The Road That Leads to Us

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “Willow!” His footsteps pounded behind me as he hurried to keep up.

  I didn’t stop. I kept walking, head bowed.

  “Willow!” His hand closed around my elbow and he spun me towards him. Our chests collided from the force and we both let out an exaggerated oomph sound. I tried to push him away, but he only held tighter. “Hey, hey,” he said softly, reaching up to hold my face between his hands. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

  “I’m frustrated.” My hands fisted at my sides, my fingernails digging into my palms. “I thought this would be fun and easy and it is sometimes, but other times it makes me so mad I can’t think straight.”

  He clucked his tongue and smoothed his fingers over my cheeks, trying to calm me. “Willow, you’re overthinking things.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” I grumbled, dropping my eyes to the ground, glaring at my dirty Chucks, “you’re not the one that keeps getting us lost.”

  He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted my head so I had to look at him.

  “Do I look mad?”

  I tried to turn away but he tightened his hold on me.

  “Do I look mad?” He repeated.

  “No,” I mumbled.

  “Exactly, because I’m right where I want to be, here with you. I don’t feel like we’re lost. We’re just…on a journey, and maybe the path we take isn’t the easiest one, but it’s ours.”

  I groaned and tried to pull away. “I hate it when you go all Yoda on me.”

  He chuckled. “One of us has to be the voice of reason and it’s never going to be you.” He grinned crookedly and tugged on the end of my hair.

  I made a face, even though he was right.

  “Do you want to stop?” He ducked down to my height so he could look into my eyes—wanting to see the truth in my answer. “We can stop for the day if you want.”

  I shook my head. That wasn’t what I wanted.

  “No,” I said adamantly. “I needed a moment to freak out. Now I’m good.”

  He laughed. “Okay, then. You wanna drive?”

  I shook my head again. After nearly killing the baby deer I wasn’t eager to get behind the wheel of the car again.

  Dean narrowed his eyes as if sensing my apprehension. “Is it because of the deer?” I nodded. “That’s stupid, Willow. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

  “It didn’t happen to anyone,” I countered, crossing my arms over my chest and sticking my chin out haughtily, “it happened to me and I’m not looking for a repeat. I don’t want to kill any deer or butcher your car in the process.”

  “It’s just a car.”

  “No it’s not.” I stood my ground. “It’s your baby and I nearly destroyed it in a matter of seconds. I’m not driving.”

  Dean sighed heavily and scrubbed his hands over his face.

  “You’re going to drive it again. Maybe not now, but eventually.”

  “Never!” I countered and started back to the car.

  He caught up to me easily and his hands closed around my waist.

  I let out a scream when my feet left the ground and he spun me around.

  My irritation quickly melted away and I couldn’t contain my laughter.

  Dean didn’t let go of me until we reached the car.

  Setting me down outside it, he bent to kiss the end of my nose. My eyes closed and I took a deep breath, knowing everything would be all right.

  ***

  Everything was not all right.

  “Ugh,” I groaned, rolling to my side and burying my face in the pillow. “Kill me. Seriously. I want to die.”

  Dean stood by the end of the bed staring down at me with a worried look. “Are you sick?”

  “Only if you call my ovaries revolting against me, sick, then yes, I’m very sick.”

  “Oh,” he drew out the word, “you got your period. That explains why you were so grumpy earlier.”

  “How can you be so blasé about this?” I glared up at him like he was the reason for my cramps and not Mother Fucking Nature and she really needed a punch to the face.

  “About your period?” He waited for me to nod. “It’s a period, Willow. It is what it is. Do you need me to go get anything?”

  “No!” I cried. The thought of Dean buying me tampons was too mortifying to even contemplate, even if I forgot to pack them.

  “You need tampons, don’t you?” His brows rose as he waited for my answer.

  “No, of course not. I packed those because I’m a smart, logical, adult who knows when she’s getting her period and is prepared for such things.”

  He pulled his keys out of his pocket and spun the ring around his fingers. “What kind do you need?”

  “You’re not buying me tampons!” I sat straight up and my hair was a wild tangled mess around my shoulders.

  Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to catch a disease if I buy you tampons. It’s not a big deal, Willow. Honestly.”

  I glared at him. “Aren’t most guys afraid of the feminine needs aisle?”

  Dean shrugged. “Any guy that’s afraid to buy a girl tampons or pads is a real piece of shit in my opinion.”

  I sighed and buried my face in my hands, letting out a loud groan. “Fine. Get me the tampons.”

  He held his hand to his ear and turned his head to his side. “Can you say that a bit louder?”

  “Don’t be an ass about it.” I grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at him.

  He caught it easily and set it on the bed.

  “Text me the kind you want.”

  “I hate you.” I glared at him as he headed for the door.

  Stopping, he turned around and stared down at me. “Funny, because I love you.” He smiled goofily.

  He made it impossible to try to be mad at him, even when I was sure tiny demon gnomes were attacking my ovaries and using them as a trampoline.

  “I love you too,” I whispered, and snagged the pillow from the end of the bed so I could hug it to my chest.

  His smile widened even further before he opened the door and left.

  I’d been telling Dean I loved him for as long as I could remember—my dad hadn’t always been happy about that, but he had to deal—but now it was so different. The depths of my emotions behind the three simple words were as large as the ocean and just as unknown. When something is that big you can’t measure it or begin to understand it. It just is.

  While Dean was gone to the store I showered and got into my pajamas before vegetating in bed while watching ‘Pitch Perfect’ On Demand.

  When an hour had passed and he hadn’t returned I sent him a text that went unread.

  Naturally, I began to worry.

  When my phone rang I was sure it was him, but it was my dad instead.

  I paused the movie and answered my phone. “Hello?”

  “How are you?”

  “About the same as I was when you talked to me three hours ago.”

  In the background I heard my mom scolding him for calling me yet again.

  “She’s my daughter,” he told her, “I’ll call her as many times in a day as I want.”

  “Dad,” I said into the phone, trying to get his attention.

  “Yeah, sorry Princess.”

  “I know you’re worried about me, but you have to chill out. I’m doing fine.”

  He grew quiet on the other end. “I know you’re fine, but I’m not.”

  I flinched at the sadness in his voice. “Dad,” I began, and then grew quiet, at a loss for words.

  “I know, I know,” he sighed, “I need to let you go—as your mother keeps reminding me—but you’re my first baby, Willow. It seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms in the hospital and kissing your tiny button nose, and yet now you’re gone.”

  “I’ve been gone for the last year,” I reminded him, “what makes this so different?”

  “I don’t know,” he breathed. “It just is.”

  I frowned and rolled onto my side. “
I might be gone and I might be grown up now, but I’ll always need you. That isn’t going to change.”

  “So you’re not replacing me with Dean?” He asked softly.

  I laughed. “No, dad. He might be my boyfriend but you’ll always be my dad.”

  He was quiet for a moment and I could feel him thinking. Suddenly, he said, “Boyfriend?”

  My mouth parted in horror at the realization that I’d let that fact slip. “Igottagodadloveyabuhbye.” I slurred my words together and hung up, slinging my phone down on the bed. It quickly lit up with another call and I shut it off.

  “Shit,” I cursed, turning to my back and crooking my arm over my eyes, “I am so dead.”

  The door opened and I sat up to see Dean entering the room, loaded down with about five grocery bags.

  “What’s all that?” I asked, standing to help him.

  “Supplies.”

  “Supplies?” I repeated, raising a brow as I took one of the bags and pulled out a plastic container of cupcakes.

  “I thought you might need some sweets.” He set the bags down on the lone table in the room. “There’s cupcakes, donuts, lollipops since they had your favorite.” He pulled the bag of Dum Dums out and waved it around. “And a bunch of other stuff I thought you might need. Like medicine.” This time he grabbed a bottle of Midol and handed it to me.

  “What are you?” I stared at him. “The Period Fairy?”

  He ducked his head and his shoulders shook with silent laughter. “I have a mom and a sister, so I’ve learned to be prepared.”

  “Mhmm.” I nodded, opening the package of cupcakes and taking a bite of the chocolate and buttercream goodness. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  Dean’s phone began buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out. His brows drew together at the name flashing across the screen. “It’s your dad.”

  “No! Don’t—” Answer it. But I was too late.

  Dean’s eyes widened and I heard my dad yelling unintelligibly on the other end.

  Dean hung up and threw his phone down like it had burned him.

  “You told your dad?!” He asked, completely panicked. “He’s going to kill me! Like bang me over the head with one of his drum sticks, chop me up with his knitting needles, feed me to his hedgehogs, and bury the tiny bits of me left in the back yard, kind of kill me.”

  “He’d never do that. It wouldn’t be good for the hedgehogs.”

  Dean’s phone began to ring again and he let out a scream and jumped away like it was a live animal ready to attack him.

  “Do you always act like this over the dad’s of the girl’s you date?” I asked, tapping my foot as I waited for a response.

  “No, of course not.” He straightened his position and glared down at the still ringing phone.

  “Then why is this different?”

  His eyes widened and he stared at me for a moment. “Willow, this is completely different! You’re my best friend, and what I felt for them was nothing compared to what I feel for you. Was I nervous meeting parents? Yes, I was, but it’s not the same. Your parent’s have been a fixture in my life for as long as you have. Those other girls—and fuck that makes it sound like it was a lot, and it really wasn’t—I didn’t care if their parents liked me, but I want your dad to accept me and love me and approve of our relationship, because this,” he waved a finger between the two of us, “is the real deal. I don’t want any animosity. That’s why it scares me. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and make him hate me.”

  I softened at his words and strode forward. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he was forced to tilt his head down to look at me.

  “It makes me love you even more that you want my dad to approve of this. I know he might not right now, but that’s because he knows too that you and me…this isn’t fleeting, and that’s gotta be scary for him. Talk to him.” I grabbed his phone and put it in his hand. “Tell him what you told me.”

  He stared down at his phone and all the missed calls lighting up the screen. He swallowed thickly and nodded. “Okay.” Kissing my forehead, he said, “I’ll be right back.”

  He stepped out of the room with his phone and I said a silent prayer that my dad would give him a chance to explain. I didn’t need my dad’s approval for my relationship, but I wanted it.

  Dean

  I paced the length of the hotel hallway as my phone buzzed incessantly in the palm of my hand.

  I knew I needed to answer it and explain things, but as crazy as my thoughts were at the moment I didn’t know if I could speak English.

  I pressed my fingers against my temples and applied pressure.

  I’d never reacted this way to a girl’s dad before, but this was so different. I’d known Maddox for as long as I could remember—and Willow didn’t know it, but from the time I was twelve years old he’d been warning me to stay away from her. I’d promised I would, but some promises were meant to be broken.

  I came to the door that led to the stairwell and opened it. I took a seat on one of the steps and inhaled a deep lungful of air.

  I gave myself a silent, and mildly stupid pep talk, but it made me feel better so it must’ve worked.

  After the last missed call, my phone hadn’t rung again.

  I swiped the button to return the call and within one second Maddox answered.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing with my daughter?” His anger vibrated over the phone like a physical force.

  “Sir,” I figured it was best to address him as formally as possible, “Willow and I are dating.”

  “How long?” He seethed. “How long has this been going on? Months? Years?”

  “No!” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “It’s only been a few days.”

  His uneven breaths echoed across the line. I feared this was the calm before the storm.

  “I told you to stay away from my little girl,” he growled.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I tried. I really did. I never wanted to go against your wishes, but I love Willow. I’m in love with her and I can’t fight it anymore. She’s beautiful and amazing and she makes me laugh and I love the way she loves life and she’s pretty damn perfect.”

  “I don’t like this,” he mumbled. “But if she’s going to be with anyone, might as well be you.”

  My eyes widened with shock and I sat open-mouthed, trying to get a handle on my thoughts so I could say something.

  “Um, thank you,” I finally responded.

  “I still don’t like this.” His voice rose. “And I’ll kill you if you hurt her. Ow, ow, ow!” He exclaimed on the other end. “Emma! Stop pinching my ear! I told him it might as well be him! Oh come on!” He cleared his throat. “Emma told me, ow! Fuck, woman, stop that!”

  I pinched my lips together so I wouldn’t laugh.

  “What I mean to say is that I a-a-approve,” it sounded like it killed him to say the word, “and I’ll stop being a jerk. Anything else?” I assumed the last part was directed at Emma. “Yeah, well that’s it.”

  “Thank you.” I said and went to hang up.

  “Wait! One more thing.” He cried suddenly and I heard shuffling on the other end and it sounded like a door closed. I heard him take a deep breath before speaking. “You’ve always scared me because I knew you had the power to take my baby girl away from me.”

  “I wouldn’t—”

  “Let me finish.”

  I shut up.

  “From the time you two were little I knew she was going to fall in love with you one day. I tried to stop it, because I’m her dad and no dad wants to see his little girl grow up and run off with some guy, but it was bound to happen and I’m sorry for trying to keep you apart. Emma said some things that made me feel like an asshole. Her dad was never in the picture, but if he had been and had treated me the way I’ve treated you before you two were even a couple…well, I would’ve felt unworthy of her. So, I want you to know I approve, but…just bear with me. This is going to take some getting
used to.”

  I sat silent. What was I supposed to say to that?

  “Your approval means a lot to me,” I finally said. It was the truth too.

  He cleared his throat. “But if you get her pregnant so help me God I will maim you.”

  I laughed—I couldn’t help myself. “’Course.”

  No conversation with Maddox would be complete without him threatening to harm me in some way.

  “Bye,” Maddox said and hung up.

  I stared down at my phone. “What the fuck just happened?” I mumbled to myself.

  Surely I’d entered some parallel universe.

  I stood and shook my head as I replayed the conversation over in my head.

  I made the trek back to the room and found Willow pacing the room.

  “What did he say?” She ran forward and grabbed me by the arms and held on so I couldn’t move.

  I shrugged. “He’s okay.”

  She let me go and took a step back. “You talked to my dad. The man that hates your guts and he’s okay with this?”

  I nodded.

  Willow tilted her head back and spoke to the ceiling. “I’m dreaming, right? Because in real life my dad would never approve of this, and he’d currently be on a jet here so he could kill you.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” I lifted my hands in the air and let them fall. “I mean, he’s not thrilled and he did threaten to hurt me if I got you pregnant, but overall he’s okay with this. Your mom talked to him.”

  “Oh, I see.” Willow nodded, laughing under her breath. “He’s so whipped.”

  I closed the distance between us and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her body flush to mine. “How are you feeling?” I asked her, reaching up with one hand to smooth away the flyaway pieces of hair that always appeared by her forehead.

  “Much better thanks to you.” She stretched up and kissed me quickly before disentangling from my hold and bouncing onto the bed. “Come sit down.” She patted the tiny bit of empty space beside her on the bed. The rest was covered in all the junk food I’d bought at the store. “Let’s watch the movie together.”

  I glanced at the TV and saw that she had ‘Pitch Perfect’ paused.

  I sat down on the bed and stretched my legs out.