THIEF: Part 3

by Kimberly Malone

  “Oh.”I sit up.“Um…sure.It’s upstairs, first door on the right.”I fall back against the pillows, waiting till Alex is out of earshot before sighing.I appreciate old-fashioned chivalry as much as the next girl, but it’s not 1954, here, either.

  My phone lights up from the coffee table, the silent ping.I check my text messages: just one, from Fiona.

  How’s the date?Any play? :P-Fiona.

  I smile.Does shoulder-leaning count?

  Just a couple seconds later, she answers, I think so.But then again, my boyfriend is gay. So what do I know.

  I send back a half-frown.Tonight’s the break-up, huh?GL.Tell me everything later.

  Will do.Have fun with Alex. :)

  “Hey.”

  I set my phone down and smile as Alex comes back downstairs.“Hey.You missed the end of the documentary—want me to rewind?”

  Alex checks his watch.“Actually, uh…it’s getting kind of late.I promised my mom I’d help her plant some trees tomorrow.”

  I stand, trying to hide my disappointment.“Oh…okay.Here, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  Out in the lot, Alex jingles his keys and unlocks his car, but hesitates before climbing in.“I had a lot of fun tonight, Erin.”

  “Me, too,” I smile.Great—I know what that means.No second date.I’ve heard it a million times.

  “Do you…”He pauses.“Would you like to get lunch tomorrow?I don’t have any plans after I help my mom out.”

  This lifts my spirits.I really like Alex.It’s not the heady rush from my first dates with Silas, that strange summer feeling where time somehow flies by even at a standstill, but it’s a nice feeling, the tingly beginnings of a crush—and I’m not ready to let it go yet.Not when it’s practically all I’ve got going on.

  “Sure,” I tell him, trying not to sound too eager.I’ve still got to play the game, after all.“Call me when you get done.”

  He nods, then opens his car door.I wave one last time and turn to head back towards my townhouse, when he calls out, “Erin, wait a sec.”

  I turn back and stare at him, waiting.He fidgets a little.“Um…okay, so, it’s been a long time…since I’ve had a first date.”He steps closer, closing the gap between us.“I’m not exactly smooth when it comes to this…this, uh—”

  I laugh and stand on my tiptoes, kissing him.His words get caught in his mouth, his lips relaxing against mine as he bends his head.Gently, he snakes his hands to my neck, his fingers in my hair as the kiss deepens.

  When we pull apart, just a few centimeters, I whisper, “See you tomorrow.”

  Alex smiles in a way that tells me he feels it too, the tingly, dizzy crush-beginning feeling.“Okay,” he says quietly.“Goodnight, Erin.”

  “Goodnight, Alex.”

  I wink as I turn around and head back to my townhouse.I watch him leave from the porch, his headlights blinking at me in the last few seconds before he’s out of sight, on the main road.

  It’s when I open the door, one foot inside my home, that I hear it: the low rumble of an engine, just a few feet behind me.

  When I turn to look, all I see is a car surrounded with exhaust, hanging low in the summer-to-fall heat, the driver a tall, broad-shouldered figure.I can’t tell, but it looks like they’re looking at me.Watching me.

  Before I can see who it is, the car’s headlights turn on and blind me.Its engine revs, but the car stays put.

  My first thought is Gordon.I wouldn’t put stalking past him, but I'm not eager to go and find out for sure, either.

  I can feel my muscles tensing; suddenly, all I want to do is get inside my house, lock the doors, and feel safe under a blanket on the couch, a knife from the kitchen stashed under a magazine on the table.But I hold back, trying to enter as casually as I can.The deadbolt locks with an assuring click.

  Still, the car doesn’t move.I see its headlights shining through the curtains, can hear the engine even when I take the TV off mute.

  I’m not afraid of Gordon anymore.My words to Silas seemed so true at the time, but after seeing his face in the courtroom, I’m not so sure I shouldn’t be afraid.

  Finally, the lights swing left, and the engine’s rumble fades.I go to the window and peer out through the tiniest gap in the curtain I can make.

  The spot’s empty.

  I go to my door and look through the peep hole: nothing.

  For some reason, though, I don’t feel safe.I just feel more alone than ever—more than every night between Silas leaving and this one, combined.

  Got a kiss, I text Fiona.She doesn’t text back.

  Chapter Seven

  “I’m sorry about last night.”

  I raise an eyebrow.“Sorry?”

  “Yeah, you know….”Alex blushes, taking a sip from his Jack and Coke.“For himping out.”He takes another sip—more of a gulp, actually—and sighs, “I wanted to kiss you a lot earlier in the night.”

  This makes me smile, like a lot of what Alex says.“It’s okay.I was just getting a little worried.That you weren’t interested, or whatever.”

  “No, no, I’m definitely—”He stops himself, embarrassed.“I mean, I like you a lot.And…I hated the thought of you thinking I didn’t.”

  I clink my glass to his, the tiny ping the loudest noise in the restaurant.Planting trees with his mom took longer than he expected, so we're eating in that lull between meals, when everywhere’s dead and all the servers are outside smoking.Not that it mattered to me, having to wait around a few more hours for him.Most of my days are the same, lately.With two exceptions: these dates with Alex, which I hope will form a pattern, and my texts from Fiona, with updates on her not-so-romantic life.

  We broke up, she texted me this morning.Congrats on ur date tho.Really—i know it prbly doesn’t sound like im happy for u. but i am.

  I wasn’t sure what to say—still being fairly new to this friendship thing—so I answered, Sorry, wish i could be there in person. did he admit it?

  Yeah, she answered.He said he’s known for a while but didn’t want to hurt me.What a joke.

  I’d written back a generic condolence, but didn’t hear from her after that.Maybe I should call, but I’m not sure how to handle this kind of thing long-distance.At least face-to-face, you can offer a hug and some alcohol, and let things run their course.

  “So,” Alex says, passing me some bread from the basket between us, “I feel like we mostly talked about me last night, where I’ve been and stuff.”He bites into a piece, thickly buttered, and nods at me.“Tell me more about you.”

  I bite into a slice of bread too, if only to stall.“What do you want to know?”

  Alex shrugs.“Your childhood?”

  “Crappy,” I answer, too quickly.Alex raises an eyebrow, so I backtrack.“My dad wasn’t around.Like…ever.My mom wasn’t even sure who he was.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” he says.“That must have been hard, just you and her.”

  “Actually,” I say, taking a long sip of my sweet tea, “things would have been a lot easier if it had been just us.”I’m suddenly craving alcohol, but a second date doesn’t seem like the best time to break out my fake IDFor some reason, I hadn’t cared with Silas—in fact, telling him all about my life had come easily.I like Alex a lot, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t replicate that comfort I felt with Silas.Not just yet, at least.

  I play with the water ring from my glass, pooling on the table, and add, “Mom dated around a lot.We, uh…never saw eye-to-eye on her boyfriends.”

  “I’m sorry,” he says again.“So…were you and your mom close?”

  I shake my head.“I wanted to be.But….”I think of the day I stopped trying, the day my mom made it clear she wasn’t on my side, would never be; the day I finally admitted to her that Gordon, her sleazy live-in boyfriend, had raped me.She chose to believe his lies, and I left, on my sixteenth birthday.We’d barely spoken since then, until this past summer.The last few months she’d been alive.And even then, we never said what we’d really wanted to say.At leas
t, I hadn’t.

  “But…what?”

  “Huh?”I blink at Alex, coming back to the present.“Oh!Sorry, I just got…distracted.Let’s just say my mom and I weren’t exactly the picture of a happy home.I moved out when I was sixteen, talked to her maybe twice over the next three, maybe four years, and then right when I moved back home…she died.”

  “Oh, wow.I’m so sorry, Erin.”

  Alex reaches for my hand; I let him.“You don’t have to keep saying that.”

  “Saying what?”

  “‘I’m sorry,’” I repeat.“I mean, I appreciate the sentiment and all—I’m just saying, you don’t have to say it every time.Life gets shitty sometimes, that’s all.Happens to everyone, sooner or later.”

  “Not me.”

  I sputter my drink, laughing.“Sure.”

  “No, really.”He drags a hand through his hair, chestnut-colored and just a little longer on top, but clean-cut.“I hate to admit it, because it must make me sound incredibly naive, but…”He looks at me.“…nothing that bad’s ever happened to me.I’ve had a really lucky life.”

  Quickly, I reach for his hand and make it into a fist, rapping it against the wooden table.We both laugh.

  “Probably not a bad idea.I’m overdue, I’m sure.”

  “Seriously,” I say, taking a sip from his Jack and Coke.He raises an eyebrow, and I wink.“You’re telling me at twenty-three years old, not one bad thing has ever happened to you?”

  Alex rolls his eyes, thinking.“Okay, I shouldn’t say nothing bad has ever happened.I tore a tendon in high school running track.I got mugged in Russia one summer, the first time I’d traveled alone.Bad things have happened.Just, you know—nothing tragic.”

  Tragic.This word, with all its brooding drama and vagueness, makes my life sound more like a Victorian novella than a real life—which is to say, a life full of ups and downs, things falling into place and coming undone, then repeating.Hearing it compared to something tragic, though, makes me wonder if it is.

  “Once again,” I tell him, mustering a smile, and knock his hand against the table.

  With Silas, things happened quickly.Blindingly fast, actually.So while Alex’s nervousness on all things physical slows down the pace, it isn’t as frustrating as I’d thought, always waiting for his next move.It’s sweet, and it’s nice to be a little conservative, to enjoy the way things go without my head spinning from the speed.

  Still.There’s something about that part, how easily the next steps happened for Silas and me, that I miss.

  So when Alex says, softly, “I, uh…I’d like to kiss you again,” I smile, pulling him off the porch and into my apartment.

  He doesn’t seem to mind when I take the lead, just a little surprised, like last night at his car.I don’t mind, either—I’m used to initiating.Maybe, I try to convince myself, the only thing I loved about Silas was that he took control most of the time; he was just a nice change.

  I know it’s not true, but I can’t be blamed for trying.Here I am with a crush on Alex, still in love with Silas, and only the former is worth my time.Simply put, I’m kind of a mess.At this point, fooling myself’s all I’ve got.

  Alex laughs nervously, under his breath, when I shut the door and move from his mouth to his neck.I make sure to rub my body against his erection.“Erin,” he whispers, when I lick his ear, flicking my tongue down to his collarbone.His skin smells like bar soap and salt, so different from Silas’s, but so similar in a way.So much like every guy I’ve been with, the sharp smell of their soap and deodorant, so different from my own, the heat of their breath when they say my name, sugary and new.

  “You want to go upstairs?” I whisper, and Alex swallows hard, clearing his throat, and nods.I lead the way, my hand trailing behind to touch his fingers, barely a hold.

  The bed’s unmade, but Alex stands beside it, like he needs permission.I put my body against his, kiss him, and undo his fly.I watch him kick off his shoes, then step out of his pants, his eyes on mine and flickering, somewhere between excitement and nervousness, as though any moment I’ll send him on his way.

  I push on his shoulders a little to let him know where he should be.He sits on the edge of the bed like an obedient puppy, eager to please.I peel off his shirt.

  For a second—just long enough to take it in, but not so long I make the poor guy even more nervous—I stare at him.He’s muscular, which I already knew, but not in Silas’s rugged, outdoorsmen way.It’s more conserved, like Alex himself, the muscles tighter, less wiry, the kind you’d get from gym workouts versus labor.His body hair is soft brown, almost blond.And while it’s not as big as Silas’s—I’ve never been with a guy who was—his cock is not unimpressive.Not the biggest I’ve seen, but definitely not the smallest.

  I unbutton my blouse a little, then step forward and wait for him to do the rest.Shy as he can be sometimes, he’s not slow on the uptake; the buttons come undone so quickly, his hands brushing the shirt down off my shoulders, I barely realize it’s happened.

  Alex looks like he doesn’t know where to begin, but I decide for him.I slip off my shoes, shimmy out of my skirt, and kneel.The area rug, thick white shag, tickles my knees as I get on the floor.

  I glance up at Alex through my hair.He stares back, looking like he might say something.Before he can, I take him into my mouth.

  “Oh, God,” he sighs, breathless as his cock slides into my throat.I slide my hand in front of my chin, cupping his balls and squeezing them a little.A drop of pre-cum hits my throat as I do, and Alex moans quietly.

  I bob my head, his cock hitting the back of my throat with a steady rhythm.Alex winds his hands into my hair but doesn’t force it; either he’s too nervous to do so, still, or figures I want to stay in control.Either way, I don’t mind.I keep my eyes on him.Every noise and expression makes me wetter, and by the time I’ve gotten him as hard as I can, every vein in his shaft pushed against the skin, I’m more than ready to feel Alex inside me.

  When I pull my mouth off him, he blinks, as though remembering where he is, and obeys when I tell him to get in bed and lie back against the pillows.

  I straddle him, suddenly too horny to care about making him wait and doing my usual powerplay routine, all tantric and drawn-out.Instead, I don’t even ease myself onto his cock; I take it all in at once, deep and quick.

  Chapter Eight

  Both of us moan loudly, surprised at the rush of pleasure.It’s only been two months since I’ve slept with someone, but the tightness, that slight pain mixed with euphoria, makes it seem like so much longer.I think of the candles I’ve had inside me, my own fingers.Nothing compares to the real thing, even if it’s not who I’ve been imagining all these weeks.

  Don’t think about Silas, I command myself.It’s surprisingly easy to push my thoughts of him away.Alex is so different, yet in good ways, that it’s easy to be present.He lets me control everything—the rhythm, depth—but guides me gently, every now and then, placing his hands on my ass and pushing me down, getting his cock in as far as he can before letting go and relinquishing control again.

  “Erin,” he sighs, “this—God, it feels incredible.Could you…could you slow down, just a little?I’m…”He blushes.“I’m really close, and I want to keep it going.”Gently, Alex pushes some hair from my eyes, resting his hand on my cheek.“I want to feel you come first, Erin.”

  This tiny bit of bravery on his part—almost a command, yet still seeking permission, in a way—is a turn-on.I lean back a little, stopping the movement of his cock in and out of my pussy, and sink as deeply as I can.Both of us sigh again at the feeling.

  With one hand, I part my wet, glistening lips, showing Alex my clit.It’s swollen, nearly throbbing, and when my other hand touches it, I feel my pussy tighten just a little.Alex shudders.

  “Show me what you do when you’re alone,” he whispers.

  I like this side of him, if only because it’s so unexpected, and do as I’m told.I start to rub my clit in steady circles, pressing down harder, rubbi
ng faster, as the pleasure increases.The peak draws closer; I shut my eyes, tipping my head back, and let myself make the noises I make when I masturbate: gentle moans, little hiccups of breath.

  “I’m close,” I tell him, and he takes it as permission to thrust—just once, deeply and hard.It’s just what I need to send me right to that peak.

  My orgasm is fast, but unlike so many nights of porn and makeshift dildos, or thrusting my own fingers in and out, barely able to reach my G-spot, it doesn’t feel hollow or rushed.With a real cock inside of me, pulsing and swelling while my pussy tightens again and quivers, it feels solid.I feel more solid, like I’m finally myself again, after Silas took such a big piece with him.

  Alex arches his hips, his eyes shutting, and I know he’s about to explode.I lift myself off him, his cock barely inside of me, and then slam down, filling myself with every inch.He groans; I do it again.Within seconds, he’s coming.

  “Fill me up,” I command him, and he tries to answer, but can’t manage more than a whimper.

  When he finishes, I gently slide his cock out of me and lie on the bed beside him, my head on his chest.He takes a long time gaining his composure.

  “Erin,” he says, finally, “oh, my God, I….”He kisses me, shaking his head.“It’s been so long since I’ve…since I’ve slept with anyone.That felt amazing.”He kisses me again, his voice sinking to a whisper.“Thank you.”

  I chuckle.“You don’t have to thank me.”

  “I know,” he says, though I’m not sure he does, “it’s just….”He hesitates.“It’s been four years.”

  “Holy shit,” I say, without thinking.Here I was thinking two months was a long dry spell.

  Alex nods.“I know.”

  “How does that happen?”I realize I must sound incredibly rude, but it’s a hard question not to ask.Shy as he is sometimes, Alex is sexy.It’s hard to believe, in all his globetrotting, that he hasn’t taken a few women to bed.

  Thankfully, Alex doesn’t seem to mind.“I’m not sure,” he shrugs.“I guess between school, and all my traveling…dating was kind of tough.And I wasn’t one for casual sex.I tend to take things slowly.”