by P. S. Power
"Wait!" Her voice was a bit panicked sounding, so he froze, looking for the threat.
After a second, she stood, still naked.
"You still need to learn to use your full power. I cannot teach you, not after my lies and wickedness have been uncovered thusly, but I can give you some hints. One of them is that you can go to any world you can imagine. That one took me the better part of a century to understand. All things exist. If you can think of it, you can also find it and travel to that place. It is only that those of my world lack that kind of thing. We do not dream as you do here. I know that isn't much of a parting gift, but I hope it helps you? Also, let me say this, Brian Yi..." She stopped talking then, and looked away, her cute face troubled.
He ached, looking at her, knowing that their love was half a lie, the entire time, but he didn't finish leaving, holding space bent over himself.
When she spoke, it sounded funny though, like she actually believed her words.
"I never loved you, which was my failing, true. Regardless, you are loved. That is so clear to me that it's weighed on my soul for some time now. I was keeping you from that. When this is over, if you still live, don't ignore it. You can have a better life, if you will but reach out and take what is offered."
If she had more to say, he didn't know, since he finished the move back to the base. He had some things there, at her place, but nothing he wanted any longer. As he stood in the middle of the base, in front of the command trailer, he fought to keep himself from crying. It would look weak, and besides, no one else in the world would really care about it, would they?
He went in, trying to smile and not act like a moron. People did break up, and while most of them didn't just find out that their worst enemy in the whole world had set them up in the first place, there were worse ways for things to have gone. What was it future Bridget had told him about Mary leaving? Not to be a cunt about it? Crude, but not a poor plan. Since he felt like lashing out at the world, he could see it as valuable advice now, couldn't he? As much as things hurt, he'd try to manage that, and be strong about it, without acting like only he mattered.
So, when he got inside, he smiled at Wren, and then Penny. She'd said she loved him, hadn't she? Not that they could be together, but it was something, and she probably even meant it. Enough so that she didn't want to kill him. It was more than he'd ever expected from her, he realized.
"Hey Brian!" She seemed happy enough to see him, at any rate. He felt like crap, in more ways than one, but smiled back.
"Hey Pen. Um... Well. I asked Mary about things, like we talked about? It turns out that she was sent by Braid. The whole thing was a lie. So, you know, we broke up."
Marcia had been back in her office, and came out having heard him, making a face. A sympathetic one, he thought.
"Crap. Are you all right?"
Was he? That was the kind of thing he didn't know wasn't it? He nearly shrugged and told them all he was, but instead he shook his head, fighting tears again. The only person that he'd thought had ever really loved him was gone. She'd never felt that way at all. Even if she didn't hate him, it was hard to handle.
"Nope. I don't think I really am. I guess I'll take phone duty tonight? I doubt that I'll be sleeping anyway."
That got Quartz, the Director of the IPB, to walk around the front desk, and hug him. It was a tight thing, and she didn't let go for a long time.
"Screw that. You need to take some time, for yourself. This... I can't believe it. Or, well, I can, but that's just because I always suspect the worst of people. You should go and get drunk or something. Go and pick up some chicks and screw their brains out. Whatever it is you need to feel better."
Now he shrugged.
"It doesn't matter how I feel. I have things to do, and they're too important to let this kind of thing stop me. Maybe it's better this way anyway? I can act now, without distraction. I don't have to worry about what she's going to do." For a second he kind of hoped that had been her real point. That she actually loved him, but that she knew that he needed to be clear and free of concern in order to act.
Except they knew that wasn't the case.
Little things fell into place. Bits and pieces that he'd thought nothing of before, that showed how she'd always felt about him. Like her almost throwing him at other women. Now it was clear that she had done that to get a bit of relief from having to have sex with him herself. There were other things too, and had been the whole time. He'd thought she'd been being a bit shy with him, in bed. Maybe because she was from another world. Now it seemed like it was just because she'd never been all that into it.
Not attracted to him at all.
The best she could say was that he'd been gentle and kind? That wasn't damning, but it also wasn't good, was it?
Shaking his head, he forced a smile, since that was going to be his go to move for a while.
"I've got this here. Don't worry about it. Phones and all that. What's the report on the cell for Shaw?" That was something that needed to be done, wasn't it?
Thinking of it, speaking the words, ached, but even that was better than thinking about Mary.
It turned out that it would be ready by morning. It wasn't that hard to build, but the men making it actually expected to be allowed sleep at night, for some strange reason. That was the way Marcia put it, which got him to smile for real. People did like their sleep, didn't they?
"No problem. It's just practice for other things, anyway. Keeping him alive will take planning though. Get ready for that part. He'll try to force us to kill him. He really isn't wild about being Infected. On the good side, I'm pretty certain he really always was a giant asshole, so we don't have to feel bad about what we do to him. I'm thinking we should give him over to Doctor Burrows. She's been wanting to do some human experimentation for a while. A gene therapy for stripping people of their first modes? I don't know if that would fix him, but we may as well try. Otherwise he'll have to die, eventually, which plays into her plans." He didn't correct that, and say Braid out loud. They all seemed to get he didn't mean Kiko Burrows.
Even the new girl did.
It was hard to tell what she was thinking, but she stood up, her voice a bit thick.
"Right. I'll get some ice cream, and a box of tissues. Then we can sit up all night and cry about things? Or is that too girly for you?" She was really asking him, which he knew was sweet of her.
"Yeah, a bit girly. Besides, that doesn't fit with my current eating disorder." He hadn't really mentioned that one to anyone yet. A few people, Sinclair, but only Penny really seemed to understand. "I'll be fine here, alone. This is just another thing to get through. That's the kind of thing life has made me good at." Which was true, he realized.
Brian was, in the end, prepared to be alone. It was a strength, after a fashion. A thing that he'd never thought of before as being one. He was alone, but that was fine. He wouldn't break because of it.
That thought made him feel a bit better, for a few seconds.
It was creeping up on eleven-thirty, so he sent Marcia and Wendy away. Penny stayed, and when he made up a bedroll behind the large office desk the director used, she laid down next to him.
"Do you want me to kill her? I can get a ride into town..."
She meant Mary, so he rolled his eyes.
"That would be a bit much, don't you think? Me having a bit of a broken heart isn't worth anyone dying over. She was with me, and tried to do her best, even if she didn't really feel anything. There are worse things in the world. No, I'll get over it. People do, I hear. Thanks though. Now, get out of here, before I take advantage of you." He meant it, even though he didn't really feel like having sex. He hadn't cleaned up from being with Mary yet even.
That suddenly felt like a very good thing to do. He explained it though, which got her to make a silly face at him, rather than seem grossed out.
"Good. I'd rather not taste her on you if I get a choice. You go get a shower and I'll hold the fort here."
That hadn't been his reasoning, but he was pretty sure she was goofing with him, to take his mind off of things.
At least she left when he suggested it, after he cleaned up and got back into place. By midnight he was asleep, and didn't wake up until early the next morning, when the phone rang.
"IPB, Brian Yi, what's-" He yawned, and then laughed a bit, hoping it wasn't important. Actually he knew it wasn't really, feeling the path the whole thing was going to take. "Sorry, I'm just waking up. What's the situation?"
"Brian? This is Alan Brown, from the Food Network? We worked together a few months back on the Christmas Special?"
"Holiday Special. Hey, Alan. I was actually planning to get in touch with you later today. To make sure you knew to run the special. Everyone is alive and all that. It's already done too, so it would be a waste not to."
"Perfect! That actually covers about fifteen percent of what I need to get to with people there for. I sort of need to get with the cast of Steinberg and friends, too. If they're still doing the show? I have an idea for a contest program that I'd love to get their help with. I know you aren't a secretary... Is there someone I can talk to about leaving a message for them?"
Brian laughed, actually meaning it. He hadn't thought he'd be able to do that kind of thing yet. The thing with Mary still hurt, and he was sad, but that couldn't let him stop being a good person, could it? If he was one. That thought got him to go silent for a moment, but he used the time to grab a pen and paper.
"Go ahead. I'm pretty certain the IPB secretary outranks me, anyway. I can get with them in about an hour, if they show up for morning exercises. That should end about noon. Can I have them get in touch about then? Or a little earlier?"
"Eleven? I have a meeting at twelve-thirty, your time. No rest for the wicked, and all that."
He nodded, thinking about Jeffery Shaw and legal tortures that could be used, like sleep deprivation. "Good point. I should get your numbers. I need to make some calls today, too. Sorry, just thinking out loud. That isn't the way my normal day goes. Calling people about anything is a treat, I guess." Not his favorite thing, but that went without saying.
He got the message carefully, and repeated it all back, to make certain he had it right. Then let the man thank him a bit too profusely, considering it was just taking down what he'd said.
Still, he had it ready and was cleaned up enough by the time Wendy came in that he could get out front for the morning line up without feeling bad about anything.
That part had suddenly changed a bit, he realized, since Simpson had three other people out in front with him that day. Carl, Jason Montrose, and to his amusement, Hobbs. Brian walked over too, which got the military man to call the others to attention.
That worked, for about half the people, the rest didn't seem to get it at all. It was funny, actually.
Brian didn't let it bug him.
"Good morning. We're meeting here each day for exercise. Simpson here is in charge. These other men, Montrose, Carl and Hobbs, will be seeing to individual training sections. Do what they say. This represents one of the best training teams in the world. Perhaps the history of the world, so don't screw up by not trying." He leaned over and pretended to be looking at Phoebe, who grinned.
"Fuck you, fucking ham fucker!" She sounded happy that morning, so he smiled.
"Good. As long as everyone is on board!" People chuckled, rather than seeming scandalized.
Then they ran.
Brian was already in pain, but didn't let that stop him from spending most of his morning on that single task. He pushed himself hard enough that no one asked him to do anything else, until it was time for hand to hand training. Then he worked with Hobbs, Denis and Bridget. In the end both he and Denis needed to make out with Phoebe, but the girl didn't seem to mind. Den was kind of famous after all, being on television.
That reminded him, so he waved to the others that were needed. Mark, Kerry, Warren, Denis, and of course, Scott. His son. Mary's child, as well.
That got him to take a deep breath.
How was he supposed to explain the whole thing with Mary to him? Was that even a thing that he needed to go into? How could he not? He worried about it, right until the slightly metallic gold colored man walked over, wearing a pair of IPB sweats, rather than a sweat stained and darkened military outfit, like he was.
"Brian. Mom mentioned that Trivia told her that you and Mary broke up? Is there anything I can do for you?" He seemed sympathetic, at least. Genuinely so.
It was better than the slightly narcissistic way he used to be.
"Not at the moment. Thanks though. You should go see her, later. She's still your mother, and the things between us, her and I, they don't have to affect that."
That got a slow nod, but the man just patted him on the shoulder, instead of speaking.
Mark however, looked at him closely, having heard what was said.
Brian didn't let him ask about it. It wouldn't help, after all.
"You five have a conference call with Alan Brown in a few minutes. Then, after that, I could use some help? I need to capture a man, without letting him be hurt. If I can find him, that is. We have an active death warrant for him, but killing isn't the plan for the day." That meant explaining what was, but they all volunteered for the job. Even Kerry did, which he wouldn't have expected at all. The woman might be a bundle of rage inside, but she was sweet to him, and almost everyone else. On the outside, where it counted.
Warren volunteered too, which was cute, and meant as a joke, but wasn't unexpected. Not to Brian. The man always stood up for what was right. Sometimes it was a pain in the ass, but he did it anyway.
That reminded Brian of what Penny had done to the poor guy. He didn't mention it, since Warren had forgotten all about it. That was for the best, most likely. Knowing had caused him too much pain.
"Good, we'll all go in then. Warren can make sure I don't start torturing the assfuck. It's going to be hard, so, be ready. You may have to hit me. If so I promise not to hit you back."
To his credit, Warren just nodded. He'd heard the whole story before, after all. They all had. Hell, Brian realized, most of the world had, if they cared to pay attention. It had been on the news, and everything.
The conference call, which turned out to be a decently happy reunion, meant taking over the front office, while Marcia tried to do real work. It was funny, after a fashion. Several politicians called in, only to be greeted by conversations about cakes, and pastries. That kind of talk was making him hungry, he realized. Then, he hadn't eaten anything that day. Not since the night before. It was tempting to just skip out on it and not bother, but his sucky day of pain and discomfort wasn't really going to be made better by withholding energy from himself, too. On the good side, he doubted having a single sandwich would make him fat.
It turned out that Mary had brought in the donuts that morning, like she had been. Clearly, breaking his heart wasn't enough to get her to pass up fifty bucks in easy IPB cash each day. Not that she shouldn't make a living. He wasn't going to be eating her food though. It was a bit petty of him, but that was kind of the best he could manage for the moment. She'd done what she could, and tried, he thought. In the end though, he was just a job to her. A thing she had to do in order to make Braid happy.
Instead he had a hamburger for lunch, with some soggy fries. Mark sat across from him, looking at the food, and shaking his head slowly.
"This isn't good."
It wasn't really, compared to the kind of thing that Mark would have made. Brian nodded, not really caring that much, anymore. It was important not to be a cunt, as his darling granddaughter had mentioned. Or a little bitch man, which he expected to hear from Becky as soon as she thought to mention it. She'd been avoiding him, he realized, ever since she'd gotten caught molesting him in his sleep. Now who was being a little girl about things?
Still, she saw him in the dining tent and came over, dressed to impress in a rather sexy schoolgirl outfit. It had a littl
e plaid skirt and knee high blue socks. The shirt was tied up around her middle, but the belly piercings were gone. None of it was real, so she could pretty much make herself seem like whatever she wanted.
"Hey, Bri-Bri. So, I heard about Mary." She didn't add more, probably understanding that it would be a bit hard for him still. She wouldn't let him whine or complain, but she wasn't some kind of inhumane monster that didn't think he felt pain. No, she knew that he did, having lived at least part of that with him for a long time.
"Yeah. Well, Braid is behind it. She always was. So, I have a plan. Want to help us take in ex-officer Shaw? After that..." Well, that part of things he needed to do alone, most likely. Not that having his friends around for it wouldn't help, but he had some ideas about what would be needed. If Mary hadn't been lying to him, there at the end.
If anyplace he could imagine was possible to reach... Well, he had a decent imagination, or at least used to. That meant he might have a chance to fix things. There had to be places that would fit his needs, if he found the right spot.
It was going to hurt though, and might just destroy him. His own power would try to stop him, and in resisting it that hard... well, enough pain could kill you, he thought.
So he didn't mention that part out loud to anyone.
Yes, he was surrounded by people he knew. Ones that would, he understood, do whatever it was he needed. Even if they didn't understand exactly what he was going on about now. Most of them probably thought he was still trying to stop their enemies from starting a war.
That was close enough.
That there was more to it than that, at least for him, didn't really matter. That influenced what he had to do, but not what anyone else needed to think about in regards to him. Penny had told him enough about what she was thinking to let him see it was really his problem to solve.
