Double Daddy Trouble: A Groomsman Menage

by Violet Paige

  I couldn’t believe it, but I was already going over that mental list of things I needed to do to leave. How soon could we move away? Would I be able to get a new job? Where would we go?

  I never was really close to my parents, but moving back to South Carolina seemed like the obvious choice. Maybe they would let us crash with them for a while till I got back on my feet.

  Neither my father or mother were very happy when I told them that I was pregnant. As much as they loved their granddaughter, their opinion of me was that I made my bed and was now stuck with the consequences of it.

  It wasn’t a big shock to me when they were less than thrilled. I had grown up in a very prominent bible thumping Baptist town with very devout parents. I unquestionably wasn’t the first one in my community to get pregnant without a father in the picture, but that didn’t make the sting any less for my parents.

  I carried Emma up the two flights of stairs to our small two bedroom apartment. It was modest and simple, but that worked well for us. We didn’t take up much space and didn’t need much.

  “How about I put some PJ Mask on for you, and you can snuggle on the couch?” I asked Emma.

  She quietly nodded her reply not lifting her head from my shoulder.

  Settling Emma on the couch surrounded by her favorite blanket and fluffy pillow I put on her shows. She would happily watch the same season a million times, despite the fact she already knew it all by heart.

  I sat down to a pile of papers to grade. I usually didn’t have to do such things being the P.E. teacher, but this year I also added the task of teaching the cardio health class. It was half a year of health education and half a year of cardio training.

  It was a class required for all ninth graders. It made it that much more tedious to read paper after paper of thirteen-year-olds explaining what they think healthy nutrition looks like. I was pretty sure they didn’t care about writing the assignment anymore then I was to read it. Sadly it was a state requirement for the both of us.

  Thankfully my phone rang pulling me away from my papers. I looked down at my smartphone and was slightly less thankful for the call.

  “Hi, Mom,” I said doing my best to hide a heavy sigh.

  Of my two parents, I got along the least with her. My mother was a southern bell through and through. I on the other had played sports and didn’t care much for revivals. We never got along through my teenage years, and then I went and chose to move away to Georgia for college.

  Having Emma was the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. Very few words ever seemed to pass between us solely for the fact we had nothing in common.

  “How is that granddaughter of mine doing?” She asked.

  I had to give it to my mom, even if we didn't have the best of relationship she did care for Emma.

  “Still the same, not feeling too great.”

  “Did you take her to the doctor like I told you?”

  I rolled my eyes, “yes I did. I am capable of taking care of my own child.”

  “Well, what did they say?” She said ignoring my jab.

  “Just that it was probably a cold. He took swabs for the flu and strep, and both came back negative.”

  “That’s good at least,” she said more to herself than to me.

  “Do you think she will be better by next weekend?”

  “I don’t know Mom,” I answered knowing why she asked.

  My younger sister’s sixteenth birthday was going to be held the following weekend. Where we lived, your sixteenth birthday was akin to a coming out into society with southern bell dress and all.

  Alexa was the daughter Mom always wished for. With eleven years between us, we weren't that close to each other. That being said, I would have still liked to go to her party even if it was going to be a tafia barf fest.

  “I plan on it, but if Em is not feeling well probably not.”

  “Maybe you could just leave her with your friend, whats her name again?”

  “Savannah.”

  “Yeah, that one,” Mom affirmed.

  Savannah was a born and raised California girl. She moved to Georgia when she was seventeen with her mother and new step-father. Though Savannah had stayed in the southern state, nothing could change her from her long hair, hippie, granola eating ways. This, of course, deemed her ‘that one’ in my mother’s eyes like she was more related to aliens then human beings.

  “I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving Em if she isn’t feeling well.”

  You could just come for the party. It's only a two-hour drive. You could come up for the party and be home in time to put Emma to bed.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I said not wanting to argue over the matter.

  “Your sister only turns sixteen once,” she guilted, apparently not letting it drop.

  “I know Mom.”

  “I just hate that you are so far away. I wish you were closer, then maybe you and Alexa would be better friends.”

  “It’s not like I am trying to avoid it because I don't want to be around my sister. My kid is sick. What do you expect me to do?”

  “Hmmm,” she huffed in her that’s what I get for having a kid outside of wedlock kind of way.

  I was seriously reconsidering my thoughts about moving back home. The one conversation had cured me of ever wanting to live near her again.

  None the less, I figure it wouldn’t hurt just to put my feelers out.

  “Hey Mom, I was kinda thinking about maybe moving back up that way actually?”

  “You were?” She said just as surprised as I was that the words actually left my mouth.

  “Yeah. I mean, you guys are Em’s only grandparents maybe she should be closer to you.”

  “You know we aren’t her only ones,” Mom said pointedly.

  She never liked the fact that I wouldn't come out and say who the father way. I am sure she guessed it was Hawk. After all, I was in a two-year relationship with him before he left.

  She only asked once who the father was. That was when I first told her I was pregnant. All I said was that he wasn’t in the picture anymore, so it didn’t matter. We had never spoken of the other half of Emma’s gene pool again. That is until this moment.

  Why on all days did Mom have to bring up Emma’s paternal connections today? My mind immediately turned back to Hawk sitting in his father's doctors office today.

  I couldn’t help but feel my treacherous heart skip a beat at the image of him in my head. I couldn’t believe after all these years, and what he had done to me, my body would still react such a way at the thought of him.

  “Forget it, Mom. Forget I said anything. I got to go make dinner for Em now. I’ll take to you later.”

  I hung up the phone and got up out of the plain kitchen chair. Just the thought of Hawk made me light headed. I had to do something, keep myself busy, so my mind no longer could wander.

  One thing was for sure; I could cross out moving back home from my list of escape routes. Maybe I would be lucky enough that Hawk wouldn’t give our encounters a second thought.

  Evidently, he never thought I would stick around here, or that he might see me again. Maybe he was just as keen to avoid me as I was to avoid him. If that was the case, a simple change of doctors would do the trick, and we might never have to cross paths again.

  I walked over to Emma. Realizing she had fallen asleep on the couch, I couldn’t help but relax my anxiety a little. Nothing was more soothing then seeing my own baby peaceful at rest.

  I came to sit next to her as gently as possible and placed a hand on her forehead. She was still a little warm. Soon I would need to give her the next dose of fever reducer. I debated waking her up to do it our just waiting for her to wake up on her own.

  I couldn’t help but play with her soft locks of black hair. Just like Hawk’s, it pained me to realize. There was so much of me in her it was easy to ignore the parts of him. But now that I had seen Hawk face to face again, all I could see in her angelic sleeping face was his visage lookin
g back at me.

  My head was spinning. My mind couldn’t comprehend how everything could drastically change in one day. I wanted to curl up in my own bed and never come away. Looking at that little girl in front of me, I knew I couldn’t. No matter how much I wanted to crumble, I had to keep my head clear just for her.

  I took a steadying breath.

  I gave a little start when a knock came at my door.

  I checked Emma one last time to make sure it didn’t wake her. Getting up, I went to open the door. I was speechless to see the man standing before me.

  “Jules, we need to seriously talk.”

  Five

  I was struggling to keep my temper. The longer I thought about it, however, the more and more I was sure that Julie had something she was keeping from me. I was boiling over with rage. How could she have a child, my child, and not so much as tell me?

  I may have gone to another country, but it wasn’t like I was on another planet. I mean, Julie saw my father as her doctor. She had ample opportunity to tell me she was pregnant and just chose not to.

  I didn’t wait to be invited. Instead, I stormed right into the room.

  “Come on in,” she said sarcastically as I paced back and forth like a caged animal.

  “Is there something you want, Hawk, or are you just here to stomp around,” she said crossing her arms in front of her.

  “You damn well know why I am here,” I stopped and pointed a finger at her.

  I took a deep breath. I needed to cool down before I lost my temper.

  “Just,” I said pinching the arch of my nose, “just tell me the truth. I saw your little girls paperwork, and I couldn’t help but notice…” I trailed off.

  Hell, I may have seen more blood and gore then the average without even a flinch, but asking Julie if that was my daughter was more then I had courage for.

  “I don’t know what you think you saw in her paperwork, but I don’t know what you are talking about,” she retorted folding her arms.

  “Like hell, you don’t know!” I spat.

  “Shhh!” She said quickly.

  Looking behind her, I saw the little girl fast asleep on the couch. Seeing that sleeping child, I knew now more then ever she had to be my child. Maybe I just saw something I hoped was there.

  “You know what I am asking Jules,” I said now just above a whisper. “Is she…is she mine?” I finally managed to get out.

  She stood back a little shocked like she didn’t believe I would actually ask. She looked back at the little girl again as if weight her options. Finally, she grabbed my wrist and tugged at me.

  “Come on,” she said pulling me towards the back of the apartment. “I don't need you waking her up.”

  We walked silently down the hall and into a room. One quick look around told me it was hers. Not only did it have a queen bed with a simplistic white comforter, but it was also a disheveled mess.

  I raised an eyebrow at her as I looked around. The dresser was covered entirely in trinkets, folded clothes not yet put away, and various papers. On the floor was a massive pile of laundry. The bed was unmade, and shoes laid scattered everywhere.

  I may have changed in the last six years, but from the looks of Julie’s room, she was exactly the same. I coughed a little to hid a laugh.

  “What? Something you want to say?” She said arching her own thin brow in my direction.

  She shoved some shoes under her bed and pulled up the comforter over it.

  “Nothing at all. It’s just good to see your still the same.”

  “I’m not the same,” she said in a harsh tone. “You think I would just stay here frozen in time waiting for you to come back. Life moves on, and so did I.”

  I couldn’t help but feel my heart sink a little. I really couldn’t blame her for moving passed me, but at the same time, I couldn’t honestly say the same.

  “Look, Jules. What happened…”

  “I don’t care. You up and left out of the blue. Two years and not even a goodbye. I don’t care, though. I am past it, and I appreciate it if you would just drop it too.”

  “Okay, if that is what you want, fine,” I said trying to calm the anger I could see brewing in her.

  She may have said she was past it, but it was easy to see still that it was raw.

  “Just tell me. Is she mine?”

  Julie sank down on the bed she had just quickly made. I was prepared to hear her say what I knew deep down.

  “It was right after you left,” she said softly. “I was heartbroken. I went to a party with Savannah. She thought it would get me out of my funk. It was just a one-night thing that didn’t mean anything. But I found out a month later something more came of it.”

  ‘Bullshit,” I said not believing her.

  I thought back to the girl laying on the couch. It wasn’t just her matching black hair that made me think she was mine. There was a connection I had with her. I felt it, I was sure of it.

  “I’m serious Hawk. I’m sorry, but she isn’t yours.”

  “Okay, then tell me who the guy was.”

  “I don’t remember his name,” she said slightly hesitantly.

  It was the chink in her armor I was looking for. It was easy to see she was making it all up. Julie was not the type of girl to have a one night stand, especially with a guy she didn’t know even his name.

  I got down on my knees in front of her. I hesitated for a few seconds before taking her hands. It felt so good to touch her again. It was like electricity waking me up anew.

  “I know you are lying,” I said softly. “She is mine. I know it.”

  Though it looked that Julie had too soften at our touching, her honey eyes narrowed on me now.

  “Even if she was yours, not that I am saying she is, what does that matter? You have no right to come here out of nowhere and ask me that.”

  “Jules, if I had known…” I started.

  “You would have what?” Julie stood up and put some space between us. “Turn around and come home?”

  I took a deep breath and sat in her spot on the bed.

  “Honestly, no. I wouldn’t have been able to.”

  “You know I had to find out from Mrs. Jennings that you left. You never even told me that you were interested in the military. Then I go and find out you joined the SEALs? You threw us away like what we had was nothing. I don’t owe you anything.”

  I waited for her to get it all out of her system. I knew I deserved it too.

  “I didn’t tell you because I was too afraid I wouldn’t go if I did. You meant everything to me, Jules.”

  “So totally disappearing without a trace to go to fight in a war seems like a logical way to show how you feel.”

  “I needed to get out of here,” I said waving my arms around the room, but meaning the whole town. “I wanted to experience some life.”

  “Why couldn’t we experience it together? I would have gone with you,” she finally said more hurt than anything else now.

  “Where I went,” I said struggling to find the words. “I wouldn’t wish that on you.”

  I did my best to hid the demons I held inside me, but I could tell she still saw them.

  “Your dad would tell me stuff,” she said softly. “Just from time to time. He told me when you got in with the SEALs, when you to deployed to Syria, and that you got hurt," she finally ended softly.

  I did my best to push down the memories her words were brewing. It was the same memories that caused most of my nightmares.

  I shook my head as if that would force it back down. I got up and began pacing the room again. I didn’t like all the emotions this conversation brought back. I was acutely aware of the ringing in my ear and the sound of all the cars on the street below.

  “She is mine, isn’t she,” I finally said in a statement, not a question.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Julie said softly. “She is mine now. I knew the moment I found out that I would raise her on my own. Nothing that has happened today has changed th
at fact.”

  “What if I do want to change that?” I asked walking up to her.

  I couldn’t help but touch her. She was ambrosia for me. One small taste, and now all I wanted was more.

  “No,” Julie whispered tears in her eyes. “I won't let you just walk back in here like nothing has changed. There is too much at stake now. I won’t put her through that.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jules,” I said as I softly brushed a stray lock of auburn hair from her face.

  I could look on her face for a million years, and it wouldn’t be enough. I couldn’t help but let my eyes linger on her lips.

  “I can’t trust you anymore,” she said putting her hands on my chest and softly pushing me away.

  It had almost no effort to it, but I wouldn’t crowd her. It didn’t miss my notice, however, that her hands lingered just a little longer than necessary.

  “I won’t risk you hurting Emma,” she stated honestly crossing her arms again.

  “I’m not asking you to trust me, I know that is too much. But, now that I know I have a daughter, I feel responsible for her. I want to help.”

  “I don’t need your help,” Julie said jutting out her chin. “I’ve been on my own the last six years and have done just fine.”

  “I didn’t say you need my help. I know you can handle things on your own. That doesn’t mean you should.”

  “Hawk, I can't do this right now,” she said moving towards the door. “Em is going to wake up soon, and I need to start dinner. I think you should go.”

  I understood this was a lot for her. Hell, it was all a lot for me too. I didn’t want to push my luck and have her cut me off for good. I would have to work slow if I wanted to get Julie’s trust back.

  Maybe a part of me had hoped she would still be here waiting for me when I got back. Now that she was here, and with my daughter on top of that, it was my priority to get them both back in my life.

  I didn’t care if it was just so that I could have a relationship with Emma. I would find a way to make up for the damage I did over the last six years.

  I let her walk me back out to the main part of the apartment. I watched her check on Emma again. Now that I knew for sure she was my daughter; I was itching to check on her myself.