by J. G. Sumner
“Do you want to see them?”
My eyes grow wide as I try to figure out how I’m going to see the precious little people growing and living inside of her. “Yes, but how?”
“I have pictures from their ultrasounds.” Kate leans over to the bedside drawer and pulls out her purse.
“Can I help you? I don’t think you should move while in this condition.”
Kate snickers. “I’m on bed rest which allows me to lean over and reach for things. Besides, you don’t even know what’s wrong or what I can or cannot do.”
She’s right. I’m the dick who hasn’t been here for any of this. I’ve missed every single one of her doctor appointments and I’ve missed these babies growing from little beans to almost newborns. “What’s wrong? Why are you here? Are the babies okay?”
Kate fiddles around in her purse before pulling out some photos. “I have what is called abruptio placentae. It’s the fancy medical term for the placenta tearing from the uterine wall. It’s only a partial tear so they’re putting me on bed rest until the end of the pregnancy. They’re also going to continue to monitor the babies to make sure their heartbeats stay strong. If anything happens, I’ll have to deliver them immediately.” Kate hands me the pictures. “They’re in order from the very first ultrasound when you were here with me in the hospital until now. The pictures are in 4D so you can really see their features clearly.”
I move my hand from her belly and take the photos. I slowly sort through them, watching my children grow right before my eyes. It’s surreal. My heart warms knowing that I’m the babies’ daddy. I made them. I fall in love with them right then and there. This is my family and I almost threw it all away for what? Because of my stupid pride? “You knew that you were pregnant with my babies when I left?”
Kate nods, but doesn’t look at me.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t someone stop me from leaving?” I look for the answers in her face, but all I see is hurt, fear, and anguish. One more reminder of what I did to her.
“I was still dealing with the fact I was raped and you may never want me again. How on Earth was I supposed to tell you about the babies and trap you with someone who had sex with others while engaged to you? It didn’t seem fair. I wanted you to want to be with me. The look on your face that day in the doorway was all I needed to know. You were horrified by the sight of me. You couldn’t even be in the same room.” The tears fall from her eyes and roll down her reddened cheeks.
I reach up to wipe away the tears and give her the gentle unspoken reminder that I love her and always will. “Kate, when I got back in your room, I saw you crying. I thought you learned that you were pregnant with Matteo’s baby. I know it’s not right, but that’s what I couldn’t live with. I know what he did to you was not your fault. I never blamed or looked down on you. It was Matteo who was the one who subjected you to all of this. I was just so happy to have you back and safe. I just couldn’t fathom the idea of having to raise his child and have the constant reminder of what he did to you. I panicked and ran like a pathetic kid. I made a horrible mistake—one that I will spend the rest of my days trying to make up for.”
I take her hand in mine. She’s wearing the engagement ring I gave to her. How did I not notice it before? “You kept it.”
She pulls her hand back. “I wished upon this ring every day, hoping that it would bring you back to me.” Kate pauses. “Now that you’re finally here, I don’t know what I want. I just know that I want all the pain and misery over the past couple of years to go away. I want to start my life with a clean slate the day these babies are born. I don’t want them subjected to the shame and sadness that I’ve had to deal with. They should be happy and experience nothing but joy.”
Despite the fact that Kate is civil to me, things are awkward. There is so much left unsaid, too much hurt, and not enough time between us to heal the wounds. I put my hand back on her stomach where I had it before. The babies aren’t moving anymore. “I couldn’t agree more. I don’t want my mistakes to leave a permanent scar on them. Please say you’ll take me back. Let me be the husband you deserve and the father I know I can be to them.”
Kate doesn’t say anything and continues to look away. There’s a storm brewing in her eyes. She’s still broken. I want more than anything to take her pain away. Perhaps now isn’t the time to bring up Matteo. Maybe that’s a conversation for another day. I don’t want to push her too far and risk her health by causing undue stress. “Have you thought of names for them?”
Her eyes light up like a beacon in the night. It’s the same look she used to have for me. Bingo! I hit the magic button. She loves our kids more than anything in this world—just how it should be. “Abigail and Anthony. I wanted to name our son after you. I wasn’t sure if you would prefer Massimo or Tony. I chose to go with the man I first met. I never knew who Massimo was.”
My heart warms. Despite everything, she loves me enough to give our son my name. “I love those names. They’re perfect.” I squeeze her hand. “And just for the record, you did meet Massimo. He was the coward who walked out on you that day. Tony is the one who puts the needs of you and the kids first. I promise to never let Massimo return.”
Again, the awkward silence returns. Kate and I never had this between us before. I’m at a loss as to what to do or say. I really just want to shut the beeping from Kate’s heart monitor off. It’s grating on every last nerve I have like nails on a chalkboard. I want to whisk her out of this place and run away with her, and start all over again. I don’t know if I should reach out and take her hand, or embrace her to let her know she’s not alone in this anymore; that I’m here for her.
I stand up, sit on the edge of the bed, and wrap an arm around her shoulders. She pulls the blankets further up her body as if she’s trying to hide.
“Please don’t.” Kate attempts to pull away.
I squeeze her tighter. “I can’t let you go. I won’t. We’re a family. Anthony and Abigail deserve to have both of their parents.”
Kate pulls my arm away. “We can’t just pick up like nothing happened! You can’t begin to know what I’ve been through while you’ve been gone. I’ve had to go through so much therapy to deal with the fact that I’d been raped, and I allowed it to happen. And there’s the fact that I killed a man. On top of that, the man I trusted implicitly—who I thought would be by my side forever, took off and left me alone and pregnant. You got to run away from everything. I didn’t, and that’s not something I can take lightly or just get over.”
I’ve never heard Kate this angry before, and I deserve every bit of the wrath she’s only just starting to unleash on me.
“Don’t think you can just come back here, see these babies, and think that we can just be a big, happy family. It’s not going to work like that. You betrayed me. You left me. I don’t know that I can ever get over that!” Her eyes scream anger and hurt, but there’s also a glimpse of hope and love.
I stand up, allowing her the space she needs. I hold my hands behind my head and pace in the small amount of space the room allows. “I can’t ever apologize enough for what I did. I may have been running from everything, but believe me, there was never a moment I escaped. I didn’t have to endure nearly what you did, but I did suffer. I’ve been in agony and have blamed myself for everything that has happened to you. If I would’ve just left you alone in Italy, none of this would’ve happened. We wouldn’t be here right now. I’ll always hate myself for what my cousin did to you. I never would’ve guessed in a million years any of this could’ve happened. The only light to this horrible thing is that I still love you, and we have two beautiful babies that we created.”
There’s an eternity of silence before Kate finally speaks. “They are the only thing that’s kept me alive and going. There were so many times that I wanted to end my life, but I had to be strong for these little ones.” Kate rubs her tummy and looks lovingly down at it.
It feels as if a dagger rips through my heart, draining
every drop of blood and causing me to die a slow, painful death. I did this to her. I made it so she contemplated suicide. How can I possibly live with that? I was such a selfish bastard. I never thought about how my actions affected those around me. I can’t imagine the dark place she must’ve been in to be thinking suicide. What would I have done if she actually went through with it? I would’ve been right behind her. I was in the same frame of mind. I just didn’t know it. Jack was my poison and he was leading me down the pathway to a morgue and a coffin. What a fucking waste of air I’ve been. My parents must be looking down upon me shaking their heads in disgust.
“You deserve better than what I’ve given you, but I didn’t choose to fall in love with you, just like you didn’t choose to fall in love with me. For better or worse, we did. Without you, I’m nothing. You’re my light, hope, and inspiration. You make my world a better place to live in. I know I’ve said it before, but I’m going to again. I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life making this up to you and giving you the life you should’ve had a long time ago. I promise.” A surge of energy rushes through my veins, bringing life back into my heart. I have a plan that’s going to get my woman back.
Kate closes her eyes and leans her head back against the mound of pillows. “I don’t know. I can’t worry about that now. I need to focus all my energy on making sure these little ones are healthy. There isn’t time to worry about what you’re going to do or not. If you don’t mind, I’m tired and would like to be alone.”
I approach the only family I have left and kiss the top of her head. “Get some rest. I’ll be back later.”
Kate doesn’t say anything, but instead closes her eyes and settles in for what I hope is a good nap. Lord knows when Anthony and Abigail are born, there won’t be a whole lot of sleeping going on for anyone.
Chapter Six
Tony
Jasper refuses to leave my side. He’s like a stray puppy dog looking for a new owner to love. I can’t shake him any more than I can shake a dog humping my leg. It’s rough, especially when I have things to make right and I don’t need him there supervising.
We head over to Anderson Enterprises. Besides coming face-to-face with Kate, this is probably the last conversation I want to have. There’s nothing like going to your woman’s father and pleading for his forgiveness and begging for respect. If I were him, I’d kick my ass right out the door. I can only hope he has some leniency and understanding where I’m concerned. I promised this man I would protect and provide for his daughter. I let his entire family down.
“Can you at least wait in the lobby? I don’t need you by my side for this.” I haven’t looked at Jasper since we got in the cab. Instead, I’ve stared out the window thinking about my reunion with Kate. It’s not exactly what I wanted, but it’s a start and something to build upon.
“Sure. I’m not here to get in your business. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t dive back into the barrel of whiskey again. Until I’m satisfied, you’ve got a Siamese twin attached to your hip. You had better get used to it.” Jasper gives me a soft punch in the arm with his ring-covered fist. The man wears more jewelry than most women.
I grunt, displaying my gross displeasure of having my own personal nanny.
“So how did it go with Kate?” Jasper is jovial and even happy. I wonder what he and Kendall did while I was with Kate.
“It was fine. I don’t really care to talk about it. By the way, why the fuck didn’t you tell me she was having twins?” For the first time since I got into the cab, I look at Jasper.
“I don’t know, mate. Maybe because you were fragile enough and I was afraid any more pressure might send you over the edge. I wanted my friend back and those kiddos need a dad. Although, you might be a shoddy excuse for one.” Jasper chuckles.
I want to punch him. I want to release all the anger I’ve had pent up inside for the past few months. Even though Jasper can kick the living shit out of me, the last thing I need is to show up to Anderson Enterprises a bloody fucking mess. Instead, I take my frustrations out on the seat in front of me. “It’s dicked. I had the right to know.”
“I think you lost that right when you took off and left the mother to raise those kids on her own.”
His words anger me even more, but he’s right. I don’t deserve to have the opportunity to be their father. For some reason, Kate is having mercy and allowing me to be a part of their lives. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. I’m no longer the sole survivor of the Bertalucci family. The legacy lives on and there is so much I want to teach Anthony and Abigail about their heritage.
We pull up in front of the building owned by Charles Anderson. I pay the cab and make the quick escape to the lobby of the building. Jasper settles in right next to me. We walk in stride toward the elevators. We’re surrounded by businessmen in a rush to get to their offices. Charles Anderson must make a fortune on the rent he recovers from all the companies that lease space in this building.
When we arrive on the top floor, I enter through the glass doors and cross the carpeted floor to the secretary, April. Her face is ridden with surprise as she catches her breath.
“Is Mr. Anderson available?” I hover over the desk so I can see his calendar. My time in the cab with Jasper left me with no patience or desire to screw around.
She looks over his schedule and then picks up the phone. “I believe he has a conference call, but let me see if Mr. Anderson is available.”
I can clearly see his schedule is pretty open today. She’s lying to bide time. I don’t wait for her to finish the call. I know exactly where his office is and decide to escort myself before he has the opportunity to refuse a meeting.
“Wait! You can’t go back there!” April calls from behind.
I don’t stop or slow. If anything, I quicken my pace to get as much time as possible before security is called to escort me out of the building. I knock on Charles’s door before letting myself in. He’s already standing and heading toward me.
“You have a lot of nerve coming in here like this. What the hell are you thinking? You aren’t welcome here anymore!” Charles takes an unexpected swing and lands his fist square into my jaw, sending my head flying back against the door. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth. I move my tongue around and find the source. There’s a big chunk torn out of the inside of my cheek.
My eyes are forced shut and stars form, almost turning my world black. The throbbing of my head and jaw are almost too much to handle. I deserve this. It’s time to take it like the man I should’ve been months ago.
I put my hand against the wall in an attempt to keep from falling and the other is rubbing my throbbing and quickly swelling jaw. “I deserve that.”
“Why are you here?” Charles is poised like a python and ready to strike at any given moment. I need to make sure to leave a safe distance and avoid any further lashings.
“I owe you an apology. I was not the man I promised to be for your daughter. I let your entire family down, and I’ve come to ask for your forgiveness.” The pounding in my head is growing stronger by the minute.
“Forgiveness…Why should I give it to you? You have no idea what’s she’s been through since you’ve been gone. She’s gone through hell and back, thanks to you.” Charles relaxes his shoulders and heads to the mini bar housing crystal decanters of various types of alcohol. He puts the ice in a glass and pours an amber liquid into it.
I want a sip of it—bad. My mouth is watering. I look away. “You’re right. I don’t know. Although I can imagine.” I glance down at the floor thinking about how many times I woke up covered in my own vomit. “It was no picnic for me either.”
Charles takes a sip of the drink and lets out a heavy sigh before slamming the glass down. “I don’t give a shit what you’ve been through. You caused your own problems. All I care about is Katherine’s well-being, and she’s not good. Do you have any idea what kind of mind games that guy pulled on her? She promised to run away with him to som
e island and never talk to her family again in order to save your pathetic life. What do you do the moment she gets back? You hightail it out of here like a goddamned coward. Never would I have thought you could do this to her. I took you in as my own son. I was willing to let you have my daughter’s hand in marriage. I’m not typically a bad judge of character, but I royally screwed up this time. I don’t really have anything left to say, so I’d appreciate it if you would escort yourself out before I have to call security and have you removed.”
I’m a bigger slime ball than I originally expected. I had no idea Kate did that for me. I seriously don’t deserve this woman, but I love her and we were meant to be together. Now, there are children involved and they need to have a shot at having a complete family.
“Sir, you have every right to hate me. Lord knows there’s enough of that going around right now. I made a mistake—one that I can probably never take back. I was a selfish and self-centered bastard. I put my own needs ahead of Kate’s. I should’ve stuck by her after we rescued her. I don’t know how to explain what I did.
“All I know is when I came back to that hospital room and saw the tears in her eyes and you all hovering around and comforting her, I knew she was pregnant with my cousin’s child. I couldn’t ask her to abort it because that baby was part of her, too. Yet, at the same time, all I could think about was having to look at the baby for the rest of my life knowing it was Matteo’s and have the constant reminder that he tainted the most important thing in my life. It’s just something I wasn’t able to comprehend fully or rationalize how I was going to overcome that. So, I ran. I went back to San Diego and began drinking myself to death. If I couldn’t have Kate and the life that we had been planning, I’d be better off dead. I wanted to be numb and not feel anything anymore. I took the easy way out.”
I finally look up from the floor and face the man who took me under his wing and trusted me implicitly. “I think of you like a father. Your family was all I had and I threw it away as though it were garbage. There aren’t enough words to express how truly sorry I am. Just know, if you ever decide to give me a second chance, I won’t let you down again. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect Kate and my kids.”
