A Love for Romance

by Kahlen Aymes

  She gasped and her eyes widened in surprise.

  “Did you think I’d cry over you forever? That I’d never touch anyone else after you?” I knew my words were like a knife in her heart, and part of me wanted her to suffer like I’d suffered.

  I recognized the pain on her face. It was my pain, too.

  She wiped at her eyes and drew in her breath, shakily. “No.” She shook her head, still looking at me with pleading eyes. “I didn’t expect you to be alone.”

  I felt guilty for wanting to hurt her, and tried to shove it down. Fucking hell. I ran a hand over my face.

  “Just tell me what you need,” I said wearily. I was tired from the flight, tired of arguing, tired of hurting.

  “Are you married?”

  I didn’t answer, but looked away, the muscle in my jaw flexing against my will. How dare she ask me that?

  “My little girl is ill. She has Leukemia.”

  I paused, suddenly sorry that I’d railed at her. “I’m sorry, Teagan.” I was, but I still didn’t understand why I was there. “But, what does that have to do with me?”

  “I wanted her... I mean, she’s...” Teagan cleared her throat. “Uh, she needs a transplant. A bone marrow transplant could save her and we can’t find a donor match. She’s gone through chemotherapy once and she went into remission last year. It was so horrible watching her go through treatment.” Teagan was crying brokenly, struggling to talk and wiping at her nose and eyes with a wadded up tissue. “I don’t want to put her through it again and we’re running out of time. I couldn’t bear to lose her, Chase. She’s been so brave, but she knows how sick she is. My parents and I were tested to donate for her, but, uh...”

  My heart ached for her, despite how much she’d hurt me. No one should be faced with losing a child. No matter what, Teagan didn’t deserve that.

  “Do you need money?” I was playing professionally and one thing I had, was money. My father and mother were retired and big into philanthropy. Maybe one of them knew someone at a national registry and could bump the little girl up on the list. “I’ll call my dad, and maybe he can help find a donor...” My father’s manufacturing business was huge in the state and he was a big donor to many charities. Surely he’d know someone who had clout to bump Teagan’s little girl up the list.

  “Uh...” She reached out and grabbed my hand so hard it hurt. My fingers threaded with hers. Despite it all, I wanted to ease her pain. Tears fell in silent rivers from her eyes. “Chase, will you test? Please?”

  “I will, but what about Jensen and his famil—” I began.

  She shook her head, her fingers almost crushing mine as her eyes closed. “No.”

  “No?” I was confused. “He wouldn’t test?” I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Jensen might be a lot of things, but he wasn’t heartless.

  “They won’t be a match. Jensen isn’t her father.”

  The air left my chest. “What?”

  “Jensen isn’t Remmy’s father.”

  My mind raced and my lungs constricted. Did Teagan screw some random man?

  “Chase, please don’t be mad at me.” She handed me a picture of a beautiful little girl with two missing front teeth and glossy deep brown hair, and white porcelain skin like her mother’s. Laughter danced in the dark green orbs... “I’m so sorry.”

  I started to shake again as my vision blurred. “Those are my eyes,” I said flatly. “My eyes.”

  She nodded as her voice broke on a sob. “I know. Isn’t she just beautiful?”

  “You kept this from me all this time? How could you do this to me, Teagan? I can’t believe this is happening.” I felt like I was a spectator watching some nightmare unfold before me. If it weren’t for the insatiable burn that ate up all of my oxygen, I wouldn’t have believed it were real.

  “I didn’t know what to do, Chase. I knew if I told you, you’d leave London and your team behind.”

  “Damn right I would, Teagan!” I yelled the words, and she jumped in her seat. “It was my right to know! Jesus Christ! I’m...” I shook my head in disbelief. “It should have been my choice! What right did you have to keep this from me? What fucking right?” Rage filled me at the same time that my heart broke in a thousand pieces. I had a daughter that I’d been robbed of and she was very sick. “Why in the hell didn’t you call me when she first got sick, at least?” Tears rolled down my face. “You gave my child to another man! How could you, Teagan? I thought we loved each other!”

  “We did. I thought I was doing the right thing. I loved you enough to... let you have your dream. I still love you, Chase!”

  “My dream... was you! You were the goddamn dream! Soccer is a game. A career, and that’s all! How could you not know that? Nothing meant more to me than you!” I swiped at the wetness on my face as my heart shattered. “When you married Jensen, I didn’t care if I lived or died! My whole world ended; I hated everything! I didn’t think you could hurt me more, until this moment. You sit there and tell me you still love me when you kept my child from me?”

  She was sobbing full force as I tried to pull my hand from hers, had been trying, but she tightened her hold. “No, Chase, pl-please,” she cried. “Remmy could die. I can’t go through that without you. Chase!” Her head dropped to my shoulder above our joined hands. “Please. I didn’t give her to Jensen. I didn’t. She knows he’s not her father. She kn-knows...”

  I leaned my head back in the seat. I was drowning, my heart exploding. I’d never hurt as badly but hearing her anguish only made it worse. “But you could go through her life without me? I’m so mad at you, Teagan,” I spat out, even as my arms closed around her shaking body. “I want to hate you, it hurts so much.”

  Her hands found their way into my hair at the back of my head, clutching as she cried into my shoulder and I found myself smoothing hers down her back as we both sobbed into each other. I wanted to hate her, but somehow holding Teagan eased the devastating ache. Finally her tears subsided and I found my voice. My instincts wanted to comfort and kiss her, to let myself feel, but my heart was still breaking.

  “I want to meet her.”

  Teagan nodded and pulled back. The tears still clung to her lashes as she searched my expression. “Of course. Can you forgive me?” She held both sides of my face in her hands and I wanted to lean into one of them. Again I resisted and pulled away abruptly.

  “I don’t know yet. What you’ve done is...”

  “Unforgivable.” It was the truth. “I know.” She nodded. “I’ll understand if you can’t.”

  I ran a hand through my hair as she moved awkwardly back into the driver’s seat to put it into reverse. “Is her name short for something? It’s unusual.”

  “Yes. Remilia Victoria.”

  I sat in silence as it sank in. “Roma and Amelia?” I asked incredulously.

  “Yes.” Teagan’s response was whisper quiet.

  “You named her after my mother and you didn’t let me know her? Didn’t let any of us... know her?”

  “After I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and alone. I knew I would lose your family, too. And I love your mom as much as mine. Naming her Remilia Victoria was a way to keep her close, and a connection to you.”

  Roma and Amelia were my mother’s first and middle names, and Victoria was after Teagan’s mom. I shook my head in disbelief. “Why would you name her after my mother and then not tell me about her?”

  She shrugged, her voice breaking. “You were half a world away.”

  “I didn’t have to be,” I said quietly. I was numb now. This couldn’t be happening. It was a nightmare.

  “Yes, you did. You had a contract.”

  Anger exploded and replaced the numbness in an instant. “So what, Teagan?” I yelled. “Fuck the goddamned contract! I still can’t believe this!”

  “Jensen took care of me. He married me because my father was furious and I...”

  “It wasn’t his place! It was mine! Do you think I give a damn why he did it?” My expres
sion twisted in anguish and I glared at her. “There is no excuse for what either one of you have done. Right now, all I know is I’m not ready to deal with all of the crap between you and me. I’d just like to meet my daughter.”

  She blinked and I could see her throat visibly tighten as she tried to swallow, as she nodded and started to back out of the parking space to begin navigating toward the exit of the garage. “Okay. I’ll take you.”

  We didn’t speak: the air between us tense as I retreated inside myself, and my conflicted thoughts. I was anxious, excited and terrified of meeting the little person that I had made with Teagan. My heart eased slightly as I tried to get my head around everything I’d just learned. At least I didn’t have to be tortured by the thought of another man’s child growing inside her. How much that had fucked me up left me staggering.

  We walked side by side into the hospital and rode the elevator up in silence. What would I see when I went into the room? My heart sank to my stomach. I was more nervous than I’d ever been, and scared as hell she’d look sick. I knew it would kill me, but I was going to fall in love for the last time in my life. I knew it for certain.

  The hospital smelled sterile and it was stark; white everywhere except the few dull brown tile scattered among the white ones on the floors. It felt cold until we entered the room. There were balloons and flowers everywhere, butterflies made out of construction paper lined the walls around the big bed with a small form lying in the middle. I recognized Teagan’s artistic handy work.

  My daughter was sleeping and I was drawn toward her. My eyes blurred as I fell, stunned, into the chair by her side; I gazed upon the smaller version of Teagan in the bed. She was so tiny, her features perfect as her chest rose and fell softly. I only saw the incredible little face, too caught up to notice the IV’s or the machines. Her hair had grown back and was just past her ears, curling softly around her face. She didn’t look that sick, except that her skin was pale and she had light purple shadows beneath her eyes, partially hidden by arcs of full, dark lashes.

  “Teagan...she’s just... gorgeous. Oh, my God.”

  “She’s you, Chase.”

  “She looks like you. So beautiful.” My hand reached out to stroke back her silky hair as the first tear fell.

  “When she wakes up, you’ll understand. She’s like you in so many ways. Every time I look at her; I see you.” Teagan’s voice was tight and barely a whisper.

  My finger touched a petal soft cheek, just below the dark fan of lashes. “I’m... overwhelmed. I wish you would’ve told me. I wish I’d seen her born and how she grew into this. I wish I could have been with her when she went through her chemo. Oh, God.” My voice cracked on the last word as my throat tightened uncomfortably.

  Teagan’s voice was shaking when she spoke, her tears constricting her words. “I know. I’d give anything to change it.” Her hand came down on my shoulder from behind and squeezed and instantly my big hand covered her smaller one. I couldn’t stop myself even if I’d wanted to.

  “Mommy...” Remmy’s eyes fluttered open and she blinked, searching the room for her mother’s face.

  “I’m here, baby girl.” Teagan moved to the other side of the bed and bent to kiss the child’s forehead and brush her soft hair away from her face. “You have a visitor. Can you say hello?” She nodded in my direction with a tremulous smile, trying to hide her tears.

  The little girl turned her eyes on me for the first time and smiled softly. My heart swelled with pride. She did have my eyes and they were wise and knowing beyond her years.

  “Hello,” she said bravely as she examined me. Her eyes widened and she glanced at her mother and then back to me.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Remmy. I’ve been waiting a long time.” I tried desperately to keep my voice from breaking.

  “Me, too, but it’s okay, Daddy. I knew you’d come someday.” The little angel voice shook me to the core and my eyes flew to Teagan’s face. Her chin was trembling as she lifted her hand to her mouth and blinked to let the tears that flooded her eyes tumble down her cheeks. She nodded in affirmation. She’d told our daughter about me.

  I smiled in joy as I turned back to the little girl, dwarfed by the hospital bed. I laughed through my tears and cleared my throat. “Yes. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, but I’m with you now, and I’m not going anywhere. How do you know who I am?” I asked incredulously.

  She pointed a little finger to the bedside table where a picture of me wrapped around Teagan at a party sat. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. We were so happy, then. “Mommy tells me stories about you all the time. Lovely stories.” She leaned toward me and put her hand to her mouth intent on telling me a secret. I leaned in to hear her as my heart exploded in joy. “I think she loves you a lot,” she whispered with a soft giggle.

  My chest tightened, my emotions practically choking me. “Remelia...” I said her beautiful name for the first time, “would it be okay if I gave you a hug?”

  She smiled and nodded, raising her little arms toward me. I gathered her close, lifting her onto my lap as I sat on the edge of the bed, so careful of her IV, and pulling the blankets around her. She was fragile, but felt perfect in my arms. Love like nothing I’d ever felt, rushed over me.

  Teagan wept silently a few feet away from us, frantically brushing the tears off of her cheeks as I held an arm out to her and she joined us on the bed. Remmy wound one arm around each of our necks. Teagan kissed one cheek while I dropped my lips to the top of her head, memorizing the scent of my child. My child. With Teagan. Could anything be more amazing?

  “I’m so sorry, Chase.” Teagan’s voice cracked on my name.

  “We’ll talk later, Teagan, okay?” I couldn’t help it; I reached out and brushed her chin with my fingertips before returning my attention to our child. “I’d like to hear one of Mommy’s stories, sweetheart. Should we ask her to tell us one?”

  The little one giggled. “There are lots and lots to choose from! My favorite is the one where you stole her heart. Are you gonna give it back now?”

  “Should I?”

  She laughed happily, despite her paleness and the tubes and wires. “Nope!”

  “Good. I don’t think so either. I think I’ll keep it forever!”

  In the matter of ten minutes, I now shared Teagan’s desperation over this little life. The mess between us would have to wait. Remmy was what mattered, right now. Whatever it took; money, asking my father’s help, and if possible, donating marrow, I’d do whatever I needed to do.

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  About the Author

  Kahlen Aymes is a bestselling and award winning author, who writes sizzling hot, deeply moving romantic fiction in New Adult/Erotica/Adult Contemporary. Her books have been on several bestseller lists including Amazon, Publisher's Weekly, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, and USA Today.

  While all of her stories are sensual, hot, full of love, romance and angst, readers should expect fresh plots, compelling characters and an abundance of steamy scenes on each series/story. NO COOKIE-CUTTERS Allowed!

  Creative by nature, she enjoys the arts, music & theater, loves reading romance, dystopian, and fantasy. Her favorite things include music, dancing, cooking, animals, & long walks with her iPod, conjuring up her newest book boyfriend.

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  The Break

  by Debra Presley

  As Rachelle lay motionless on the floor, fighting the urge to let the darkness win, a plan came to her. One that would, if it worked, set her free. If she failed, the consequences would end her.

  Other than the radiating throb of pain where his fist connected with her face, all she felt was an all-consuming numbnes
s. He yelled, drunk and sloppy and so angry, but being drunk was no excuse. Nothing excused this, but she’d seen this ending coming.

  The hospital hosted a fundraising event for childhood cancer research. Dr. Trey Wellington III, the head of the department, would definitely be there with his perfect wife. He never missed an opportunity to be seen and show off.

  The irony wasn’t lost on Rachelle. The doctor who saved babies was really an abusive drunk who beat his wife.

  “I don’t think I ask a lot from you.” Trey’s angry voice broke through the ringing in her ears. “But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Flirting.” He spat the word out like it was dirty to even say. “And with him.”

  She had no idea who he was talking about, but she often didn’t. His mind was warped.

  “I share with my wife how he’s after my position, and what does she do? She struts herself in front of him, showing off her ass while smiling and laughing. Did you both have a good chuckle at my expense? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

  Mark.

  She remembered now. He’d cornered her at the event, and no matter what she did, or said, he wouldn’t shut up. She hadn’t known it was Mark until it was too late. The only bright light, she’d thought, was Trey hadn’t been around when they were chatting. Apparently, she’d been wrong, and now she paid the price for that.

  Dr. Mark Anderson, a fairly new addition to the oncology team, young—or at least younger then Trey. All the nurses loved him, and for the last three months he’d been the thorn in her husband’s side. Every night, Trey came home and bitched about something that Mark did at work. His complaints seemed petty to Rachelle, but she’d never admit that out loud.

  “Got nothing to say?” he slurred, his voice closer than before.

  She didn’t bother answering because anything she said would anger him more. He was convinced she betrayed him. However, not answering would only make things worse for her. Slowly she licked her lips, testing to see if her brain would cooperate with her commands, and opened her mouth to respond, but it was too late.