Fangs for Freaks

by Serena Robar

  Piper moved toward her and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Piper. That’s Thomas and the crazy chick rolling on the floor with your friend is Colby.” She smiled at the girl, who seemed a little less afraid because Piper was making fun of me and—well, it was rather funny that I was rolling on the floor with a wild Mexican Lolita.

  The girl tentatively took Piper’s hand and said, “I’m Lucy Meyers.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Lucy,” Piper replied, clasping her hand in a firm handshake.

  “She’s not going to hurt me, is she?” Lucy asked Piper, her cornflower blue eyes looking huge in her pale gaunt face, and I groaned. It was like Bambi thought I was gonna make her into venison or something.

  “Well, don’t go nuts and try to pound her skull into the ground and I think you two will get along just fine.” Piper smirked at me, keeping the conversation light but making it clear that I was defending myself against an attacker and not randomly knocking people unconscious.

  Lucy smiled tentatively and I smiled back. Then Piper added, “People are always launching themselves at Colby. She brings out the best in them that way. You’ll get used to it.”

  Lucy giggled into her hand.

  “Hardy-har-har. You’re a scream today, Piper.” I stood up and dusted off my backside.

  “You’re not what I expected,” Lucy said shyly after shaking my hand.

  “Really? What did you expect?” I asked, intrigued by what kinds of rumors were circulating about me.

  “Someone older,” she confessed and then clarified, “Not that you’re not old enough to be the Protector, it’s just …”

  “Ah, so you know who I am. Don’t sweat the old thing. I’m gonna look this way forever so I could be much older than I appear.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been locked away a very long time and my manners are rusty. I’m so grateful you are, well, you.” She smiled with such sincerity I admit I felt my chest puff out a bit in pride. Now we were getting somewhere. This was the kind of reception I planned on, not being attacked by someone I was supposed to protect.

  “You said you’ve been locked away? I don’t understand.” Piper interrupted the lovefest with her question.

  “I can’t explain it myself. After I was attacked and changed, I was taken away to a place I can only describe as a kind of prison. They fed me and let me watch TV and stuff but I was there all alone for months before Angie joined me and then we were transported here.”

  I looked at Thomas in question. Only an Investigator could have placed her in a holding cell.

  “It’s possible, since there was nowhere for her to go. The house wasn’t ready yet and it wouldn’t be safe for her in the vampire world.”

  The mysterious Angie took that moment to moan from the floor. I needed her to understand I wasn’t going to harm her, if she would only stop pulling my hair long enough to listen. I reached down for her hands to pull her up. This time she didn’t struggle and I helped her to her feet.

  “Let’s try this again,” I said slowly, looking her in the eyes.

  “My name is Colby and I won’t hurt you. Do you understand? Just don’t go pulling my hair again and we’ll be fine. What’s your name?”

  She looked around the room, a hunted desperation in her eye but when nothing happened she relaxed a little and said, “My name is Angelina Flores.”

  “Great, well it’s nice to meet you, Angie?” I looked at her for confirmation that she used Angie as a nickname and she nodded. “Welcome to Psi Phi House, your new home away from home.”

  I gestured around the room, proud to finally be showing my people all I had done for them. She looked around dubiously. I must have been wearing an expectant look on my face, because she felt obligated to give her opinion.

  “It’s pink,” she stated, less than enthusiastically. Piper laughed and Thomas coughed. I glared at them and he tried covering his mouth again but his shoulders were shaking. She took one look at my face and backpedaled quickly.

  “I like pink. Pink is …” She took another desperate look around the room and finished lamely, “Pink.”

  I sighed heavily. “You don’t have to lie to me, I’m not gonna lock you up if you don’t like pink. But you are gonna have to get used to it ’cause the pink stays,” I said firmly. I certainly didn’t want to give anyone the idea that I was willing to change my house colors in some sort of democratic vote or something.

  She nodded in agreement, then asked, “Is every room pink?”

  “You’re welcome to check it all out and see for yourself. First let me show you to the sleeping room and then you can pick out your bedrooms.”

  Everyone followed me back toward the library, which was located across the hall from the housemother’s room. It looked like an ordinary library, with two wingback reading chairs and walls lined with bookcases.

  I walked into the room and stopped in front of the far bookcase. I found a big red book and pushed it forward; the bookcase made a clicking sound, popping out just a bit. I pulled it open the rest of the way using the hidden handle in the side of the door frame, and voilà, a secret staircase.

  “Cool,” Piper couldn’t help but murmur and I noticed the rest of the group nodded. Yeah, I thought of that, thankyouverymuch.

  The light flipped on automatically and they followed me down the stairs to a huge basement. It was divided into two rooms. One was the sleeping dorm, with bunkbeds lining the walls. A partition separated the dorm in the center, giving the quarters a little more privacy.

  The other half of the room was a place for everyone to kick back and relax. Plasma screen television and couches for chilling, a large conference table and chairs for house meetings and homework. There were even a couple of computers for the girls to surf the Web and check e-mail.

  “It’s not pink!” exclaimed Angie, who seemed delighted with the warm, inviting earth tones.

  “Yeah, well, I had to throw the decorator a bone.” Or she might have tried to suck me dry, I added to myself wryly.

  In the sleeping room, the colors changed again. The beds all had coordinating comforters and accessories in blue and lavender. Then on the other side of the partition the room colors changed to pale yellow and green. See, I could be reasonable about the pink.

  I let them walk around and just soak it all in, feeling a huge amount of pride in my work. It was all coming together now. My dream was finally becoming a reality.

  “Colby?” Lucy questioned apologetically. “Is there somewhere we can clean up?”

  I smacked my hand against my forehead, “Dude, I am so stupid. Of course you wanna take a shower and stuff. I suck. Sure, the bathrooms and showers are upstairs. There are robes and towels up there too. Let me show you.”

  I walked them back upstairs and pointed out where the trial-size shampoos and such were. I figured most people would bring their own stuff but was glad my mom suggested having some travel sizes on hand. Moms think of everything.

  “They’re going to need clean clothes,” Piper said, once they were in the shower.

  “Yeah, they don’t have anything. Thomas, why is that?”

  We both turned to stare at him, as though it were his fault since he was a Vampire Investigator and all.

  “I have no idea. They should have been escorted with all their belongings. This is a safe house, not a prison. I’m going to call my supervisor and see if I can’t get the details of their relocation.”

  He flipped open his cell phone and wandered downstairs, speaking into it and completely ignoring us.

  “Well, he’s nothing if not efficient,” Piper said to me after he was gone.

  “You have no idea,” I answered, rolling my eyes heavenward. When he was on task, nothing and I mean nothing could stray him from his goal. Not even a purple knit bikini.

  “Who’s open this late?” I said.

  “Hmm, the malls are closed but Wal-Mart is probably still open, or Fred Meyer?”

  Not two of the most appealing options but hey, beggars
couldn’t be choosers. Especially if the goal was clean underwear.

  “Piper, could you … ?” I started to ask.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m on it. Underwear, some sweats and tank tops? Something for a little support ’cause I’m not guessing bra sizes or anything.”

  “You’re a gem,” I said as I grabbed my purse. I pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. My mom and dad had given me emergency spending money before I left today and I was already using it. I promised myself that I would get reimbursed from the Tribunal for the undies and any new clothes the girls needed. This was their fault anyway.

  She took the money and said, “I’m buying myself some dinner too. I’m starving.” And with that sentiment, she loped down the stairs like a good little errand girl. I don’t know what I would do without Piper. Sure, she was a pain in the backside but when push came to shove, there was no one else I would rather have in my corner.

  Of course, there was one other person who I wouldn’t mind having in my corner. I stopped at the bottom stair watching Thomas pace the back hallway, phone to his ear, occasionally nodding or asking a question. His brow was furrowed in concentration and I had an overwhelming urge to take his phone and start kissing away the worry lines.

  Instead I waited patiently, wondering what was wrong with me that he didn’t want to take our relationship to the next level. Was my butt too big? Too small? Maybe my shoulder-length blonde hair wasn’t long enough?

  Suddenly, I had a horrifying thought. Did my breath stink? I cupped my hand in front of my mouth and tried to exhale, but practically passed out from dizziness instead. I looked up in time to see Thomas staring at me with the oddest expression, much like the one I wore whenever I witnessed Piper wearing ratty Converses with new jeans. Hello? Ever hear of a pair of wedges? But then again, who was I to judge? I just freaked out over the thought of having bad breath and I don’t even breathe!

  “Good news,” Thomas said, snapping his phone shut.

  “I could use some.”

  “Looks like all the other half-bloods should be here within the hour, with luggage. I don’t know what the deal was with Lucy and Angie but it seems like they were the only problem. I’m still checking into why they were taken into custody to begin with, I should get some answers soon.”

  “Well, I guess that’s good news. I sent Piper out to buy them some unmentionables, but they’ll need real clothes. I think I know just the person to help me out.”

  As I walked toward the living room, Thomas stepped behind me, curious as to my plan. I phoned the Tribunal Offices and Mrs. Durham answered.

  “Tribunal,” she answered in a very professional way.

  “Hey Margaret, it’s me, Colby.”

  I could feel the deep freeze through the phone. Did I mention Mrs. Durham hated to be called by her first name? Oh yeah, almost as much as she hated me.

  “He’s not taking any calls right now,” she said very coolly.

  I rolled my eyes in response, but remembered she couldn’t see me. She was always telling me that Mr. Holloway was unavailable.

  “No problem. Look, I have a problem over here that I need fixed.” I thought I would start out taking the high road, well, except for the fact that I tried to get her goat right out of the gate by calling her Margaret.

  “So,” she drawled.

  I gritted my teeth. “Soooo, I thought you might have the power to help me out. I mean, I know Mr. Holloway will do it for me but since his time is so valuable and all …” Did I mention that Mrs. Durham considered herself the gatekeeper to the top three vampires in the Tribunal? She was all about making herself indispensable.

  “What do you need?” She was back to being the crisp professional.

  “Well, I have a couple of sorority members that lost their luggage in transport and are going to need the works. So, we need an evening at Nordstrom or something. Tribunal footing the bill, of course.”

  “What?!” Ol’ Margaret hated me for two reasons. One, Mr. Holloway, who was one of the three vampires in the Tribunal, always helped me out and that bugged her. But what bugged her more was the fact that I was a half-blood allowed to live.

  “Yeah, I know we have one or two Undead on the board over there, so we need the place opened an extra hour so my gals can pick up the essentials.”

  “Absolutely not,” she practically screeched.

  “Oh yeah,” I continued as though she hadn’t said a word, “they’re going to need a shopping chaperone as well. Someone who takes care of the billing details. Only that person would really know who bought what so they would pretty much have a free reign shopping as well.”

  There was a long pause at the other end of the line. Oh yeah, she didn’t wear St. John’s knit suits with Beverly Feldman shoes and not recognize the opportunity of a lifetime dumped into her lap. It might go against the grain to help out half-bloods but she could pick up what she wanted in the process, so what was a little greasing the wheels between enemies?

  “Fine. I’ll do it. But only this once. I’ll set it up for the end of next week.”

  “Set it up for tomorrow night. I’ll have them meet you at the concierge service desk at closing. Thank you, Margaret.”

  I heard the decisive click of being hung up on and then the loud buzzing of the dial tone, trying its best to sound rude as well. I had to admit that Margaret Durham brought out the worst in me. It was childish to treat her like that but I’d spent the summer playing it nice, trying to get her to like me, and in return she kept me waiting for hours when I had an appointment with Mr. Holloway and she deliberately messed up the construction time lines so the house took twice as long to complete. She was a bigot to the bone and I decided I wasn’t going to let her yank my chain anymore.

  “Mrs. Durham is not a vampire you want as an enemy. She holds a position of power with the Tribunal,” Thomas tried to warn me.

  “Dude, she answers their phones. She’s not all that. Anyway, Mr. Holloway isn’t going to let her get away with harming me or this project,” I assured him haughtily.

  “Why is that, exactly?” Thomas prodded, not for the first time.

  I didn’t like this part. The part in our relationship where I kept secrets from Thomas. I mean, there are secrets, like how much you really weigh, and secrets, like I killed Holloway’s rogue vampire son and now I’d kind of taken his place in the family. No one knew that Charles Winthrop, the rogue vampire who changed me into an Undead, was really the son of Tribunal leader C.W. Holloway. Well, almost no one. I kept his secret and he created the half-blood training and reintroduction into vampire society program.

  “Guess he just feels bad for persecuting my people for hundreds of years.” I gave Thomas my best innocent smile and he grunted at me. I don’t think he was buying it but he could hardly accuse me of lying about the intentions of the leader of our vampire society, now could he?

  It was at that moment that the front doorbell rang. And rang again. And rang yet again before I could even get the ten feet to the door. Sheesh, hold your horses already.

  I opened the door, ready to chew out the overambitious doorbell ringer when the sight that greeted me actually struck me speechless. And I can tell you that rarely, if ever, happens.

  On the porch sat a dozen or so suitcases, trunks, hatboxes and totes practically over-flowing with stuff. On the curb was a—could it be? Yes it was—a white limousine with dignitary flags flapping in the night breeze.

  I counted at least four men scrambling to remove even more stuff from the car and helping someone onto the sunporch. Thomas stood behind me and I felt him shudder at the amount of luggage our new resident had brought.

  “Ileana Margaret Mary Mircea Romanav,” Thomas whispered in my ear.

  “Is that your idea of sweet talk?” I asked him, half-joking.

  “Uh, no. That’s the name of your new guest. She is part British, part Romanian and it appears she is also part of the royal family.”

  “You know, when the Tribunal sent the message out that we
would train other clans’ half-bloods I didn’t think Romania would crate up one of their nobility and ship them to us.”

  Thomas nodded in agreement. It was very odd indeed. It didn’t look as though Ms. Romanav wanted for any material comforts. Compared to how Lucy and Angie arrived, that had my half-blood senses tingling. Something was not right here.

  We didn’t have time for any more discussion as the person in question sashayed up the concrete steps and announced herself.

  “I am Ileana Romanav. Who is in charge here?” Her gaze swept past me in immediate dismissal and landed on Thomas. When her face softened into charmed delight it took all my self-control not to go medieval on her noble self.

  “I am.” I stepped forward to shake her hand, which she didn’t immediately take because she seemed unable to comprehend that Thomas was not introducing himself and welcoming her inside.

  I stood there, with my hand extended for what seemed like eternity. I repeated, loudly, “I am. Welcome to Psi Phi House, Ileana. My name is Colby Blanchard and this is my boyfriend, Thomas.”

  She seemed to snap out of her daze at the mention of “boyfriend” and looked at me once again. This time taking a moment to really see me.

  Sure, my hair was blonde and straight, stopping just past my shoulders and her hair was a honey gold with spiral curls that seemed to go on forever. I can say that I didn’t feel intimidated by her porcelain pale skin, or her Mediterranean green eyes, which I doubted had anything to do with colored contacts. Nope, I’m sure she was checking me out and wishing she had a few freckles to break up the monotony of a flawless complexion and admiring my glowing yellow eyes. Okay, who am I kidding? She was fab and I felt drab. Gee, I hated her already.

  She stared at my hand as though I were offering a snake for inspection.

  “I see.” She gave a tight little smile. “This trip has simply exhausted me, could you kindly show me to my suite?”

  “Suite?” I asked, pulling my hand back in distracted confusion. Wow, the luggage just kept coming out of the back of the car. It reminded me of the scene in Mary Poppins when Julie Andrews kept pulling limitless things from her amazing carpetbag.