With Every Heartbeat

by Linda Kage

  “No!” His face turned red before he rolled his eyes and mumbled, “A little.”

  “A little every fucking morning,” I taunted.

  “Aww,” Blondie cooed, touching his arm. “That’s so cute.”

  Ham glanced at her, then quickly ripped his gaze away. “I used to stutter when I was younger. My grandma took me to singing classes to help with it.”

  What? “I had no idea you used to stutter,” I said just as an equally surprised Blondie said, “I’ve never heard you stutter.”

  “Yeah, well.” He rolled his eyes. “The singing actually helped. A lot.”

  Blondie squeezed his bicep. “So, you’ll sing now. Pretty please.”

  He laughed, and a blush tinted his cheeks. “Heck, no.”

  “I’ll sing with you,” she offered, batting her eyelashes and making Ham fall into another one of those staring trances she was so good at putting him under.

  I lifted my eyebrows. “You’ll sing?” I asked. “Do you sing in the shower too, Blondie?”

  She shrugged. “No, but I’m just drunk enough to try anything right now.”

  Oh, that was it. “Do it, Ham,” I urged.

  I had no clue what was emboldening him, but he grabbed her hand and surged to his feet. “Okay, we’re doing it, then. As long as you’ll really sing with me.”

  She nodded. “I said I would.”

  As she followed him toward the stage, I folded my arms over my chest and sat back in my chair, ready to enjoy this show. I even pulled out my phone to take a video for future blackmail against Hamilton.

  Once the man before them wrapped up his song—thank fucking God—Ham and Blondie stepped onto the stage. I wolf-whistled, making Blondie glance my way and blush. Then she grabbed Hamilton’s hand and they stepped in front of the mic together.

  As the beginning chords started, she leaned in and called, “Cora! This one’s for you.”

  I frowned. That bitch shouldn’t have had any part of their song. But from across the room, Cora turned and gaped up at the stage where her boyfriend and roommate were standing together and swaying lightly to the beginning chords. Then Hamilton leaned in and started singing. And shit, he was good. Really good.

  Cora stood up and covered her mouth with her hands as she listened to him. Even Hart came out from behind the bar where he was working to listen. He paused by my table and asked, “What the hell? I didn’t know Quinn could sing.”

  “Join the club.”

  Then Blondie joined in at the chorus. I whistled again because she wasn’t half bad. She and Ham turned to watch each other as they sang, and I couldn’t contain my grin.

  They wanted each other so bad.

  I watched Cora for her reaction to their sizzling chemistry, but I don’t think the clueless bitch even noticed. It was more than obvious to me that they were singing to each other...not to her.

  As soon as the song ended, their faces lit up with accomplishment. I think Ham would’ve gone in for a hug, but his girlfriend jumped onto the stage and tackled him, kissing him all over the face before shoving her tongue down his throat.

  Blondie’s face absolutely crumpled.

  Ah, hell.

  I waited until she’d made her way robotically off the stage before I startled the shit out of her by wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “And that, my new chick friend,” I said into her ear, “is what we call majorly fucked up. Her mouth should not be on him right now.”

  She looked up at me, her heart in her eyes. Pity ricocheted through my guts.

  “I thought you didn’t have girls for friends,” she uttered as if in a daze.

  “Well, I’m making an exception for you.” I led her straight up to the bar, where we’d be closer to the alcohol, and I got her rip-roaring drunk.

  She tried to find Quinn in the crowd with her gaze, but his slut girlfriend was still dry-humping him, so I turned Blondie’s attention back to me before she could spot him.

  Half an hour later, I had her back in the employee bathroom, bent over the toilet as I held her hair back and she emptied her stomach.

  “Okay, that one was gross,” I admitted.

  “S-sorry,” she sobbed, just before her stomach rebelled again.

  “Don’t apologize. Just get it all up.”

  So, she did. She spent the next five minutes spewing everything out of her system.

  And this was actually one of the better dates I’d ever been on.

  Reason number one why I didn’t bother to date. Dating sucked ass.

  Fuck ’em and move on, I always said...and was probably going to keep saying, especially since the one girl I might’ve made an exception for was utterly forbidden to me.

  “Thank you,” Blondie said, glancing at me from wet, bloodshot eyes. “You...you’re really not that bad of a guy after all.”

  I groaned and shifted my eyes toward the ceiling. “Yeah, just...promise to never tell anyone that. I have a reputation as a douchebag to uphold.”

  “I promise,” she told me seriously.

  I grinned and shook my head. “You about ready to get off the floor yet?”

  She nodded but didn’t move.

  “Up and at ’em, Blondie.” I stood and reached down for her arm.

  And that’s when Gamble appeared in the doorway.

  “What’s going on?” he asked suspiciously.

  I glanced at Blondie and then the toilet. “What’s it look like is going on?”

  Gam just kept watching as I helped Blondie stand and then held her arm as we made our way into the lounge where I assisted her to the couch, where she slumped down ungracefully.

  “I saw you two head back this way almost half an hour ago.” Gam sent me a stern glance.

  I rolled my eyes. “Well, sorry, but you’re not going to catch us doing anything indecent. I tend to wait until after the drunk chick empties her stomach before I start taking advantage of her. Jesus, man. Really?”

  “I’m just saying...she’s Caroline’s friend. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to her.”

  I knew damn good and well whose friend she was. “Well, as you can see, she’s fine. All her clothes are on, lipstick isn’t smeared, virginity intact. Okay, dad?”

  Gam just scowled at me. “You don’t have to be a prick about it.”

  Sighing, I rubbed my face. “Where’s Ham? We rode here with him tonight. Is he about ready to go or what?”

  With a snort, Gamble shook his head. “I think he’s too busy practically screwing his woman on the dance floor to realize what time it is.”

  Hearing that, Blondie curled into a ball on the couch and proceeded to sob.

  I seared my buddy with a glare. “Way to go, asshole.”

  “What?” He gaped at Blondie as if she was some kind of alien. “What did I say?”

  “Just...” I waved him away. “Go tell Ham we’re ready to leave now, will you?”

  I woke with the headache from hell splitting through the center of my cranium. A whimper later, I squeezed my eyes shut and clutched my temples, wishing to be put out of my misery.

  “Morning, lover,” a voice cooed in my ear and a hand slid up my bare thigh. Cora rubbed against me, her naked breasts crushing my bicep. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

  I tried to unstick my dried tongue from the roof of my mouth. “What...what time is it?”

  “Too late for you to make pancakes, but that’s okay.” Five very greedy fingers curled around my morning wood. “I’d rather have sausage anyway.”

  My eyes nearly crossed as the pain in my head mixed with the pleasure spreading from my groin.

  “You were so amazing last night,” Cora murmured in my ear just before she nipped the lobe with her teeth. “Do you remember how awesome it was?”

  No.

  I blinked up at the ceiling, trying to remember last night at all. But I came up with a big blank nothing. Why couldn’t I remember what had happened?

  “Best night of my entire life.” My girlfriend moan

ed as she pumped me a little faster.

  I reached out and caught her around the waist, discovering she was as naked as I was. She mewed when I slid my hand over her bottom. Then I urged her to slide on top of me, and she was more than willing to climb onto my lap.

  Cora found a condom and was sliding it into place before I could even go searching for one myself. And then she was lowering herself onto me.

  Twenty minutes later, we were both still panting, she was sprawled against my chest, too bonelessly weary to move, and I still couldn’t remember a single detail from the night before.

  “Okay,” I finally admitted. “I don’t remember last night at all.”

  I began to rub her back, hoping she didn’t get upset because whatever had happened last night had set her off this morning until she’d been chanting how much she loved me just five minutes ago when she’d come...for the second time.

  But instead of getting mad, she laughed and rubbed her nose against my throat. “Yeah, you did have a bit much to drink.”

  My eyes opened wide. “I drank?” A sudden vision hit me of downing a big gulp and then laughing at something I said to a girl...except the girl I’d been laughing with hadn’t been Cora. At least, I don’t think it’d been Cora. I swear, it’d been Zoey. But I’d been leaning into her until we were almost touching as I’d laughed, which couldn’t be right.

  “Why was I drinking?”

  “Ten talked you into it, or something. I don’t know.”

  “Ten?” Oh. Right. The double date. I winced, hoping Zoey had fared okay with Ten, since I obviously hadn’t been in the right frame of mind to keep him in line.

  “You and Zoey both got plastered.”

  My eyebrows crinkled. “We did?” Now that just sounded weird.

  Cora started kissing her way down my chest. “Yep. And then you sang to me on the karaoke.”

  My eyes widened. “What?”

  “Then you danced with me until we came home and made love for the rest of the night. I’ve never seen you so insatiable before. It was like you just couldn’t get enough of me.”

  I flushed, wishing I could remember that.

  But then another flashing memory popped into my head. I’d been squeezing my eyes closed as I gasped for breath and pounded hard and without finesse into a woman. I’d been thinking about Zoey, though.

  My gaze sprang guiltily to Cora. I’d been thinking about her roommate while I’d been inside her. That had to be the absolute worst thing I’d ever done. I wanted to apologize and beg her forgiveness, but no way did I want to actually confess to her what I’d done...or why I hadn’t been able to “get enough of her” last night.

  Oh God. I think I needed to throw up.

  “You were, like, the man I always knew you could be.” Cora rolled off me to curl against my side. Gazing lovingly at me, she kept running her hand up and down my chest.

  I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t tell her. There was no point. It’d only hurt her, and I couldn’t take it back now. Wishing I could do something—anything—to make it up to Cora, I rolled toward her and nuzzled my nose into her neck, breathing in her scent and silently apologizing for picturing someone else while I should’ve been concentrating on nothing but her. She purred at my apologetic cuddling and clutched handfuls of my hair.

  “So I’ve been thinking,” she murmured.

  I rolled her onto her back and moved above her to trail the tip of my nose down the slope of her breast. This morning, I swore, I would have nothing but Cora on my mind, nothing but Cora in my heart. Whatever she wanted, I’d make sure she got it. “What’ve you been thinking?”

  “You know the way Noel proposed to Aspen... It was kind of in public, and yet is was behind that bar and hidden behind all the girls sitting up there so no one else but our group could really see what was happening?”

  “Yeah?” I said between batting my tongue against her nipple.

  She arched under me and began to breathe hard as she petted my hair, encouraging me to continue.

  “Okay, well, I was thinking, I’d want something even more public than that. I’d want everyone to see and know how much you loved and adored me.”

  I deserted her nipple and lifted my face to stare into her eyes.

  But had she just said...?

  She grinned up at me and cupped my face. “As much as I want you again, baby, I don’t have time for another round this morning. I have to be out of here within the hour.”

  I frowned. After what she’d just said to me, I was kind of hoping she’d want to spend the entire day together. I didn’t have class, practice, a game, or work...which was rare for me. I was ready to give her everything, especially after she’d just suggested that she wanted to marry me.

  “Where do you have to go?” I asked, bewildered.

  “Rachel demanded we go shopping.” She popped out of bed, but I just sat there, stumped, as I watched her slip on her underwear.

  Then I sat up, running my hand through my hair, wondering how shopping with Rachel could be more important than me...after she’d just had the best night of her life with me and was mentioning proposals.

  But she’d given me plenty to think about as she scooted me out the door ten minutes later. Marriage and proposals skipped through my brain.

  Even as I thought about all that, I glanced around the apartment before leaving, hoping I’d catch a glimpse of Zoey. I wanted to ask how her night had gone and if her head was killing her as much as mine was killing me. But she was nowhere in sight. So I left without getting to talk to her.

  I hid out in my bedroom for the rest of the weekend. After listening to Cora moaning Quinn’s name Saturday morning when I woke, I curled into a ball and cried.

  My head was pounding, my mouth was beyond dry, and I needed to pee. But I refused to venture from my room until I’d heard both Quinn and Cora leave.

  Once I was alone, I tried watching a little Psych on Netflix. But it reminded me too much of Quinn. When Shawn and Jules finally had their first kiss on the show, I started bawling all over again.

  So, I did some homework to distract myself, but biology was what I needed to work on the most. Remembering when he’d helped me study, I, yep...cried even more.

  I couldn’t believe I’d almost kissed him. I couldn’t believe he’d turned around and spent the entire rest of night and into the next morning with Cora. I couldn’t believe...well, there was a lot I couldn’t believe, and it was giving me a headache.

  When Monday rolled around, I considered skipping art class. What if I burst into tears the moment he walked in?

  I knew I couldn’t hide from this forever, though, so I attended. I even arrived early so I could already be in my chair and prepared before I saw him. Except Caroline was chewing on her bottom lip and anxiously waiting for me outside the building.

  She leapt forward and grabbed my arm, making me jump. “So how was Saturday night?”

  I groaned and closed my eyes, covering my face with both my hands. “I almost kissed him,” I admitted, needing to confess it to someone.

  “What?” Caroline gasped. “You...oh my God. I can’t...” She sounded like she was going to start crying, so I dropped my hands and opened my eyes.

  Blinking rapidly, she asked, “Did he push you away too?”

  I shook my head, confused. “Huh?”

  “Oren,” she pressed.

  “Oren?”

  “Oh my God, Zoey.” She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Keep up. You just said you almost kissed him.”

  What? “No, I didn’t. Why would I kiss him?”

  “Because you just said you did...Saturday night...on the date you went on with him.”

  I groaned and buried my face back into my hands. “Oh my God, I totally forgot about the date part. I am the worst person ever. Not only did I almost betray my oldest friend, but I almost kissed one guy while I was on a date with another one.”

  “Wait. What?” Caroline gripped my arm. Hard. “If you didn’t kiss Oren, then who....” Her eyes shot open wide. “You did not,” she whispered and glanced around before hissing, “You almost kissed Quinn?!” Then she gave a happy squeal and literally jumped up and down. “Ohmigod, cool!”

  “Shh.” I yanked on her arm to hush her. “It was...we were...drunk. And talking...and we leaned in toward each other, but no...you know what? I don’t think we almost kissed at all. We just moved in closer to each other to hear each other better over all the noise. Yeah. I would never kiss another woman’s boyfriend. It just...no...”

  Caroline arched an eyebrow. “I know you like him, Zoey,” she said softly. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

  Tears filled my eyes, but I quickly swallowed them back down. I hadn’t meant to lie to her. I’d just been in denial.

  “Damn, what a pair we make,” she said, taking my hand and squeezing my fingers, “liking guys we can’t have. Or won’t have us.” She started to lead me into the art room but stopped when she saw someone loitering in the back, where our chairs were located.

  Jerking me to a halt at her side, she pointed and whispered, “Look.”

  Someone wearing a sweatshirt with the hood up was placing something in Caroline’s chair.

  I elbowed her. “Oh my God. It’s your secret admirer! Can you see his face?” No one had turned the lights on in the room yet and he was sheathed in shadow.

  When he glanced our way, we both quickly ducked out of the doorway, then we just as quickly peeked back inside as he began to jog down the steps. I was beginning to think the way he moved looked familiar when he stepped into a pocket of sunlight coming in through the windows.

  My mouth dropped open and Caroline clamped her hand hard around mine when Ten hit the last step and turned in the opposite direction as us, escaping out the other side of the lecture hall.

  Like a streak, Caroline took off and raced into the room and up the steps.

  “It’s... Zoey... Look.”

  Too wide-eyed and breathless to explain, she spun the page around to show me what Ten had left for her.

  I set my hand over my chest, my mouth dropping open. It was the same picture her admirer had been leaving her all semester, but this time the Caroline in the picture and the kitten were rolling around in the grass, laughing.

  -->