The Reconstruction of Cyprian

by Michelle Love

  “You sure? Because you kiss like a woman who felt she was doing something wrong. Perhaps you felt as if you were cheating on him. What’s his name, Shelly?” His hand trails over the top of my thigh and he looks at me, intent on finding out who the man on my phone is.

  “He’s someone I hurt, and he wants nothing more to do with me. So his name is unimportant. See you tomorrow, Shaun.” I move his hand and press my palm to his shoulder, making him get out of the way so I can close my door and leave.

  As I pull out of the parking lot tears sting my eyes and I want to slap myself. Thinking I could go on a date with so much of myself still tied up in Blake and how I feel for him was a mistake.

  I wonder how long it will take me to forget about him and get on with my life?

  Blake

  I wonder how long it will take me to forget about her and go on with my life?

  Like a fool, I stare at the words on my cell phone, ‘I’M SORRY’ until I can’t focus anymore. It’s been a month since she left me. Her scent still lingers on the pillow she slept on.

  Okay, I know I’m weird and gross for not washing it yet!

  I have to get out of this house today and do something positive with myself. The last few days have been hard for some reason. I look at the last thing Rachelle sent to me nearly every damn day. The last few days, I’ve taken it out and looked at it many times.

  The urge to text back is taking me over. Max and Kip have given me the advice of staying strong and not contacting her. They said she should take some time.

  Only thing is, Kip told me she was going to go on a date with a British guy she works with and that’s eating me up inside. What if she likes him? What if that ends any chance we have to get back together and get married and have kids and a dog?

  We’d name the dog, Rufus, and he’d go with us everywhere.

  I’ve been living way too much in fantasy land here lately.

  There are two more days until the reunion at Max’s foster parents’ home. I used some of my money to make a donation and the children’s home used it to make upgrades on all the houses and added in playground equipment.

  The house parents are throwing a reunion party for all the past people who spent time with them. Rachelle has most likely been sent an invitation, but I doubt she’d go.

  That would be a normal thing to do and she’s not into doing normal things!

  Her old foster parents might ask her how she’s been doing, and she’d find that invasive at the very least. No, Rachelle is a closed book. She’d never go to a reunion like that. Not in a million years.

  My cell phone rings and I nearly throw it as I was looking at it so hard. It’s Max so I answer it, a little sad it’s not her. “Hey, Max.”

  “Hey, Blake. What are you up to?”

  Should I tell him the truth? Nah, that’s just too pathetic.

  “Just thinking about what I can do with this beautiful day. You?” I ask, opting for a more normal thing to say I’m doing.

  “I’m thinking about taking a cruise in my chopper and wanted to know if you wanted me to pick you up and bring you back here to Houston. Lexi took the kids and went to visit her parents for the week. I would’ve went too, but we have that reunion in just a few days and you and I have to make an appearance at that since we donated the money to make all the improvements.”

  “That sounds cool! I’ve been wanting to take a ride in that beast. Any chance you’ll ever teach me how to fly, Max?”

  “I taught Kip, I can teach you too, if you want.”

  “Cool! I’ll be ready. There’s an empty lot that’s been all cleared out to make a playground for the neighborhood. I bought it, so it’s safe for you to land there. See you soon then.”

  “Okay, see you soon, Blake.”

  I end the call and suddenly feel a lot better about life in general. Placing the phone in my back pocket, I make a promise to myself not to look at that damn text Rachelle left me for the remainder of this week, at least.

  I have to put that chick behind me once and for all!

  Rachelle

  A loud knock wakes me up. The sun is streaming in my bedroom window. A quick glance at my phone tells me it’s ten in the morning. I wonder who’s here.

  Pulling a robe on, I make my way to the door just as the person on the other side knocks again. “Shelly!” Peyton’s voice calls out.

  I open the door and find Peyton and Pax standing at the door with a bag full of something. “Morning.”

  Peyton comes in as I stand back and Pax grabs my leg and hugs it. “Hewo, Aunt Chewi.”

  Pax’s little Elmer Fud speech impediment is too cute. I pick him up and hug him tight. “Hello to you too, Mr. Paxie Poo!” I leave a kiss on his chubby cheek and he giggles.

  Peyton is unloading the bag of breakfast on my little table. “I picked up omelets for us and pancakes for my big boy.”

  “How sweet,” I say as I take Pax and place him in a chair at the table and grab us some orange juices out of the fridge. “What’s the occasion?”

  Peyton gives me a look that tells me to cut the bullshit. “Duh! The big date. I want details, Shell.”

  I sit down and open the Styrofoam lid and check out the food. Presentation is appalling, but the green and red bell peppers are yummy looking. I take a bite and grab a little cup of the salsa to add to it.

  “Not much to tell,” I finally say as Peyton stares at me. “I won’t be doing that again for a long time. If ever again.”

  “The guy an ass or what?” Peyton asks as she cuts up Pax’s pancakes and he runs his fingers in the syrup and licks them. “Really Pax? You couldn’t wait for Mommy to help you?”

  He shakes his little blonde head and smiles as he continues to lick his chubby, little fingers. “Mmmmm,” he moans.

  “The guy was nice. He’s great really. I’m not ready, that’s all,” I say and take another bite of my food.

  “Call him, Shell,” Peyton says then takes a bite of her eggs and makes a face then grabs three cups of salsa and some cheese and dumps them all over the omelet. She takes another bite and nods. “Not nearly as good as yours, but what can I do? You won’t come work for us, so I’m forced to eat crap.”

  “I’ve had worse. Thank you, by the way. And call who?” I ask as I get up and get a wet cloth to de-sticky young Pax.

  “Don’t act as if you have no idea who I’m talking about. You don’t fool me. So, if the date went bad, why not call Blake?”

  “Because I didn’t tell you this because it’s humiliating,” I sit back down and take Pax’s hand and try to clean it as he tugs it, trying to place it back in the syrup. “I texted him, telling him that I was sorry and he never responded. I messed up too bad this last time. He’s done with me.”

  “I can’t believe you kept that a secret, Shell. I could’ve asked Kip to make sure Blake got the message. There is a chance he didn’t get it, you know.” She takes another bite and makes a face. “Please come work for us or at least teach me to cook.”

  “I’ll teach you to cook,” I say and she frowns. “I know you’d rather pay me to do it, but you should learn anyway. Never know when you may need the skill of cooking to take care of your growing little family you know.”

  “Well, text him again. Just say you wanted to see if he was having a nice day or something like that. It doesn’t have to be any more than a friendly reminder you still walk this Earth.” Peyton got up to get another wet cloth to clean her son up with. “Remind me to never give this child anything with syrup ever again.”

  “Syrup!” Pax shouts and puts his hand back in the sticky liquid. “Yummy!”

  I laugh and say, “Another real treat is how he’s going to be bouncing off the walls once that sugar hits him. You will be leaving soon, won’t you?”

  “Not a chance. We plan to hang out with you the whole day. I have noticed your eyes are a little swollen. Is that because the movie you saw was a tear jerker?” she asks me with a knowing look.

  “Sure, that�
�s why,” I say. “It definitely isn’t because I cried all the way home and half the night. That would be pathetic and I’m anything but that. Right?”

  “You aren’t pathetic, Shelly. Stubborn, bull headed, but not pathetic. So why not give Blake a little shout out?” Peyton picks Pax up and surveys the syrupy damage. “I’m afraid I need to borrow your bathtub.”

  We make our way to clean the kid up and I say, “I can’t take the rejection again. It’s too much for me to handle. With all the emotional turmoil of last night, I don’t want another day of stomach pain and burning eyes. It’s best to leave it all alone. One day I’ll get over him.”

  “Bet you don’t. I thought the same thing about Kip. There I was pregnant and way too proud and stubborn to even let him know he was going to be a father. I thought I had it all handled. Did I cry most nights? Well, sure I did, but I wasn’t going to let him know I missed him and needed him.” Peyton strips the clothes off her wiggly kid.

  I turn on the water and pour some bubbles in it for him. I have some bubbles for when I babysit him on the rare occasions they need me to. Pax points and laughs at the bubble on the label that has a smile on its face.

  “Bubbles! Yea! I wuv bubbles!” Pax climbs into the bathtub on his own and starts blowing the bubbles off his little hand.

  The noise of the water has us shouting to be heard over it and the delighted screams Pax is making as he plays with the magnificent invention, the bubble.

  “So did you let the Brit kiss you?” she asks.

  I nod. “It was not good.”

  “Really? I thought he’d be a great kisser. He’s handsome and tall and well built. Are you sure it was him who was the bad kisser and not you?” She nudges my ribs with her elbow.

  “He’s probably a fine kisser. I have issues. Too many damn issues.”

  “Damn issues! Haha,” Pax squeals.

  Peyton raises her eyebrows. “Kip’s going to know that was you.”

  “Man! He’s going to read me the riot act. Dang issues, Paxxi. Say it. Dang issues.”

  Paxxie laughs and the little two-year-old smiles like he’s done something so great. “Damn issues, Aunt Chewi! Haha!”

  I shake my head. “Tell Kip I’m sorry.”

  Peyton laughs. “Don’t sweat it. Kip dropped the ‘F’ bomb as he was watching a Rugby game and Pax picked it up.”

  “Oh, that’s so much worse than what I said!” I laugh and Peyton sighs.

  “Where is your old man anyway?” I ask as they are nearly inseparable.

  “He and Bobby are at some new recording studio. They’re checking it out so they can make one at our place. So I was left on my own and came to find you to bug all day, so I won’t be bored and eat. This baby has me hungry all the time.”

  “Thanks for coming over. I do need some company. I’ve been needing someone to help me make a decision about an invitation I got in the mail last week.” I leave the bathroom and go get the letter.

  I hand it to her and let her read it. “It’s from your old foster parents. Have you seen them since that brief stay you had there?”

  I shake my head and she looks back at the paper. “I’m torn about going. On one hand I think it would be good therapy for me to revisit the place I lost so much of myself at. But then again I worry about breaking down as I walk back through the house that seemed so alien to me when I was three.”

  “That would be traumatic to the other children wouldn’t it?” she asked.

  “It would and I’m not sure I can contain the raw emotions I get when I even think about those feelings I had back then. I blocked it for so long, it’s something that’s still sore in me.”

  Peyton touches my shoulder and strokes my hair. “You should go. Face what you fear so you can see it’s just a thing. Things can’t kill you. They can hurt only as much as you allow them to.”

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it would be better for me to go. I’d like to thank the people who were so nice to me in that tough time.” I look at Pax and wonder how in the world things can get so bad people could bring themselves to give their precious little children away.

  Peyton gets a grin on her face. “I’ll talk to Kip. He can fly us to my parent’s house in Smithville. You can borrow my old Jeep that’s still there and drive down to the tiny town it’s in. It’ll be fun. We can make a whole weekend out of it. Give you time to go visit your grandparents and your mother if she’s still at their place.”

  “That’s a lot of visiting in the matter of a few days, don’t you think?” I ask as I’m not sure about going.

  “It’s better that way. Inundate yourself in the things that make you uncomfortable. Soon enough, you’ll find comfort wherever you are.”

  I hope she’s right!

  Blake

  Max and I arrive in grand style to the reunion at the little children’s home. His helicopter is gorgeous and the children run to see it as we land. Max has promised to give every kid who wants to, a ride in the chopper. The kids are already forming a line.

  Max laughs as he turns it off and we get out. “You’ll have to wait just a little while. I have to say hello to the people who raised me first.”

  We make our way through the kids who all shout hellos as they welcome us. One little boy tugs at my pants leg. I look down to find a little dark haired boy who looks to be about three smiling up at me.

  He holds his arms out and I pick him up. “And who do we have here?” I ask him.

  “Toby,” he says. “Did you make my swing?”

  “I bought your swing. You must like it,” I say and touch the tip of his cute little nose.

  “I love it! Wanna push me on it?”

  “Max, I’ll catch up with you later. Seems little Toby here needs some help on a swing,” I call out to Max who’s riding a wave of kids to the house his foster parents live in.

  I came here the one time with Max to give the people who run this place the donation we made. But I didn’t get to interact with any of the children. I find it funny I don’t really know what things I should not ask.

  I give the little boy a push. “So how are you liking it here?”

  “Fine,” he says as he giggles. “I was scared at first, but now I’m fine.”

  “How old are you, buddy?”

  “Almost four. Thanks for pushing me, mister.”

  “My name’s Blake. You can call me that, Toby.”

  The little guy is so brave and I find myself thinking about the first day he got here. He said he was scared and my heart nearly broke apart with the thought.

  The smell of burgers cooking on an open pit waft past my nose and I remember that I haven’t eaten anything all day. “Wanna go get a burger with me, Toby?”

  “Sure,” he says and I stop the swing so he can get off.

  He takes my hand immediately and my heart skips a beat. Man, I’d take this kid home with me if I could. What a little dude!

  The man at the pit who’s handing out the burgers gives me a smile. “Hey there. You must be Blake. Thanks for helping us make all this happen for these kids, son.” He hands me a burger and I hand it to Toby.

  The kid takes a big bite and a little ketchup gets on his cheek. I grab a napkin and wipe it off. With a mouth full of food, he says, “Thanks, Blake.”

  “I’m Mr. Strickland, kind of like the principal at this place. I keep the peace. Well, I try to anyway.” The older man hands me another burger then points. “Over there you can find some chips and drinks. Have a good time.”

  The little kid and I stroll over the direction he sent us and grab the other things then find a seat at a big table full of children. They all smile at me as I take a seat next to my new best bud, Toby.

  A little girl with glasses and red curls looks timidly at me from across the table. “You are Mr. Chandler, right?”

  “I am. And your name is?”

  “Sally.”

  Toby takes a drink of his soda and tells her, “He’s my new best friend. I get to call him Blake.”


  Sally looks away and seems a little sad for some reason. “Hey, why don’t you all call me Blake. Mr. Chandler sounds like some old guy.”

  The little girl smiles and takes a bite of her hotdog. With just a little smile she melts my heart. I’m going to have it rough hanging around this place with so many adorable little kids.

  One of the older boys with short blonde hair asks. “So you gotta helicopter too like Max?”

  With a shake of my head, I say, “Nah. I’m kind of new to this having lots of money thing. I haven’t even bought me a giant house yet. I still live in the same one I grew up in.”

  The kid says, “Man, if I was rich I’d have me a hot wife and a huge mansion and a helicopter. Just like Max does.”

  “He does know how to live, doesn’t he?” I ask the kid.

  “Yes, he does.” The boy walks by as he leaves the table. He pats my back. “So you don’t have a chopper or the big house yet. How about the hot girlfriend?”

  Damn! How do I tell all these little adoring kids that I don’t even have that?

  Rachelle

  Wind whips through my hair as I drive Peyton’s Jeep with the top off. The weather is beautiful and I need the pleasant distraction from all the thoughts that are flying through my head.

  The turn to the children’s home I make and soon find the little road that I ran down as a little kid, trying to go find my mother. My chest is a little tight but not too bad.

  Max will surely be here and I can lean on him and Lexi if I have to. Kids are everywhere as I go around the corner and the circle of houses comes into my view.

  I was so young I don’t remember any of this. I park and put the keys in my pocket and look around for Max. The tall, handsome man should stick out like a sore thumb around here.

  The sound of chopper blades cutting into the sky make me look up and there’s Max, with a kid hanging out the side of the machine in the seat he invented. He lands and someone runs up and gets the kid out of all the harnesses that hold him into the seat.

  Little screams of laughter fill my ears as the chopper goes quiet. I turn to see what little kid is so happy and what is making them that way.