“Edwardian, perhaps? Brilliant set diamonds.” Peter concentrates, the corners of his eyes creasing as he looks closer.
“Yes. Or, that’s what I bought it as.” I move closer, so he can see the piece. “Aiden said you used to work with diamonds?”
“Yes. A long time ago now. I was in Antwerp before moving to London. We retired early and moved to Bath when Aiden was going to secondary school.”
“Aiden mentioned you were a diamantaire.” Specialising in antique jewellery I couldn’t help feeling lucky about talking with him about this.
“Yes. Although my hands don’t thank me for it.”
“But you aren’t Jewish?”
“No. It is unheard of not to be Jewish or Indian and still work with diamonds.” He nods, raising his bushy eyebrows at me.
“Of course. I’m sorry.”
“We seem to be off topic. You wanted to talk about something?” His eyes crease again, fighting with his memory to recall what we were talking about. He thumps his fist into the paper in his lap.
“We were talking about Aiden. But it’s okay. We can speak about anything you want.” I try and calm my voice, not wanting him to feel pressure to remember.
“That’s not the point,” he snarls.
“The point?”
“It’s my memory, deary, one minute it’s there and the next I’m struggling to recall what I was just talking about.” He sounds so angry. Nothing like the man with whom I was just talking. His frustration is so real, manifesting inside of him as he battles with this horrible disease.
“I care a great deal for Aiden. He’s special to me.”
“Special? You seem a little older than Aiden.” He gives me a questioning glance.
“Well, I can’t disagree with you there.”
“Oh, don’t listen to me.” He waves his hand at me. “That’s for Aiden to decide. He’s always had a strong mind. Always followed what he’s wanted to do in life. We’re very proud of him.”
“What does he do?” Suddenly my curiosity can’t take it. I want to know what’s made Peter so proud.
“Natasha, I wasn’t expecting you.” Aiden interrupts us.
“Aiden, hi. I wanted to pay Peter a visit.” I stand up and can’t help but feel awkward at visiting without permission.
“Sure. Grandad, I’ll be back in a moment. I’m just seeing Natasha out.”
“Right-ho.”
He cocks his head, telling me it’s time to go. He doesn’t move from his stance at the doorway, forcing me to turn and brush against him to exit. I immediately take in the scent of him, clean and fresh and familiar. Yearning flourishes but I bite it back. Aiden and I were long past just the physical aspect of our relationship.
He follows me and presses his palm into the small of my back. He steers me to reception and signs me out.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I didn’t think you’d stoop so low as to involve my grandad.”
“There’s no game here, Aiden. I spent the last few months visiting here and getting to know you as well as your grandad. I wanted to come and say hi.”
“And ask about me?”
“A little.”
“And you couldn’t have just asked me instead?”
“I could have. But I also wanted to visit. I didn’t come here wanting to find out something in particular. Just hear about you. We talked diamonds as well.”
“He would have noticed the ones you’re wearing today. It’s a beautiful necklace.”
“Thank you.” I finger the pendant and turn my attention back to Aiden. “You left me without time to respond, yesterday.”
“Part of me wasn’t ready for another rejection.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, suddenly looking much younger and more vulnerable than a moment ago.
“It’s not about rejecting you. We both know this is something serious. But I have reservations about what that may mean for you versus me.”
“Do we have to answer everything now?”
“You wanted all in.”
“So, you’re agreeing?”
“I’m saying that you need to be very clear about what all in means for you. I didn’t have any desire for a family, kids, or even marriage before you. That hasn’t changed, and your age...”
“Don’t start…” He balls his fists and takes a step back.
“Listen to me, Aiden. Your age will mean family, kids, and marriage with the right woman. It’s a very obvious choice for you. And I don’t think you’ve given it the consideration it needs.”
“So, you’ve already made up your mind, despite what I may or may not say.” He pins me with a hard stare. His blue eyes cool and stern.
“No, but I don’t think you’ve thought this through.”
“I can’t win with you, can I?” He shakes his head and walks back to the home.
We were going around in circles. What was a small factor in the beginning has grown into this huge wall that stands, looming over us.
I walk back toward my car and see a familiar blue one, idling in the car park. As I reach mine, she pulls away and off the premises.
Sarah popping up like some weird stalker isn’t something I had to add to my ‘sort a solution’ pile.
Aiden, keep an eye out for Sarah. She’s been lurking around recently. Be careful. Natasha
Lurking? What do you mean? Are you ok?
I’m fine. Just keep an eye out, and I’d appreciate it if you let me know if you see her.
Andrew, please contact me. We haven’t discussed Sarah, and it’s getting to be a matter of urgency. Call me. Natasha.
By the time I’m home, I’ve still not heard from Andrew. He should have called me by now. It wasn’t like him to ignore calls and text messages that concerned his submissive.
Instead of talking things through with Aiden, I call Sarah.
“Hello?” A timid voice squeaks through the line.
“Sarah, it’s Natasha. We need to talk.”
“Of course. Um, what do you want to talk about?”
“Cut the innocent act. I know what you’ve been doing. I’ve seen you. I watched with my own eyes as you came out of my house. I know what car you drive.”
“What… what are you talking about? I haven’t been doing anything. And I need to apologise for how I acted at your mother’s home. I was upset.”
“Upset? Sarah, you broke into my house and went through my things. You’re lucky I didn’t phone the police.”
“No, no… I wouldn’t have done that.”
“I saw you. Just like I saw you at The Pines blocking Aiden’s car.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve done nothing like that. I’m not sure what The Pines is. Is it a new club?
“Club? No. Why would I need a new club?” I was losing my patience with her.
“Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps because you’ve been through every submissive at Solace and tossed them aside like they weren’t worth your time anymore? Perhaps because you’ve hurt people and imposed on people and finally, you’ve been seen for the witch you are?”
“Excuse me, where do you…”
“Oh, don’t try and order me around. You’ve made your position clear. I wasn’t good enough for you. After a year of sacrifice, it still wasn’t enough. The great Miss Natasha could never be tied down to a single person. She couldn’t actually care for someone. Not beyond the scene she was currently starring in, anyway.”
“I can hear you’re angry, Sarah. But that doesn’t give you the right to be stalking me.”
“Stalking you? Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re mad at me and want to scare me? I saw you leaving my house. How did you get a key?”
“I’m way past angry. You humiliated me by bringing that boy to Solace. You told me you didn’t have time for a relationship. That your priorities had changed.”
“They had. I’ve barely been to Solace since my mother was moved to the home.”
“But you’ve had
time to find a new submissive.”
“Sarah, it wasn’t like that, and you know it. Things would have ended between us even if I could still visit Solace. We spoke about this.”
“No. You’re just choosing to believe your own version of events.”
“Where’s Andrew? Finishing things between us was for the best. You and Andrew are a great match. But if something isn’t right, you can discuss it with him. It needs to be what you both want.”
“I don’t love Andrew. I love you!” Her scream pierces my ears and silences the conversation.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I loved you, too.” I make my voice as soft as possible.
“No, you didn’t. Not the same way. You loved me as a Dominant would love their submissive. I was in love with you.”
“It was never my intention to hurt you. I’m sorry. I knew I couldn’t offer what you needed.”
“See, there you go again. What was right for you. Well, it’s too late now. You’ve got to live with what you’ve done.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I don’t believe I’ve done anything wrong.” I think back over the time Sarah was my sub. I knew she wanted more from the relationship than I could offer. Plus, there were signs she was growing too attached. The relationship did need to end. And then my priorities changed. I didn’t anticipate finding a submissive who I’d fall in love with at an Alzheimer’s care home. That was never my intention, nor something I could even dream up.
“Well, it’s too late now.”
“What does that mean? Sarah? Hello?” The line goes dead, and with it, panic races to my chest. Her veiled threats wouldn’t have concerned me if she hadn’t already been in my house or been stalking me.
Sarah’s erratic behaviour just compounds some of the fears I have regarding Aiden. If a relationship that is governed by the rules of a BDSM scene could turn as sour as the one with Sarah, the scope for things to go south with a regular, everyday relationship with Aiden was enormous.
How am I meant to meet Aiden’s needs as a girlfriend as well as a Dom? And by expanding our relationship would I be jeopardising or changing the way I see him and treat him as a submissive? I naturally want to control, care for, and ensure his needs are met. That is clear within BDSM. Would I be able to learn to separate the two?
I shake my head free of the silly nonsense that Sarah has sparked and make a cup of coffee. Sarah has gotten to me, which may well be part of her plan.
One thing I haven’t counted on is realising I’m in love Aiden. It might not shift the obstacles in our path, but I can recognise what I feel for him. It wasn’t the same as the partners I’d been with in the past. It was more than just loving them for their submission.
Aiden had invaded my senses and filled my mind. With every step of our journey, I’d fallen deeper for him without even realising it. My feelings had flourished and developed into something which I wasn’t even aware. Until now. My love for him had grown to be a part of my soul, as natural as the very blood running through my veins.
Love.
A new kind of love for me. One that ran deeper in my heart. One that meant more than all the others. One that cuts through the grief and sorrow that has prevailed over me since Mum passed.
Love was warmth and familiarity, excitement and laughter. If you give the thought room to expand, it consumes your body and runs to the very tips of your fingers, giving you an inner strength you never realised you possessed.
I’m sorry about today. I’d like to meet. Friday night at Maddison’s? Natasha
Is everything alright? Has something happened with Sarah?
Everything is fine. But I want us to talk.
Do you think we’ll get anywhere with talking, or are we just going to go over old ground? You need to decide. You know how I feel.
Just meet me at Maddison’s. 7pm. Miss Natasha
Maddison’s is bustling when I arrive, unusual for so early on a Friday night. The warm summer evening has brought an unlikely large crowd who collect on the small patio area outside the main bar section.
I’ve reserved an intimate table for two in a secluded area. I order a bottle of Sancerre.
The red satin dress I’m wearing shows plenty of cleavage and cinches in at the waist before coming to rest high on my thigh. It commands attention when I wear it, and I need to ensure all of Aiden’s attention is on me, tonight.
I sip the dry wine and wait. I already knew Aiden isn’t as punctual as I like in a submissive. But as we need to discuss the very topic of our future, I can’t hold it against him. Yet.
I drum my fingers against the tabletop, waiting for Aiden to appear. We both know we have unfinished business to discuss, and this time I won’t let Aiden leave without being crystal clear as to my own intentions. I won’t let him upstage me.
By 7:15 p.m. I’ve finished one glass of wine and am growing uncomfortable. The busy atmosphere I’d encounter before has started to quieten. I pour my second glass and sit back.
“Well, hello. You’re a sight for sore eyes. Can I buy you a drink?” A stocky gentleman in an ill-fitting suit approaches me.
“No, thank you.”
“Oh I’m sure one drink won’t hurt.” He persists.
“No. Thank you. Now, if you don’t mind.” I flick my hand, indicating I want him to move along.
“Arrr, don’t be like that, sugar.”
“I suggest you leave me alone unless you’d like to be removed. Please go.” My voice hardens, and he finally pays attention.
“All right, all right. I can take a hint.” He puts his hands up and backs away.
“Jees,” I mutter to myself under my breath and take another mouthful of wine.
“Someone might think you aren’t in the best of moods? Am I still welcome?” Aiden looks at me, waiting for my answer. His fitted t-shirt pulls against his chest and biceps and gives a delightful silhouette to his upper body.
“Of course. You’re the one I’m waiting for.” I give him a sly look and glance at my watch. If he were this late in the future, I’d be sure to turn any pleasure into a punishment.
He pulls out his chair and takes a seat. “You look gorgeous. But you already know that.”
“It’s nice to hear it though, Aiden. Thank you.”
The attraction that we first felt for each other is present, but instead of the carefree and easy friendship, a band of tension runs between us.
“You wanted to talk?” Aiden’s right to business.
“Yes. I think we need to understand a few more things about each other before we declare ourselves. But that’s just me.”
“Okay. I already know a fair amount about you.”
“But I don’t know enough about you. Like what you do? You spend so much time with your grandad I assumed you must have a bar job or something flexible to afford you the time during the day.”
“Interesting assessment,” he scoffs.
“Well, would you care to put me right?”
“Nice of you to ask. I’m an artist. A figurative painter, actually.”
“An artist?” Of every possible job option open to Aiden, that wasn’t what I was expecting.
“Yes.”
“And you make a living from that?”
“Try not to sound so shocked, Natasha. Yes. I do well for myself, and I have the ability to look after and support Grandad the way he deserves.”
“So, you paint. And draw?”
“Yes.”
“Full time? Nothing else?”
“No. I just finished a collection that I sold to a gallery in London. My agent has already had interest for the next collection I’m working on.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know why you’re finding this so hard to believe. I’m good. I was picked up straight from University and have been fortunate enough to make a living from it. I might not have a portfolio of businesses like you, but I’m doing something I’m passionate about.”
“That’s great. Honestly, it is. It’s just a littl
e surprising to hear. Although it does make things fall into place now.” I think back to the trip in Edinburgh. “So, you paint portraits?”
“And figures. Nudes, mostly.”
“Nudes?” Suddenly the thought of Aiden staring at naked women for his job wasn’t at all comfortable.
“Yes. I know you work in antiques, but surely you’re familiar with figurative art.”
“Of course,” I snap.
“Look, I’ve let you take the lead in our relationship. I’ve submitted to you. That doesn’t mean you can sneer at my profession or be uncomfortable with what I do. I want us to be equal in this relationship. I may have done whatever you said before, but I’ve learnt my lesson.”
“I see. You know that I’m a Dominant and that won’t change.” No matter what my heart tells me, Aiden needs to know that I won’t change for him.
“And neither will I. You know who I am. You’ve discovered a part of me that is reserved only for you.”
“How do you know that?”
“I might be young, but I know what I want.”
“And what’s that?”
“You.”
The tension between us combusts into full-bodied lust. We both want each other, but we’re both cautious to make the first move. I take Aiden’s hand and make sure I command as much authority as I can hold in my voice. My eyes seek his.
“You want all in? I want to know what that means for you because for me it means we’re committed to each other and no one else. You are my submissive. You might want to look after me and play the male hero, but that will only go so far. I’m a Dominant through and through, and I’ve never had a full-time relationship that mixes both a regular relationship with D/s. We might screw up. You know the complications our ages present, and I still don’t think you’ve given that the due consideration necessary. I can’t promise a happily forever with you. But I do love you, and I want to see if we can make this work.”
Finally More: The Evermore Series Book 5 Page 19
