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All I Ever Need Is You

Page 21

by Andre, Bella


  It wasn’t Adam.

  Her heart fell so hard, so long, so painfully, that she had to put a hand on a metal rail to steady herself. Of course Adam wasn’t here in Seattle. He’d been planning to head up to the lake that weekend to build the gazebo.

  He hadn’t texted, hadn’t emailed, hadn’t called since Thursday night, and neither had she. It was going to take them a little while to reset their boundaries to just friends, she knew that. But even if she was never going to kiss him again or make love with him again, she missed him. Missed her friend, the best one she’d ever had. She missed his teasing, missed his laughter, missed being able to talk with him about anything at all.

  Kerry was nearly back at her office when she stopped and turned around. She hadn’t planned to head up to the lake to set up for Rafe and Brooke’s wedding until tomorrow morning. But she couldn’t stand it anymore.

  Even if it was too soon, even if she and Adam were both still too close to the end of one phase of their relationship, missing him was a deep ache that came from way down inside. And as far as she could tell, there was nothing that she could do here in Seattle to make the ache go away—not wine or food or TV or burying herself in work.

  Only Adam could make her happier.

  * * *

  Adam put the final touches on the lattice on the gazebo and stepped back to look it over. It was as perfect as anything he’d ever built. Rafe and Brooke had come out earlier before leaving for their overnight trip into Seattle and exclaimed over how great it was. The hug Brooke had given him had been big enough, and gone on for long enough, that he’d shot his brother a questioning look over her shoulder. But his brother had just shrugged, so Adam figured it was probably wedding nerves.

  Either that, or the two of them were worried about him big-time, given the way he’d brooded over the bonfire for the full five minutes he’d joined them last night.

  Hell, he thought as he stripped off his shirt and shoes so that he could toss himself off the end of the dock in his shorts, he was almost starting to worry about himself, too. All night, and every minute that had ticked by today, he’d had to practically nail his fingers to the gazebo to keep from getting in his car to go get Kerry.

  How was he going to make it until she showed up tomorrow? At this rate, one more day was going to kill him when each hour, each second, had never gone so slowly.

  Damn it, he was going to her. Now.

  Adam was halfway up the beach, planning to grab his car keys and drive into Seattle, when he heard a car pull up behind Rafe and Brooke’s house.

  And saw the most beautiful woman in the world step out of it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Kerry hadn’t been surprised to find Rafe and Brooke’s driveway empty when she’d pulled in behind their lake house. They’d told her they weren’t going to be back until late that night, but since everything was unlocked, she should let herself in and use anything she needed. They’d also told her that if she needed help with anything, Adam would be there working on the gazebo and staying next door at their parents’ lake house. Everyone else in the family would be arriving the following evening, while guests who weren’t related would come a day later for the actual wedding.

  Adam’s car was parked next door, and just seeing the vehicle that they’d once nearly made love in made her heart beat so hard that she could hardly breathe.

  If she could barely keep it together just looking at his car, how the heck was she going to deal with actually seeing him again? But she knew she had to figure out a way to do just that, and quickly, because she had an amazing wedding to put on.

  Friends, she reminded herself. She and Adam were just going to be friends now. Friends who might not actually have talked to one another for nearly a week, but still—she hoped and prayed—friends.

  The sun was setting as Kerry stepped out of her car. Since she would be staying at an inn a short distance away from Rafe and Brooke’s cottage, she left her things in the trunk. Taking a deep breath of the wonderfully clean lake air, she headed toward the beach where both the wedding and the reception would be set.

  The first thing she saw was the most incredible gazebo ever made, one so beautiful that her jaw actually dropped. Adam Sullivan wasn’t only a brilliant architect, he was also an artisan of the first order. She’d seen his plans, of course, but seeing the structure brought to life simply took her breath away.

  Her eyes grew wet as she thought about Rafe and Brooke standing in the center of the gazebo saying their vows to each other. Perfect. It was absolutely perfect, and her emotions tore more deeply into her.

  So deeply that when the sun momentarily shifted behind a cloud and she realized Adam was standing on the beach looking straight at her, she didn’t have even the barest chance of giving herself another of her many reminder lectures about why keeping the boundaries clean and clear between them was the smart thing to do.

  Kerry couldn’t think straight anymore. Couldn’t figure out how to do anything but want as she kicked off her heels and ran toward him.

  And, of course, his arms were open for her when she threw herself into them—just as open as they’d always been.

  “Adam.”

  She couldn’t press her lips against his soon enough. Couldn’t wrap herself around him nearly close enough. Again and again, she kissed him, and he kissed her back with just as much need. Just as much desperation.

  “Too long.” She kissed him again, running her hands over his bare back. “It’s been so long, too long. I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you, too.” His kisses were hard and deep, and still she wanted more. So much more. “Never again.”

  “Never,” she echoed.

  But then, instead of taking more, he drew back from her. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. That I wouldn’t let sex make us forget everything else. We need to talk, Kerry. Need to figure things out.”

  “We will. I promise we will.” And even though she knew he was right, she couldn’t keep her hands or her mouth off him. “Later. We’ll talk later. About everything.”

  He took her mouth again, rough and sweet and wonderful, before pulling back once more. “Promise me, Kerry. Promise me that you won’t run, won’t shut us down. Promise me you’ll talk to me. Really talk, even if it’s hard.”

  “I promise. Just please, please, make love to me. In the water, on the sand, in a bed. I don’t care where, just as long as I’m with you.”

  Thank God, her pleas and promise finally convinced him to give up the last vestiges of his control as he said, “Hold on to me.” He lifted her up so that she could wrap her arms and legs around him. “I need you everywhere, sweetheart. Every last one of those places. Tonight.”

  “Yes.” His kiss warmed her everywhere that the lake cooled her as he took them into the water. “Everywhere. Anywhere.”

  Adam was wearing only shorts, but her lightweight dress immediately stuck to her skin, becoming transparent as it soaked up the water. When she heard ripping as he tore the dress off her, no sound had ever been sweeter. He covered her breasts with his mouth, first one, then the other, making both of them moan from the shocking pleasure of being together again.

  Nothing else existed for them as they rediscovered each other with lips and hands, with gasps and sighs, with water sloshing between and all around them. Adam’s shorts were thrown on top of her clothes in a nearby rowboat, and with the water buoying her weight, it was so easy to cling to him and nearly take him inside the way they’d both wanted to so badly before. No protection, nothing between them at all.

  “There’s no one else for me, Kerry. I swear I’m clean and safe.”

  “I am, too,” she told him even though she knew he could already have guessed it, since she hadn’t been at all promiscuous before they’d met. “Take me like this. Just like this.”

  “Will you—”

  “No. I’m on the Pill.”

  The sun had nearly set all the way by then, but there was just enough light for he
r to see the ecstasy in his expression as he moved into her at the same moment that she brought her weight all the way down onto him.

  “You feel so good.” He kissed and licked and bit at her mouth, at her chin, at the curve of her shoulder as he pushed up into her. “So damned good.”

  But she couldn’t speak at all anymore, couldn’t do anything but try to take him even deeper, even closer, with the water cradling them and the sun setting behind them. He held her hips in his big hands, rocking her down over him again and again until her breath was coming out in panting sobs and the water was rippling in a perfect circle all around them.

  She felt utterly raw and exposed, but when he was loving her like this, it didn’t feel wrong to let her walls all fall away. Not when she knew he’d already dropped all of his.

  “I love you.”

  He’d said the words to her last week, but her heart had been locked up tight that night. Now, with the locks stripped away by longing, she finally heard him. Finally understood that he wasn’t just saying what he thought she wanted to hear.

  “I love you.”

  Every time he said it, the three little words went deeper into her, straight into the center of the heart she’d so carefully guarded her whole life.

  “I love you.”

  His mouth was barely a breath from hers, and where he would usually have been kissing her as she came apart in his arms, tonight he whispered the words over and over again—IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou—in a kiss made entirely of love.

  Kerry went tumbling into a release so powerful, so astonishingly wonderful, that she could have sworn fireworks were shooting out over the lake. But tonight, every beautiful explosion, every dazzling detonation was inside of her as Adam’s lips finally crashed into hers again, and he kissed her through his own release.

  The surface of the water around them calmed long before her own heart rate steadied. As she laid her head on his shoulder, the truth was that Kerry never wanted to let go. Never wanted to have to think past the beauty of their physical connection. Never wanted to have to dissect anything more than the fact that Adam made her feel safe and warm.

  And loved. So loved that she reeled from it. She couldn’t quite believe that anyone could feel so deeply for her, deeply enough that he would say the words to her again and again and again the way Adam had.

  He stroked her back. “I should take you inside and dry you off before you get cold.”

  “I’m not cold,” she protested, but she knew her body temperature would soon drop. It was just that as soon as they got out of the water and got dressed and weren’t making love anymore, she’d have to make good on her promise. Her promise not to run, but to talk. Really talk to him about the two of them.

  The moon illuminated his face as he put a hand on her cheek so that she would have to look him in the eye. “I know you promised to talk to me, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. Just getting to be close to you again is enough for me right now.”

  It was so tempting to take him up on his offer to push off their talk. But there was too much between them, too many things left unsaid, too many needs and desires pushing at their boundaries, for them to simply get dressed and get to work on the wedding.

  “No, we should talk now.”

  His eyebrows went up. “Right now? Because I’m not sure I can get enough synapses to fire when we’re like this.”

  It was so perfectly right, so wonderfully natural to be wrapped up in his arms, that it took her a few seconds to realize they were still totally connected in every way they could be under the water. Nervous laughter escaped her.

  “You’re right, we can get dressed first.”

  “God, I love to hear that sound. Your laughter.” He closed his eyes, as though the emotions he was feeling were too strong for him to deal with. “It’s one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.”

  Her entire chest warmed even as shivers started to take over the rest of her.

  “Come on, beautiful, let’s get you into a warm shower.”

  Kerry had never been an exhibitionist, had never thought she’d do anything as crazy as having sex in a lake, but as he handed her his T-shirt from the dock to put on and she walked out of the water nearly naked and holding Adam’s hand, she felt strangely calm about the incredible breach in the propriety she’d been raised with.

  And, of course, when they finally made it to the shower, there wasn’t any chance at all that they wouldn’t come together again. Just as fast as they had in the lake, just as desperately, with her back against the tiled wall and his hands tangled in her hair while he kissed her the entire time that he loved her back over the edge of exquisite pleasure.

  He didn’t say I love you this time, but she heard it in every stroke of his body into hers, in the pounding beat of his heart against hers, in the dance of his tongue over hers.

  She hadn’t slept well for the past week, and as soon as he draped a big plush towel around her body and began to gently dry her skin, her eyelids started to droop.

  “You’re exhausted.”

  “No,” she protested. “I’m okay. We can still—”

  “Talk after you rest.”

  He lifted her into his arms before she could make any more protests and brought her into a rumpled bed that smelled wonderfully like him. She should have told him she was staying at the inn and that she needed to take her nap there. Instead, she said, “You never make your bed, do you?”

  “Never could figure out why I should bother when I’m just going to get back into it again.”

  “Because,” she said before yawning big and long, “it looks prettier when it’s made.”

  Her entire body felt lax and loose again after making love with Adam twice in a row. But it was more than just sex that had her finally feeling like she could relax.

  It was knowing that he’d still be there when she woke up.

  “If you ask me,” he said as he looked down at her, “the bed has never looked prettier than it does right now.”

  She was so very tired, but the desire in his words had her blood heating again. “You promised to make love to me in all three places I listed. You’ve given me two, if we switch the shower for the sand.” She reached for him. “Now I want the bed.”

  And, of course, he gave her everything she wanted.

  Just the way he always had before.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Kerry was surprised to find sunlight streaming over her when she woke the next morning. Woke in a strange bed, no less. One that she didn’t recognize. Not until it all came rushing back to her as she came fully awake.

  Adam.

  Feeling like the sun had finally come out again when she’d seen him after too many days apart. Running into his arms. Making love with him in the lake. And then the shower. And then again in this bed.

  She wanted to stay wrapped up in the sheets, under the beautiful quilted comforter, and just let herself stay steeped in his scent and her memories of how good it had been to be back in his arms. But she was here to put on a wedding, so when she saw by the small clock on the bedside table that it was already ten in the morning, she jumped out of bed.

  She hadn’t been sleeping well all week without him and knew she must have crashed after that last time he’d made love to her, slow and sweet. That third time, he hadn’t been in a rush, had seemed determined to give her more pleasure than she’d ever guessed was possible for any one person to feel. Again and again, he’d taken her to the edge, then over, until she’d lost track of where one orgasm ended and the next began. And then, when he’d finally taken her...

  She lost her breath all over again just remembering how it had felt as though Adam was giving her everything, his heart and soul, in those beautiful moments. But even as more pleasure took her over, even that pleasure took a backseat to the emotion pumping from him to her.

  So much emotion that she could still hardly believe it. Could all of that really be for her? And if it really was, could it possibly la
st?

  Looking around the small sun-filled bedroom, she saw her bag standing against the door and realized Adam must have brought it in from her car. How long had he been up? And where had he slept last night?

  Knowing she couldn’t risk running into any of the other Sullivans looking like she’d just fallen out of bed, she went into the connected bathroom and took a quick shower. After putting on her clothes and making sure her makeup hid the remaining vestiges of her sleepless week without Adam, she went out in search of him. On her way down the hall, she saw that the sheets in the guest bedroom were rumpled and his clothes from yesterday were on top of it.

  God, she was so confused. More confused and conflicted by what she wanted, and what she thought she shouldn’t want, than she’d ever been in her entire life.

  Turning the corner into the kitchen, she saw Adam standing by the corner windows. He was looking out at the lake, but she couldn’t stop looking at him.

  There was a smile on his lips when he turned around and said good morning, but she could see all the questions in his eyes, and knew that he was waiting for her to make her decision—to be with him for real this time. Or not.

  “You should have woken me up,” she said, her words seeming far too loud, too hard, for this beautiful morning on the lake. But she was nervous. And Adam Sullivan had always thrown her off her game. “We never talked last night, and I promised you that we would.”

  “You needed the sleep.” He put his coffee cup down and began to move across the room to her, making her heart pound even faster than it already was. “You didn’t even wake up when I made myself go and sleep in the other bedroom.”

  “You didn’t have to go.”

  “I didn’t want to. Leaving you in the bed alone was the last thing I wanted to do, but since we hadn’t talked yet—”

 

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