All I Want For Christmas (A Sweet, Contemporary Romance) (Romance In The Lakes Book 1)

by Tracey Mayhew

  “Where’s your brother?” Holly asks but I fear we already know the answer.

  Amy looks down at her feet, shuffling awkwardly. “I tried to get him to come home; I really did,” she insists, “but he wouldn’t even talk to me. Just walked off with Jake.”

  Holly nods sadly. “At least I know where he is, I suppose.”

  “I could go over there and get him, if you want,” I suggest.

  “Thanks, but no,” Holly says, shaking her head. “It’s obvious he isn’t ready to talk to me; I’ll just wait until he is.” She forces a smile before turning and walking back to the kitchen.

  Amy looks at me, pleadingly. “He can’t keep avoiding us forever, can he?”

  “No, he can’t,” I agree.

  “Then what do we do?”

  I offer Amy a wry smile. “Well, isn’t that the million dollar question?”

  Chapter 29

  I’m still no closer to figuring out an answer when Glenn comes by to help clear up later that night – I sent Holly home early so that she and Amy could spend some time together after everything that’s happened. I want to help her; I want to help them all, I just don’t know how.

  “Honestly, I just don’t know how he can do this to them,” I say, aware that Glenn’s stopped mopping the floor to watch me. “I mean, they’re his family and, not only is he intent on abandoning them but he seems hell-bent on taking every opportunity he can to hurt Holly.” I pause as Glenn takes me in his arms and, for the first time today, I feel myself relax. “Hasn’t he done enough?” I ask quietly, closing my eyes as Glenn starts stroking my back.

  “I wish I could do something to make this better for them,” he murmurs.

  “Me, too,” I agree. “But what?”

  He sighs. “To be honest, I’m not sure there’s much we can do, apart from being here for them when they need us.”

  I nod, letting myself drift into my thoughts, once more, guilt surging through me; I’m more than aware that, in just over a week, I’ll be heading back to London but I’m not sure Holly’s ready to be on her own, especially with the prospect of Mike’s visit in the New Year looming. And, now, she has all this stuff with Josh to contend with.

  “What are you thinking?” Glenn asks, breaking into my thoughts.

  I pull away from him. “Just thinking about how unfair all this is.” I hesitate before adding, “and about how I’ll be going back to London soon.” This is still, very much, an unspoken issue between us.

  Glenn takes my hand. “Look, I’ll be here, okay? You don’t have to worry; I’ll look after them.”

  “Thank you,” I say, tears in my eyes.

  “And Sofia and her family will support her, too,” he continues. “And you’ll visit.”

  I glance at him. “Yeah, I will,” I agree as I realise the feeling of dread I used to feel about coming home is long gone now.

  “It’ll be okay,” he promises. “It’ll just take time.”

  Just as I’m about to speak, I stop as someone pushes against the locked door, rattling it in its frame; looking around, I’m surprised to see Josh peering through the window. He waves, offering an awkward smile. Hurrying to the door, I open it and pull him inside, hugging him tightly. “I’m so glad to see you!”

  “Jess… I can’t breathe,” he gasps.

  “Oh, sorry!” I mutter, releasing him, just as Glenn approaches.

  “You okay?” he asks, placing a hand on his shoulder.

  Josh nods curtly, dropping his gaze to the floor as he shuffles from foot to foot. I look up at Glenn, hoping he understands what I’m trying to say with just a look.

  Nodding, Glenn turns to grabs his coat from the back of a chair. “Well, I better be off,” he announces, meeting my gaze. “Come by mine later, yeah?”

  I nod. “Sure,” I agree, offering my cheek as he leans in to kiss me.

  “See you later, Josh,” Glenn says, ruffling his hair as he passes him, on his way out.

  “Yeah, bye,” Josh mutters, barely glancing up as Glenn closes the door.

  Now that we’re alone, I hug Josh again, glad when he returns the hug without a fuss. Stepping back, I gesture to the nearest chair. “Sit down; I’ll just phone your mum.”

  “No, don’t do that,” he begs, his head snapping up.

  “I have to, Josh,” I say gently, “she’s worried about you. And let’s not forget: she thinks you’re at Jake’s.”

  Josh sighs, clearly, knowing I’m right. “Okay, fine. But I’m not going home yet,” he tells me. “I came here to talk to you.”

  I hold my hands up, eager to placate him. “That’s fine; your mum just needs to know where you are, that’s all.” I pause, smiling. “I’ll just tell her we’re having a chat.”

  Josh nods, clearly still wary of his decision to come here. “Okay.”

  Nodding towards the fridge, I say, “Get yourself a drink; I’ll be back in a tick.”

  I grab my phone from behind the counter and, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, dial Holly’s number. As I wait for her to answer, I watch Josh as he goes back to the table and slouches in the chair; right now, I’m not about to let him out of my sight.

  “Hello?”

  “Holly, hi,” I say, watching as Josh looks at me.

  “Hi, Jess; everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine… I just thought you should know that Josh is, here, with me.”

  “He is? Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine,” I assure her quickly. “He just wants a chat.”

  “Is he coming home?”

  I can hear the pain in her voice, the tears that she’s surely holding back. “I don’t know,” I whisper, turning my back on Josh. “I’ll try my best, okay?”

  “Okay… thanks, Jess.”

  I smile. “Don’t thank me, yet. Look, I better go; I’ll see you later, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Ending the call, I walk back the table and, sitting down, just wait until he’s ready to speak; the last thing I want to do, right now, is push him too far and have him bolt.

  “Is Mum okay?” he asks quietly and I know that, despite whatever he’s feeling, he’s still the same caring boy I know and love.

  “She’s upset,” I admit. “She thinks you blame her.”

  “That’s not true!” he tells me vehemently. “How can I blame her when this is all his fault?” he demands. I say nothing, letting him vent. “I mean, he didn’t even have the guts to tell us any of this himself; he didn’t even tell me, or Amy, he was leaving! And then he expected Mum to tell us about Christmas! It isn’t fair; it’s not right.”

  “No, it isn’t,” I agree.

  “You hate my dad, don’t you, Jess?” he asks suddenly, his eyes meeting mine.

  “Um… what?” I ask, taken aback by the question; I thought I’d pretty much kept my feelings about Mike hidden from the kids. Clearly, I hadn’t done as good a job as I’d thought.

  “You hate him, don’t you?” he repeated.

  “Um…” Now, I’ve never lied to Josh, or Amy, but, for once, I’m actually considering it because I know Holly would hate for me to be honest and reveal my true feelings. “No… I don’t… hate him, as such,” I begin hesitantly, wondering where I’m going exactly, “but his recent behaviour hasn’t really endeared him to me.” There, that was okay, wasn’t it?

  Josh watches me, knowingly, and I get the distinct impression he knows more than he’s letting on but, thankfully, he doesn’t challenge me. “I hate him, too,” he declares suddenly.

  At these words, I’m reminded of my earlier attempt to talk to him before the Light Switch-on, before Glenn had interrupted. “Hate is a strong word, Josh,” I reason. “I know he’s made mistakes-”

  “Stop defending him!” he retorts. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” I agree, “but I’m not about to sit here, slagging him off with you, either; your mum wouldn’t want that. And, for the record, I’d never defend what he’s done.”
>
  “Sorry,” he mumbles, taking a sip of Coke.

  “That’s okay. Listen, whatever’s happened, he’s still your dad,” I start. Sighing, I continue, “Look, you know I’ve had… issues with my dad.” Josh nods. “I’ll be honest: for a long time, I didn’t think we’d be able to fix our relationship but we have; it’s taken a very long time but we are trying.” I pause, allowing my words to sink in. “Right now, you hate him, you hate what he’s done; I get that. But that might all change in a few years from now-”

  Josh scoffs. “I doubt it.”

  “But you don’t know for sure, Josh,” I retort. “Right now, the wounds are still fresh, the betrayal’s too painful, but once everything’s had a chance to heal… you may be able to forgive him. And you may not.”

  Josh nods, clearly considering my words. “And what if I never forgive him?”

  I shrug. “Then you don’t forgive him. Josh, no one can tell you how to feel about him. I’m not telling you to forgive him,” I assure him quickly, “but I am suggesting you leave the door open, just in case.”

  “Does that mean I have to talk to him now?”

  I laugh. “No way; you talk to him when, and if, you’re ready.”

  “Mum will be upset if I stop talking to him.”

  I place an arm around him. “Listen, if you told your mum how you feel, I bet she’d understand.”

  Josh doesn’t look convinced. “Really? Because she still wants us to phone him over Christmas and see him when he comes after Christmas.”

  “That’s because she doesn’t want either of you lose your father; she’s trying to do what’s right for both of you.”

  “But I don’t want to see him or talk to him,” Josh insists. “I want to be as far away from him as possible.”

  “And, have you told your mum this?” Josh shakes his head. “Then how can you blame her for trying to hold things together when she doesn’t know how you feel? Seriously, Josh, talk to her; she only wants what’s best for you.”

  Thankfully, Josh nods. “I guess you’re right.”

  I grin. “Of course I’m right; I’m always right about these things.” I pull him into my side. “So, are you ready to go home and talk to your mum, now?”

  “I guess,” he concedes. Looking around the tearooms, he asks, “Do you want a hand to finish cleaning?”

  I wave his question away. “Nah, I’ll leave the rest til the morning. Come on, let’s get you home,” I add, nudging him until he stands up.

  Josh grins. “I guess you want to get back to Glenn, eh?”

  I gasp, blushing furiously. “Hey, what do you know about me and Glenn?”

  “I may only be a kid but I’m not blind,” he says. “You love him, don’t you?”

  I splutter for a moment, lost for words. “Love him? No… I don’t love him.”

  Josh rolls his eyes, hauling his bag onto his shoulder. “Whatever,” he mutters, heading for the door.

  “Yeah, whatever,” I agree as I collect the keys from the kitchen. Turning off the lights as I go, I step outside into the frosty air, locking up behind me. We walk in silence, at first, but it isn’t long before Josh speaks.

  “You know, you deserve to be happy,” he says matter-of-factly.

  I glance over at him, grinning. “Why, thank you, Josh; I’m glad you think so.”

  “Jess, I’m being serious,” he insists. “You haven’t been happy since… your mum,” he continues quietly, bringing a tear to my eye. “But since you’ve come back and met Glenn… I just think that, if he makes you happy, you should stay here; with him, with us.”

  Stopping, I pull him into a hug, silent tears falling. “When did you get to be so grown up?”

  Josh shrugs. “So, will you think about it?” he asks hopefully.

  “Yeah, okay; I’ll think about it,” I promise, suddenly feeling lighter than I have in years.

  Josh nods, satisfied. “Good,” he says with a smile.

  Holly opens the door, immediately pulling Josh into a bone-crushing hug. “Oh, thank goodness you’re safe!”

  “Mum, I was with Jess!” he protests.

  “Yeah, what did you think I’d do? Burn the tearooms down with him inside?” I ask, offended.

  “I’m sorry, Jess; I was just so worried,” she explains. Releasing Josh and, stroking his cheek, she asks, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he assures her. “I just needed to get things straight in my head,” he adds. Glancing at me, he says, “Jess helped me do that.”

  I smile supportively at him.

  “Go inside; I’ll be in in a minute,” Holly instructs, “I just need to talk to Jess.”

  Nodding, Josh turns to me. “Night, Jess.”

  “Night,” I reply, relieved he’s finally back where he belongs.

  “Thank you,” Holly says, stepping out of the house and hugging me. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

  I smile. “Are you kidding? That’s the one thing you never have to do. You know I love your kids, Holly; I’d do anything for them.”

  Holly nods. “Is he okay?”

  “He will be,” I assure her. “But he really needs to talk to you, openly and honestly, and you need to listen to what he’s saying.”

  “Okay, you’re scaring me now.”

  “No, it’s nothing scary,” I assure her. “He just needs to know you’re hearing him.”

  Holly nods. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind; thank you.”

  “No problem. See you tomorrow, then.”

  “Yeah, you will. Night.”

  “Night.”

  I step back, watching as Holly closes the door, and smile, knowing they’re taking the first steps towards healing. Turning, I make my way to Glenn’s house, my mind buzzing, now, thanks to Josh.

  Chapter 30

  You know, you deserve to be happy… I just think that, if he makes you happy, you should stay here; with him, with us.

  Josh’s words, his simple observation, are still on my mind the following morning when I open up the tearooms. To be honest, they had been on my mind most of the night, prompting Glenn to ask, several times, if I was okay; I’d fobbed him off by saying I was worried about Holly and had let him comfort me and tell me it was all going to be okay. I mean, it’s not like I can tell him what’s playing on my mind because I know exactly what he’d say: he’d tell me I should stay; leave London behind. Even though the prospect of coming home makes me happy, I’m just not so sure if I’m willing to take the risk, not just yet; after all, things always go wrong, don’t they? Dad could have a set back or Glenn and I could break-up…

  “Hi ya!” Holly calls as she breezes in through the door, a beaming smile on her face.

  “Morning,” I grin, forcing my own concerns from my mind. “I take it last night went well, then?”

  She nods, places her bag on the counter and takes off her gloves. “Oh, Jess; it went so well. Josh and I talked for hours; he, finally, opened up to me and told me how he was feeling.”

  “I’m glad,” I say. “I think he was just feeling guilty and regretting his behaviour; he knows you’ve been through a lot.”

  Holly nods. “I know but I’m so glad he feels he can talk to me now.”

  “That’s great; I’m so happy for you both.” I hug her briefly before returning to my mind-numbing task of wrapping the cutlery in napkins.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Glancing up, I frown. “Nothing’s wrong,” I insist.

  “If you say so,” she says, but it’s clear she doesn’t believe me.

  Sighing, I abandon my task and turn to face her; I need to talk about this and I know Holly won’t push me either way. “It’s something Josh said, actually.” I smile fondly at the memory. “It seems you have very observant son.”

  Holly frowns. “Why? What did he say?”

  “He just told me that I deserve to be happy,” I begin. “He pointed out that Glenn makes me happy and that I should stay here.”

  “Well, he isn
’t wrong there,” Holly says simply.

  I sigh; deep down, I’m beginning to believe that, too, but I just can’t seem to trust my feelings.

  “So, are you thinking of staying, now, then?” Holly asks hopefully.

  I shake my head. “I don’t know; I mean, even if I was, I’d still need to go back to London to sort things out; to hand in, and work, my notice-”

  “Sounds like you’ve been giving this some serious thought,” she interrupts, raising her eyebrows.

  “I know,” I acknowledge.

  “But…?” she prompts.

  “I don’t know!” I exclaim, running my hands through my hair in frustration. “One minute, I’m all for it but the next… I start thinking of all the things that could go wrong.”

  Holly nods, her eyes full of sympathy. “Do you really think things are likely to go wrong between you and your Dad again?”

  I shake my head. “I hope not but you never know, do you? I mean, he’s lived a certain way for so long; I find it hard to believe he’s finding it so easy to change after all this time.”

  “Well, maybe he’s realised his love for you is greater than his need to live in the past.”

  I scoff, rolling my eyes. “You make it sound like a Hallmark card.”

  “I’m serious, Jess!” Holly exclaims. “Yes, he’s lived a certain way for years but he’s also seen what it’s cost him. Now you’re back, maybe he’s realised he doesn’t want to lose you again.”

  I have to admit: what she’s saying makes sense, but that still doesn’t mean I’m ready to believe her, just yet. “It’s not just Dad that worries me,” I confess.

  “Glenn,” Holly says knowingly. I nod. Stepping closer to me, she says gently, “Jess, there comes a time when you have to trust your heart to someone, otherwise you’ll end up bitter and alone.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “You know I’m right,” she says pointedly. “I’m just saying: Glenn’s a decent guy; you could do a lot worse.”

  Don’t I know it? I think, shuddering as I recall the few guys I had dated in the past.