by P. S. Power
Outside he held on to Mary's hand, and noticed when Brie moved in on the other side. She took his hand too, which had Bridget glaring at her a bit, for some reason. It wasn't like the woman was hitting on him, was it? Mary didn't seem to even notice the move. Then, a bit of hand holding wasn't all that large of an issue in his world. People did that kind of thing just to try and make sure he didn't have a meltdown.
Mary did the work for them, taking them all back to the base, instead of making him do it. Not that he didn't need the practice, he knew. Honestly, he needed it more now than before, since the constant pain was distracting him. That kind of thing always did, but this just wasn't going to give up. It hadn't been getting a lot worse, but it wasn't going away either.
It was a bit strange, but the second they got in front of the trailer, the white and cream thing looking a bit dusty, Phoebe ran up and kissed him. It didn't help at all, so she kept doing it, until about three minutes later when Sinclair pulled her away. It was embarrassing, but at least Bridget explained to Mary what was going on, and how the girl's power worked.
Again though, Mary hadn't even batted an eyelash. He would have if some guy he didn't know had run up and started kissing her, wouldn't he? Really, he'd felt a bit jealous when Zevros had hugged her, before learning that the man was her son. Rather than comment on it, he turned to her and shook his head.
"I can't believe my mother had never even mentioned me to her new husband. Do you think she just thought I'd never visit? I could have been over for dinner at any time. We lived in the same city, after all." The words got Mary to wince, since she hadn't told him about her son either. Or any other children she might have had. Then, the odds of Zevros ever having just popped in really were pretty minor, what with her living in a different world and all that.
Trivia patted his shoulder. She let her hand linger long enough that Bridget stared at her again, shaking her head.
"Don't take it personally. I'm pretty certain that Braid had Stillness make both of your parents kind of forget about you. So, on the good side they aren't nearly the jerks you thought. On the bad... Well, she's had her hooks in you deeper than you thought. Almost nothing in your entire life has been absent her influence."
"Oh." It wasn't good to hear, was it? His life hadn't been that great, and to find that someone had done that to him on purpose, the whole time... "On the good side I guess I'm only half as lame as I always thought? I get to blame Devorah for the rest of it."
Brian smiled, even as he felt like he was going to die. If it kept on like that too much longer he was going to want to. He didn't let it show, because it was just what had to happen, as far as he knew.
Mary didn't want to leave, but she still had a store to run, and Brian didn't think he was going to be very good company for anyone, for a long time. Kissing her gently he faked a smile, trying not to let anything show on the outside.
"I'll catch up to you later? For dinner?"
"Oh! I should go and see to that. Will anyone else be joining us?" She seemed hopeful, rather than put out about it.
No one else even made eye contact with her. Not because they wanted to avoid her, either, Brian knew. No, it was about the fact that he'd pretty much told them all he was going to die.
Wimps, bailing on him like that. It wasn't like they were the ones that would have to sacrifice themselves to protect innocent people that weren't even born yet. Not to mention the millions that would die that year, starting in a few weeks, if they didn't manage to stop it from happening.
"Nope. Just me. I won't be too long. I'll come and work the store for you? Starting at seven?" That was their pattern. She looked strained though, instead of relieved to have the help.
Bridget looked away, then walked off, her body language stiff. She had to be starving, Brian figured, since he hadn't seen her eat in hours.
She was another one that he needed to have a talk with, before the end. He didn't want to. Just... it would hurt her more, in the long run, if he just vanished one day. She needed to know that he thought she was a good person, and that he'd be watching her, after he died. That was a thing, he knew. People didn't just go away when they died. They became ghosts. That's what the ghost he knew had told him, at any rate.
There were people to talk to about things, weren't there? Somewhere, over the course of fighting for his, and other people's, lives and living amongst all these weirdoes, Brian had actually managed to make friends. Not that he'd say that part about them being strange to their faces. They'd go on about being Infected, rather than taking responsibility for what they were like even separate than that. He was no better, but that was why they were friends, he guessed.
Not that he was going to be silly about it all. He didn't know what would happen. Or, he did, actually. If he let himself relax, the pain would go away as his power fixed reality again, and he'd have a good life. Most of the people around him would too. Idealized things, for a lot of them. Kevin Moore would live about ten more years, then die of natural causes, and Lobo would die in the fighting to come. He was tough, but not able to take fifty caliber rounds to the face.
The rest of his friends would be fine, if he just let the path that Braid made go on. What would happen to them if he did nothing? Brian didn't know. Probably some things that no one would like, in the end. Death and pain, then some of them wouldn't have volunteered for if they knew it was going to happen.
Closing his eyes, he wondered if he should just let Braid win? It... Was what his power was trying to force him to do. That sense of things ripped through him, even though he wasn't resisting the idea yet.
When he opened his eyes, he saw that Mary was gone, and so were Brie and Bridget.
Someday he was going to have to learn Trivia's real name. Standing there alone, he decided not to bother. He'd known her as the book girl, and for a while there she'd represented hope to him. Oh, she'd been the girl that would have never gone out with him, if he'd worked up the nerve to ask, but he'd had hope that he could connect with someone, and eventually be loved. That time was darker than Brian had wanted to admit.
He'd had a dead end job, played videogames, and the closest thing he'd had to a love life was some poor girl that worked in a store, and couldn't avoid him when he came in.
Worse, she'd actually been there to spy on him. Or something. Really, now that he knew what kind of things had been going on in his life, he had to wonder if Braid had sent her there to give him that bit of hope, so that he wouldn't kill himself, or move away from where he was needed to be for her plan to work. In hindsight, things would have been better if he had. Really, if he'd done anything other than what he'd done. Staying in college would have saved the world.
Now he felt lazy, didn't he?
Smiling he got ready to go inside, and see if he could help with any of the work, but didn't get a chance, since Penny was standing behind him when he turned around. She was watching him, and not looking around or pretending she was there for some other reason. She also didn't have a weapon in her hand.
"Brian? Can we talk?" She was nervous about something. That was almost never a good thing. The girl could be shy, retiring, silent, or even a bit harsh, but she wasn't the kind of person to be nervous.
Plus, they had nothing to talk about in particular, did they? Nothing that should leave her feeling all that edgy. After all, she'd been with everyone all day, so it wouldn't be lost on her that they'd all had their memories wiped about what kind of things she'd been doing to them all. A bit of clever theft, taking people's notes about her away, and the only person that would be left that knew about her would be him.
Which, he supposed could make a person nervous, if they didn't know that he thought of them as a friend. If he was going down anyway, there was no real reason for him not to protect the rest of his people by taking her out first. It wasn't that he trusted her not to be a freak either. Just that she... Well, right or wrong, she was one of his people, too.
"Sure. Walk with me? I don't know that anyone
is listening that hard here, but just in case?" It was hard not to limp away, but he didn't let himself. There was no real injury, and everything hurt inside of him, in a way that was too hard to define. Letting that show wouldn't be useful to anyone.
Normally he would have made a crack about how she couldn't break up with him, because they weren't going out, but at the moment that kind of thing just felt too unfunny.
She followed him, dressed up in tan, like he was, and wearing tennis shoes with it, which made all the military people they passed frown. Brian thought it was funny though. They looked like little kids playing at being soldiers, but it looked cute on her. On him it probably seemed like he was giving the regulations the middle finger, but that wasn't the case. There was no official dress code at the IPB. Even when team two had all basically worn the same outfit, it had just been what they'd been given, not something that they had to do. Some of them hadn't at all, like Lauren, who was just so large and armored that trying to make her wear matching boots and a jacket would have been insane.
It was really the same thing there now, except that Marcia had been the one making sure they'd all had such slim pickings to choose from.
They didn't talk for a long time, just moving away from the ruins of their old base, the tents gradually growing smaller in the distance. He waited, expecting her to be angry with him for giving her a hard time. That or worried about Lancaster or having to go into therapy for her problems. Like anyone would be able to remember them? Finally she stopped, and actually managed to shock him.
"Brian... I love you." Her voice was soft. A bit shy sounding, but also subdued.
"Um..." He nearly asked her to repeat herself, but he'd heard the words. "Well, I love you too. I mean, I'm dating Mary, and not going to have sex with you, but I do." It was true, but hopefully she wasn't going to push him on the idea. They were friends, and he really did feel that way about her.
Still, her saying that now was probably a trick, meant to distract him. He looked around then, ready for some kind of attack.
Penny took a deep breath.
"I... Marcia told me what you said, that... One of us might have to kill you? I... Don't think I can. I know that I'm supposed to be the one to do it. That's why she told me. I get that, but I can't. I know she can't either. I'm constantly surprised that you two aren't an item. I get the thing with Mary, but now..."
That last bit sounded weird.
"Sorry, what about Mary?"
Penny gave him a baffled look.
"Well, I mean, it's pretty clear that Braid set that up, too, isn't it? The whole thing. Even how badly you felt and probably the thing with Becky being stuck in your head, keeping you from getting too close to Karen? Or, am I assuming too much? I mean, things would have always been the same between us. My first mode pretty much means I can't be more than a booty call, and I get that you won't do that, but Marcia and you should have been doing it for years... Except that you're dating a woman from a different reality who waited for you, for three decades? Does that really make sense?"
It didn't, actually. He didn't like what it might mean, but he understood what she was saying. The odds of everything else being Devorah's handiwork, and Mary just happening to be there like she'd been, was so small as to be nearly impossible.
The idea didn't sit well with him, but he also didn't think that she'd just been faking her emotions about him the whole time either. He might not be the greatest catch in the world, but he wasn't that bad, was he? Mary...
Well, the longer he considered the idea, the more he really had to figure it was part of Braid's long term plan. Probably to hold him in place. Like a lot of things in his life had been.
Rather than speak about the subject, since he didn't really know enough yet, he looked at her, then gave her a little hug.
"If I wasn't dating anyone I'd totally be up for the occasional booty-call. Then I'd ignore you the next day, until you begged for attention. It's the way I roll." Not in general, but her mode meant she couldn't handle much more direct attention that that. As it was he noticed himself not really looking at her much. She said it made things easier for her, so he did it automatically.
"Yeah? I guess I should have told you earlier then. So, you know, don't make me kill you. Not if there's any other way. I don't think I could live with myself, if I did that."
He turned and looked into her brown eyes. That meant she had contacts in, since her real eyes were blue. Just invisible to everyone else.
"Pen... If it comes down to it, you may have to. I'll do my very best to make sure you don't, but if nothing else is going to work, do it. Take out Braid, too. I don't know how to get that done, so it isn't much of a point right now, and I'm still kind of hoping to survive the whole thing, but if you get the chance, and think it might work, to take out either of us... Do it and don't miss."
After saying that, he turned away, pain flaring through him, but after a minute she didn't even shift. Missing a perfectly good chance to shoot him in the back of the head. He was willing to bet she'd been thinking about it though. She loved him.
That was hard to hear, really. Nice, too.
She loved him, which was one more person feeling that way than he'd ever thought would happen. Even if she just meant it as a friend, which he kind of thought was her real point, it was a pleasant thing to know. Also a thing that might cause them all to die, in the end.
"I... can't do it. Not even if you hate me now."
He had to turn to her then, because it was a weird thing to say, wasn't it?'
"Because you failed to kill me just then, even though I presented a big ol' Brian skull to you and wouldn't have dodged? I can see that, but I have a general rule of not actually despising people for trying to keep me alive. I'm all cute and darling that way." His voice managed to sound it too, which got her to smile, for about five seconds, before looking away.
"No. I mean, because... I guess I kind of raped you? I didn't mean it like that. I swear. Not with anyone! I know I should have asked. Especially with you. I couldn't. It... You know, my mode? I didn't think I could back then. I guess I should have anyway, but what if you'd said no? So, I just did what I always have, and made do with whoever caught my eye at the moment. Except, I really like you. So, yeah. I mean, how can you not hate me?"
Those were good points. Honestly, he should have. Everyone she'd violated should have. The rest of them didn't remember anything about it though, and even when they'd been told, better than half of them had just kind of shrugged. As if it didn't matter. That wasn't even the strange part. She was attractive, after all, and a woman. Men weren't really allowed to talk about that kind of thing, so they pretended it was all cool. Heck, most of them probably thought it was.
Brian sighed then, not feeling any relief from the action.
"That's mainly due to my first mode. You need a friend, so I have to be one to you. No matter what you do. The thing there is that you still have to stop. I mean, really... You're a good looking woman, and can talk to people now. Just walk up to the men you like and ask if they're busy later. It wouldn't actually be that hard for you. Even if you feel shy. If it's too bad, get with Georgia and have her set things up for you. Most of the people here don't remember anything, anyway. That part makes me a bit miffed, but you can't help that your powers naturally ruffie the fuck out of almost everyone. I'm surprised that I remember it at all, frankly." He could normally beat that part of her power, but it didn't happen every time.
Given how scared and angry she'd been at the time, it was odd that he managed to keep track of it, to be honest with himself.
"I... how many times has this happened? That you were caught and made me forget?"
She bit her lips, sucking them into her mouth. Her eyes went so wide he was concerned for a moment her contacts were about to slip out.
"Ahhh... Like what happened? Never. You did walk into my room once, when I was using a vibrator? That was awkward. I'd just thought that you were being polite and not mentioning i
t, later. That doesn't count though, since you were the one that hadn't knocked." It didn't sound like the only thing either, but he didn't push it.
They were both alive, and so was almost everyone else they knew, so it probably hadn't been anything too bad.
He faked a wince, and wrinkled an eye at her, leaving it mainly closed, on the left.
"Sorry. That was rude. I don't recall it though, and you're right, that one was all me." He hugged her, not bothering to be casual about it. He wasn't going to sleep with her, and they'd already said they loved each other, so there was very little use in being coy about it now.
"So, you really don't hate me? I know that... Well, some people would, if I had different powers."
He had to nod at that one.
"Yeah. You get a pass, but that doesn't mean it's right. Really, that you can get away with it so easily makes it worse. You aren't just some girl feeling up a guy in his sleep, where he could wake up and just say no." He waved at the air in front of them. Knowing that had to sound funny. "Or the other way around. Not that it would be cool in my book that way either, but it doesn't make getting consent impossible. If you were the invisible man, this whole thing would have ended up being much different, and not just a little." Of course, in that case Brian probably never would have seen her doing herself while watching guys in the shower.
She'd have been in the lady's changing area, and he'd have never noticed it. After all, Brian had never even been over to that side of things, not being a pervert. That wasn't the point. Not really. The fact that Penny couldn't get consent was perhaps enough of a reason to cut her a little bit of slack.
Then again, the old team two guys couldn't get consent a lot of the time either, being too ugly for women to bother with. They didn't get to rape people because of it and get a free pass, did they? If he was going to just let Penny be on the issue, then what about all those men that he'd killed over the last years? The ones that had simply been pushed so far that they were trying to get what they could from the world, even if it was wrong at the time?
