Stop Those Monsters!

by Steve Cole

  “They will?” A smile spread slowly over Alfie’s face. “Hmm . . . yeah, maybe they will!”

  “But he looks like a boy wearing a monster-suit!” I protested.

  “So?” said Verity. “That’s his gimmick! Now, as for you, Zola, you want to be a proper artist with your own studio.”

  “But no one appreciates my talents round here,” Zola sighed.

  “Well, then, be an artist in the human world! They have of weird and crazy and incredibly expensive art that clever people buy and pretend to like, when really they don’t understand it at all.”

  “Really? This sounds !” Zola beamed at me. “Oh, yes, Bob, I am coming with you for certain.”

  Alfie nodded. “Me too, man!”

  “You are?” I smiled wearily. “Well, I guess maybe you could stay in the cellar, at the very bottom of the house.”

  “Oooh, yes!” Zola clapped her pale-green hands. “And from there, if we ever get homesick, we can sneak down through the crack in the ground that started this whole business and visit Terra Monstra!”

  I looked at Verity. “And what about you? Will you come?”

  “Ooh.” She looked at me warily, nose twitching. “Would . . . would you like me to, Bob-ob-ob?”

  I thought. And then I grinned. And then I said, “ABSO-NIBBLIN’-LOOTLY!”

  “” Verity jumped into my arms and we hugged each other tight. “I’ve studied human beings through humanoscopes for so long, Bob-ob-ob . . . it’ll be to study them in the flesh! Just think! I’ll dress up and disguise myself in your old clothes and watch hundreds of humans going about their daily business: working, playing, going to the toilet . . .”

  “You will NOT watch them going to the toilet!” I insisted.

  “Well, maybe not all the time.” She hurried into the kitchen. “Come on, guys! Let’s go. Another life begins today!”

  “How about that?” Alfie clapped a friendly claw on my shoulder, then ambled after her. “I guess it does.”

  “It does, it does for sure.” Zola ran inside with him, gazing with wonder at the kitchen cupboards and the walls. “Ooooh, I still can’t believe it. Actual paint! Paint, all over! Oooooh . . .”

  I watched Verity lead Alfie and Zola through to the hall, chattering excitedly. Then I turned to the crystal. I hesitated.

  Was this wise, I wondered? Going back to my ordinary life with three crazy monsters in tow? Taking a piece of tricksy Terra Monstra back up above with me – how was that a recipe for trouble-free living?

  Then I smiled. Who wants an ordinary life, anyway?

  I made my wish, touched the Star Jewel and then hurried into my house.

  The choice was made. The whole house trembled, shining with light. The gloom outside was fading, becoming bright with colour. Already I could see trees starting to form outside, and tarmac and streetlamps and parked cars and other houses and all that wonderful normal-world stuff I thought I’d never see again.

  I was going back home and, yes, Verity, Alfie and Zola were coming with me.

  Of course, I knew I couldn’t have stopped them even if I’d tried . . .

  How could anybody stop those monsters?

  Endnote

  1. If you don’t know the Greek myth of the Trojan Horse, look it up. Not NOW! What the flip are you like? This is the exciting bit!