Brave

by Natalie Gayle

  Grace smiled. “Exactly. But you need to be in a mental state where you can see the positive rather than the negative. You’ve got there now, that often takes time. So how do you feel about him fighting?”

  How did I feel about that? I’d watched him punch The Cobra in the face on a video. One of those punches was fatal. I’d seen him train and spar.

  “I guess I’m mostly okay with it. I don’t fully understand it, but it’s obviously something he’s done all his life and has needed to do. I don’t think it’s for me to judge if it’s right or wrong. It’s not like he goes around picking fights. In fact, it seems to be the opposite. ” I told her about what had happened at the bar a few weeks ago. “Why? What do you think?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I think. What’s right for me as a person will be different for you. You need to decide if you can handle the life that comes with him—the fighting, the publicity. That’s all for you to decide. It won’t be easy, but then most relationships decisions aren’t.” Grace seemed to finish her comment with an off-handed shrug and I wondered who’d broken her heart.

  “He wants me to go to Vegas with him. I want to go for him, but after seeing that video I’m scared. I’m scared for him and for me. Oh, who am I kidding. The whole thing terrifies me. Hell, I haven’t even been on a plane since the fire. Let alone travelled to the other side of the world.”

  Grace chuckled a little. “Well Eden, the fear of flying and heading overseas is a very common fear. It’s all new and unknown. That one we can work on. As for your fears around the fight, I can help you work through what you’re feeling, but maybe you need to start by talking to him about those fears. You’re in a relationship with him after all. Do you think he’d want you stewing on something that concerned both of you or talking to him about it? ”

  Grace was right. I was in a relationship with Xander and he was the one I needed to be talking to. I’d just resisted the urge because I didn’t want to burden him with more before the fight, but maybe I was actually making it worse by not talking.

  * * *

  Xander

  I slammed my fists into the pads Reed was holding and imagined it was “Lights Out”. Visualising my opponent and choreographing combinations I’d use were just one part of my training. Reed, Seth, Dane and I had watched hours upon hours of footage of Luke “Lights Out” O’Donnell’s fights. We’d critiqued what we believed was every last aspect of his technique and Reed had adjusted my training accordingly.

  The press was sniffing around everywhere, like the parasites they were. All week we’d been switching it up to throw them off. Some days I trained at home, then I’d pop into Onigashima. Other times I trained at a gym a few suburbs over. It was all designed to keep the press at bay at least for a little while.

  I really wanted Onigashima to function as normally as possible, but unfortunately, that was just about impossible with all the press I was now attracting.

  The combination I was working on was a high low type of thing. Hit high, follow up with a low kick to the legs then a midsection pommeling. Reed was calling a new combination when Eden’s image caught my attention in the mirror and I screwed up the combination. I hadn’t been expecting her, well more to the point dad and Eden probably hadn’t been expecting me to train here today, but I’d wanted to train where I felt most comfortable and Friday was a quiet day for classes.

  “What the hell, Xander?” Reed bellowed at me.

  I ignored him and ran across the mats and popped a kiss on her lips quickly. She tasted like heaven and I’d like nothing more than to give her a huge hug but I had sweat running off me and I’m sure I smelt worse. “Hey, gorgeous. I wasn’t expecting you just yet.”

  “Obviously! I wasn’t expecting you either.” Then she dropped her voice. “Reed looks really grumpy!”

  “Yeah. I screwed up that combination because I spotted my girl.” That got a coy little grin out of her.

  “Well get over there. I don’t want him yelling at me.” She pushed at me to get going back across the mats.

  “Okay, Gem.” I smiled and dropped another quick kiss to her lips then trotted over to Reed. I watched her and dad who’d been grinning two steps behind head into my office.

  “Unbelievable!” Reed growled. “I never thought you were the type to get distracted. I was wrong.”

  “Oh, for fucks sake! Give me a break. I haven’t seen my girl in days. Let’s get this done. I’m sick of looking at your ugly mug.” He put up the pads and I went to work again pounding as hard as I could.

  “Not sure it’s a good idea bringing her to Vegas, Xan. You can’t get distracted like that!” Reed was grunting between words from the impact of my hits.

  “I’ll be fine. She either goes or I stay at home!” I said it with as much steel in my voice as I could manage between controlling my breathing

  Reed shook his head in annoyance. “I can only prepare you. You need to be in the moment. You’ve seen the footage. “Lights Out” has been on a rampage lately. It’s going to take all your concentration to take him down, man. Your head must be in the game. Physically you’re stronger than ever, but mentally man?”

  “You think I can’t do it?” I felt my temper flare. Fuck him for doubting me.

  “I think you can if you’re fully in the game. But I’m not sure you are? You haven’t had a fight in over three years. You’re bound to have ring rust, every fighter coming back from that sort of lay off does.”

  I huffed out a breath. “Well, be sure. I’m there. I’m not doing this for fucking fun, ring rust or not.” My temper was really starting to run wild and I slammed my fist emphasising every word. “What’s your problem with Eden anyway?”

  Reed didn’t say anything just held the pads as I started to work his mid section with a flurry of fast kicks. My shin was numb from the impact on the pads. Good, I just went harder and faster.

  “She’s too soft to be a fighter’s woman.”

  That pissed me off to the point of rage. He knew nothing, but was happy to judge. Somewhere I found another gear and seriously started to unleash. My arms and legs flew in a complete flurry. I channelled all my latent rage at Reed into smashing those pads. I could tell he was struggling to hold them up. Perfect. Prick deserved everything I was dishing out.

  Eden was a fighter, too, just a different type. I wondered if Reed or I would have been brave enough to go downstairs into a fire to find her sister, if either of us had been in her place. That took some type of guts and love to do that. Eden was exactly the sort of person I wanted on my team—beside me, with me. Maybe Reed couldn’t see it, but I knew what my girl was made of. Fuck, if I didn’t have this fight coming up I’d deck the arsehole, but then if I didn’t have this fight coming up Reed probably wouldn’t be behaving like this.

  My anger at Reed reached boiling point and I lashed out with a front jam. It was a hellishly powerful kick designed to drive your opponent way back. That’s exactly what it did. Reed went back at least three paces and stumbled a bit.

  I was done.

  “Back the fuck of Eden or we’ll have trouble, Reed. This is my last warning.” His face registered surprise at the ferocity of my kick. “I’m done for the day.” Reed could choke on it right now for all I cared.

  I spun on my heel and stormed off to get a shower. As I passed the door to my office I saw dad give me a slight nod and right there I knew he’d witnessed the whole thing. Reed may think I was a dead shit but I knew dad was proud.

  That would do me just fine.

  Chapter 25

  Xander

  The Saturday before I was due to leave for the USA, Onigashima officially became a mob scene. I’d trained in the morning with Reed and the tension was there between us, but we seemed to have come to some unspoken truce. I was training my arse off. No way was I going to give him a single thing to bitch at me about, but the Eden issue was still hanging between us and neither one of us was going to back down. Well, that was just fine with me.

  Dane, Owe
n and Lincoln had planned a bit of an Onigashima send-off party with my students. Only problem was, somehow the media had got wind of it as well and were now crawling all over the place.

  I’d gone in early to train and dad and Eden were coming in later. She’d stayed over last night. God, I’d needed her. Sure I needed to be over her, in her and all around her, but I’d also just needed to spend some quiet time with her to decompress and keep things in perspective. So far I’d been doing well at ignoring all the press. I was making daily Facebook, Instagram and Twitter posts as I agreed, but that was it. I wasn’t responding to anything or even looking at my newsfeed, nor was I doing any other internet surfing. The only time I touched my phone was to take a call or respond to text messages. I couldn’t buy into all the bullshit.

  Seth and I were rolling around on the floor working on my ground game when Dane came through the front doors looking frazzled. Reed was using Seth mainly as my training partner for ground techniques because he was a couple of weight classes above me and had one hell of a ground game which came from his specialisation in Brazilian JuJitsu. Anyway you put it, Seth was a big unit to get through on the ground.

  “It’s a zoo out there.” Dane not only looked a little frazzled, but sounded it as well.

  “As long as it stays out there and doesn’t interrupt my training,” Reed snapped.

  I tried to focus as Seth and I fought for a lock up and tap out.

  “Well, everyone’s going to be arriving in about thirty minutes and the carpark is full of press. What the hell do you want to do?” Dane demanded. He had a point. These sort of things could get out of hand really quickly and I didn’t want any trouble with just about every one of my students turning up. The guys had pulled up the mats in the second training studio to create a party room. The caterers were around back now, setting up. I’d decided to make it easy and hire a mobile Asian noodle box company to cater.

  Both Seth’s and my concentration were slipping and Reed knew it. “Fuck! Cool down fellas. We’re shot for anything else useful now.”

  Seth and I broke apart; neither one of us prepared to admit defeat. We were quite evenly matched despite the weight advantage Seth had over me. Dane glared at me expectantly as if to say “What the hell?”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll go talk to them. Maybe if I do that, they’ll back off. Just give me a few minutes to stretch out.” It wasn’t likely, but worth a shot. He nodded, but looked about as convinced as I felt.

  I stretched out then grabbed my towel from the side of the mat and towelled off the worst of the sweat between taking sips from my water bottle. I felt like facing the “pack” about as much as I wanted to sit through a root canal, but what other options were there?

  “I’ll come out with you,” Reed said to me as he finished up some notes he’d made on my training session.

  “Okay.”

  Together we walked to the door and Reed went through first, and I followed directly behind. The noise was almost deafening. Everyone was shouting and screaming my name. “Xander, tell us how the training’s going.” “Xander, is it true…” “Xander, what do you think…” Microphones were pushed into my face and cameras were clicking incessantly.

  Reed put his fingers to his mouth and let out an ear splitting whistle; then he bellowed in his best drill sergeant voice, “Back up guys!” I knew it well. But it had the desired effect. The pack of fifty or so reporters and photographers all seemed to take a collective step back. They weren’t exactly silent, but at least they were quieter now.

  I moved to stand by Reed. “I figured you wanted to talk to me. How about I make you a deal?” That created a little bit of stir amongst them. “I’ll answer questions for the next fifteen minutes, but then I need you to clear out of here. It’s obviously not a secret because you’re all here, but my students and I are having a private party. I’d appreciate if you allowed them to enter and exit safely.”

  There were some nods. I really didn’t expect them to agree, but I could hope. Every word I said was being recorded and I wanted to make sure I came across as being responsible and looking out for my students, while still offering these vultures some level of access and respect.

  I turned slightly to Reed, “Will you pick them out for questions?”

  “Yeah,” he growled. “Okay, let’s get this done. Anyone with a question raise your hand and I’ll pick you out one by one.” I kept staring at the crowd, sizing them up.

  “Okay, who’s got the first question?” Just about every hand in the crowd shot up. “Lady in the blue blouse.” Reed pointed to a red head about two back from the front. She looked like she was a TV reporter. Cameramen were clambering from all sorts of positions looking to get a clear view. Hell, a few were perched on the block wall that ran down the side of the building and along the carpark to the street. Another couple were on the industrial waste bin, in the property next door. I counted four standing on top of news trucks. It was quite ridiculous.

  “Xander, how’s the training going?”

  Good an easy one to start with. “Great. Everything’s on schedule and we’re all very happy with my prep.” Reed nodded emphasising the point. Even if my training was going like crap there was no way I’d be admitting to that.

  “Bloke in the grey shirt.”

  “Xander, what tactics are you going to use to beat “Lights Out”?”

  As if I was going to answer that one honestly! “Well, we’ve been watching a lot of film and we think we’ve got a game plan, just like I’m sure Luke has. It’ll come down to who’s fitter, and who wants it more.”

  I answered another three or four innocuous questions about training and my routine. As with all these sorts of things I tried to give them something but really said nothing.

  “Bloke in the black cap.”

  “Xander, there’s been a lot said about this fight already. What really made you come out of retirement now? Was it the money?”

  I took a deep breath. So we were getting to the more “pointed” questions. “First of all, I was never officially retired. I was otherwise occupied getting Onigashima off the ground. Secondly, I’ve never fought because of the money. Sure it’s nice and it’s allowed me to do stuff like build this place and live a pretty good lifestyle for a guy my age, but it’s not about the money; never has been. Never will be.” I left it at that hoping he’d let it go.

  “So what is it then?” The guy in the black cap piped up again.

  “I fight because it’s always been a part of me. Some people are born to run or play a musical instrument or draw or something. Me, I was born to fight. So that’s what I’m doing. I love the challenge—pushing myself.”

  “What about the last fight.” “How can you deal with the…” They were all talking at once again. Reed’s shrill whistle split the air again.

  “Pipe down or we walk inside and call the cops to have you all moved along. You’re standing on private property and Xander is good enough to give you some of his time. Wait your turn,” Reed ripped into them and they hushed down a little. “Tall guy over there.” Reed pointed off to the left.

  “Xander, how do you deal with knowing you killed a man? You’ve got a confidence problem. Isn’t that the reason you really haven’t got back in the cage?” I sucked in a breath and forced my expression to remain blank. That one cut close to the bone, but I was expecting it. It wasn’t the first time that question had been levelled at me. If I was going to get these scavengers off my tail, then I was going to need to give them something more about the last fight.

  “Knowing I killed a man is a burden I’ll carry everyday for the rest of my life and I take that very seriously.” A hush seemed to descend on the group. “But I can’t let it prevent me from being everything I can be, otherwise two lives would have been lost that night. As for whether I have a confidence problem, I guess that’s yet to be seen, but let me say this. I thought long and hard before I took this fight and never before have I ever been so committed to not just getting in the cage, but
winning. That’s all I can give you at the moment. You’ll have your answer in a couple weeks.”

  Reed gave the nod to a woman in a cream suit. “Rumour has it you’re carrying a shoulder injury. Is there any truth in that?”

  I laughed at that and rolled both shoulders and threw a few jabs. “That one’s news to me, folks, so unless you have a crystal ball or something… nope no injuries.”

  “Man up the back on the right.” Reed gave him the nod.

  “Xander your FaceBook status says you’re in a relationship with Eden Sommers; care to elaborate on that?”

  I knew there was no way they could leave my personal life alone. “Well, if you read it on FaceBook it must be true.” I emphasised that with an eyebrow raise and pointed look. There were a few light chuckles around the crowd. “But in this case I can confirm that information is correct.”

  “How does she feel about you fighting?” someone asked.

  “She’s very supportive of what I’m doing.”

  “Why don’t we ever see you together?”

  “Eden is very busy with some other commitments at the moment. She’ll be in Vegas with me when it counts.” I didn’t want to give them anything more than I absolutely had to; otherwise they’d hound her.

  Reed was getting even more edgy beside me. He wanted the questions focused on the fight just like I did, but the vultures always wanted to pick over the juicy bits. I could see a few of my students starting to arrive and trying to figure out how to get through the crush of press.

  “Final question people, then you need to move along,” Reed called out in a very authoritative tone. He gave the nod to a wiry little man in the middle of the crowd.

  “Is it true Eden has severe disfigurements from burns?”

  Fuck me! How the hell did I answer that question?

  I was in two minds should I answer it or not. It was one of those damned whatever way you went situations.