What It Takes: A Kowalski Reunion Novel

by Shannon Stacey

  But then he broke off the kiss, and Laney opened her eyes to see him looking at her mouth and he wasn’t exactly frowning, but he didn’t look happy.

  “I’m sorry, Laney.” His hands fell away from her and he took a step back. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  Ouch. “Don’t be sorry.”

  “No, I shouldn’t have done that.” He blew out a breath and then scrubbed a hand over his face. “I mean, I...dammit. I’m screwing this up.”

  He looked miserable, so she felt sorry for him and decided to help him out. “Are you trying to tell me you didn’t want to kiss me and accidentally did, or that you’re worried I didn’t want to kiss you?”

  “Oh, no. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to so much it seemed like kissing you was all I’ve thought about lately. But I have no idea if you wanted me to.”

  “I did,” she admitted, because she wasn’t going to let him beat himself up over something they both wanted. “But, that doesn’t mean it was a good idea. I’m not...looking to date anybody, you know?”

  “I do know.” His smile was genuine, reaching his eyes. “Okay, so I’m not sorry I kissed you. But I’ll try not to do it again.”

  That should have made her happy, but she knew her smile probably didn’t look as real as his had. “We’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other and it’ll just be easier that way.”

  Easier in some ways, maybe, but Laney knew when she crawled into her bed tonight, she was going to think about his kiss and ache for more.

  “I have to go see Andy for a few minutes, and then I’ll be out of here.” He grabbed the envelope off the seat of the chair. “I’ll probably be by in the next couple of days to see Sean, though.”

  “It’s going to be a fun couple of weeks. I hope.”

  “It will be. I just don’t want to make things awkward.”

  “Ben, it’s fine. It was a kiss. A really great kiss but, still, we don’t have to let it make things awkward between us. I don’t want that.”

  “Me, either.” He slapped the envelope against his palm and looked as if he was going to say more, but then he sighed. “Good night, Laney.”

  “Good night.”

  She watched him leave and, once he’d disappeared beyond the trees, she pressed her fingers to her mouth.

  It hadn’t just been a great kiss. It had been amazing, and she wanted more. She wanted to know what his hair felt like sliding through her fingers. She wanted to run her hands over his arms and his back, and feel his taut muscles.

  Instead, the next time she saw him, she was going to smile and make conversation, because no matter how much she wanted him, she hadn’t been lying. She wasn’t ready to date anybody. Not the kind of dating that was meant to become a real relationship, and she had a strong feeling that’s where Ben was in his life.

  But she wasn’t there yet.

  Chapter Seven

  Laney was seriously regretting her choice not to sacrifice any of her camper’s precious refrigerator or cabinet space to alcohol. She didn’t drink a lot, but if there was ever a time she deserved a reward cocktail at the end of a day, it would be the extended Kowalski family’s arrival day.

  It seemed as if every time things calmed down, another vehicle rolled in. Multiple vehicles, actually, since there were not only the campers, but also trucks pulling trailers loaded with four-wheelers.

  There were a lot of four-wheelers, which made sense due to the fact there was a lot of family.

  Leo and Mary had arrived first in a big diesel pusher that looked to Laney like an RV version of a luxury yacht, and she was thankful they hadn’t shown up last. The vehicle didn’t really have a tight turning radius. Other than helping Andy in making sure he didn’t run over any electrical or sewer hookups, there wasn’t much for Laney to do other than meet them. She knew Leo and Frank—Josh’s father—were brothers, but Leo had ended up settling in New Hampshire with Mary.

  As the rest began trickling in, Laney was thankful she’d taken a copy of the campground map and marked down names and a few notes so she could sneak a peek as they arrived.

  Josh had already spoken to her about Joe, who was Leo and Mary’s oldest son. He was some kind of famous horror author, and she’d had explained to her in no uncertain terms that he was an extremely private person and that what happened at the Northern Star stayed at the Northern Star. He and his wife, Keri, along with their five-year-old daughter, Brianna, would be staying in one of the cabins.

  Terry, Joe’s twin sister, and her husband, Evan, had an RV. Mike and Lisa, with their two younger sons had another. And Kevin and Beth, with six-year-old Lily and two-year-old Gabe rounded out Leo and Mary’s kids. They had an RV, but it was smaller and at the last minute, they’d opted for the second cabin to give the kids more floor space.

  As for Josh’s siblings, Sean and Emma would be arriving with their son in a big RV at some point. His brother Ryan and Lauren, his wife, would be coming up from Massachusetts and taking one of the guest rooms in the lodge. And Rosie had decided to keep the other rooms open for the family who lived in Whitford. Mitch’s wife was very pregnant and they had a two-year-old, and Liz had one-year-old Jackson, so they might want a place to have nap time or change after the pool. Rosie also wanted the beds empty in case anybody had more beer than they’d anticipated and shouldn’t drive home.

  Laney also had a list of the older kids who had jobs and social lives that got them out of spending two entire weeks with their family. Ryan and Lauren’s son, Nick, and Stephanie—Terry and Evan’s daughter—plus Joey and Danny, who were Mike and Lisa’s two oldest boys, would be showing up just for the long Fourth of July holiday weekend and planned to stay in tents. Rosie had warned her that once it started getting dark and their phone batteries started getting low, they might try to sneak into the lodge for the night—especially Stephanie—and that it was okay.

  “Overwhelmed yet?”

  Even before she turned, Laney recognized Leo’s voice. He wasn’t a big man, but he had a very big voice. He also had the pretty blue eyes both sides of the Kowalski family shared, while Mary had given her kids her dimples.

  “A little bit,” she admitted, since he wouldn’t believe her if she denied it. “But you guys don’t seem to need me for much, anyway.”

  “We’ve been camping a long time,” he said. After a few seconds, he snorted. “Camping. My old man would cuff us upside the head if he heard us call what we’re doing camping.”

  “Your RV definitely isn’t primitive. But it is in a campground, so technically...”

  He laughed. “Sometimes the wife and I joke about living in the RV and renting out the house because it’s a lot nicer. I think we’re joking, anyway. So who are we missing?”

  That made her laugh, since it was his family he was asking about. “Sean isn’t here yet. And, according to Rosie, Ryan and his wife should be here any time.”

  “It’ll be good to be all together here at the Northern Star. My brother would be damn proud to see what the kids have done with this place.”

  Leo was proud. She could hear it in his voice. And she hadn’t seen it during the rough years, of course, but she could see how much work and love had gone into making it the place it was now. “I’m sure he would.”

  Two little girls ran up to Leo, each grabbing one of his hands and talking at the same time. “Come see what we made!”

  They looked close in age to Laney, and both had dark hair and blue eyes, but she could tell them apart by the dimples. Brianna, who was Joe and Keri’s daughter, didn’t have them while Lily, who was slightly older and belonged to Kevin and Beth, did.

  “My granddaughters don’t waste any time,” he said. “It was nice talking to you, Laney.”

  “You, too.”

  Once the girls had dragged Leo away, Laney decided to duck into her camper for a quick
break. Everybody was visiting and putting the final touches on their sites, so she didn’t think they’d need anything from her for a while. She’d gone through the lodge a final time that morning, making sure everything was clean and ready for guests, so until it was time to help guide Sean and Emma into their site, there was nothing for her to do.

  Of course, thinking about Sean’s imminent arrival made her think about Ben. And thinking about Ben made her think about that kiss.

  She’d be seeing him soon. Maybe tonight or maybe tomorrow, but he’d be stopping by and she was going to have to pretend she hadn’t been thinking about the kiss since last night. No staring at his mouth. No blushing when they made eye contact.

  After grabbing a can of mixed fruit from her fridge, Laney opened the shopping list app on her phone and typed in chocolate. Maybe it wasn’t quite the reward a cocktail was, but she didn’t think alcohol and Ben would be a good mix for her.

  Emma

  “I want Nana Rosie.”

  She’d lost count of the number of times Johnny had said that since they left their driveway, but since they’d just passed the Welcome to Whitford sign, Emma smiled at her son. He’d turned to see her the best he could, since his car seat was buckled into the shotgun seat, and she was behind him on the RV’s couch. “Just a few more minutes, buddy.”

  “I want to play trucks with Gabe.”

  “We have your trucks,” she said. Again, not for the first time. “Are you excited to spend two whole weeks with your cousins?”

  He actually clapped his hands, which made her and Sean both laugh. He had a lot of play dates with Lily and Gabe, and with Brianna, but it was never enough for him. He was an energetic little extrovert and he got bored having just Mom or Dad in the house. So they “borrowed” his cousins as often as they could, and they’d had a few discussions about letting him go to day care part-time just to have time to play with other kids.

  Mostly they’d been trying to give him a little brother or sister, but he was three now and it still hadn’t happened.

  Emma watched as the trees whipped by the windows, trying to put the brakes on that train of thought. Not only did she want to focus on enjoying the next two weeks, but she’d be spending them with some very perceptive women and she didn’t want to talk about it. She and Sean hadn’t even really talked about it yet, other than a few passing remarks here and there.

  “We’re here, Johnny,” Sean said at the same time Emma felt the RV slow. “It’s time for the Kowalski family vacation!”

  “Of doom,” Johnny added, clapping his hands again.

  They were laughing when the lodge came into view, which Emma took as a good sign. She couldn’t stop herself from looking over the landscaping, which had fared well since her last visit. The flowers were Rosie’s choice and some of the trees and shrubs had been there as long as the house, but Emma’d spent some time helping them with the rest of the property. Drainage and borders when they’d expanded the parking areas, and to make an area where they could power-wash ATVs without worrying about erosion.

  “I’m going to park out here so we can say hi and find out where we’re putting this thing,” Sean said.

  “And put it in place without somebody yelling to get out,” Emma added, having to speak up since Johnny was already demanding to be released from the car seat.

  Sean shut off the engine and, by the time Emma popped the buckle to release Johnny, he had the passenger door open and caught their son as he jumped down. “Let’s go find Nana Rosie.”

  Emma slid into the driver’s seat and out that door, since it was the easiest way to exit, so she was a few steps behind them. A knot of emotion lodged in her throat as she watched her two men—one tall and strong, and the other so little in his father’s arms—walking toward the lodge. Sean was already pointing things out to Johnny, like the tree he’d fallen out of when he was five and the window he’d accidentally broken trying to teach himself golf in the front yard.

  For Emma, the Northern Star Lodge was where they’d be spending their two-week vacation. To Sean, this was home. Not the place he lived, but the place he was from.

  When he reached the front door, he stopped and turned back to wait for her. Sean was practically beaming, his blue eyes framed by laugh lines that she loved to kiss sometimes, even though it drove him crazy. He looked like he was about to say something, but then the door opened and Rosie was there.

  She threw her arms around Sean, wrapping up Johnny in the process, and Emma watched Sean hug the woman who had been like a mother to him. Rosie squeezed back until Johnny protested, and then it was Emma’s turn.

  “I’m so glad you’re finally here! I can’t believe how big this guy has gotten since the last time I saw him.” Rosie kissed Johnny’s cheek, making an exaggerated mwah sound that made him giggle.

  “We got started later than we intended and then stopped a few times,” Emma explained. “He’s at that age where he doesn’t want to be strapped to a seat for very long and I was hoping he’d nap some, since I know the kids will be wound up tonight, but he was too excited to see everybody to stop talking long enough to fall asleep.”

  “Well, I think Johnny and I will go have a quick visit in the kitchen while you guys get your RV settled. I’m not sure where Andy got off to, but Laney’s out in the camping area and she’ll know the best way to pull you into your spot.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Sean said. “Josh likes her and you know we were all in favor of you having some help around here. Not that you need it, but you deserve it.”

  Rosie smiled, and then patted his cheek. “I like her, too, and thank you. Now go get set up so we can put up the canopy for the kids to play under if the sun’s too hot or it’s raining. You have to drive through the grass where it’s going, so we can’t do it until you’re parked.”

  “Nana Rosie, where are the cookies?” Johnny asked, because he knew she’d have some in the jar.

  “Be good,” Emma told him, and then she went back outside with Sean.

  He reached out and grabbed her hand as they walked, lacing his fingers through hers. “I can’t believe how good it feels to be back here.”

  “I can’t wait to park my butt in a camp chair and do nothing.” She sighed. “For a few minutes, anyway. Johnny’s going to keep us on our toes.”

  “That he will.” He leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with his. “But between Aunt Mary and Rosie and all his aunts, I bet we’ll manage to sneak away for a few minutes now and then.”

  “To a camper surrounded by your family?”

  They’d reached the RV, so he let go of her hand, but he slapped her ass before going around to the driver’s side. When they were both inside, he paused before turning the key. “Guess you’ll have to be really quiet.”

  “Oh, I think you are the one who’ll need to be quiet.” When he raised his eyebrows suggestively, she laughed and gestured for him to get going.

  She had a camp chair to park herself in.

  * * *

  Ben parked his SUV across the front of Josh’s truck and Katie’s Jeep, figuring if he blocked them in, nobody would be able to block him in. There were a lot of vehicles in the yard already, but he had no idea if all the family had arrived or not.

  He knew Sean had, though, since he’d sent Ben a text message earlier. Come meet my wife and son. We’ll crack a beer.

  It had been years since he’d seen Sean. A lot of them, though he’d probably have to sit with a pen and paper to actually figure out how many exactly. But they’d been almost inseparable until adulthood, when Sean joined the army and Ben headed to college and then the city.

  As soon as he opened his door, he could hear laughter from the camping area. Rather than going through the lodge to see if anybody was in there, he cut across the yard and headed for the trees. And as he walked, he braced himself.r />
  Not for the chaos of the family gathering, but for seeing Laney again.

  He’d kissed her. He hadn’t planned it and he didn’t regret it, but it had weighed on him since last night. They had chemistry. It was undeniable, and the kiss had felt like pouring gasoline on burning embers. The need for her had flared, hot and strong.

  But then he’d remembered too late that they weren’t looking for the same things in life, and he’d pulled back. And then he’d botched the apology, though she’d taken it well. So things would hopefully not be too awkward between them, but he was going to have a hard time looking at her and not wanting to kiss her again. They’d agreed, though, that it wasn’t a good idea.

  And that’s what he was telling himself for the umpteenth time—kissing Laney again would not be a good idea—as he walked down the dirt drive into the camping area into somewhat organized chaos.

  “Ben!”

  He would have recognized Sean Kowalski anywhere, but seeing him was a bit of a shock. They’d both put on some years and seeing Sean made him keenly aware he’d aged exactly the same amount.

  It didn’t matter. It was good to see him. “How the hell have you been?”

  They shook hands and then Sean dragged him to each cluster of family milling around. He said hello to the Kowalskis he knew and was introduced to the ones he didn’t. The kids managed to be still long enough for Sean to name them all, but then he scooped a little boy into his arms, truck and all.

  “And this is my boy, Johnny.”

  “He’s a handsome little guy,” Ben said, and he couldn’t look away as Sean kissed the top of his son’s head before setting him back down.

  The last time he’d seen Sean, they’d barely been adults and now here he was with a kid of his own. He looked, not just content, but really happy. And even though he was happy for his old friend, Ben couldn’t help but compare his own life to his. Same age. Same beginnings. But Ben was living in an apartment over his parents’ garage with no sign of a wife on the horizon, never mind kids.