Best of Intentions

by Michelle Cary

  She struggled to keep her mind on other things, but Devin consumed her thoughts to the point that when she parked in her driveway, she had to stop and think about how she’d arrived there. The entire distance between the hospital and her home was nothing more than a giant blur.

  She unlocked the door, tossed her keys in the dish on the hall table and locked the door behind her. How could a man as rich and famous as Devin be completely alone? That question followed her up stairs and clung to her conscious while she changed clothes. She couldn’t imagine not having a family to fall back on. If it wasn’t for her sisters, sometimes Tess wondered how she’d survive. They were her lifeline, her sanity. With his family out of the picture and his band mates gone, Devin was completely alone.

  A knock on her door dragged Tess from her mental wanderings. She scurried downstairs and peeked out the window. Eric stood on her porch with a grocery bag in hand. She frowned. Was he kidding? After spending the entire weekend with him, all she wanted was some time away.

  She drew in a deep breath and forced a smile as she opened the door. “Eric, hi. What are you doing here?”

  Grinning, he held the bag out to her. “I figured you might like some dinner, so I brought Chinese.”

  Now how was she supposed to turn down such a sweet offer? She gestured for him to enter. “That was thoughtful, but what if I’d had to work a double shift?”

  “Come on, Tess. Give me a little credit. I called the hospital to see if you’d left before I ordered.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You were checking up on me?”

  He set the bag on the table and wheeled around to face her, an expression of innocence on his face. “Now don’t get all defensive. I had to call and check the status of the investigation, so I simply inquired if you were still there.”

  Tess shook her head. “I don’t know I like you asking about me, Eric. It makes me a little uncomfortable. I mean, it’s not like we’re married anymore.”

  A deflated look glinted in his eyes and he swiveled back to the bag of food. “I know. I was trying to do something nice for you.”

  The wounded tone in his voice cut her deep. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but damn if the boy wasn’t thick as a tree trunk sometimes. It wasn’t as if she’d been giving off signals; in fact, it was the opposite. She’d stressed again and again she wanted nothing more than friendship. If he wasn’t getting the hint, she’d have to start taking more drastic measures.

  “So when’s your next undercover shift?” she asked, hoping to nip the mood in the butt before it worsened.

  “Tomorrow. Our suspect is supposed to be pulling a day shift in the intensive care unit the rest of this week.”

  Her heart jumped a beat then began to pound faster. The mere idea of Devin possibly becoming a target for this deranged person made Tess want to race back to the hospital and protect him. Instead, she struggled to keep her calm and continue with their conversation. She knew Eric’s feelings for Devin, and while deep down she didn’t care what he thought, she also wasn’t prepared to fight with him right now. “Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you a lot tomorrow because I’ve asked to be assigned there for the next week or so.”

  Eric arched a curious brow. “Really? That wouldn’t have anything to do with Devin being there, would it?”

  She paused over the container of mixed vegetables and looked up at him. “How did you know about Devin?”

  He rolled his eyes while his mouth contorted into a frown. “How could I not know? It’s been all over the news, plus one of my buddies at the hospital told me.”

  She knew the look he was giving her. It was the same look he’d wear when they were married and fighting. Tess held up her hand. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Okay? Save your lecture for somebody who needs it.”

  Eric shrugged. “Who says I was going to lecture you? I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”

  She popped open the lid on the white rice and forked out some on the plate. “What makes you think I’m going to get hurt?”

  “Because I know what a hold he has over your emotions. You’ve never truly gotten over him leaving, now he’s back and injured. I don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see what a hazardous situation this could be for you emotionally.”

  She frowned. “I am not a naïve nineteen year old girl anymore, Eric. I’m not going to get hurt again.”

  “I hope you’re right, but if you get involved with him, I’m afraid that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Honestly, Tess, I don’t have the patience to go through this a second time. If he does hurt you, I won’t be here to help you pick up the pieces again.”

  Anger flared deep inside as her brow knit and she narrowed her eyes. “Who asked you to the first time, Eric?”

  He dropped his fork on the plate and leaned back in his chair. “Who was the one who held you at night and let you cry after he left? Who was there for you when you found out you were pregnant with his child, and who nursed you back to health after you had the miscarriage?”

  As quickly as her anger flared, it was gone and her gaze fell to the plate. “You did.” Leave it to him to use her past against her.

  “Damn right I did. I loved you, Tess. I still do, but I can’t compete with Devin, and I’m not going to do it anymore.”

  “Then don’t-”

  The ringing of the phone interrupted her sentence and she glanced in the direction of the cordless sitting in the living room.

  “Finish your dinner and let the answering machine get it,” Eric said.

  Tess shook her head and slipped from her seat, racing to beat the answering machine. “It’s the hospital.”

  “How do you know that? I suppose you have ESP now?”

  She shot him a dirty look as she pushed the talk button. “Hello?”

  “Tess, it’s Pam. Listen, I saw on Devin McFadden’s chart if anything happened you were to be notified.”

  A quick pang of panic jetted through her system. Did the killer get to him already? “Yeah, what’s wrong?”

  “He’s suffered a collapsed lung about ten minutes ago. They’ve taken him up to surgery to insert a tube and re-inflate it, but I figured you’d want to know anyway.”

  “Was it on the same side as his broken ribs?”

  “Yeah, they’re going to do an x-ray to see if maybe one of the broken ribs somehow moved and punctured the lung.”

  “Thanks for calling, Pam. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  She hung up the phone, turned and nearly ran smack into the hard wall of Eric’s chest.

  “What’s happened?” he asked.

  She fixed her gaze on him. “Devin suffered a collapsed lung and is in surgery.”

  “How did you know it was the hospital calling, Tess? You couldn’t have seen the caller ID from where you were sitting.”

  She stared at him, unable to answer. “I…um…I don’t really know. Somehow, I knew who it was. I’m sorry, Eric, but I don’t have time for this conversation. I have to go back to the hospital.”

  He touched her arm, stopping her as she passed him. “I meant what I said, before.”

  “I know, but no matter what happened between us in the past, I can’t walk away from him now. Not when he’s injured and alone.”

  Eric’s face twisted with frustration, and he ran a hand through his short auburn hair. “Damn it, Tess, he’s not some lost puppy in need of a home. Do you honestly think once he’s better he’s going to give up the life he has to stay with you?”

  She’d had enough of Eric’s accusations and stepped toe to toe with him. Though she was easily a foot shorter than him, it didn’t stop her from getting in his face. “No, I don’t and I don’t expect you to understand. I care for you, Eric, but like I said when I filed for divorce, I’m not in love with you. Devin and I have a connection. I can’t explain it and don’t really understand it, but I also know I can’t ignore it. If I am destined to be alone, then I’ll learn to live with that. What I can’t live with is walking a
way from him right now.”

  Eric shook his head as he let out a long breath. “You’re right. I don’t understand. All I ask is that you be careful.”

  “I will.” She skirted past him, raced up the steps and threw some clean clothes and toiletries in a bag. If worse came to worse she could crash on the couch in the doctor’s lounge, but she wasn’t going to leave again, until she was sure he would be okay.

  Twenty minutes later, Tess drew a chair up to the side of Devin’s bed and sat. From what she could tell, he appeared to be sleeping soundly, a good sign the medication was easing the pain caused by his broken ribs. He was taking full deep breaths, which was also good. It meant the chest tube was doing its job, and with any luck he wouldn’t develop pneumonia or an infection from his collapsed lung.

  He moved, and a grimace claimed his face while he shifted into another position. She ached for him. It didn’t matter if he’d broken her heart once before. Right now, he needed her, and she’d be damned if he was going to go through this alone.

  Chapter Three

  Tess stood at the bathroom sink and stared at her reflection in mirror, wondering exactly what she’d gotten herself into. The last two days represented a whirlwind of emotion and stress. Since the suspected killer was working in the intensive care unit with her, Tess found herself not only keeping extra vigil on Devin, but also playing the part of undercover detective for Eric and his crew.

  Having to following Mitch around and double check his work without him noticing, hadn’t been easy. But the bigger problem lay in that she hadn’t found anything of consequence which could link him to the deaths in the hospital. Her failure left the team no closer to uncovering the killer than they had been.

  She removed several paper towels from the dispenser, ran them under the cool water and blotted her face. Already more tired than she should be while working, Tess knew she couldn’t continue this routine for any extended period of time. It wasn’t as if she sat behind a desk all day where if she made a typo it could be easily fixed. When it came to giving the correct medication, misreading the dosage could lead to deadly consequences.

  When she pulled the towels away, something flashed in her eyes. Tess gasped and grabbed the sink to steady herself as the room shifted and the light faded. Her eyes began to focus, revealing one of the many hospital corridors. Unsure of what she was seeing, she blinked, yet the corridor remained.

  Still trying to understand how she’d made it from the bathroom to the corridor, Tess surveyed her surroundings. Nurses came and went without paying her much attention. No one seemed to realize anything was wrong.

  The next thing she knew she was moving, walking slowly down the hallway. After a few steps, she realized she was in the cancer ward. She passed in front of the nurse’s desk, waved to one of the nurses on duty, then headed for the room at the end of the hall. She stopped in front of the closed door and reached into her pocket.

  A pounding noise yanked Tess from the moment and she stumbled backward hitting the wall with enough force to knock the air from her lungs.

  “Tess, are you okay?” Casey’s voice carried through the hard wood door.

  Tess gasped and worked to steady her breathing as she scanned the tiny employee bathroom. What had just happened?

  “Tess, answer me or I’m coming in.”

  Her attention darted to the closed door. “Um. Yeah, Casey. I’m fine. I’ll be out in a second. With a quick glanced back to the mirror, she shook off the lingering effects and opened the door, giving Casey a curious look. “What are you doing down here?”

  “I needed some extra equipment brought up from the first floor and asked Mitch to take care of it for me. He said you were on break so I told him I’d cover shift for him until he got back.” Casey cocked her head to the side and appeared to study Tess. “Are you okay?”

  Tess switched off the bathroom light and walked past Casey toward the nurse’s desk. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?” She wasn’t fine by any means, but how could she possibly explain what happened when she didn’t understand it.

  “Because you look like hell.”

  Tess glanced back at her and wrinkled her nose. “Gee thanks a lot, Casey.”

  Casey’s brows smoothed, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You look like you haven’t had much slept is all.”

  Tess plopped down in the closest chair. “Actually I haven’t, well, not much anyway.”

  Casey leaned against the desk, propping one hip on the corner. “I told you sleeping on the sofa in the lounge wasn’t a good idea. It wreaks havoc on the body.”

  Tess shook her head. “It’s not that. I’ve been having some really strange dreams the last few nights, and I guess I’m a bit bothered by them.”

  Casey frowned. “What kind of dreams?”

  “They’re kind of hard to explain, but I remember last nights' had a pit of fire and a dragon in it.”

  The crease in Casey’s brow smoothed. ”A dragon?” The edge of her lips tipped into a smile.

  Tess let out a sigh and leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, I know, it sounds like some sort of twisted fairy tale, but I’m telling you it’s a little disturbing. I rarely remember my dreams, yet the last few nights have been so vivid I would swear they were real.”

  Casey shook her head. “I still say you need to stop worrying about Devin McFadden and go home. His condition has stabilized, and if he continues to improve he’ll be moved to intermediate care within the next few days.” She glanced at her watch. “Damn, where the hell is Mitch. It doesn’t take that long to bring up a couple of blood pressure machines.

  “You’re right it doesn’t.”

  The sound of Mitch’s voice caused both of them to turn their heads. Tess caught Casey’s scowl in her peripheral vision. “So where in the hell have you been?”

  “While I was there, they had a cardiac arrest so I stayed to help.” He walked farther into the room. “The equipment is sitting in the hallway outside.”

  Casey’s scowl softened and she nodded. “Thank you, Mitch. I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

  Mitch shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Casey patted Tess’s shoulder as she headed for the door. “Try and get some sleep tonight. I’m already short-handed and can’t afford to force you off duty because you’re a danger.”

  “I will.” Tess said watching Casey disappear out the door. She only hoped she could sleep tonight without having more of those disturbing dreams. In an attempt to put her nightmares out of her mind, she returned her attention to Mitch. “So what happened with the cardiac arrest?”

  Mitch shook his head. “They couldn’t revive him. The whole situation was sad. Apparently, he was all alone and suffering from pancreatic cancer. From what Tori told me, the man’s wife passed away last year after a stroke, and they never had any children.” Mitch’s features slid into a somber expression. “It’s not right. Somebody should have been there with him in his last moments.” He sighed. “But that’s life, I guess. Oh,” he snapped his fingers. “Tori wanted me to remind you to meet her in the cafeteria after shift today?”

  Tess rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “She wants to harass me over spending so much time here doting on Devin.”

  Mitch shifted his gaze from Tess to the bed across the room where Devin lay and then back. “Why are you so concerned over him? I mean I know he’s famous and all, but it’s not like you’re his personal nurse or anything—no offense.”

  Tess smiled. “No offense taken. Devin and I dated in high school, and well, he doesn’t have family here anymore, so I’m kind of the only family he has. I guess I don’t want him to feel like he’s all alone.”

  “That’s really noble of you. It’s a shame that cardiac arrest patient didn’t have someone like you around.”

  Tess shrugged. “I care about him and until he’s in a little better physical condition, I’m a little worried about leaving him alone.”

  “What, you afr
aid the rest of us can’t care for him the way you do?” Even though there was a hint of humor in his tone, Tess couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. It was a legitimate question and one she needed to consider. Was her motivation for staying simply based on the Angel of Death killer loose in the hospital or was it more personal? “I trust you guys to take care of him, but I think it’s easier on Devin to have someone he’s familiar with being here. If he doesn’t feel like he’s all alone, he’ll be less agitated and will hopefully recover quicker.”

  Mitch arched a brow. “Uh huh. I think you’re deluding yourself. You need to admit you still have feelings for the man.”

  Intent on rebutting his statement, Tess opened her mouth, then promptly shut it again. What he said was true, and she couldn’t argue his point without lying to herself in the process.

  ****

  “So I think maybe it’s time for you to stop worrying about Devin.” Tori said.

  Frustrated, Tess leaned back in her seat and sighed. “Not you too.” She was sick of hearing other people harp on her over her recent change in sleeping arrangements.

  Tori cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, me too. Come on, Tess. You’ve been here since Monday. I understand you’re worried about Devin, but enough is enough.”

  “I promise, Tori. When he’s well enough to move into intermediate care, I’ll go home. Until then, I feel as though I need to be here.”

  Tori folded her arms and rest them on the table top. “Are you sure you’re not using Devin as an excuse to avoid Eric?”

  “Why would I need to avoid Eric?”

  “Because, despite the divorce, he’s never really given up his role as husband and that drives you crazy.”

  Tess rolled her eyes. “Please. Eric and I parted on good terms and are friends now.”

  “Friends?” Tori arched a brow. “Right. And I’m the Queen of England.”

  Tess pushed a thumb to her temple and rubbed her fingers across her brow. First Eric started in on her, then Casey and Mitch, and now Tori. Where exactly was it written that her personal life was open for public discussion? And while she loved Tori like a sister, Tess could only take so much prodding, even from her best friend. “I’m not having this conversation with you anymore. Can we please change the subject?”