by Lisa Carter
Margaret Davenport steered her toward a dressing room. “I was afraid you’d gone into labor.”
Catching her eye from across the room, Ryan went into a lopsided grin. Oh, how she liked the way he smiled at her. Her equilibrium went into a nosedive.
Everyone in the Living Nativity took their places outside. Two pint-size shepherds—Izzie Clark and Max Scott—guarded a tiny flock. Their excitement was palpable.
Breaking from the biblical timeline, magi in satin turbans with fake jewels carried gifts for the Christ Child. The foil-wrapped boxes shimmered in the uplighting of the gazebo. One of the kings was Gray Montgomery. And in filmy white layers of angelic splendor, Jade Collier perched on a raised platform beside the makeshift stable.
Anna settled on a wooden stool inside the gazebo. Dressed in his robe, Ryan held a crooked staff. The manger—with a swaddled baby doll—lay between them.
“The scruffy look adds just the right touch.”
He pursed his lips. “Why am I not sure if I’ve been complimented or insulted?”
She adjusted the folds of the muslin shift. A small heater kept the gazebo warm on the chilly night. “It’s a compliment. Tessa has you outfitted so authentically you look like you really could be Joseph.”
Anna wished Ryan gave himself more credit. He was the kindest, most generous, man she’d ever known. And considering her stalwart band of law enforcement/patriotic male family members, that was saying a lot. But it was true.
The growing line of cars snaked slowly past the square for a gander at one of Kiptohanock’s most enduring traditions. Mounted speakers played sacred carols, one after the other.
She imagined bringing Ruby to the Living Nativity next year. Other images raced through her mind. Like walking barefoot on the beach when the weather warmed. Or catching fireflies in mason jars in the summer.
And on the edges of those golden dreams, there was always a handsome teacher. Dare she dream of more for herself and Ruby?
But what about Ryan and his dreams? He’d worked so hard to restart his career. He’d sacrificed so much for his family. Wasn’t it his turn now to have his dreams come true?
He rubbed his hand across his beard stubble. “I’m thinking I should probably shave this off before I return to the lab.”
“No, don’t!”
His eyes widened.
“I mean, I don’t think you need to do that.” She blushed. “I like you the way you are.”
He smiled, a slow upturn of his lips. “Thank you, Anna.”
She swallowed. Though quiet, he was a man of great character. Who loved deeply and totally and forever. Could such a love be hers? Is that what she wanted?
The stream of visitors was steady for the next two hours. She, the demure mother. Ryan, her strong, stalwart champion. Real-life typecasting.
But she couldn’t keep her eyes off his face in the glow of the spotlight. Memorizing every line, plane and angle. What was happening to her? She struggled to control her breathing. He would leave Kiptohanock eventually. And she was staying. What possible future could there be for them?
At the end of the evening, the players dispersed. Another successful Living Nativity. Changing into regular attire, she found Ryan waiting, wearing his glasses once again.
“I told Tess I’d lock up.”
He walked Anna to her car. Except for the shining star upon the gazebo, the square was bathed in darkness.
Ryan followed the direction of her gaze. “It’s on a timer. It’ll turn off by itself. No worries.”
Easier said than done when it came to life. The insidious fears returned. Should she tell him of her growing feelings? And if Ryan gave up his career goals for her, would someday he come to resent her or worse, resent her child?
If she truly loved Ryan—her dearest friend—she should let him go. To a life that wouldn’t include her or Ruby.
“What’s wrong?” Always so attuned to every nuance of her feelings, his eyes sharpened. “Are you feeling okay?”
And suppose she convinced him to stay and she lost him anyway? Unshed tears pricked her eyelids. “I—”
“What is it?”
Suddenly, she wanted nothing so much in the world except to feel his lips on hers. She used to daydream in high school that one day he’d kiss her. And tired of waiting, she wrapped her hands around the nape of his neck.
“What are you doing, Anna?”
She tugged his face closer. “Kiss me, Ryan.” His mouth was now only inches from hers. “Please. Just kiss me.”
His hands, so long-fingered and sturdy, splayed around her upper arms. “Anna...” His chest heaved as if he was having as much trouble breathing as she.
Anna’s lips parted.
He kissed one corner of her mouth, but stopped. “Are you sure?”
Anna stood on tiptoe. “I’m sure.”
Ryan’s blue-green eyes darkened to unfathomable depths. Something seemed to break inside him. The pressure of his fingers around her arms tightened. He covered her lips with his.
Her senses swam. Her knees almost buckled. If he hadn’t been holding her up, she might’ve fallen. But too soon, he stepped back.
“Wow,” she murmured, distracted by the spicy male scent of him.
A bemused smile played across his lips. “I’m following you home, Anna, to make sure that clunker of yours gets there safely. See you tomorrow?”
She shook her head, trying to focus. “Tomorrow?”
“The caroling party.”
Oh, yeah. That. She nodded.
He held the door for her. “Until then. I can hardly wait.”
Neither could she.
* * *
Working in the barn on Friday afternoon, Ryan replayed the kiss from last night in his mind. What was Anna thinking? Feeling? Was it possible she wanted a future with him?
He loosened the last of the four bolts, disengaging the wheels from the undercarriage of the sleigh. The forecasters were calling for a light dusting this week.
On the off chance the Eastern Shore actually did manage a white Christmas, he was readying the sleigh for snow. He ran his hand along the length of the sleek runner.
Captivated by the notion of gliding across snowy fields under a moonlit, starry night with Anna in the sleigh. Another opportunity to explore their burgeoning relationship.
Would delaying his departure allow time for Anna’s love to awaken for him? His heart turned over in his chest at the lingering memory of their first kiss. Or had love already awakened?
He glanced at the clock. Why wait until the caroling party? Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. He’d go over there right now and surprise her with an early Christmas gift.
Ryan could no longer deny how he felt about Anna. There could be no half-hearted measures involving his feelings for her. Nor in his desire to share a life with her and Ruby. He loved Anna. So much. And Ruby, too.
They, not a laboratory, were everything to him. Why was he holding back? His heart filled with the certainty at the rightness of it all. He didn’t want to leave his family. Or Anna and the child they’d raise together. He could make a real difference with children like Maria, Oscar and Zander.
He’d get an early start on showering Anna with what she meant to him. Giving her a small token of the immense gift she was to him. She might not be ready to admit her feelings for him yet. But he’d seen it in her eyes when they kissed.
Ryan loved Anna. Totally. Completely. Forever.
Because he couldn’t seem to contain the happiness spilling out of his heart, he borrowed Luke’s truck and lowered the wooden cradle into the bed of the Chevy.
At the trailer, with the cradle at his feet, Ryan lifted his hand to knock. The door flew open. And there she stood.
She appeared pleased to see him, a lig
ht in her eyes. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
His stomach muscles tightened. “If you’re busy, I’ll leave.”
“Don’t leave.” Her hand touched his sleeve as if to hold him there. “Come inside. Please.”
“I have something for you.” He hefted the cradle in his arms. “Something for the baby actually.”
She put her hand over her throat. “You made this for Ruby?”
A sheen of tears welled in her eyes. He set the cradle beside the Christmas tree.
Her finger traced the detail of the woodwork he’d carved into the sides. Thanking him, Anna bobbed in her stocking feet—reindeer socks today.
And he caught her in his arms. Her eyes shining, she kissed him. A kiss as tender as their first. An unspoken promise of more. So much more. A future filled with love and hope.
“Oh, Ryan.” Her voice quivered. “How much I—” She pressed her lips together.
Say it, Anna. But she withdrew from his embrace. Leaving his arms feeling empty.
But one day, he promised himself, she wouldn’t stop to second-guess her feelings. She’d just love him. Until then...he needed to be patient.
He forced his heartbeat to steady. “I’d better get back. Don’t want Luke to dock my pay.”
She planted a quick kiss on his cheek.
Dazed, he lifted his hand to touch the spot where the sweetness of her mouth lingered on his skin. “What was that for?”
“One for the road.” She hung on the door. “Until tonight.”
Chapter Sixteen
Friday night, Anna drove to meet the other carolers. The memory of Ryan’s swoon-worthy kiss that afternoon was dancing around in her head. The latest in a growing number of earth-shattering moments. All those years ago, her mother had been correct. A girl had to watch out for strong, silent types like Ryan Savage.
She parked next to the seawall where she could hear the waves lapping against the shoreline below. Her mind flitted to Ryan. Her heart thumped in her chest. Ryan was like still waters and yet somehow altogether more. Like the unrelenting tide of an incoming tsunami.
Anna put her hand on her burning cheek. Her palm felt cold against her skin.
He swept Anna off her feet with the feelings he evoked within her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy. He unraveled everything she’d believed she’d known and understood and planned. He unraveled her. Ryan would be so easy to love.
If she already didn’t. Her breath hitched. Was it true?
Why now? Had the past been only a precursor? So when they came together again, they could more fully appreciate what truly mattered?
Only the stars winked in the indigo twilight above the church steeple. She moved toward the crowd gathered on the church lawn. Her heart lurched as Ryan’s gaze locked onto hers.
She slipped through the throng, her greetings on autopilot. In a straight trajectory to the one person who’d made Christmas come alive for her this year. Who’d made her come alive again. His sisters hugged her.
Ryan smiled. “I keep forgetting to ask how the doctor’s appointment went?”
Was this possible? Could it be God meant for her to find happiness again? That despite everything, God wanted to give her far more than she’d ever dared to dream?
She gave Ryan a quick medical update as the carolers divided into smaller groups. She and Ryan found themselves with Evy, his sisters and a few Coastie families. Their group would visit the homes around the square.
The carolers fanned out. Some ventured out to outlying areas like the Duer inn or Pauline Crockett’s. Another group headed for the hospital. Still another group had shut-ins on their list. Later, the carolers would reconvene at Margaret Davenport’s lavish home on the outskirts of town for hot chocolate.
Anna suspected a conspiracy of Savages and Pruitts to ensure she’d have plenty of rest stops. Because on the lawn at each house, an empty chair awaited her.
“You and I are going to take a longer break once we reach your house.” His breath warmed her cheek. “And we need to talk.” He twined his fingers into hers.
Her heart started to pound. “About?”
Ryan’s lips curved. “About us. About the future. I’ve made another decision.”
Her mouth went dry. Was he imagining a future that included her and Ruby? Had he decided to stay for good?
Ryan patted her stomach. “I’m going to have to come up with another fruit name for the little Christmas baby.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, really, although you don’t make it easy.” He made a face. “Not much rhymes with Ruby.”
She laughed.
He leaned his mouth close to her abdomen. “How does Ruby Red Grapefruit sound to you, little one?”
Movement rippled across the top of her belly. His face transformed with wonder. Ruby most definitely recognized his voice.
“Grapefruit?” Anna laughed. “You are so crazy.”
He touched the tip of her nose. “Nippy tonight, isn’t it? We better get you inside.”
She nodded, her heart full. “Next stop, the Pruitts.”
Her arm inserted into the crook of his elbow, they strolled past houses lit with neon Santas, reindeer and the ever-optimistic Frosty. Reaching the family home, Evy’s clear soprano started them off with “Joy to the World.” Anna sang alto harmony to Ryan’s baritone.
Midverse, the door opened, and light spilled onto the carolers. Silhouetted by the interior lights, she recognized her brothers’ broad shoulders as they stepped onto the porch.
The carolers had segued to “Away in a Manger” when two other people moved into the doorway. Someone burlier than her brothers. And a shorter, more feminine form beside him. Her throat closed.
Continuing to sing, Ryan glanced at her. She pressed her lips together. Oh, no. Not now. Not this way.
But she had only herself to blame. The time for reckoning had come. Her parents stepped into the circle of light. Time had run out for Anna to make things right.
* * *
In the midst of the swelling chorus of voices, Anna let go of his hand. When Evy stopped singing, too, Ryan’s gaze shifted to the four people on the porch. And then he understood.
Anna did that protective thing with her hands. One hand on top of her bump, the other cupped the bottom. As if framing her child.
Her father, ex–deputy sheriff Charles Everett Pruitt, Junior, moved to the edge of the top step. The wooden planks creaked. Even in the dim glow of the streetlight, Ryan could tell her father was incensed. Gail Pruitt’s eyes were red-rimmed. Their anger and hurt disbelief knifed through Ryan.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Pruitt,” Tessa called.
Evy’s coat brushed against him. “Should I get the innocent bystanders away from this train wreck? Or stay here to have your back?”
Justine waved. “Anna didn’t tell us you’d be home for Christmas.”
Everett Pruitt’s face darkened. “Lot of that going around, I hear. The not-telling part.”
The chatter faded. An awkward silence reigned. Justine darted an uncertain look at Ryan.
“It might be better, Evy—” Anna sucked in a breath “—if you took the group to the next stop.”
Evy bit her lip.
“Please...” Anna whispered.
“Everyone?” Evy’s voice took on a crisp, forcibly cheerful librarian tone. “We’d better get going to Margaret’s house.”
Ryan’s sisters didn’t budge.
“What’s going on, Ryan?”
“What’s wrong?”
He nudged his chin to the sidewalk. “It’s okay. Go ahead.” They left him with reluctance.
“Come inside so we can talk, Anna.” Gail Pruitt sounded as if she might burst into
tears.
“Mom...” She reached for her mother.
“Go inside the house, Gail.” Her father turned the full force of his glare on his daughter.
Fists clenched, Ryan stiffened.
Anna’s mother stumbled across the threshold. Will went in after her. Charlie and their father remained.
Ryan helped Anna negotiate the steps. Everett Pruitt took one look at Ryan’s hand on his daughter’s arm and spun on his heel, disappearing inside.
Charlie waited at the door. “I’m sorry, Anna. They just showed up. No warning.”
Moistening her lips, she crossed over the threshold. “The ambush.”
“I tried calling your cell, but—”
“But I turned it off when the caroling began.” She took a shuddering breath. “This isn’t your fault, Charlie.” Her voice broke. “It’s mine.”
Will stepped forward. “And when Mom started to cry...” He hunched his shoulders. “I told them about the IVFs and Mateo’s wishes.”
Gail Pruitt swallowed. “Why didn’t you tell us, Anna?”
Everett shook his head. “Did you think we’d be too stupid to notice you had a baby when we got back from visiting Jaxon?”
“No,” she whispered. “I’m the one who’s stupid for not telling you before you found out the wrong way.”
Everett Pruitt scowled. “Are you telling me that you and Mateo hatched this plot to keep us in the dark over three years ago?”
“It was me. Not Mateo. We believed he would recover, and we would raise this child together.” Her mouth trembled. “It didn’t turn out the way we hoped.”
“Why now?” Everett rocked on his heels. “Why upend your life after all this time?”
Gail Pruitt’s face sagged. “When I think about what you endured alone... Why didn’t you tell us, Anna?”
“Because she didn’t trust us.” Her father’s mouth tightened. “She didn’t trust her own parents with the second most important decision of her life. Like she didn’t trust us enough to tell us before she ran off to get married.”
