Brave

by Natalie Gayle

  Eventually I found the waistband of his boxer briefs and splayd my palm over his hip. Slowly I lowered my hand wanting to know exactly what he had hidden behind the fabric of his underwear. I’d caught a fleeting glimpse of his rock hard butt last weekend and it had been enough to have my heart skipping a beat. Now I wanted to know that uniquely male part of him that had been pushed so hard up against me.

  Xander caught my chin in his hand and drew my face up so our eyes met.

  “You don’t need to do this, Eden.” I could tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it sincerely, but there was no way I was going to go a moment longer without knowing all of him.

  “I want you, Xander.” My voice was a little husky and seemed to catch in my throat, right about the same time as my hand circled his very erect cock. I ran my palm the length of his arousal but the fabric of his briefs frustratingly prevented me from really feeling him.

  “Are you sure, Eden? It’s up to you. I’m not going to pressure you, but there is no way I’m going to say no to whatever more you want to do.” His breath hitched a little raggedly as I continued to run my hand along the ridge of his arousal.

  I hesitated for a split second as doubt flooded me momentarily, but then, I pushed it away. It was time to be the person I wanted to be and not the person I had been.

  “I’m sure, Xander. I want to be whole again—a woman. Make me whole. Like only you can do.” The fingers of my left hand caught in the waistband and pulled downwards. “I want these off. They need to go now.”

  There was a little smirk of pride on those beautiful full lips of his and I couldn’t help but lean closer and touch mine to his. I swiped my tongue along the plump flesh and tasted myself on him. It was strange and quite heady—not quite what I expected.

  “You taste good, don’t you?” Amusement flared in his eyes.

  I felt heat rise up into my cheeks and I was at a loss for words. “Um, do I?”

  “Yeah Gem, you taste incredible. Take my word for it, if you’re not sure.”

  “Okay,” I agreed and tugged on his briefs some more. He lifted his hips obligingly and together we worked them down his muscled legs and off.

  I pushed him from his side until he was once again on his back. Then I trailed my fingers down over the tight ridges in his stomach until my palm brushed the head of his engorged erection.

  His cock jumped against my hand at the contact and I closed my palm around him. I heard him inhale sharply through his nose.

  I felt a fleeting shot of fear. “Too tight…?”

  He let the breath out slowly. “Too good!”

  “Oh, well that’s okay then, I guess,” I said feeling relieved as I stroked him, learning his size and feel. His cock was just like the rest of him— hardened steel covered in smooth, warm skin. It felt divine, but I was fast learning there was nothing soft about Xander—only his kind words and caring nature. He could be the hardened, brusque warrior or the tender, caring lover.

  His eyes squeezed shut and his face contorted in what looked like agony, so I relaxed my grip and slid my hand lower to cup his balls and explore the roughened feel of them.

  “Gem, I’m hanging on by a thread here. You need to let me know what you want here, sweetheart? I can’t take much more of this torture,” he confessed, his jaw clenching in strain.

  What did I want? Was I ready to go further? I thought on that for a mere second. Why should I deny what we both obviously wanted?

  I drew my leg up and over his hips and slid my body more over the top of his and looked down into his eyes that were dark with need, but warm with tenderness at the same time.

  “I want you inside me Xander.”

  He reached up and cradled my head in his hands and pulled my mouth to his for a kiss that was scorching hot and had the blood racing through my veins again. I couldn’t seem to stop wriggling on top of him. I could feel his erection wedged between our bodies, pulsing against my stomach.

  I just wanted him to be closer, inside me.

  “How about I take over from here?” he whispered into my mouth.

  Relief flooded through me as he stroked his hand through my hair. My body knew what it wanted but I was not quite sure how to proceed. It was all so different with Xander—but also very right.

  I nodded briefly and he kissed me lightly on the nose, before he nudged me over onto my back again. He turned briefly to the utilitarian bedside table and pulled a condom from the top draw and quickly sheathed himself before rolling his body over mine once again.

  “Let’s go old school to start with,” he suggested.

  His lips found mine and he took his time drugging me with kisses so needy and fine I felt as if I was about to come apart again. All conscious thought seemed to evaporate from my mind and I just wanted to sink into him.

  Xander shifted a fraction and I felt his arousal glide along the lips of my pussy. I sighed into his mouth as his fingers began to tease me and spread my blossoming wetness over my flesh, before he slid first one then two fingers into me.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, baby. I know it’s been a long time, but you’re so wet for me.” He stroked inside me and I jammed my hips up and tightly into his hand, enjoying the feeling. His words seemed to inflame the need I was feeling even more.

  Finally he pulled his fingers from me and dropped another kiss on my lips.

  Then he was probing my opening before he pressed inside me in one slow smooth stroke—all controlled power before he halted. I sucked in a breath, feeling the burn as I stretched to accommodate his size.

  “Relax Gem. I’ll just hold here for a second. God, you feel incredible. You’re so tight. I’m struggling to maintain control.” My hands gripped his shoulders before sliding lower to settle on his butt. The muscles flexed beneath my fingers, two solid globes.

  The burn began to subside as quickly as it had started and all that was left was the most incredible feeling of being filled by him. Slowly he began to move, his length stroking every nerve inside of me, but still I needed him deeper.

  I drew my knees up and curled my fingers into his butt urging him to go deeper and harder still. The slight change caused his pubic bone to hit my clit and I sucked in air again.

  It felt so damned fine. This was what I’d been craving, what Xander had been building up to for days.

  “Can you come again for me, Gem?” I looked up into his face and saw the strain and tension it was taking to stop himself from coming.

  “I don’t know.” And I didn’t. Tonight had been my first orgasm with a man. It was all so foreign to me. All I knew was it felt so good and I didn’t want it to ever end, even though we were both reaching for the climax.

  “Okay baby, let me add a little more to this and we’ll find out.” He pushed up from his elbows onto his hands and rocked his shoulders back but thrust his hips hard into me. I groaned as the sensation of him filling me so deep flashed through me from the centre to every extremity.

  Then his lips closed around my nipple and he sucked hard. The spring of need inside me clamped tight and suddenly I was right back on the edge of a climax again, waiting for him to help me jump with him.

  “Oh Xan, that feels so good. Right there, just like that.” He ground his hips into me and sucked my nipple hard and I knew I was just about done. Then he flicked his tongue over my nipple and gave me a little nip and the spike of pain was all the intense pleasure I needed to go sailing once again.

  I cried out a long throaty moan as my body bucked and rolled beneath him. He thrust into me quickly with short fast strokes until he too broke free a couple of seconds later. His hips continued to slam against me as my body absorbed and relished every thrust. I gripped my hands even tighter to his butt and cried out again. My climax rolled on and on, fed by Xander’s.

  Finally the tension began to drain from my body and I was left with a warm feeling of contentment throughout me. He lowered himself back to his elbows and nuzzled his face into my neck.

  Neither of u
s said anything for a few long moment—both relaxing in the afterglow.

  Finally he spoke. “That was something else.”

  “It sure was. Now I know what all the fuss is about.” I agreed. There was no way I could argue with that.

  He grinned and gave me a very self-assured and knowing male wink.

  “I hope you’re not sore tomorrow. I wasn’t exactly gentle.”

  “It was exactly what I wanted and I’ll be fine.” I was no stranger to pain but if I was sore, this was going to be pain that would remind me of one of my fondest memories.

  He slowly pulled out of me and trailed his fingertips down my belly.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I watched him stride across the distance to the bathroom to get rid of the condom. He came back with a wet cloth and a towel. I almost pinched myself in disbelief as he joined me again in his big bed.

  Oh my God! I’d just had the most delicious sex with Xander Todd.

  He made me feel like a woman once again. His woman.

  Chapter 19

  Eden

  The weekend flew past in a crazy haze of Xander. I awoke to him tickling his fingers down my side and over my breast. From there things escalated quickly, to us both starting the day in the flush of orgasmic bliss.

  Xander had training at ten with Reed and Dane.

  Rather than head home, I took my books and spent the time in his office studying. Well, trying to study. I had no idea I would be so distracted watching him and the other two go at it in training. They sparred and did drill after drill. It was totally insane to watch. I’d never seen anything as intense or so physically draining. The sweat was running from both of them for hours on end, but they never seemed to notice or lose intensity. It was a whole other side to professional sport; one I’d had no exposure to or idea about. But the thing that was absolutely evident was the unwavering commitment to what they were doing. Xander wanted to win and this is what he had to do to get there. I admired the hell out of his dedication and focus.

  I watched the guys for hours as the days passed. Both Xander and Dane were in amazing physical condition, but there was something that just called to me about Xander, every single time. His presence was commanding and he seemed to know exactly when I was watching him. It was a little unnerving.

  More than once he caught me staring at him through the glass of his office door. I was sitting in his chair behind the desk, but I was supposed to be studying. I didn’t want to be in the way or be the reason he wasn’t focused on his training but I also didn’t want to be apart from him, either. I realised something else. During the few weeks I’d known Xander, I’d gone from being unhappy and alone to feeling more positive. I knew that the person who had filled the hole in my soul was Xander. It seemed unreal but everyday I seemed to feel it more.

  I wanted to share everything with him. Be with him all the time but it scared me and filled me with excitement and joy all at the same time. What if it ended? Then what? Would I go back to the scared shadow of myself again or would I keep going forward? I didn’t know the answer to that question. Xander gave me the strength and encouragement I needed to fight the demons that filled me with doubts. Could I do it on my own? I didn’t know, but what’s more, I didn’t want to know.

  Xander had quickly become part of my life now and I was a better person for it.

  I was just finishing up my Friday afternoon classes when a notification beeped on my phone. I read it once, then again. My heart pounded and I felt giddy, crazy and happy all at once. Xander had changed his relationship status on Facebook to read

  “In a relationship with Eden Sommers”.

  There it was for all the world to see. Well, his friends at least. I knew this was how he thought of us because he’d introduced me to Reed as his girlfriend, but somehow that stupid little status made everything different. I really was Xander Todd’s girlfriend. A big part of me still wondered how the hell this scarred girl could possibly be of interest to him, let alone be his girlfriend.

  As I sat on the bus on the way home my phone started to beep like crazy. There were messages coming in from everywhere. Beth was buzzing me incessantly.

  Beth: Well, it’s official. FaceBook says so! I can’t believe my best friend is Xander Todd’s girlfriend.

  Me: Beth, it’s no big deal. It’s just social media. Besides you’ve known this for a couple of weeks now. It’s not like I’ve been keeping this a secret from you.

  Social media was not a big part of my life anymore. It was only a way for me to communicate and keep track of the handful of friends and people that mattered to me. When the fire happened, I’d learned a very valuable lesson about fair weather friends.

  Beth: Whatever, but that’s not going to stop me from being deliriously happy. Besides you give me hope. You’ve not only found a man but a seriously hot one.

  I had, hadn’t I! Before I could even respond my phone kept buzzing as friends of his started to comment.

  Congrats, man she’s a total babe…I guess you like them young.

  She’s stunning. How the hell did you get her to go out with you?

  You’re the man, Pretty Boy!

  My stomach turned to a knot and I realised they must have checked out my profile. The only photos up there were ones from before the fire. I bit my lip and stared out the window wondering what to do. Should I comment? Did I do nothing? Then another comment came in.

  Wasn’t she the model chick in that fire a while back?

  There was no escaping it. People knew. It would only be a matter of time before they started with the comments. Why would he be with her? Could I cope with that?

  For the next hour my stomach churned and I lived in hell. Logic told me it was social media, people could be cruel, but these were his friends.

  I was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of juice and wondering what I should do when Sophia came in. She’d just started a new job in real estate and I was excited for her. It was a great opportunity and something she wanted to do. The company was training her and putting her through the necessary courses for the licences she would need. I was proud of her. She’d kept knocking on doors until one finally opened and someone gave her a go. There was no doubt she was going to be super successful.

  “What a day! I got to go out on three appraisals and John wanted to know my thoughts about each one as we left. He even included some of my observations in his report!” She was over the moon with good reason, it seemed.

  “That’s great, Soph. I’m so pleased this job’s working out for you. Want a juice?”

  “That’d be great!”

  I got her a glass and poured one for her from the carton.

  “So what have you been up to today?”

  “Oh, nothing much. Just school.” I hoped my reply sounded casual.

  She pulled her phone from her bag.

  “Damn! Look at all these messages. I’m supposed to be going out with Rachel and Adelaide tonight.” They were Sophia’s two closest friends, had been for years. Adelaide also took classes at Onigashima, I thought. Rachel was more of the princess type and had danced ballet for years.

  “That’ll be fun. Where are you going?”

  “Um, not sure yet. Rachel’s brother Seth, has just got back into town. He’s been away in the mines for the last couple of years. So apparently we’re getting together with him and some of his friends.”

  “Oh, sounds good. What’s Tori up to?”

  “No idea.” Then she looked up at me from her phone. “Actually I think she mentioned something about catching a movie or something. Why? Won’t you be out with Sensei?”

  “Sure, I guess.” I tried to sound normal but I obviously failed.

  Her head flew up. “What’s wrong? Did he break up with you?”

  “No, why would you say that?” I couldn’t keep the defensive tone from my voice.

  “Because for the last few weeks you’ve been floating on cloud nine and now you seem down in the dumps. Or is it jus
t that time of the month?” She eyed me suspiciously trying to figure out what was wrong.

  “No. It’s not that time of the month!” Oh screw it! I needed to talk to someone and Soph was here. “Xander posted on Facebook that he’s in a relationship with me.”

  “So that’s good news, right?” She looked at me as if I’d grown a second head.

  “Yeah, but then a whole heap of his friends started to comment and…” I couldn’t quite put into words what I was feeling. “Just look for yourself.” I thrust my phone at her and she started to scroll through the comments.

  “And now you feel like a fraud, perhaps?” Sophia looked up from my phone. “Because you haven’t updated your pictures in five years?”

  I nodded. I guess that was part of it.

  “But Xander knows about your scars and has seen them.” She stuck me with a stare that said she knew we’d been intimate. “All of them, I’m guessing, and since he has no problem, then why do you care?”

  “I realise I shouldn’t care but I can’t help feeling like the ugly duckling. I used to be the swan and now I’m the ugly duckling.”

  Sophia stared at me for a little while longer. “So what are you going to do? It’s easy enough to change your profile pic.”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I’m talking to you!”

  “Have you spoken to Sensei about it?”

  “No. He’s training until six.”

  “Well stop worrying about it and talk to him later, if it bothers you that much. Otherwise ignore it. Sensei doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t want to. If he put it out there—then he’s fine with it.” It was probably sound advice but it was hard to swallow none the less.

  “I suppose.” I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally.