Finally More: The Evermore Series Book 5

by De Lune, Rachel

  Rationally, I knew this was the best option. I’d been in the house with her, and she still managed to hurt herself. Mrs Fain from the homecare team had said they couldn’t support her any further.

  The brochure had described The Pines as the new specialist dementia wing. It had residence for up to twenty full-time patients, and they had an available space. A line of pine trees serves as a backdrop to the house.

  I hold my breath as I try to walk into the reception area. Key pad doors and a call button prevent me entering.

  I press the button, and the door buzzes open. A lady wearing a bright smile and a nurse’s uniform greets me from behind the desk.

  “Ms Devlin?”

  “Yes.”

  “Lovely, can I ask you to sign in please? Then we’ll be happy to show you around. You’re looking at The Pines for your mother?”

  “I am. She has Alzheimer’s and had a fall earlier this week.”

  “I understand. Can I give you these?” She hands me a catalogue and leaflets. “This is all the information about The Pine, including our tariff.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Maggie, the manager, will be with you in a minute. If you wouldn’t mind taking a seat.” I smile and seat myself in the small bucket chair in the corner of the hallway.

  So far, this place was winning. There wasn’t a stale smell of disinfectant mixed with vomit in the air like the others.

  “Mrs Devlin?”

  “Ms, yes.” I stand to meet the manager.

  “I’m Maggie.” We shake briefly.

  Maggie shows me around. I take note, but all the while hating the thought of seeing Mum in here with the others. “We encourage our residents to be active. That may include joining others during the day, partaking in the group activities, and making use of the guests we invite to entertain them.”

  Maggie leaves the room and moves onto the next stop on the tour.

  “This is another of our day rooms.” We enter a large conservatory type room, flooded with sunlight. People are playing cards together, chatting, having tea. I’m impressed there is still life here. It isn’t a sombre place. For the first time in the last week, a beat of hope thumps in my chest. At closer glance, the age of the patients varies greatly. Some appeared younger than Mum, mixed with the very elderly.

  “We have twenty rooms here, built on a courtyard system.”

  We turn left and walk past several doors that lead to the individual rooms. The door opens to a double-sized bedroom with en-suite bathroom, a simple wardrobe, bed, and chest of draws. An armchair sits proudly in the corner next to a large window.

  The central part of the building is a small, but developed garden with raised beds of colourful flowers and a few small trees.

  I remind myself that this isn’t a prison and is for Mum’s own good. The garden looks nice. Well kept, no weeds or dead plants.

  “The room is available now. I understand that your mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s?”

  “Yes. I believe I have the necessary paperwork from the doctors about the impact of her care and the associated costs.”

  “Okay, we can look at the financials after we finish the tour.” She smiles reassuringly.

  We head back the way we came, but exit through a different path. We pass a nurse’s station, for want of a better word, and then move into a large dining hall. Several round tables fill the space. Snug areas with sofas to the sides are scattered about.

  “Residents are free to come here at any time for hot drinks and healthy snacks. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all served in here. We encourage all residents to attend.”

  The room is empty bar an old man who sits in one of the sofa areas.

  “Oh, excuse me.” A deep, rich voice startles me from behind, and I quickly move to allow him to pass. I watch as a gorgeous man edges around where we stand in the doorway and makes his way over to meet the older gentleman. He’s tall, over six feet, dressed in light blue jeans and a fitted t-shirt.

  “Good afternoon, Aiden.”

  “Hi, Maggie,” he calls back and raises his hand in a wave.

  His dark blond hair is only just long enough for me to tell the shade, but his piercing eyes are the most vivid of blues. He doesn’t miss me watching him and gives a shy smile before talking to the man beside him. My eyes don’t move away, hungry to drink in the sight of him while I have the chance. His square jaw is flecked with stubble, and his complexion looks like he’s just stepped off the plane from a sunnier climate.

  “The complex is a bit of a rabbit warren, but it affords plenty of space for everyone. Shall we?” Maggie inclines her head toward the exit across the hall. I’m still distracted by Aiden who’s solely focused on the man beside him. I wait another minute, still startled by my reaction to this stranger. He glances back at me, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and our eyes lock for a moment. Heat simmers through my body at our connection. He’s sexy and gorgeous all rolled up in a fit and toned body.

  He dips his gaze, and I break my own concentration on him. “Does Aiden work here?” He didn’t look like he wore any uniform, but I was surprised to see someone so young here in the middle of the day. He couldn’t be more than twenty-five.

  “No, Aiden visits his Grandfather. He’s a regular.” She doesn’t say anything more and leads us away from the beautiful boy.

  Maggie invites me into her office which seems to be back near the reception entrance. She was right. This place did test your sense of direction.

  “Do you have any questions?”

  “Yes, a few. My mother is currently in the hospital after her fall. Can I arrange for her to come straight here? I’d get some of her personal items for her room, of course.”

  “Yes. We can have all of that arranged. Also, please remember that the rooms aren’t locked so don’t bring anything too precious. We don’t encourage residents into others’ rooms, but it’s better to be on the safe side.”

  “Okay. Can you give me a breakdown of the finances? I need to look at the shortfall I’ll need to make up. I’m in the process of receiving power of attorney as well.”

  “That will make things easier in the long run. Many of the relatives make that decision at this time.”

  I nod.

  Maggie smiles. She’s proficient and polite. I like her. It wasn’t just the lack of revolting smell in the corridors. I like the feel of this place and what I’d seen. It was fortunate as it was also the last place on my list of options. I didn’t feel like I was sentencing Mum to life in a care home. Rather, she’d be able to enjoy life in a different environment here. A safe one, where her needs would be a priority and she’d have twenty-four-seven care, my primary concern.

  The little beat of hope from earlier now fills me with confidence.

  I am doing the right thing.

  With the worry of how I was going to care for my mother now handled, I didn’t need to panic. I can cope with guilt and weigh the pros and cons of my decision all day. But the decision has been made. I could address the other aspects of my life that I’d neglected the last week. I’d need to make some adjustments in my life to fit my new priority, being available for my Mum.

  Sarah had texted me every day since last Friday. I responded a few times explaining I had some family problems to handle, but she didn’t drop the texts.

  She had a habit of becoming quite clingy after a scene, but things had escalated in the last few months reminding me why I don’t have a permanent partner. Sarah and I had been together for longer than most of my past submissives, and although I wanted to make sure her needs were met, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fulfil them to the level she desired. She wanted more and wasn’t listening. I would make sure she understood where I stood. With Mum, my whole life was now being reassessed. It was the perfect opportunity to make a clean break.

  I’d already spoken to Andrew. He was an unattached Dom at Solace. He was compassionate and experienced. He’d been looking for a permanent submissive for so
me time. Sarah hadn’t liked the idea of playing with other partners when I was available. I hoped she would change her view. On paper, Sarah and Andrew match perfectly.

  I walk through the lobby of Solace and head straight to the snug. Andrew and I would go over a few details before we met with Sarah. She didn’t like the idea of talking with a new Dominant even after I’d explained my situation to her on the phone. Her reaction wasn’t a surprise. Her stubborn behaviour hadn’t changed since we last spoke. Her growing dependence on me had to end. I didn’t have the mental capacity to be concerned over someone else other than Mum, and I doubt I’d be back to Solace until I had everything settled.

  Andrew, his ankle crossed over his knee, waits for me in one of the wing-back chairs. He’s a handsome man. Dark hair, with a few salt and pepper flakes at the temples and olive skin that makes him look like he’s just returned from a holiday in the sun no matter what time of year it is.

  “Natasha.” He stands to greet me, stretching to his full six-foot height.

  “Andrew. Thank you for this.”

  “It’s no trouble. I’m sorry to hear about your mother.” We both take our seats.

  “Thank you.” I didn’t want to think about that now. I push the doleful thoughts to the back of my mind to focus on Sarah. “Sarah is a wonderful submissive partner.” I start.

  “I can hear a ‘but’ coming, Natasha.”

  “But, she wants more than I can give her. She hasn’t wanted to entertain the idea of playing with anyone else. My withdrawal from Solace might change that. Her growing attachment is unhealthy.”

  “The last evening, I saw you?”

  “Yes. She’s pushing for more.”

  “I’ve seen some of your scenes. She certainly responds to you.”

  “She is desperate to please, and if you let her, she’ll push herself too far to gain your trust and praise. You’ll need to watch for that. She isn’t into pain, but enjoys impact play and is happy with a soft flogger. Of course, her limits will be yours to discuss with her.”

  “Indeed. And how does she feel about a male Dominant?”

  “She doesn’t have a preference that she’s told me. She’s played with other men.”

  “Okay. How much does she know about the meeting tonight?”

  “I’ve been encouraging her to seek you out before now. She’s refused. I’ve explained my current situation and told her she needs to make a choice.”

  “Okay. Did you see her outside of Solace?”

  “No. Although she’s been pushing for that over the last few months.”

  I take Andrew in and read his body language as he considers the situation. Andrew is like a leopard. He assesses the scenario, reads the landscape, and only attacks when he’s within striking distance. He’s been at Solace for several years. He helps with the demonstrations, is there to support his fellow Dominants, and steps in when required. I didn’t know his full back story, but it was a mystery why he was still unattached.

  “If you’ve been with Sarah for such a long time, why are you handing her over to me? You say she’s grown attached, but I can’t understand why you can’t explain your situation to her?” His look tells me he’s trying to fathom me out. I’m an unsolved puzzle to him. The opposite of what he’s like. I’ve avoided long term, serious commitments, preferring to keep my relationships focused on the D/s dynamic rather than the emotional ones that seem to be blooming all over the place. First Seb, now Luc. Andrew would join the list if he could only find the right submissive. My hope was Sarah would be good for him and show him the commitment they both wanted.

  I choose to avoid his question.

  “I’ll explain the situation to Sarah again and see how she reacts. My guess is she’ll be both upset and pissed off. She won’t want to make me think she’s hurting, but she will be. She might not want to even try a new Dominant. That’s her call, but if she does, please give her some time.”

  “Don’t worry, Natasha. I’m in no rush.” He steeples his fingers and sits back, emphasising the very fact.

  I head to the bar and order us both a sparkling water. If, and it was a big if, Sarah wants to play, I didn’t want us drinking.

  Right on time, Sarah joins us, bare foot and wearing a slinky halter dress. It showed off her ample curves beautifully. I watch Andrew as she approaches and know he finds her attractive. His eyes run over her like he’s just seen water in the desert.

  “Thank you for meeting us, Sarah.” We both stand to greet her.

  “Of course. I’m sorry about your mother.”

  “Thank you. But tonight, I’d like to talk about you and meeting your needs.”

  “You don’t need to worry about that, Miss Natasha. I understand that I may have to practice my patience, but I know the reason for it, please,” Sarah launches herself into a sentence that proves difficult to decipher.

  “Slow down, Sarah. As your Domme, it’s my responsibility to look out for your well-being, and I take that seriously. We’ve already talked about you playing with other Doms. It’s clear that we want different things from our interactions. I think it would be best if we didn’t play any longer.”

  Sarah gives me a look that tells me she wants to argue. I tilt my head and stare into her eyes. I watch the argument on the tip of her tongue retreat as her shoulders lose their tension. My answering smile relaxes her further. We take our seats, and Sarah slinks to the floor and rests her knees on a soft pillow.

  She can’t hide her curiosity, and she peeks up at Andrew from behind the curtain of hair hiding her face.

  “So, Sarah, this is Master Andrew. We’ve already spoken about him. I think that your needs will match very nicely with him. He’s been looking for a permanent submissive for some time, and I know that’s something I’m not able to offer. I’d like you to get to know him. It’s up to you both to take it from here, if you’re willing?”

  Her eyes show confusion, but there is a definite nod of her head. It’s a far better response than I’ve had in the past. I wasn’t sure if Sarah would even acknowledge him.

  “Good. I’ll stay and watch tonight. I’m not sure when I’ll be back at Solace.”

  The other submissives I play with at Solace are all on a scene-by-scene basis. Sarah is the only one I’d seen in a longer-term arrangement. I’d set up and arrange partners to meet with other Doms on other occasions, but I could feel that the break I was hoping for wasn’t registering with Sarah.

  I knew she’d be hurt. She would see this as a rejection, and to a certain extent it was. But I couldn’t stay when it was growing ever clearer that we wanted different things.

  “Sarah!” I put some bite into my voice, and her head shoots up to look at my face. “Good. I want to make sure you show Master Andrew the same level of discipline.”

  “Yes, Miss Natasha.” She smiles at me and then at Andrew.

  “Sarah, I’d like us to talk for a little while. Come.” Andrew stands and offers his hand to help Sarah up. She takes it without a second’s thought, and Andrew leads her off. They go further into the snug, and Andrew seats them on one of the small sofas. The lack of space in the room forces Sarah’s attention on Andrew.

  I give them some space and go downstairs to visit with others.

  The familiar pulse of the heavy base music seeps into my bones as I draw closer to the playroom. It’s still early, but several people are making use of the space. The spanking benches are empty, but a woman is tied to the four-poster bed next to the stage, squirming in delight as her Dom tortures her with a cat.

  A few frequent visitors sit at the bar area, talking amongst themselves.

  The way I feel toward this place has changed over the last year. I hadn’t realised it until today, but I feel jaded. I’ve been the same Domme, the same woman, for the last fifteen years. Nothing in my life has changed, apart from the faces that visit Solace and my friends finding their partners. It was only a week ago that I was happily demonstrating with Sarah, focused solely on how I could bring her
pleasure that would gently push her boundaries.

  I need a break. And more than a few weeks.

  I march through the rest of the playroom and head back to the stairs. I spy Charles on the peripheral and give him a courteous nod. A few others I recognise, but not enough to stop and say hello.

  When I reach the snug, I slow my pace and peer in so to catch a glimpse of Andrew and Sarah without either realising I’m watching. Sarah nestles next to Andrew. If she were a kitten, she’d be purring loudly with all the visual attention Andrew is bestowing on her.

  That is what I wanted for Sarah. Someone who would put her and a relationship with her first. I was more than happy to do scenes and play, but aftercare was about as far as things went.

  Andrew gently strokes Sarah’s hair, running it through his fingers. He isn’t intimidating her. He’s allowing them to form a connection which will set the foundation for any future scene. We are very different, but it appears Sarah is enjoying his company. I step into the snug, making my presence known. I’d have thought Sarah would try and pull away. But she is perfectly happy in Andrew’s arms. He holds her firmly in place, not allowing any space to grow between them. Good job.

  “I just want to check back in with you both. I’m going to have another drink and then call it a night.”

  “Great. Sarah was just telling me a little about herself.” Andrew doesn’t give her an inch to move, and as I smile, I see Sarah relax and give in to his strength.

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  “No, we’re good, thank you.” I nod and head to the bar and perch on the stool. I order another sparkling water and sip the liquid as the bubbles pop and fizz in the glass. I stay at the bar and keep my back to Andrew and Sarah. It’s clear that Sarah doesn’t need me as a chaperone. Even if her first reaction to the idea of another Dom was negative, the reality of being without one must have dawned on her. I’d let things go on for too long with Sarah. It had been a mistake I can see all too clearly now. I’m lucky that the introduction went well. It could have easily backfired. Now I could focus on my other responsibilities.