Still Waters

by Jayne Rylon

  He pushed up onto his elbows, reluctant to leave the oasis Vaughn had made for them and return to the real world. He squinted at Vaughn, who lounged stretched out alongside him, something white and rectangular balanced on one knee. Bryant blinked and scrubbed his eyes with the back of his knuckles. “What are you doing?”

  “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Vaughn paused whatever he was up to, a pencil clutched in his hand. The tip hovered over an old-fashioned notebook. The paper kind, not the electronic sort everyone else Bryant knew used these days.

  “Are you drawing? Can I see?” Curiosity piqued, he levered himself higher and craned his neck.

  Vaughn tipped his pad away from Bryant. “It’s nothing important. Just doodling.”

  “I let you fuck me stupid. The least you could do is trust me enough to show me your art. You’re really great at it, you know. I’ve seen all the tattoos you’ve given Austin and Sterling. They love them. Makes me sort of wish I had something I wanted permanently on my skin.”

  “Really?” Vaughn raised his brows. “Okay then. What do you think about this?”

  He showed Bryant what he’d been sketching.

  It was him. Lying naked in Vaughn’s bed. Except in the drawing, he was covered with ink. Most notably, a full chest piece.

  The details were hazy, but there was a compass, the silhouette of a cowboy that even pre-coffee screamed Jake, and water. The entire thing was surrounded by a background of splashes that made it look as if someone had dropped it into a puddle or maybe the pond where Vaughn had stumbled across him skinny dipping that summer so long ago. There was a particularly smudgy spot at the center where it looked like Vaughn had erased something from his work in progress.

  Bryant grinned. Seeing himself through Vaughn’s eyes boosted his ego. He looked more like the cowboy he’d been raised to be instead of the repressed nerd he’d thought of himself as for too long. “Well, damn. I look pretty fucking hot tatted up.”

  “Uh huh.” Vaughn nodded, his eyes turning hungry again.

  “What’s that?” Bryant asked as he pointed to the indistinct section of the sketch.

  Vaughn shook his head. “Nothing, yet.”

  “What could it be?” It was fascinating to behold the potential Vaughn saw in him come to life. To imagine that he might become that self-assured, sinfully sexy man, who indulged in a wild affair and gave as good as he got if they spent too many more nights like this one together.

  “I guess that’s up to you.” Vaughn refused to meet his stare. “It’s just a dumb sketch.”

  Funny, it felt more like a vision to Bryant. A glimpse of a very promising future where he became the man he’d always wanted to be. A real Compton. “Could I have it?”

  Vaughn hesitated, as if he wanted to keep it. Then he smiled. “Sure. I’ll even sign it for you.”

  He scribbled his signature at the bottom along with 1/2.

  “What’s the 1/2 for?” Bryant wondered.

  “One of two. I’m going to draw myself a copy.” He grinned. “I want to remember this night forever. I hope you don’t mind me keeping a souvenir. I promise I don’t do this with every guy I sleep with. I don’t hoard pictures of my conquests. It’s just you. This…meant something to me.”

  Bryant knew it was sappy, but he squirmed a little inside anyway. To know that he could have this—a man who was a powerhouse alpha in bed and still romantic. That he could learn to stand just as strong. It was everything he’d ever dreamed of. Wished for.

  He reached up and tugged Vaughn’s shoulders toward him some. Not enough so that they ended up tangled together on the sheets, though he wished he had time for that. Just a bit, so that he could kiss Vaughn, and remind them both of how they’d spent so much of last night.

  “I take it that means it’s okay?” Vaughn made sure not to violate Bryant, which only made him second-guess the building urge he had to get up and get dressed.

  “Of course. Hopefully you can do it from memory, though. I’ve got to go home. I need to talk to my dad about sponsoring my thesis project for school.” Tension began to seep back into his muscles, knotting them.

  Vaughn rubbed his back, easing it again. “Hey, you know he’ll do it. Sam and your uncles would do anything for you. I think that’s why Jake never told them about what happened. He was afraid they’d get themselves in trouble by going after that prick and tearing him apart.”

  “Probably true.” Bryant sighed. “But I want my dad to agree because it’s a sound investment for the ranch, not because he’s my dad. I’ve taken enough. I need to give something back. But it’s a lot of money. What if it doesn’t work like I think—”

  “Hey.” Vaughn shook him a little then. “You’ve got this. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re better than you think you are. Especially at blowjobs, though you’re welcome to practice on me anytime if you’re still not sure about that.”

  Bryant snorted a laugh. “Thanks.”

  Vaughn kissed him quickly, stopping before either of them could get sidetracked. “I guess I better clean up the shop, send appointment reminders, put in the supply order, and get ready for reopening this afternoon. My schedule is packed since I cancelled appointments yesterday and so many people want Jake memorials.”

  “They do? That’s amazing.” Bryant considered whether or not he should do something similar. Listening to Austin’s ideas for his own design the night before had sparked something in Bryant. Not to mention Vaughn’s drawings. He’d have to think about it. “Well, I better let you get to it then.”

  Had he taken too much of Vaughn’s time? And when he left, was Vaughn expecting him to come back…tonight or ever?

  As if he could sense Bryant’s hesitation, Vaughn asked softly, “When can I see you again?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m going to be ridiculously busy trying to get this thing built and functional in time to finish my thesis by the deadline.”

  “When is that, exactly?” Vaughn wondered.

  “A month from yesterday. The theoretical part of my paper took a lot longer than anticipated to complete and get approved.” Bryant winced as he sat up and flung his legs over the edge of the bed. There really wasn’t any time to waste.

  Vaughn whistled. “That’s not very long. Do you need an assistant? I don’t have to work until the evening. I could help out with the grunt work. Come out there early, before the days get too hot. I could probably put in five or six hours each morning for as long as you need me.”

  Bryant wasn’t about to turn down either a hand or the chance to spend more time with Vaughn. “That would be great. You know, if my dad agrees.”

  “Go on, then.” Vaughn slapped Bryant’s ass and turned him toward the door. “You’re not going to feel better until you hash it out with him.”

  “I’m not going to feel better until I provide substantial hydrological resources for Compass Ranch and earn my doctoral degree.”

  “Overachiever.” Vaughn grinned. “I can’t wait to call you Dr. Compton. That will be something.”

  It set him on fire that Vaughn was so proud of him and his achievements. So certain that Bryant had it in him to see this through. It did a lot to bolster his confidence as he got dressed, kissed Vaughn goodbye, then climbed into his truck, and headed home.

  When he took one final glance in his rearview mirror and saw Vaughn standing out on his balcony, watching him go, he had to blink away the moisture in his eyes.

  He looked skyward and whispered, “Thanks, Jake. You were right. As always.”

  9

  “Dad, can I talk to you about something?” Bryant thought back to Jake’s advice as he hovered on the threshold to his father’s office, where Sam managed the ranch and its financials.

  He was ready to make a significant contribution to Compass Ranch. He just needed his father to believe he was capable of it. To trust him and take a chance. Then be able to deliver on the promises he made to Jake, his dad, the thesis board, and himself.

  �
�Hey, Bryant.” Sam waved him inside and toward a chair. “Of course. Sorry I haven’t spent more time catching up. This past week… It’s been rough.”

  Bryant had heard some rumors. About his mother, father, Jake, and the special relationship they’d had, especially when she was—hell, about the age he was now. Things he didn’t honestly understand or want to know all the details about. Based on the shred of evidence Jake had given him in their final phone conversation, the gossip likely held some truth. His parents seemed to be mourning Jake harder than even the Compass Boys, who’d always thought of him as their surrogate grandfather, seeing as JD had passed away before they were born.

  “I can come back some other time.” He shifted from one boot to another. It felt odd to be wearing them again. He’d gotten used to the dress shoes he’d donned in his lab. Not that different from his father, he supposed, who’d gone to New York City for a time to work as some kind of financial guru before he’d returned to Compass Ranch when JD had gotten cancer.

  In that way, they were a lot alike. Neither had the desire to work the land the way Uncle Silas or Uncle Seth did. That didn’t mean his father wasn’t crucial to the ranch’s success. It also meant Bryant had some chance to make an equal impact in his own way…if he stood up for himself now and asked for what he needed in order to prove his worth.

  “Actually, no. Dad, I take it back.” Bryant tucked his hands in his pockets. He rocked on his heels yet held his ground. “I need to talk to you now.”

  “It must be serious.” His dad cocked his head sideways, sort of like a confused dog. “I’ve never seen you quite like this.”

  Bryant nodded.

  Sam smiled. “I like it.”

  “You might not when you hear what I’m thinking.” Bryant stepped closer and leaned his hip against his father’s desk. “It’s like this: I have to do a final project. Something to give my thesis some merit. I have to implement a practical application that demonstrates the viability of my design developments.”

  “Anything you need for school, you know we’re behind you.” Sam smiled. “We’re proud of you, Dr. Compton.”

  Bryant wished people would stop calling him that until it was official. It felt like they might jinx it or something. Besides, he hadn’t earned the honor quite yet.

  “If this goes right, I’ll deserve that.” He didn’t want to hide behind his degree, though. This was about more than an assignment. “It’s not just school I’m talking about. I feel like I can do something for the ranch. Something major. I’d talked about my ideas some with Jake. He agreed they would be a good fit for our operations.”

  Now he wasn’t there to help him pitch his dad on a major outlay.

  So Bryant would have to do it for them both.

  “He might not have had three degrees.” Sam crossed his arms, poking fun at himself and his own MBA every bit as much as Bryant’s higher education. “But he was a smart man. One of the most intuitive I’ve ever met. Let’s hear it. If he approved, I’m sure I’ll agree.”

  “It hinges on recapturing evapotranspiration and channeling those resources. Attacking our consumption rates through an intelligent irrigation system while increasing the reserves on the ranch. There’s a special polymer I can infuse in the soil. It will retain up to four hundred percent more moisture than untreated soil. In addition, we can add reserve tanks and modify the feed types we’re growing. With these and other adjustments, plus the addition of catchment and retention systems, we can expect to drop our reliance on fresh rainwater to seventeen percent of today’s requirements.”

  “Son, I’m not going to pretend I understand seventeen percent of what you’re saying right now, except I think you’re telling me that we’d be able to survive an epic drought with the changes you want to make. Is that right?” His dad’s face grew serious.

  Bryant nodded. “Yes. Even with the crazy weather patterns and climate change shifts we’ve been seeing, we could be insulated from most of those seasonal variations. I project that once everything is online and at capacity, we could sustain Compass Ranch’s average water usage for two full years, potentially longer.”

  “Well, shit. That would be…incredible.” Sam rubbed his hand over his face. “So how much is all this going to cost us?”

  “I could do a tiny mockup that would generate enough evidence to finish my project for about seven grand. But if you want me to do it right, to actually implement my designs…to go all in, we’d be looking at closer to a hundred thousand dollars.”

  Sam spun around in his chair at that. He whistled as he stared out at the ranch behind them. “That’s a lot of money, son. At any time, but especially now. We’ve got a lot tied up in Seth’s new line and allocated for an upgraded rig for Austin. It’s…”

  Bryant tried to rein in his disappointment. There would always be another shot later. “I understand.”

  “No, I don’t think you do.” Sam rotated back to stare at Bryant. “I need a couple of days to make some calls, but you’re going to have that cash. Jake believed in you, and so do I. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  Bryant whipped around and stared at the wall until his eyes stopped stinging dangerously. “Thank you.”

  “No, Bryant. Thank you. For making our home a better place.”

  “It’s not done yet. And…Dad, it’s an experiment. It might not work. I could fail. Bad.”

  “Do you believe you’ve got something?” Sam asked.

  Bryant nodded. “I’ve done the calculations a million times. It should work.”

  “Then it will.” Sam shrugged as if it were already a foregone conclusion.

  “I can’t control the weather, though.” Bryant wanted to make absolutely sure his dad understood the risk they were taking. “I can build the system. Lay the foundation. But if it doesn’t rain enough, it won’t be up to full capacity. Ideally, this should have been finished months ago. We’ve missed almost the entire spring already…”

  “Don’t do that, Bryant.” Sam leveled a stern look he’d reserved for times like when he, Austin, Doug, and James had accidentally burned down one of the ranch’s sheds when they were kids.

  He took a step back. “What did I do?”

  “Doubted yourself.” Sam leaned forward then. “You’re bright as fuck. And a good kid. I wish you’d see what the rest of us do when we look at you.”

  Bryant’s stare inadvertently slid to the mirror on the wall beside his father’s desk. It surprised him, seeing them both reflected there, how alike they were. As he aged, he was starting to look more and more like a Compton. But he’d never quite felt like one inside.

  Because he was gay? Maybe, though his family had been very accepting when they’d realized he was into guys. Just like his project, however, it had been a theoretical exercise. He’d never brought a guy around, or even been with one, not since that day in the barn.

  He didn’t even want to think about that in his dad’s office in case the guy could read his mind or something. Jake had taken that secret to his grave. The only person around who knew about it now was Vaughn.

  Vaughn.

  Bryant thought of the night before and the subtle ache in his muscles today. What would his family say if they knew how he’d spent the hours after Jake’s funeral? He didn’t think it was disrespectful to his hero. After all, Jake had told him he should have hooked up with Vaughn.

  Hopefully it wasn’t too late to take his advice.

  “Anything else you want to talk about? Your sister mentioned you didn’t come home last night. She was worried until I told her about Vaughn’s truck parked in the yard.” Sam rocked back and put his boots on his desk, his legs crossed at the ankles. “I know you boys confided in Jake and relied on his advice, but I hope you never forget that I’m here for you. Me and your uncles. Your mom and your aunts. You can talk to any of us at any time.”

  Yeah. Right. Bryant wasn’t about to be sharing the intimate details of his love life with his father.

  But maybe just one thing… “Are
you disappointed that I’m gay?”

  Sam laughed so hard he started coughing. Until he realized Bryant was serious. “What would ever make you wonder about that? I don’t care who you’re attracted to. As long as they’re of age and you treat each other with respect, I’ll be glad when you find someone to love. Seriously, Bryant, have you spent more than one moment worrying about that? Ever?”

  He nodded slowly. “It’s not easy growing up around all of you dominant guys. Uncle Silas, Uncle Seth, you, Uncle Sawyer, you’re enough to give a guy a complex.”

  “What about Uncle Colby?” Sam shrugged.

  “What about him?” He was just as fierce as the rest. Another Compton man with brass balls bigger than Bryant would ever have. “Jake said something about him too. That I should talk to him sometime.”

  “See, you should listen to your elders. I mean, you remind me a lot of him when he was your age.” His dad tapped his chin. “I guess he’s changed some over time, but he was always happy to let Silas take the lead. Nothing wrong with that. He also kept your uncle from doing dumb shit, or letting his temper get out of hand. If two guys like Uncle Silas tried to hook up, I’m thinking it would be a disaster. There has to be give and take. Different areas and types of strength. Otherwise, all you’d do was butt heads constantly. True of any relationship, really.”

  “I guess you’re right.” Plus, the more he thought about it, the more he realized his aunts were every bit as intimidating as their husbands, just in other ways.

  “And if you’re worried that you’re the freakiest Compton just because you like other guys, I’m afraid to tell you that your mother and I have you—and the rest of them—beat by a mile.”

  Bryant shook his head. This was one competition he didn’t need to win. He held up his hands, palms out. He hadn’t cared to hear about their sexcapades from Jake, the rumor mill, and definitely not directly from his own father. “You know what. I’m good. That’s all I needed to hear.”

  He straightened up and edged toward the door of his father’s office. Sam wasn’t about to let that be the end of it, though. “I’m honestly proud of you, son. For more than your grades. Don’t forget that, okay?”