Why Now?

by Carey Heywood

  Okay, he does have a point.

  “By not kissing her,” Heath growls, and I nod in agreement because that made total sense.

  Jake directs his attention to Heath. “You know. Out of everyone in this room, I’ve talked to you about the girl I kissed that night and how much I wished I could find her. Don’t act like you weren’t as surprised as I was when I found out it could have been Kacey.”

  “What does that even mean?” I cry. “How can a kiss with a stranger mean that much to you when you never bothered to notice me any other time? I don’t get it.”

  His face hardens. “Oh, I noticed you, believe me, I’ve noticed you. What did you want me to do, Killer? I live on a fucking rig. Was I supposed to hook up with you? The girl I grew up with, the best friend of my sister’s, to just leave you here? I can be a dick but I’m not that much of a dick.”

  He noticed me. When? How? That can’t be.

  “What about when you still lived here?” I argue.

  His eyes widen and his hands open, his fingers flexing. “You were just a little kid then. I didn’t think of you that way until I saw you at Grams funeral. You’re sexy as fuck now.”

  Heath tightens his grip while Jake laughs and keeps talking. “When I still lived here you were in middle school, Kacey. Give me a break for not seeing you as a woman until you were one.”

  “Fine,” I grumble. “But none of what you said changes the fact that you still live on a rig. Why did you kiss me tonight if you’re only going to leave again?”

  It’s now Reilly that cuts in, moving to stand between us. “Why don’t we all sit down? I can make everyone tea.”

  We all look at her and I ask, “Tea?”

  Between the two of us, I’m the tea drinker. I have a feeling the earth will be absorbed by the sun before I ever catch Jake or Heath having a cup of tea.

  “Isn’t tea supposed to be calming or something?” She asks before looking at all of us. “I figured something calming would be helpful at the moment.”

  Shaking my head I reply, “I don’t think it’s instantaneous or anything.”

  Either way, the absurdity of her serving us tea has muted my anger. Turning, Heath releases his hold on me and I take his hand and lead him to the sofa.

  We sit together with me tucked into his side. If there were a better non-verbal way of letting Jake know where I stood, I couldn’t think of it.

  His eyes stay on me, though. If it bothers him that I’m sitting so close to Heath his body language does nothing to show it.

  “I kissed you because I had to know. I also kissed you because I’ve wanted to for a long time, even if you weren’t my mystery girl. I kissed you because I know I’ll never deserve all you have to offer, and I wanted to experience it at least once.”

  “Fuck,” Heath groans next to me, but my attention is wholly on Jake as I try to absorb what he just said.

  “Thing is, now that I’ve tasted you . . .”

  I gulp, my mouth suddenly dry.

  “I’m not ready to give up without a fight.” He looks up at Heath, “So may the best man win.”

  May the best man win? Did I really just fucking say that? Great, way to make Kacey think this is a competition. What are you going to do if you win, Jake? A touchdown dance?

  Figuring that I’m going to be unwelcomed at Heath’s place for the rest of my stay, I head back to Lola’s. Sydney is probably still up, and if I’m lucky, she’ll let me crash on her couch.

  The walk gives me plenty of time to replay the epic levels of stupid things I said back there. The look on Kacey’s face when she yelled at me, slayed me.

  All I wanted to do was tug her into my arms to comfort her. She already had Mackey’s arms around her, though, and she would not have appreciated a tug-of-war.

  She should have been in my arms, I’m certain of that. She was right, though, what the hell can I offer her? Nothing. If I quit my job on the rig, I’ll have no income and won’t be able to cover the mortgage on the house as long as it’s vacant.

  So I’m supposed to convince her she should be with me and then ditch her? Shit. What have I gotten myself into?

  Sydney is behind the counter wiping it down as I walk in. “Oh, look what the cat dragged in.”

  She’s not wrong. If I looked like hell the first time she saw me tonight, I have no doubt I look worse now. When we went back to Reilly’s I wasn’t expecting to argue why I never made a play for Kacey.

  Glancing around the place, I’m relieved to see that apart from the cook staff the place is empty. “Can I ask a favor?”

  Sydney smirks and leans forward to rest her elbow on the counter. “Lay it on me.”

  “If your couch is free I’d love to crash on it.”

  She tilts her head to the side. “I thought you were staying with Heath.”

  “Long story,” I reply.

  She straightens; leaving the cloth she was using on the counter she stretches her arms wide. “And I’ve got nothing but time.”

  Fucking Sydney Fairlane. The women in the town are going to be the death of me.

  I gave her the cliff notes. “I kissed Kacey Albright tonight and Mackey wasn’t thrilled about it.”

  “I already heard that part,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “And you seemed cool with each other when you left. Give me something juicy.”

  “When we left he thought that kiss was the end of it and I was done with her.”

  Her brows lift. “And, you’re not done with her.”

  Shaking my head, I slide onto the stool in front of her. “I’m just getting started.”

  Laughing, she nods. “I’ll bet that pissed Mac off.”

  “Mac?” I ask.

  She shrugs, “Mackey, Heath, whatever. That had to have pissed him off.”

  “It did. I declared war like she’s a country we both want to conquer. I’m a fucking jackass.”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Jake.”

  Impossible.

  I smile and her face softens. “Want a cup of coffee?”

  “Got anything stronger?” I reply.

  “One Irish Coffee coming up,” she replies.

  When she comes back, she surprises me by bringing two mugs with her. The one with the skull and cross bones she passes to me. She keeps the one with a girl reading on it for herself.

  “It’s decaf,” she says, taking a sip from her mug.

  “You drinking with me?” I ask, surprised.

  Smiling she nods. “It’s closing time and I needed one.”

  With that, she sets her mug on the counter and lifts the divider that separates it from the booth section of the diner. With practiced ease, she leans across one booth and switches off the light that illuminates the open sign before turning to the door and locking it.

  Sydney moves like a dancer, every step she takes confident and assured. It strikes me that as much as I like Sydney, if I had to stand her next to Kacey, I’d pick Kacey every time.

  This surprises me for some reason. Sydney and I would fit. We both have tattoos, we both move with confidence. Mine from all of the years I played football, hers from . . . if I had to guess, her travels.

  Kacey is shy and sweet. She doesn’t disappear when she walks but she doesn’t have swagger like Sydney does. She’s quietly graceful and, for as long as I can remember, always has been.

  Not many people ever get to see the passion she keeps locked inside. I saw it when she stood up to those boys to rescue that dog and then again tonight when my lips were on hers.

  Needing to get my mind off Kacey, I ask, “Have you decided what you’re going to do about the diner?”

  She shakes her head. “I’m not sure I can live in this town.”

  Not expecting that, I laugh, “What, we stink?”

  She settles herself on the stool next to me and punches my arm. “Like you can talk. It’s not like you live here.”

  Sobering, I reach for my drink and take a gulp. My eyes bug as I force it down.
/>   “Shit, woman,” I gasp, after taking a breath. “Was there any coffee in there?”

  “It’ll put some hair on your chest,” she teases. “Besides, you asked if I had anything stronger.”

  Plucking her mug from her hands I sniff it and find that her drink is just as strong as mine is.

  Passing it back to her, I shake my head. “Warn a fella next time.”

  She waits for me to pick my mug back up before tapping hers to mine. “Deal.”

  We both drink. Now that I’m prepared, my second gulp goes down a lot smoother.

  “Alright now, spill. Why can’t you live here?”

  She spins on her stool so that her back is resting on the counter and she’s looking out into the empty parking lot. “There are times when everyone knowing you is a comfort and there are other times when it feels like a cage.”

  “This is the last place anyone should live if they don’t want people in their business,” I agree.

  “Right now it’s starting to feel like more of a cage than I can handle,” she whispers.

  “Have you broken the news to your grandmother?”

  Her gaze swings from the parking lot to me. “Nope.”

  “Coward,” I mutter.

  She elbows me. “Fuck off, Whitmore. Don’t you have a country to conquer?”

  Taking another gulp, I rub my side. She has sharp fucking elbows.

  Then she sighs. “I don’t have the heart to tell her. Part of me wants to take off in the middle of the night and leave her a note telling her I’m not cut out for this place.”

  “That’d hurt her,” I caution.

  She looks back out the windows of the diner, not at the parking lot but past it. “Which is why I’m still here, working up the nerve to tell her straight out.”

  “How long to you expect that to take?” I ask.

  She takes another drink but doesn’t answer me.

  “That long?” I say, and take another drink as well.

  It’s a question I don’t expect an answer to. She’s lucky she has a grandmother she loves enough not to hurt. It might suck now because she’s stuck here, but a time will come where she’d give her right arm to be right back here, working side by side with Mrs. Fairlane.

  It’s not my place to tell her that. That’s the kind of lesson you only learn after they’re gone. The last year of my Gram’s life, I fucked up my knee. They went into debt after all of the procedures it took to fix it. I was too busy being angry at the world to understand the stress I was putting on them until it was too late.

  Mrs. Fairlane is lucky to have a granddaughter who gives a fuck.

  After draining my mug, I set it on the counter. “What can I do to help you finish closing up for the night?”

  She finishes her drink and asks, “How are you with a mop?”

  Sliding off my stool I reply, “We got floors on the rig and somebody had to clean them.”

  Between the two of us, Sydney and I clean the dining area of Lola’s in no time.

  When she’s in town, Sydney lives in the flat above the diner. After the cooking staff leaves, I follow Sydney upstairs.

  She slips off her shoes the moment we’re in the door, her eyes closing as a sigh escapes her.

  It’s easy to forget how difficult it must be for her to be on her feet nonstop. She isn’t the type to complain. Reilly could take lessons from her; I swear my sister could give classes on the art of bitching about shit.

  After her quiet celebration of being barefoot, she cocks her head for me to follow her further into her place and presents her sofa to me with a flourish.

  “It’s not much but it’s all yours.”

  “It’s perfect. Thanks for letting me crash here tonight.”

  “Anytime. If it’s cool with you, I’m going to bed.”

  “Sure. Can you wake me when you get up?”

  She grimaces. “I’m opening so it will be early. That okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “Night, Jake.”

  “Night, Sydney.”

  She turns and heads to her bedroom.

  Given everything that happened, I expected sleep to be hard to find. It was the opposite. One second my head was hitting a throw pillow, the next Sydney was shaking my shoulder to wake me.

  Blinking up at her I ask, “Where’s the fire?”

  She’s already up and ready for the day. “There’s no fire but it’s time to wake up.”

  “Did you even sleep?”

  She laughs and I sit up. “Do I have enough time to take a shower?”

  Tapping a watch that isn’t there on her wrist she replies, “A fast one.”

  Doing as I’m told, I’m ready in no time, changing back into the clothes I wore yesterday.

  She leads the way back down the stairs to the diner. Grabbing a stool, I hang out while she opens the door for the morning cook staff and gets a pot of coffee going. A few minutes later, she unlocks the front door and switches the open sign on.

  She claims to have a vagabond soul but running a diner seems as effortless as breathing to her. Life has plans for us all. We might try to revolt against it but before long, we end up right where life planned for us to be.

  Life seems intent on me being in Ferncliff. If the house hadn’t been trashed, I’d probably be on my way back to Santa Barbara right now.

  “Eating here?” Sydney asks, and I nod.

  Like her grandmother, she doesn’t ask what I want. Today I get a mug with a Monet painting on it, lily pads floating in water.

  More people spill in, and after Sydney gets them settled she moves back over to stand across the counter from me. “What are your plans for today?”

  “My insurance guy gave me the name of a couple of guys in town that could do the repairs. I need to meet with them and get quotes.”

  “You should call Jimmy Hacket,” she replies.

  Frowning, I take another sip of my coffee before I say, “Don’t know him.”

  She smirks, putting one hand on her hip. “You know Jimmy Hacket. He was the kid everyone made fun of back in the day for having a lisp and being smaller than all the other boys.”

  Shaking my head I mutter, “Still not ringing a bell.”

  She huffs, moving her hand from her hip and slapping it on the counter in annoyance. She sinks down like her knees gave out at the thought of me not having a fucking clue who this kid is. The only thing that keeps her from falling on her ass is her hand on the counter.

  She straightens back up and groans, “Come on, the boy who wore the same neon green hoodie for like three years.”

  The moment she says neon green hoodie I know exactly who she’s talking about. “Alright, alright. I remember that fucking hoodie. Why should I call him?”

  Jimmy Hacket had been at least three years behind me in school and we never ran in the same circles.

  “He’s a contractor now. A great one from what I hear.”

  “No shit,” I reply. “Good for him. Does he have some guys who help with the heavy lifting?”

  She bites her lip, giggling her ass off before she says. “You’re not going to believe me, but his senior year he had the growth spurt of all growth spurts. I’d have to see the two of you next to each other but he might be bigger than you.”

  My head snaps back. “Jimmy with the green hoodie got big?”

  She laughs at my expression and nods.

  “No shit,” I laugh with her.

  Sydney gets his number for me and lets me use her phone to call him and the two other contractors. My phone charger is with the rest of my shit at Heath’s place and my battery is almost dead.

  Then, she kicks further ass by letting me borrow her car for the day. It’s a silver convertible Beetle but it’ll beat having to walk my ass back and forth all over town.

  She made me promise to return it by four. After I pay for my breakfast, I hit the road.

  My first stop is Heath’s. His car isn’t in his spot so I get my shit and put his spare key under his doormat.
I’ll text him after I charge my phone to let him know it’s there.

  From his place, I go one town over to Target and stock up on shit so I can crash at the house. Nothing crazy, an air mattress, a cheap sleeping bag, and some food to eat and drink.

  By the time I get to the house, the first contractor is already there waiting for me.

  He takes a look at the damage and is willing to do the work but won’t be able to start for two to three weeks. His quote is good so I let him know I’ll be in touch, but it sucks that he’s not able to start right away.

  When the next guy shows, I know by looking at him that he’s not going to work out. He’s got used car salesman-trying-to-convince-me-a-beater-is-a-Caddie written all over him.

  He’s barely out the drive before I chuck his estimate in the trash.

  Jimmy shows up next, and I’ll be darned there’s no way I’d recognize him if Sydney hadn’t said anything.

  “How’ve you been man?” I ask once he’s inside.

  His voice is softer than I’d expected given his size. “Things have been good. Work is steady which is all anyone can hope for.”

  “Sydney told me to give you a call, said she’s heard nothing but good things.”

  He looks at his feet, embarrassed by the praise. “Mrs. Fairlane has been good to me. Before Sydney moved back, she gave me my first job when I started my business and has been recommending me to people ever since. I guess she told Sydney.”

  His mention of work being steady makes me nervous. “How busy are you now?”

  Looking back up he must’ve read my face, “I take it you’re looking for work to start right away.”

  Yep, he read me.

  I scratch the back of my neck. “If possible. The place getting trashed means I can’t list it for sale or try and get a new tenant until it’s fixed up. The longer it takes for that to happen means more money out of my pocket that I don’t have.”

  He nods and glances around the front entryway again before saying, “I got a job I’m working right now that my boys could finish up without me. That’ll leave only me, though, to work over here. If you’d work with me, I could lower the labor cost on the bid and start tomorrow.”

  “No shit?” I reply, excitement in my tone.