “Because you told me to. You’re always telling me what to do.”

  “Only because you can never decide anything for yourself.”

  I hung up on her. She called right back, but I ignored her.

  It seems quite astonishing to me that Flora and I both have boyfriends who are ignoring us, but at least Zach has the excuse of his mad mother. Jake’s just being rude.

  I read a load more of Jane Eyre today, and what I think is this: if Jane Eyre, who was a weed, could stand up to Mr. Rochester, who was rich and powerful, at a time when women were supposed to be meek and never complain, then I can stand up to Jake and ask him what is going on.

  THE SAGA OF BLUEBELL AND JAKE

  HEARTBREAKS AND MILK SHAKES

  DAY, EXTERIOR, ABOUT THREE O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON.

  BLUE, carefully attired in a black skinny jeans (her own), a silvery sequin jumper (borrowed from Dodi long ago and worn under her orders), duffle coat, her Santa badge, and one of Flora’s hats, shelters at a bus stop in front of Jake’s house, waiting for him to come out.

  The front door opens. Jake emerges. Blue breaks into a discreet run and catches up with him.

  BLUE

  (masterful, though inwardly quaking)

  Let’s go for a coffee?

  JAKE

  (looking terrified)

  Er.

  BLUE

  (still displaying a strength she does not feel)

  Excellent. Let’s go to Home Sweet Home.

  Cut to interior, Home Sweet Home. Blue and Jake sit at a table by the window. She (being sophisticated) has a cappuccino. He has ordered a chocolate milk shake.

  BLUE

  (presenting a gift-wrapped package)

  This is your Christmas present. It took me ages to find it. I hope you like it.

  JAKE

  (not looking at her, mumbling so hard he is virtually incomprehensible)

  I can’t go out with you anymore.

  BLUE

  (plowing on)

  I bought it because I know you love the X-Men films and it reminded me of when we went to the cinema. You know, with Colin and Tom.

  JAKE

  (as above)

  When I was in Australia at my auntie’s wedding I met my cousin’s best friend Talullah and fell in love with her. I felt really bad because of you, and so I tried to forget about her and make it work with you, but then I found out she was coming over for the holidays. They were the Australian friends who came to stay with us before Christmas. After us, they went to stay with Gran. That’s why I left London early, to go and see her. She has gone back to Australia now, but I still love her and I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I’m sorry.

  BLUE

  (shakily)

  I can’t believe you didn’t tell me before.

  JAKE

  I didn’t mean for it to happen. As soon as we arrived in Melbourne we drove out to the beach to look at the penguins and Talullah was there. Ever since I’ve been very confused.

  BLUE

  I love penguins.

  JAKE

  So does Talullah.

  BLUE

  I suppose I’d better go then.

  (hesitates)

  You can keep the present.

  She rises slowly and walks away feeling crushed and humiliated. At the door, she turns one last time with tears in her eyes. Jake is already talking on his phone. Blue, feeling like she is in a real movie, strides back across the café to the table where Jake sits.

  BLUE

  Are you talking to her?

  JAKE

  What? No! Of course not, it’s nighttime in Australia!

  Blue carefully takes back the comics. She removes the badge and puts it down where the comics were. And then she picks up Jake’s milk shake and empties it over his head.

  MONDAY, DECEMBER 30

  I forgot I was cross with Dodi. The first thing I did when I left the café w
as call her to tell her what I’d done.

  “His milk shake?” Dodi repeated. “All over his head? Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

  I’ve never heard her laugh so hard at anything.

  I think it’s the most outrageous thing I have ever done in my entire life. In fact, I think it may be the only outrageous thing I’ve ever done, and it felt fantastic. I ran almost the whole way home. It was raining really hard and I didn’t have an umbrella, but I didn’t care. It could have been hailing golf balls and I wouldn’t have noticed.

  My mood changed as I got wetter and colder. I passed the cemetery where Jas found the kittens and went in. I found Violet Buttercream’s grave and Jas was right, it is a nice place to sit. “I should be crying,” I told myself. The rain fell harder and the light grew dimmer. I was freezing by now. I thought really hard about how my heart had been broken into a thousand tiny pieces, but still the tears didn’t come, because what I mainly felt was angry.

  All that time wasted thinking about Jake when he wasn’t ever thinking about me. He used to be my friend. He should never have lied to me.

  Jas was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework when I got in. I put the kettle on for tea, then sank onto the sofa and sighed.

  In the proper film of my life, this would have been the moment when they play soulful music with a close-up of me gazing moodily out of the window looking brave. The moment when everything is about to change. An important moment.

  Jas didn’t even look up from her books.

  “Jake and I have split up,” I told her.

  Jas sighed, gathered up her papers, and stomped upstairs.

  I followed her. On the landing outside our bedrooms, Grandma was lecturing Twig on the rules of football indoors.

  “The ball should not be muddy,” Grandma scolded.

  “But I like mud,” Twig replied.

  “I’ve split up with Jake,” I said, but neither of them replied because at that moment Flora stole the limelight as usual, and started screaming on the phone downstairs.