Who I'm Becoming

by S. Q. Williams

***

  Lina was the same old typical, annoying bitch as usual. After the show, she tried inviting me to some party. I didn’t like her at all. She was fake… inside and out. She was a plastic bitch, and frankly, I didn’t do plastic bitches, but the show went well, and surprisingly, she didn’t ask any off the wall questions I wasn’t expecting. The fans were pleased. Ben was pleased. That’s all that mattered.

  On the way back to Virginia, I was completely drained. I really couldn’t figure out how I was still keeping my eyes open. Just as I adjusted in my seat, my phone buzzed in the cup holder.

  It couldn’t have been anyone important… nothing was more important than a quick snooze at the moment. But I picked it up anyway. The number was one I didn’t know, and there was a text message.

  Text: Saw you on Lina Lives… Can’t believe you boys actually dealt with her.

  I frowned. Who the hell was this?

  Me: Who is this?

  Text: Take a wild guess…

  I scratched at my eyebrow.

  Me: Um…

  Text: Rhymes with Corinne… LOL… do you seriously give that many girls your number?

  I laughed. Wow. It was her.

  Me: Lauren… Princess… Should’ve known it was you. Then again I couldn’t have cuz you never text me so I could save your number. “Too busy” for me.

  Lauren: I was busy. And don’t call me that.

  Me: I like it. Why not?

  Lauren: Far from a princess… that’s why.

  Me: Please. You’re royalty to me.

  Lauren: I’m blushing.

  I laughed, which caused Roy to stop scribbling down lyrics and squint his eyes at me. “The hell is so funny?”

  “None of Roy’s business.” I returned my attention to my phone.

  Me: Already in the states?

  Lauren: Yep. In Cali. Should come this way. I hear the band isn’t booked again for another two weeks.

  Me: So… what are you saying? You wanna spend those two weeks… together?

  I was teasing, but it took her a while to respond.

  Lauren: I just wanna have fun.

  Me: Fun it is.

  Lauren: I’m in Los Angeles at the Eros Greek Hotel. Booked a king sized bed... ;)

  At the sight of the winky face, my smile stretched even further. And all of a sudden I was horny. I wanted so badly to tell the pilot to turn this jet around and drop me off in LA, ASAP.

  “Okay… seriously, what the hell is so funny?” Roy asked, looking from me to my phone. “Who are you texting? It better not be Kelsey. I told you to stop fucking with her. You know how insecure she already is.”

  I flipped him off. “I’m not bothering Kelsey.”

  He grumbled something I didn’t care to understand.

  With a large grin, I sent:

  Me: I’ll be there. Be ready for me.

  She didn’t respond, but I really didn’t need her to. I was going to show up at the hotel, and we were going to have fun, doing whatever the hell it was she wanted to do. I was psyched for another dip in her bowl of sugar. I just hoped she took my words seriously. She needed to be ready because I was coming, and I was coming with a fierce and loaded hard-on.

  LAUREN

  Five

  It was fun teasing and flirting with Montana via text messaging the past twenty-four hours, but as soon as I got the text from him saying he was boarding his flight, my heart felt like it stopped beating.

  I was nervous as hell. I’d avoided him in Paris the last two days because, for one, I was embarrassed about being drunk and dancing on that pole, and two, I really needed to keep some kind of distance between us, even though I’d agreed we were only doing this for fun. To me, “for fun” meant way more than it seemed. But knowing that he was coming to California and staying for two weeks just to be with me and to have “fun” kind of threw me for a loop. In all honesty, I was terrified. I didn’t want anything to go wrong, and I damn sure didn’t want to ruin his time here. I had to be welcoming. I had to just… live.

  So, after I gathered all my makeup and stuffed it back in the bag, I looked into the mirror and sucked in a heavy breath. I kept it trapped in my lungs for a few seconds and then released it, feeling some of the weight lift off my chest.

  “It’s just for fun, Lauren. You’re overthinking this. He’s a crazy guy,” I muttered to my reflection. Yes, he was crazy, but he was also charming and witty and downright sexy. What girl wouldn’t be able to get at least somewhat attached to him after two weeks?!

  After getting dressed, I finally came to the conclusion that two weeks was way too much time for us to spend together, even if it was just for fun. A week max would do, and he had to get his own room so we wouldn’t spend every moment together. We still needed space. I needed space.

  Montana arrived in less than an hour. After I pushed my boobs up in my bra and fluffed my hair, I quickly glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked composed and then hurried to the door, pulling it open just as he was about to knock for the third time.

  His head was down, but as the door creaked, he slowly lifted it, and his beautiful, icy eyes met mine. They were low and lazy, and as much as I couldn’t stand someone who religiously smoked pot, the high look looked way too good on him. Licking his lips slowly, he brought an arm up and reeled me into him for a smooth hug. As my chin touched his shoulder and I inhaled his woodsy scent, he murmured in my ear, “I’m hard as shit now. You know you can’t wear clothes like that around me.”

  I pulled back, smiling bashfully as I lowered my gaze to my busty red dress and gold pumps. “I’ll consider that a compliment. Come in.”

  He stepped past me, taking a look around the spacious hotel room. I shut the door behind him and lingered in front of the door for a moment. I briefly closed my eyes, listening as my heart pounded in my chest. What the hell was I so nervous about? This was insane. We’d already had sex … but there was something about being sober and fully alert around him that gave me a bit of anxiety. I was in my own consciousness, and nothing was aiding my bad-girl behavior. It was thrilling, yet completely terrifying.

  “Nice room.” Montana’s voice rose, and I turned quickly, nodding as I started his way.

  “Yeah. It’s a fully stocked suite. They told me it was the last one. I got lucky.”

  He cocked a brow. “Spent big bucks, huh?”

  I lifted my shoulders innocently. “You could say that.”

  “Yeah… how much?”

  “It’s three-fifty a night.”

  “Damn, girl.” He smiled lazily, flopping down on the bed. He ran his hands over the sheets then looked at me, cocking his head to the side twice in a gesture for me to come to him. I conceded because… well, because he was just too damn irresistible to say no to right now. But I also wanted to be comfortable with him again before laying down some ground rules. “You should’ve told me where you were staying. I could’ve paid it off for you.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “No way. I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own hotel room. Besides, the crew gets a discount here.”

  “I’d be damned if I paid three-fifty a night for an entire week just to stay at a hotel. I don’t care how nice it is. But that’s just me though. You deserve something nice.”

  I laughed. “Montana, you have, like, all the money in the world? Why be cheap?”

  He pressed his lips before saying, “Just ‘cause a guy has money doesn’t mean he has to spend it all.”

  I could agree with him there. But it’s not like the money I was spending was mine anyway. Because it wasn’t. I felt good about spending it, too. It was like payback to that filthy fucker ex of mine.

  “Anyway,” I sighed, “…I wanted to talk to you about… whatever it is we’re doing before we really start, you know?”

  “Yeah?” He grabbed my hand and used the pad of his thumb to run circles along the back. “Shoot.”

  My breath caught for a moment as his slow circles sent a gush of heat to my throat, but I pulled my sh
it together. “Well, the first thing is this two week ordeal…” I cleared my throat. “Let’s knock it down to one.”

  I’m not sure if he noticed, but his face-hardened, and he stopped running circles for a moment as he locked eyes with me. But in just the amount of time it took him to get serious, he lightened up again, nodding. “Okay,” he said. “If that’s what you want. Anything else?”

  “Yes… the hotel…” I bit into my bottom lip, looking away from him.

  Montana sat up and moved in closer, placing his thumb on my chin and tugging down until my bottom lip was set free from the traps of my teeth. “You don’t wanna share a room with me?”

  I didn’t speak or nod. I couldn’t because his hooded, icy gaze was glued to mine.

  “Damn… but you know it’d be so much fun, Lauren. The two of us, sharing a room for a week. You know the things I could do to your body? Honestly, a week isn’t enough time to do all the things I wanna do to you…” He sucked in the pierced corner of his lip, smiling faintly. “But I guess I’ll just have to make do. If it’s boundaries you want, boundaries it is, but just know there’ll be no boundaries while I’m around.”

  His grip locked around my chin, and within no time, his lips were glued to mine. He spread my lips apart with his own, and went for an immediate taste of me. My mind wasn’t sure how to react, but my body knew exactly what to do. I swiftly brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. He groaned, lying me back gently as he began to thrust his thick hardness between my legs. Heat tore through me as I moaned into his mouth, clinging on tighter, panting each time he’d let up and allow me to breathe.

  Clutching my ass, he kissed me deeper, and then he ran his palms down my bare thighs. His fingers slowly traveled up to my entrance, and once he found my nub, he shifted to the side and ran gentle, sensuous circles across the sweet area. I released wet gasps as he plunged a finger inside me, making sure to keep his thumb on my clit.

  Then, before I even realized it, he broke the kiss and started to lower himself. His hands continued working their magic down south, but as soon as his face neared the center of my thighs, my body became stationary.

  I heard him swallow, and when I looked down, he was already looking at me. He blinked slowly, licked his pink lips, and then sunk his tongue between my folds, causing a loud “Oh, fuck!” to rip out of me as my head fell back.

  He groaned between my wet walls, running his tongue up and down. He plunged a finger deep inside me, thrusting it in and out as he used his free hand to clutch my hip and bring my pussy closer to his face.

  I couldn’t believe this… when the hell did this even get started? We were just talking only seconds ago, and now… now he was devouring me—taking in every single juicy drop. Holy shit.

  I placed my legs on his shoulders, angling my hips towards him. I didn’t think it was possible, but his face sunk deeper, and he sucked and licked even more fiercely. My body began to rise, and my panting became thicker as I whispered his name. I remembered my voice was his boost, so I said all I could say. I wanted to talk dirty to him… I wanted him to want me just as much as I wanted him to finish me off.

  And my voice obviously did the trick because in no time, my back arched, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I forced my hand through a spike of his blond Mohawk, shrieking his name as he greedily consumed me.

  The guttural groan he released only added to the sensation. It vibrated through my walls, made me quiver and quake intensely before he pulled away and my body began to die down.

  Montana rose to his feet, but I stayed on the bed with my eyes closed. Shit… I couldn’t believe it. Never had I ever been eaten so… ravenously. I was like dinner to him. It seemed he was starved, but had been saving his appetite for the one meal he’d longed for—me.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, he eyed me, licking his lips, and removing whatever was left of my juices. Leaning forward and running his thumb across my hairline, he murmured, “I’ve been waiting to taste you for months now. Sweet and juicy, babe… just how I like it.”

  My core tightened with desire. My word. Had I seriously not had enough from that one orgasm? The truth was, hell no. I wanted more of Montana Delray. So much more. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad.

  Just as I sat up, Montana adjusted his cock in his jeans and then started backing away towards the door. I looked him over with a slight frown as he clutched the doorknob. “What are you doing?”

  “Well… seeing as we won’t be sharing a room because, of course, you want your space, I’m gonna go settle into my room. And whenever you need me, just ring. You have my number.” He winked and turned for the door. He walked out, but I hopped from the bed, rushing after him.

  “Wait!” I called as he met the elevator.

  He glanced over his shoulder with a crooked smile. “Didn’t get enough, huh?”

  I ignored him. “You… already have a room booked?”

  He nodded.

  “Why?” I wasn’t entirely sure why I was asking him that. I should’ve been glad, but some part of me felt betrayed when I realized he’d probably had his room booked ever since I mentioned what hotel I was staying in… ever since I invited him to spend time with me in Cali.

  Montana scanned me with his eyes, and as if he could see right through me, he walked my way, cupping my cheek. “I know a girl like you likes her space. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. I knew getting a room would be the best way to allow you your freedom. Besides,” he shrugged, “…I’m only three floors up.”

  “Top floor?”

  “Yep. You’re welcome to come up anytime you’d like.” He smiled boyishly.

  I blushed. “Actually, I was thinking… maybe we could catch some dinner somewhere? It’s a nice night out.”

  He chuckled, rubbing my jawline once and then pulling his hand down. “That why you’re all dressed up?”

  I shrugged as if it was no big deal, but really it was because I’d planned this outfit out to a T. I wanted the perfect jewelry and the perfect shoes. I wanted a good night out with Montana before anything sexual happened, but that part of the plan turned on me. Fortunately, it was all in my favor. I wondered why he hadn’t gone for more. I was vulnerable on that bed—ready after being eaten so deliciously. He could’ve had me if he wanted to, but he didn’t take it. That only intrigued me more. “So, what do you say?”

  He stepped back, sliding the tips of his fingers into his back pockets. “I say… let me get dressed, and I’ll meet you back down here and take you out.”

  I grinned. “Take me out?”

  “Yes. I’ll take you out somewhere cool.”

  I sighed. “Okay… but no strip clubs or crazy bars with slutty women,” I said firmly.

  “Ah, shit!” he groaned. “There goes the night.” I play punched him on the shoulder, and he laughed, lifting his hands in the air. “I’m just kidding, Princess. It’ll be nice, I promise.” He took slow steps backwards, his eyes glued to mine.

  Like the fool I was, my cheeks burned the longer he stared at me until finally I nodded and stepped back. “I’ll be waiting,” I murmured, and then I turned and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me. My heart raced again, and like a teenage girl with a crush, a huge smile took over my face as I pressed my back against the door, squeezing my hands into fists. I was excited, maybe a little too excited, but in that moment I didn’t care.

  Montana was taking me out. Montana Delray was taking a girl out to dinner. That shit never happened—like ever. Not once had I ever heard of Delray taking a girl out to any place other than a party or club. Even when it came down to award shows, he wouldn’t bring a date. So this… it was huge.

  But as more time passed and I started thinking it over, I realized maybe he was a bit too serious. I wanted him to treat me like he would any other girl, but already— just by him taking me out for dinner—he was showing signs outside his character. It’d been over a year since Montana had been trying to bag me, so it was underst
andable to think he probably wanted to get to know me a little bit more while we were spending time together. But that’s what made it a scary thing. Montana didn’t care about getting to know anyone, especially women. And to top it all off, he’d pleased me without pleasing himself in return. He booked a separate room to make me feel comfortable. He was doing a lot… for me.

  “Shit,” I hissed just as my phone rang and his number popped up. Something had already spurred within him. I just hoped that something wasn’t going to end up ruining things between us. I only needed the physical and nothing emotional or mental.

  I needed to let go. I just prayed to the high heavens that letting go wasn’t driving me into something much more intense and complex than I’d ever been through before.

  MONTANA

  Six

  I felt more than relief knowing she wanted separate rooms. I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to handle an entire week with just one chick…in a room… having sex with only her and seeing only her face. It kind of freaked me out the more I thought about it while I was packing up at home, and on my way there, I made sure to book a room ahead of time.

  The thought of having the same girl beside me constantly, breathing in my air and touching me¸ made me feel way too fucking weird. I had to have my own space, and I was more than pleased to know she did as well. And the one-week thing, boy was I relieved about that! I mean, of course it made me feel sort of lame to know she wanted to dismiss me sooner, but one week was more than enough time to get her out of my system. And once she was out of my system, I was going to be home free, clear of all those extra emotions I never knew I possessed.

  I knew a girl like Lauren wasn’t hard to please. Although she had a lot of class and independence, I knew it only took small things to make her happy. I didn’t need to take her out to some fancy restaurant and sip on white wine and eat caviar and shit just for a smile to appear on her face. I could take her to a hibachi grill restaurant and call it a night. And that’s what I did.