Crossroads

by Skyy

  Sahara, excused herself, throwing Cooley one more smile before closing the door. Cooley suddenly felt nervous again.

  “Yes, Sir.” Cooley felt like she was standing in front of her father, waiting to be scolded.

  “Now, Cool, you know I have a lot of faith in you. But I won’t deny that it took me a while to decide to put you on Sahara’s project. You know I am aware of you two and the past you shared. I want to make sure you know not to let personal affect your business.”

  “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m here to work.”

  “That’s what I needed to hear.” Ron’s smile reappeared. “Now get out of here and go work.”

  Cooley walked out of the office. She glanced at Sahara, who was deep into a conversation with another artist. Cooley wanted to scream. If anything could make her fail, it was Sahara.

  11

  Lena stared at the white walls in her room. A cold draft came under her hospital gown, but she didn’t move. She couldn’t stop staring out the window. The beauty of the bright blue sky and thick clouds didn’t matter anymore. All she could see was grey skies.

  The nurse walked into the room. Lena didn’t budge.

  “How are you doing, Mrs. Redding?”

  Lena didn’t respond.

  The nurse sighed as she wrote down Lena’s vitals.

  Brandon paced the floor outside of Lena’s room. Nurses walked by, all concerned about the star athlete. Lena’s nurse walked out the room. Brandon paused, his eyes widened, hoping for good news.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Redding. There’s not any change as of now.”

  “But she is ... physically?”

  “Physically, she will be fine. Emotionally, that’s another question.” The nurse put her hand on Brandon’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard, but I’m sure she needs you right now.”

  Brandon’s feet felt like they were covered in cement. He stared at the hospital door, afraid to walk in. Guilt filled his heart. He knew he had to face it, but didn’t know if he was ready.

  Thirty minutes passed before Brandon built up enough nerve to walk into the room. He put his large hand on the silver door knob. Brandon took a deep breath and walked into the room. He looked at Lena’s back. She hadn’t moved since they allowed her to turn over.

  He walked back out of the room and closed the door. Brandon put his fists against the wall and rested his head on them. He fought to gain control. He couldn’t let Lena see him cry. He knew he had to be strong for her right now.

  Brandon turned around and looked at the hospital door. He couldn’t make his feet move. He grabbed his cell phone. There was only one thing he could think to do.

  Lena heard a soft knock on the hospital room door. She didn’t answer. She just continued to stare out the window. She heard the door open, and faint steps hit the floor.

  “Lena.” Carmen walked around the bed. She looked at Lena, whose face was sullen. “Lena, baby, I’m here. Brandon called me.”

  Carmen walked over to the bed. She put her hand on Lena’s thigh. Lena’s leg felt like an icicle. “Your leg is freezing, honey.” Carmen pulled Lena’s sheet up over her legs. “I’m just going to cover you up.” Carmen pulled a chair close. She put her hand into Lena’s. “I don’t expect you to say anything. I’m just going to sit here until you want to say something, OK.”

  Lena’s body felt a little warmth take over. She blinked her eyes. They immediately began to swell with tears. “Carmen.”

  “Yes, hon?”

  “My baby is gone.”

  Lena began to cry. Her silent tears turned to a hysterical cry. She felt as though her world was crashing around her.

  Carmen stood up and wrapped her arms around Lena. Lena’s tears soaked into her purple shirt. Lena cried and cried. Carmen was silent. She rubbed Lena’s hair and occasionally stated, “Let it out.”

  Brandon stood outside the door, crying along with his wife.

  Brandon walked down to the chapel. He entered the small, candle-lit room. Brandon slowly walked to the front. He lit one of the small candles at the front. He knew he wasn’t Catholic but was willing to try anything at that point. He placed his hand on the large Bible sitting on the podium. Emotions filled his body. He fell to his knees and sobbed. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t care about Denise, basketball, his fortune, or anything else. The only thing on his mind was his beautiful wife. He knew it was over. There was no way to repair the damage. His anger and their arguing took away their unborn child.

  Carmen and Lena looked at each other. Carmen rubbed the back of Lena’s hand. Lena finally stopped sobbing; now they sat in silence.

  “Carmen,” Lena sighed.

  Carmen smiled.

  “I’m glad Brandon called you.”

  “Oh, girl, of course. Don’t even think about it.”

  “I’m just glad it wasn’t my mother. She is going to irritate the hell out of me, I know it. I never even told her I was pregnant.”

  “Really.” Carmen blinked. “I guess it’s a good thing your parents didn’t know.”

  Lena forced a smile. “I have never felt so empty.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  “No, C, I feel even worse because my emptiness isn’t just because of losing my child, I went to New York.”

  Carmen’s eyes widened, her mouth dropped. “When?”

  “Yesterday.” A single tear rolled from Lena’s face. “I asked Denise to take me.”

  Carmen covered her mouth. “Oh my God.”

  “She was drunk, C, really drunk. She yelled, she kicked me out and told me to come back to Brandon. She doesn’t love me anymore, Carmen. She doesn’t love me, and now I don’t have a baby either.” The tears began to flow again.

  Carmen didn’t know if she was more furious or concerned. “Denise was drunk? That’s crazy. Girl, I’m sure it’s something more. That’s not like her at all.”

  “I saw it in her face. Her eyes were void of emotion. She doesn’t love me anymore, I ruined it.”

  Carmen slightly squeezed Lena’s hand. “Lena, baby, right now I want you to take your mind off Dee and even off Brandon. I want you to focus on you and what you need to do for you. All the rest will fall into place, I promise you.”

  Lena knew Carmen was right. “What’s on TV?” Lena pressed the channel buttons attached to her bed. Lena gasped. She stopped on the channel that broadcasted the chapel. She saw Brandon sitting in the pew with his head down in his lap. An older white priest rubbed Brandon’s back while chanting what looked to be a prayer. “Brandon.”

  Carmen felt her heart breaking for Lena and for Brandon. She didn’t realize what type of effect losing his child was taking on him.

  “Lena, do me a favor, OK.”

  Lena looked at Carmen.

  “I know that you have unresolved issues with Brandon, and with Denise. But please take a minute and put all the past aside and realize that he is going through it too.”

  “I know, and I will. Carmen, I’m really glad you stayed in Memphis. I don’t know what I would do if you and Misha were gone.”

  Carmen smiled. For the first time she was really happy to still be in Memphis. She realized she did have a purpose after all.

  Carmen waited till Lena was asleep before walking out the room. As soon as she made it to the closest waiting room, she pulled her phone out to call Denise. She was livid. She hadn’t talked to Denise since she made it to New York, Denise hadn’t called or anything. Now to find out she was drinking and being mean just did it for Carmen.

  Denise’s loud ringer woke her up. The America’s Next Top Model marathon was now on, the only season she ever watched, featuring Eva Pigford. She knew it was Carmen, from the ringtone.

  Denise sat up in the bed and braced herself for a lecture. “Hello.”

  Carmen paced the floor. “You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do and don’t even try to lie to me.”

  “Hello, Carmen. How are you?”

  “No, how the fuck are you? So you
drinking now? What in the hell?”

  “Carmen, you—”

  “And being mean to Lena. Hell, being mean at all. Denise, what is going on?”

  “Well, if you shut up long enough I could tell you,” Denise snapped. She sighed and ran her hand over the top of her head.

  Carmen paused. She’d never heard Denise talk to her like that. “Carmen I lost my contract. I’m not playing ball.”

  Carmen flopped into the closest chair. “Denise, why didn’t you call me and tell me? That explains so much.”

  “I didn’t know what to say. It just happened so fast. I was upset, I got drunk. As far as Lena, I really feel horrible about that. I really do.”

  “It’s OK. I’m sure she will understand. Denise, I really wish you would have called me. I haven’t heard from you or Carla. I’m stuck here, and no one is letting me know what’s going on.”

  “I’m sorry.” Denise stood up. “How is Lena?”

  Carmen paused. “Umm, Denise, are you sitting down?”

  Denise froze. “Carmen, what is going on?”

  “Lena lost her baby.”

  Denise’s heart dropped. “No! No! Tell me you are playing.” Denise fell back down on her bed. “No, I’m coming home.”

  “Wait, Dee.” Carmen looked up. “Don’t do that. Please, don’t even tell her you know.”

  “Carmen, I have to apologize. Shit, this is all my fault.”

  “It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. But right now Lena needs to take time to find Lena.”

  Denise knew Carmen was right. “Tell her I am sorry, OK. I really am.”

  “Denise, what are you going to do?”

  “Well, I really don’t know yet. But I’ll have more info tomorrow. Carmen, I’m really, really sorry about Lena.”

  “I know you are. But, Denise, I know you are going through a lot, but please remember there are better ways than liquor. You don’t fucking drink. I can only imagine how you were.”

  “Trust me, it won’t be happening again. But, C, I gotta get up hella early. I’ll call you tomorrow with more news.”

  “OK, babe.” Carmen hung the phone up. She thought about Nic. She had never thought the day would come that she’d be doing better than her friends.

  She stood up and headed back to Lena’s room. Carmen turned the corner and ran into Brandon.

  “Carmen! Is she ... Lena ...” Brandon frantically spoke. His eyes were bloodshot.

  Carmen wrapped her arms around Brandon. Brandon hugged her back. “Brandon, go in and talk to your wife. All the past bullshit doesn’t matter anymore. Focus on you and her. Tell Lena I’ll be back to check on her later, OK.”

  “Thanks, C.”

  Carmen smiled. It was the first time Brandon had ever called her C. She always felt a little out of place around him, knowing that her bestfriend was in love with his woman. In that moment, they were friends.

  12

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Cooley stared at Sahara. She didn’t know if she was more upset or happy.

  Sahara smiled. “I wanted it to be a surprise, and so did Ron. Why do you seem upset?”

  Sahara closed Cooley’s office door. Cooley fought to remain calm while in the meeting. Ron talked about all the great things they were going to do together. Cooley couldn’t focus beyond the surprise. Everything was different now.

  “I’m not upset, I just wish I would have known.”

  Sahara walked closer to Cooley. “Baby, this is amazing. We are going to be working.” She put her hands on each side of Cooley’s face.

  Cooley instantly jerked her face away from Sahara. “Sahara, please.”

  Sahara pressed her lips together. “Why are you acting like this? We thought you would be happy. Damn, do you hate me that much?”

  “Sahara, I don’t hate you at all.” Cooley sighed. “You just don’t understand.” Cooley looked at Sahara, whose face was like a hurt child. “Look, I’m real excited to be working with you. But this just puts a damper on some other things.”

  “Things like what?”

  Cooley couldn’t believe that two hours earlier she was ready to have a date and consider making Sahara her girlfriend. She knew now that couldn’t happen. Cooley made one promise to herself; she would not date an employee or colleague.

  “Man, I don’t know why karma is fuckin’ wit’ me like this, but damn!” Cooley sat down on the edge of the desk.

  Sahara walked close. She stood in between Cooley’s legs. “Cooley, I can’t think of anyone I would want to be in my career and in my life other than you. Don’t you see? This is destiny. We keep trying to change what obviously is meant to happen.” Sahara pressed her hands against Cooley’s face, her palm on Cooley’s scar.

  Cooley looked at Sahara, who was unaffected by the wound.

  “Sahara, I can’t mix business and pleasure. I won’t. We can’t do this.”

  Sahara took a few steps back. Cooley tried to not focus on the short shorts exposing Sahara’s milk chocolate legs.

  “So, I’ll go and get a new rep. I’m willing to do that if it means a chance for us.”

  Cooley grabbed Sahara by her wrist. “Don’t do that. We can make you a hit, and you know it. Girl, fuck relationships. This is business, and you never let your personal feeling get in the way of business. Now, we gon’ make you a star. Besides, I’m not in a position to be looking at any type of relationship. I can’t go down that road anytime soon.”

  Sahara pulled Cooley close. She pressed her lips against Cooley’s lips.

  Cooley wrapped her right arm around Sahara, pulled her body as close as she could. She parted her lips allowing Sahara’s tongue to enter hers.

  Cooley ran her fingers through Sahara’s thick wavy hair. She wanted to take her on her desk. She thought about it, considering there wasn’t anything on it but her nameplate. Cooley felt her nature calling for Sahara’s body.

  She pulled away. “Girl, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

  Sahara smiled. “I’m not. I just figured I deserved one last kiss. Now, let’s get to work.” Sahara sat down in the chair and crossed her legs.

  Cooley huffed and shook her head. “All right then.” She walked around the desk and sat down. “Let’s do this.”

  Brandon and Lena sat in silence. There was so much to say, but neither knew the right way to say it. Lena looked at Brandon’s vacant expression. She could tell he was just as numb as she was. It had been a while since she realized how beautiful a man he was. He did love her and she knew it. She knew she loved him too, just didn’t know if she was in love with him anymore, or ever.

  Lena thought about their relationship. She always knew Brandon was sleeping with other women. She wondered why she was so adept to turning a blind eye to his indiscretions. Maybe it was because she knew deep down, that she was the one he truly loved. She was the one he married.

  “Brandon.”

  Brandon’s face lit up as he looked at his beautiful wife. “Yes, baby.”

  “I wanna go home.”

  Brandon stood up. “I’ll go and check on that right away.” Brandon walked out of the room without hesitation. There were no questions. He just wanted to do whatever she wanted.

  Lena’s mind drifted back to Denise. She thought about the things Denise said to her. She knew Denise was right. She had been very selfish. She played on Denise’s emotions without really thinking about how her actions could be affecting Denise. She was no longer upset by Denise. She realized that on some level she deserved exactly what Denise did.

  “OK, they said they were actually preparing to release you now. I tried to bribe them into speeding it up, but they weren’t going.” Brandon attempted to crack a smile.

  Lena knew he was trying. “Thank you.” Lena watched as Brandon made sure nothing was left behind. She studied his broad muscular shoulders. She overheard a few nurses gabbing about how sexy he was. She was married to one of the hottest basketball players in the nation, yet she couldn’t stop thi
nking about another woman. They had years invested, and she didn’t know if she wanted to throw all of it away.

  The hot Memphis weather was uncomfortable as soon as they hit it. Lena sat in the wheelchair while waiting on Brandon to get the car. She watched as Brandon attempted to keep a smile on for a group of men who were excited to see one of their favorite Memphis Grizzlies up close and personal. Brandon politely told them he couldn’t stop. They looked over to see Lena and quickly let him continue.

  They drove in silence, both unsure of the right words to say to the other. Lena stared out the tinted windows on Brandon’s Escalade truck. The Jamie Fox Show played from the XM radio. Even his funny anecdotes couldn’t make the couple laugh.

  “I’m going to pull in here and get your prescription filled real quick if that’s OK.” Brandon pulled into the local Walgreens. Lena forced a tight-lipped smile.

  “Do you need anything else?”

  “No, I’m fine.” Lena continued to stare out the window.

  Brandon lingered for a moment before hopping out of the truck.

  Brandon walked into the store. Normally he would notice the looks people gave him as he passed by, but today he was completely oblivious to the cashiers’ and customers’ whispers. He walked down the card isle, glancing at the “I’m Sorry” section. None of them said what he wanted to say. He knew there wasn’t a card to say, “I’m sorry I made you lose our baby.”

  Brandon picked up a small teddy bear. He wondered if it would cheer Lena up or if the sight of a teddy bear would just bring more painful memories.

  The thought of their baby came back into his mind. He always wanted a baby by Lena. A tear fell from his eye while standing on the isle. He held up a card and acted like he was reading it in hopes of gaining his composure before someone saw him.

  Once he was ready, he placed the card back down and headed to the snack isle. Brandon picked up all of Lena’s favorites. He filled the hand basket with mint Milano cookies, Cool Ranch Doritos, Sweet Tarts and other junk food. Brandon knew he would buy the whole store if it would make Lena smile.