by Ambria Davis
SKY
I know Dontie was mad at me, and I was truly sorry about pissing him off, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. I know he was probably wishing that he didn’t have to go to meet my parents in a few hours. To be honest, I was wishing that I could cancel everything my damn self. My period had just come down, which means that I wasn’t pregnant yet again, and I was pissed, mad, confused, and hurt—all at the same time. Only the Lord knows how bad I really wanted to have Dontie’s child, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon. I don’t know if something is wrong with me and that I couldn’t have children, but I was going to find out, and soon.
Randell’s ass has been calling and texting me since I woke up this morning like he didn’t remember what I told his ass last night. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. I have to figure something out.
We’d just gotten back from the mall, and the man didn’t even have the decency to come in the house. I mean, damn! He could’ve come in and made sure that there was no one inside or anything. How you just drop your wife off at home and not make sure that everything was okay? I knew he was mad and shit, but he was straight bugging, and that’s what I don’t have time for. I already had a lot going on right at this minute. I didn’t need to worry about my husband too, but he would always make shit complicated.
After making sure that the front door was locked behind me, I grabbed the bags off of the floor and made my way upstairs to the bedroom. I needed to make sure that we had everything together for tonight. Once I made it to the bedroom, I placed the bags on the bed, next to the clothes that Dontie and I had put out for tonight, and went straight to the bathroom to run me some bathwater. I would take a shower, but I wasn’t trying to get my hair wet. I’d already spent half the morning doing it. I wasn’t trying to do it over again.
Going over to the tub, I made sure that the water was warm before I plugged up the drain and began to get undressed. Once I had stripped out of everything, I went into the room to grab my phone. After getting that, I went back into the bathroom and got in the tub.
“Aww,” I said as I lowered myself down into the water. That water was feeling too good to my body, and I wasn’t fully in there yet. When I was all the way into the water, I lay my head back and closed my eyes. My body really needed this right now. All I was missing was a massage and a nice glass of wine. Lord, I wish I could just stay in here all night and never get out, I thought to myself.
My moment of peace was short-lived by the ringing of my phone. I really wished that I had turned that damn thing off, because it was always going off when I didn’t need it to, like right now. I was trying to be in peace, and this bitch wants to ring. I moved to get it, which made me splash water everywhere. “Shit,” I said, getting mad at whoever it was calling me before I knew who it was. By the time I did make it to the phone, there was enough water on the floor to fill a baby’s pool.
“Shit, hello,” I said, answering the phone with an attitude.
“Hey, baby girl, it’s Daddy,” I heard my father say from the other end of the phone.
“Oh, hey, Daddy, what’s going on?” I asked, quickly changing my tone.
“I was just calling to see if you was ready for tonight?” he asked.
“Umm . . . Yes, I’m all ready,” I replied. “Will the whole family be there?”
“Every last one of them that’s alive and able to,” he said with a light chuckle. “That reminds me, your sister is going to be there also.”
“You said what now?” I asked, trying to be sure that I heard him right.
“I said that your sister is going to be there,” he said, repeating himself.
“Umm . . . okay,” I said, stunned; then I thought back to yesterday when I possibly might have seen her at the hotel. “When did she get in?”
“She came down two days ago.”
“Oh, okay,” I said; then everything got quiet.
“That’s all you have to say?” he asked.
“I mean, what else do you want me to say, Daddy?” I asked him. I hope he wasn’t expecting me to be all happy and jolly for nothing. Brinay wasn’t nobody to me.
“You haven’t seen your sister in years, and you acting as if you don’t care one way or the other,” he said.
That’s because I don’t, I thought, rolling my eyes in my head.
“Dang, Daddy, what do you want from me? Like you said, I haven’t seen the girl in years, so it ain’t like we have some type of sisterly bond or whatever,” I said blowing out air in frustration.
“That’s the point. I expect you to be happy to see your sister. I mean, the way she left and the relationship you all had wasn’t perfect, but she’s still your sister, Sky.” I know he was serious, because he only called me Sky when he was mad or was about to get mad. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two. You act as if you all were two different people from two different families and not blood.”
“That’s because we aren’t, and I don’t give two shits about her ass,” I said, not realizing that I had said it loud enough for him to hear me.
“What did you just say?” he asked. I know that he heard what I said. He just wanted to see if I was going to say it again.
“Oh, nothing. Daddy, I have to go. Keyon’s calling me on the other line. I’ll see you when I get there,” I said, abruptly hanging up the phone, not giving him time to answer.
“Lord, help me,” I said, placing the phone back where it was. I spoke on the phone with Keyon for a little while before I hung up. I was no longer in the mood to sit there and soak, so I grabbed my favorite Caress body wash and washcloth and began to wash myself. I did this a few more times before I turned the shower on and rinsed off, making sure that I got every bit of soap that was on me and didn’t get my hair wet. When I was done, I turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and got out.
Grabbing my phone, I headed into the bedroom. Seeing that Dontie still hadn’t made it home yet and it was almost five in the evening, I went downstairs to make sure that the door was locked. Once I’d done that, I headed back upstairs, placed my phone on silent, and put it on the charger. I hung up the clothes for this evening; then I removed the towel from around my body and climbed in bed. I didn’t have much time left, but I needed a quick power nap before I went to deal with all of this. I just hoped that tonight wouldn’t be as exciting as the day was.
DONTIE
When I left the house, I didn’t have but two things on my mind. One was to smoke a nice fat blunt, and the other was to find out where Brinay was staying at so that I can talk to and see her without all of these emotions in the air. I called her phone a couple of times, but she didn’t answer. I needed to see her, because I felt as if I was going to lose my mind any minute now, and she was the only one, besides my mom, who’d be able to calm me down. I even went as far as to check all of the local hotels, but I kept coming up empty-handed. When I couldn’t get in touch with her, I decided to go with my first option. Knowing that I needed someone to talk to, someone who understands me, I phoned Chance.
“What’s up, man?” he asked, answering the phone.
“Ain’t shit, man. Where you at?” I asked him.
“Shit, I just came from the mall. What’s up with ya?”
“Man meet me at my apartment in Miami Beach. I need to smoke me a much-needed blunt to get my mind right,” I said to him.
“Yo, man, who giving you problems?” he said, ready for whatever.
“Ain’t shit like that, man. I just got woman problems, and I need to vent before I go crazy on somebody’s ass,” I said, sighing.
“Let me find out you over there stressin’ over pussy, nigga,” he said, laughing.
“Ain’t never that, man. You already know how I do it,” I replied, trying to take back what I just had said.
“Uh-huh, I hear ya,” he responded. “Let me go and drop my shit off at the telly, and I’ll meet you.”
“Nah, man, you can just bring all of that shit and get dressed ov
er here,” I told him.
“All right, man, I’ll meet you in a minute, then.”
“All right, nigga,” I said, hanging up the phone. Before I headed in the direction of my apartment, I tried calling Brinay’s phone again. Just like before, it rang a few times before going to voice mail. “Fuck,” I said, throwing the phone on the passenger seat. “The minute I see her ass, I’ma check her ass for playing with me and not answering that damn phone,” I spat. “I’m tired of these bitches playing with me. I’m about to change a few things, starting with her ass.”
I’m going to show their ass about playing games with me, I thought as I headed to my apartment. “They’re going to start treating me like the man that I am, or I’m going to hook my foot up their asses and not think twice about it. Either way, they are going to fall in line and get it right.”
* * *
It took me all of twenty minutes to make it to my apartment, and by then, I was getting a little sleepy. When I pulled up, I thought I saw someone in my parking space, but I was just tripping. I parked my car, got my weed and cigar from out of the glove compartment, and headed inside.
When I walked in the lobby, I was greeted by the doorman. He’d been babysitting my apartment when I wasn’t there, and in exchange, I always give him a hefty tip.
“Good evening, Mr. Edmon,” he said.
“Evening Mr. Jeffery, how’s everything going with ya?” I asked him.
“Everything is fine, sir. And yourself?”
“Same shit, different day,” I responded.
“Okay, then, have a good night, sir.”
“You too,” I said, handing him two crisp one hundred-dollar bills. “My cousin Chance will be here any minute. Can you tell him that I’m already here?”
“No problem. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Be easy,” I said, making my way to the elevator. Once inside, I pressed the button to take me to the second floor.
Getting off the elevator, I made my way toward my apartment down the hall. Pulling my keys out of my pocket, I unlocked the door and headed inside. Once inside, I clicked on the light and inspected everything. Even though I paid Mr. Jeffery to watch my shit, I didn’t trust nobody. Once I was sure that everything was all right and where it should be, I headed to the kitchen to grab me a quick beer.
“Damn, I ain’t been in this bitch in so long that I forgot to go grocery shopping,” I said once I opened the refrigerator door and realized that it was damn near empty. There was nothing in there but a couple of bottles of water, butter, cheese, milk, an onion, and some bell peppers. Since I was thirsty, I grabbed a bottle of water and closed the door. Walking toward the den area, I grabbed a seat at the table and prepared to roll a few blunts. Since I was damn near a pro, it didn’t take long at all for me to roll up. When I was finished, I opened the water and took swag, temporarily quenching my thirst. Seeing as Chance hadn’t made it there yet, I decided to take a shower. That’d be one less thing I’d have to do when I get home later. Since I had a three-bedroom, two-bath apartment, I’d opted to take a shower in the bedroom.
Once I was inside of the bedroom, I stripped out of my clothes and tossed them in the hamper. I turned on the shower before going back into the bedroom to grab a pair of boxers and a wife beater; then I placed my phone on the charger that was plugged in the wall next to the bed and headed back to the bathroom. I was just in time, because the bathroom was beginning to get full of steam. I placed my things on the sink, then got in.
No lie, that water felt so good that, for a moment, I wished that I had taken a bath instead of a shower. Knowing that I didn’t have no time to play around, I grabbed my Dove body wash and my bath sponge and began to wash away the dirt of the day, wishing that I could erase the memories and start the whole day over. Just then, an image of Brinay today popped in my head, causing me to smile. I can’t lie. I was madly in love with that woman, and just the mere thought of me losing her was too much for me to bear.
Yeah, I know that I had a woman, hell, a wife, for that matter, but I couldn’t get Brinay out of my head and my heart. She was too good of a woman, and I don’t know what I was thinking for doing the things that I was doing to her. I can’t lie. If I’d met Brinay before I met Sky, there wasn’t no question in this world that she was going to be my wife, and I wouldn’t have no problem with leaving Sky. Unfortunately, I didn’t, and now things are way different and difficult, and I don’t know what to do about them.
I’d been daydreaming about what life could be like when I heard a knock on the door.
“Yo, Dontie, nigga, you in there?” Chance’s voice came booming through the door.
“Yeah, man, I’m about to get out,” I yelled back at him.
“All right. I’m going to go put my things in the room down the hall,” he responded.
“A’ight, cool,” I replied. Jumping out of my mind, I lathered the bath sponge again with body wash and began to wash my body before I let the water rinse the suds off and got out. Taking my boxers, I put them on, followed by my wife beater. I then went to my dresser, where I kept my Degree deodorant, and rubbed some on my armpits. Opening the drawer, I found a pair of socks and black and gray basketball shorts before I went into the living room in search of Chance.
It didn’t take me long to find him, because the smell of weed led me to where he was sitting in the living room, smoking on one of the blunts that I had rolled earlier.
“Damn, nigga, it’s about time,” he said, taking a tote of the blunt he had between his two fingers. “I thought you was going to be in that shower forever, man.”
“Hell, you took so damn long to get here that I decided to take a shower,” I told him.
“Yeah, man, I had to swing by the hotel to get the rest of my things for the night. That’s why I was a li’l late,” he said, handing me the blunt.
“Nigga, you always forgetting something,” I said, taking one long pull from it. I let the smoke fill my lungs before I repeated the motion, taking an extralong pull the second time.
“Damn, nigga, your mind must really be gone the way you pulling on that blunt like that,” he said, laughing.
“Shit, it’s not all the way gone. I just been going through it lately,” I said, taking another pull before I handed the blunt back to him.
“Looks like it,” he said, knocking the ashes in the ashtray on the table. “Let’s run it.”
“A’ight man,” I said, sitting back on the couch. I then placed my legs on the coffee table as I began to tell him everything that’s been going on. I told him about the trip to Jamaica, how I bought a ring for Brinay and ended up marrying Sky. By the expression on his face, I can tell he was taken aback by that part. I proceeded to tell him about how I thought Sky was cheating on me, how I know something is up with Brinay, but she ain’t telling me, and how everything happened today at the mall. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there listening to me put everything on the table, including my daily growing feelings for Brinay. I know that it was a lot for him to hear, because it was a lot for me to say. When I was finished, we had done smoked the second blunt and was about to light up the third one.
For a minute, we just sat there in silence, as the thoughts of what I just said played over in our minds. I sat there with my head against the sofa as I waited for him to tell me what he thought. When a minute too long passed, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Man man man,” he repeated, “You done got yourself into some shit here, fam,” he said, lighting the blunt. It was now his turn to take a drastic pull from it.
“Tell me about it, man,” I said, shaking my head. I knew I had gotten myself into some shit. The problem is that I didn’t know how to get myself out of it now.
“You want to know what I think, fam?” he asked, handing me the blunt. I looked back at him and nodded my head, then took a pull from it.
“Yeah, man, go ahead and tell me what ya think about all of this shit here,”
I replied.
“Man, to be honest with you, you need to cut one of them loose, and since you done went ahead and married ole girl, that someone has got to be Brinay, fam.” He said just what I thought he was going to say.
“I can’t do that, man. I can’t let go of Brinay, Chance,” I said, shaking my head.
“Fam, you have to. No, scratch that—you need to let her go. You just said that you care about her, but you done up and married some other chick. Did you even stop to think about how she’s going to feel if she finds this out? You already said that she’s down here and you don’t know why. What if she has people out here, and they tell her? She’s going to be devastated, and she’s going to end up resenting you. If you love her like you say you do, then the best thing for you to do is let her go before things get even crazier than they are now,” he replied.
“Fam, I hear what you’re saying, and I know that it may be true, but I love the girl too much to just let her go, man. I can’t do that if I wanted to. My heart wouldn’t even allow me to,” I said, placing my head in my hand. I was even more fucked up now than I was earlier today. To even think that I had to let Brinay go is beyond me, and I knew that I couldn’t tell her the truth, because, like he said, she was going to be devastated if and when she did find out. I knew that telling her was out of the question, and I decided right then and there that I was going to ride this thing out as long as I could and deal with the consequences when that time came.
“All right, man. That’s on you, but I’m telling you now that you’re going to regret it. If not now, then later on in life,” he said, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to take a shower, my nigga.”
“All right, man,” I responded. Once he was gone, I grabbed the rest of the blunt and thought about all he was saying. One side of me wanted to tell Brinay and let the chips fall where they may, but I knew that if I told her, I was going to lose her forever, and I wasn’t ready for that, at least not yet, which is why I’m deciding not to tell her at all. Like I said, I was going to ride this roller coaster until it came to an end.
