With Every Heartbeat

by Linda Kage

  So he threw his head back and gave an exhausted sigh. “Believe it or not, I like Blondie exactly how she is. All sweet, and innocent, and untouched. But Cora wasn’t going to let up until she found someone to take your girl out. And you and I both know someone else would probably try to get into her panties. So...I volunteered.”

  I shook my head. This just wasn’t anything Ten would do. I couldn’t compute or make any sense of it. “What?” I finally said. “Does this mean you’re not going to try to, you know...?”

  As I waved a hand, he lifted an eyebrow. “Get into her panties?”

  I curled my lip into a snarl as I growled, “Yes.”

  “Nope. I am not.” When I continued to stare at him, letting him know I didn’t trust him, his face went serious. He patted my chest. “I’m doing this for you, Ham.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  With another long, drawn-out sigh, he closed his eyes. “One of these days, hopefully one of these days soon, you’re going to realize you don’t have to stay with a girl just because she was the first person you fucked. Putting your dick into Cora didn’t commit you to her for the rest of your life, man. And when you catch on and figure out you’re allowed move on and be with a girl you actually like, I want her to be nice and preserved for you.”

  I blinked, stunned senseless by what he’d just said. There was so much in there I wanted to dispute, I wasn’t even sure where to start.

  I held up a finger. “First of all, Cora and I are not breaking up. And I’m not with her because she was my...I’m with her because I love her and I want to be with her. Okay? I’m not planning on straying...especially with her roommate. Are we perfectly clear?”

  “No.” Ten made a face. “We are perfectly not clear. How could you claim to love Cora? You admitted to me just last week that she’s hiding something from you. She doesn’t go to your football games. Plus you’re dreaming about—”

  “Just stop.” I held up a hand, getting upset. “No one is perfect. I certainly wouldn’t be your roommate if I couldn’t handle a few flaws. Cora isn’t required to like football, and she’s allowed to have her privacy. She accepts me as I am, and that is something I thought I’d never find.”

  Ten lifted an eyebrow. “Accepts you?” he repeated slowly. “What the hell? You’re not some freak show just wandering around, waiting for some benevolent soul to finally take you in.”

  “You know what I mean.” I glanced away, feeling stupid. “I’m not normal. I’m not like...you.”

  Unable to hide his shock, Ten pulled back and shook his head. “Why the fuck would you want to be like me? Hell, I don’t even want to be like me half the time. And I am most definitely not normal.”

  “But you’re...you...” Feeling my stutter approach, I gritted my teeth, hating all my ineptitudes. “You can talk to people,” I finally pushed out.

  My roommate snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, what a talent. I can piss off pretty much everyone I talk to, too.”

  But I just stared at him, because to me...being able to socialize was a talent.

  With a sigh, he slumped his shoulders. “Okay, fine. You’re quiet. You’re introverted. You’re too nice to be rude to anyone. You open yourself up and are willing to trust more than just about anyone I know. Being as sensitive as you are means you have a bigger heart. And if I ever see you try to change and harden that heart of yours, I’m going to throat punch you. Don’t be ashamed of being a big, soft teddy bear, Ham. The world needs more people like you, otherwise it’d just go to shit. Now...” He stepped back and spread his hands. “Can we go pick up our dates, or do you want to hold hands, sing a couple rounds of “Kumbaya,” and dig into our feelings some more?”

  I frowned and shook my head. “You’re the one who started this conversation.”

  “Yeah, well...I must be on crack. Let’s go already.”

  He headed for the door and I reluctantly followed.

  We didn’t talk on the ride over. I was afraid to say much of anything else. I think Ten was in the mood to set me over the edge for some reason, because he started up again as soon as we parked in Chateau Rivera’s parking garage.

  “So...if Blondie looks really good, you’re not going to kill me if I go for a goodnight kiss, are you? I won’t even use tongue. Okay, maybe a little tongue.”

  I sent him a dry look and parked the truck. He snickered and stepped out, leaving me to follow. “Didn’t think so.”

  I wanted to smart back something like, “I thought you wanted to keep her preserved for me,” but that would make it sound like I actually wanted him to, when...okay, the thought of Zoey dating someone—anyone—didn’t sit well with me. Just thinking about someone else pressing his mouth to hers—

  Crap, I forgot where I was going with this line of thinking. Ten had scattered my brain with that confusing heart-to-heart he’d pushed on me before coming here. He was making me think about Zoey again.

  I kind of hated him right now.

  “Think she’ll be wearing a dress or pants?” Ten asked when we stepped into the elevator.

  I glanced over at him. “Cora?”

  He sniffed and glowered back. “My date, asshole. Why would I care what yours is wearing?” Then he grinned to himself and looked up at the number as we rose to the eighth floor. “I bet Cora bullied her into a skirt. Hopefully a short skirt. Blondie does have some nice legs.”

  I rolled my jaw and cracked my knuckles, commanding myself not to respond.

  As soon as the elevator stopped and the doors opened, I shot out into the hall...mostly to keep myself from maiming my roommate. What was worse, I heard the jerk laughing softly behind me.

  More than ready to get this night over with, I stormed to 8E and knocked once before letting myself inside. I needed a big dose of Cora’s bubbling smile right now. I strode down the hall toward her room, leaving Ten to let himself inside.

  Cora was in her room, but she wasn’t alone.

  Ten had been right. Cora had gotten Zoey into one of her dresses. And it had a short skirt. It wasn’t tight like Cora’s, but fluttered around her thighs in a loose skirt that would flare out into a bell if she twirled. Stalled just outside the doorway, I looked in at the two girls whose backs were toward me as Cora attached a necklace around Zoey’s neck. It was long and disappeared down into her cleavage.

  She looked good. They both looked good. I started to speak, make my presence known, but then Cora said something that had the words evaporating in my throat.

  “You’re so lucky to be getting Ten tonight.”

  I froze, not sure what to do. What to think.

  Zoey jerked at the comment and twisted to look into Cora’s face. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know.” Cora shrugged. “He’s just...social, you know. Quinn can be cute with his country-bumpkin ways, but Ten’s just a little more world-savvy, and he can...I mean, I bet he can dirty talk in bed like you wouldn’t believe.”

  I turned away blindly, unable to believe she was comparing me to Ten...and finding me lacking. I’d always thought she liked me the way I was, that she accepted my...my country bumpkin ways. I didn’t need her to love everything about me, but...I don’t know.

  I was still too hurt and reeling to think properly.

  I started to stride back down the hall but I realized Ten was standing at the end, watching me. His jaw was hard, and his eyes narrowed. He’d heard everything I’d just heard...because I really needed my humiliation to be complete right now.

  “Hey!” he called loudly, his voice arrogant. I thought he was talking to me for a second, until he added, “We’re here. You hens ready to go or what?”

  Zoey was the first to careen through the doorway, moving a little too fast. She skidded to a halt when she saw me, her eyes wide and guilty.

  I don’t know why she felt guilty. She hadn’t been the one talking smack about her own boyfriend, finding him lacking, and telling her roommate she was lucky because she didn’t have to be
my date for the evening.

  Cora breezed out of the bedroom behind her. When she saw me, her face lit up...just as it always did. I stared at her, wondering how she could smile at me as if I mattered, as if she didn’t wish I was more outgoing and experienced. It made me wonder if every smile she’d ever given me had been so false.

  “Ooh, you look so handsome,” she said, coming up to me and looping her arm through mine before kissing my cheek.

  I remained stiff, unable to relax or fake my own smile. But I let her press her mouth to my cheek and I didn’t brush her away. I quietly asked, “Are you ready?”

  My gaze moved to Zoey, who immediately bobbed her head, her eyes wide and worried. And for once in her life, Cora didn’t have to “change” her clothes. I made no comment about that, when on any other night, I would’ve feigned a heart attack because she was actually ready on time. I simply took her hand and led her from her apartment.

  As Quinn swept Cora away, I shuddered out a breath and glanced at Ten. He stared after them as they passed and then turned to me, only to wiggle his eyebrows. “Thank God I got the sweet, pretty one for the night, huh?”

  His words let me know he’d heard everything Cora had just said, comparing him to Quinn.

  Setting my hand against my roiling stomach, I glanced past him toward Quinn and Cora. When they were far enough away that they couldn’t hear me, I asked, “He heard, didn’t he?”

  Ten’s eyes went hard as his teeth flashed. “Oh yeah.”

  I sucked in a breath. Oh God. “Is he okay?”

  “What do you think?” Ten lifted an eyebrow, his gaze dry and yet ticked off.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I admitted.

  “You and me both, Blondie.” He took my elbow and led me from the apartment. “Let’s just do this already.”

  I hated knowing Quinn was hurting as much as I hated not being able to do anything about it, unless I wanted to publicly call Cora out on it, which totally wasn’t my style. Besides, as vindictive as she’d been lately, she’d probably announce to the world—or more specifically, to Quinn—about my embarrassing crush on him. Since I didn’t want that getting out, I felt trapped and forced to watch him suffer.

  Tonight was going to be awful. I just knew it. It was already starting all wrong. Quinn was upset, Cora was clearly in denial, and Ten wasn’t his usual cheerful yet annoying self. I just wished he’d say something crude and totally inappropriate to put me—or more specifically Quinn—at ease.

  We ended up taking Cora’s car. Quinn drove, Cora took the front passenger seat, and Ten didn’t even make a crack about sitting in the back alone with me.

  In fact, he slumped down on his side of the car, closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

  Cora chattered and talked as if nothing whatsoever was wrong. I watched Quinn, but other than saying nothing—which wasn’t out of character for him in the least—he didn’t act as if anything was bothering him.

  “I think tonight’s going to be so much fun.” Cora twisted in her seat to grin at me. “Wouldn’t it be cool if two roommates started dating two roommates? We could be an awesome foursome.”

  Not bothering to open his eyes, Ten muttered a very dry, “Yeah. That’d be so awesome.” Then he leaned toward me and quietly murmured, “No offense, but that never in hell is going to happen. I don’t do virgins, because technically, no one does virgins, hence the whole virgin status thing.”

  I leaned his way as well, whispering back, “No offense, but I don’t really do man whores either.”

  He opened his eyes and grinned. “Then I guess we’re good.” He offered me a fist bump. When I clanged my knuckles against his, he whispered, “This would probably be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, except I don’t make friends with chicks, so...I’ll probably never talk to you again after tonight.”

  “That’s okay. I don’t like your crude jokes anyway.”

  He laughed outright, which caused Cora to turn around curiously and Quinn to lift his gaze to the rearview mirror.

  Ten slapped the back of Quinn’s seat. “Looks like I got the more entertaining date, thank God.”

  I was tempted to reach out and pinch him for stirring that pot. But it did cause Cora to narrow her eyes, which didn’t break my heart any. I couldn’t believe she was being so delusional as to think Quinn hadn’t heard her comparison of him and Ten.

  “As if anyone would want to entertain you? It’d take a freak to match your awful sense of humor.”

  Quinn glanced at her sharply. “Did you just call Zoey a freak?”

  He’d been so stony and silent after she’d insulted him, but now that my head was on the chopping block, he was ready to jump to my defense. My heart ached, and soared, and then ached some more.

  Cora fumbled over her words. “What. No! Of course not.” She glanced back at me. “You know I didn’t mean it that way, right?”

  I wished I could say something witty and scathing to help side with Quinn and let her know I was still upset with her for what she’d said about him, but I had nothing. I hated confrontations, and I’d never be able to have one around more than two people. “Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled and lowered my gaze.

  “I don’t think you’re freakish,” Ten spoke up. “In fact, I think you look amazing tonight, like someone’s wet dream come true.”

  Quinn stomped on the break when he almost drove through a red light. Then he whipped his gaze around to glare at his roommate. When Ten merely grinned back, I cleared my throat.

  “Um...thanks?” Though I wasn’t sure if I was that grateful for such a compliment.

  The light turned green.

  Quinn hit the gas.

  And no one else spoke until we reached the bar.

  The night seemed to be getting worse by the second. Quinn and Cora didn’t bother to hold hands as the four of us walked to the front doors, where the bouncer recognized Quinn and Ten and let the four of us in without carding or charging us.

  Since Asher had been hired at Forbidden, he’d set up all kinds of musical entertainment. Tonight was supposedly their first night to have karaoke. So as soon as we stepped through the doorway, some guy on stage began an awful rendition of Alicia Keys’ “Fallen.”

  “Oh my God. Kill me now.” Ten groaned and elbowed Quinn. “Remind me to never work on karaoke night.”

  “Ooh, there’s Rachel,” Cora announced, bouncing on her toes. “Let’s go sit with them.”

  But Ten braked. “Over my dead fucking body. That chick annoys the hell out of me.”

  Cora scowled at him. Then she glanced at Quinn as if silently asking him to step in and side with her.

  “Why don’t you go over and say hi?” he suggested. “We’ll find a table.”

  Her mouth fell open. I think this must’ve been the first time he hadn’t given her what she wanted.

  I was tempted to cheer for him and root him on, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I should be Switzerland.

  I totally wasn’t Switzerland.

  “There’s an open table,” Ten announced, nodding toward a small round tall table that actually had two guys sitting at it.

  “But—” I started, only to stop when he approached the men and told them we needed their seats.

  My jaw dropped as they actually obeyed and left. They even apologized to me for sitting there first. I gazed after them before looking up at Ten.

  “They’re freshmen football players,” he explained.

  I shook my head but sat in the chair across from Quinn so I’d be by Cora and Ten. But Ten caught my arm and shook his head. “Hell no, honey. I don’t sit by other dudes if I don’t have to.”

  He tugged me out of my chair, stole it for himself, and forced me to sit between him and Quinn. As Ten lifted his hand to flag down a waitress, I glanced at Quinn. He was waving a hello to Noel and Asher at the bar, who both waved back, and then he turned to catch me watching him.

  His eyes saddened, but he forced a smile. Then he glanced toward Cora
where she was sitting with her friends and chattering away. His sad, forced smile died completely.

  I glanced at my hands in my lap and picked at the blue fingernail polish Cora had put on me, suddenly wishing Caroline were here. Or Reese and her cousin Eva. Anyone to spruce up the dismal start of this agonizing double date.

  “Bottoms up,” Ten announced, startling me as he took a handful of drinks from the waitress who’d arrived with them.

  Quinn scowled at the glass his roommate slid in front of him and lifted his face to transfer his frown to Ten. “This is alcohol.”

  “I know.” Ten rolled his eyes. “You’re drinking tonight. I’ve even decided to play DD so both of you,” he included me in his glance as he nudged a glass toward me, “can relax and just...enjoy the evening.”

  Quinn snorted and glanced away, letting him know that wasn’t going to happen no matter how much he drank.

  I tucked my hair behind my ear and eyed my own drink before admitting, “I’ve never drank before.”

  “Neither have I,” Quinn added, “and I’m not starting tonight.”

  “Yes, you are,” Ten ground out. “I swear, your asshole’s probably puckered so tight right now you’ve gone and made yourself constipated. That cannot be good for you. Drink. Relax. Have fun.”

  I leaned in toward Ten and quietly murmured, “But his mom was an abusive alcoholic.”

  He blinked at me, and I could tell from the surprise on his face, this was news to him. But then he recovered and announced, “Well, my dad’s a hell of a nice guy, and my mom hasn’t sworn a day in her life.” Then he shrugged. “We don’t always take after our parents.”

  Quinn looked at him as if considering his words.

  “Are you sure you’ll stay sober enough to drive?” I asked, feeling the urge to be a little reckless because I wanted Quinn to be able to relax and maybe forget what Cora had done to him...even if it was just for a few hours.

  “Smell.” Ten offered me his cup, so I’d know it was soda pop. But I took my investigation a step farther and took a drink from his cup to taste a sip. Pure Dr. Pepper. Handing it back to him, I smiled my approval.