Awakening

by JoAnn Durgin

  After a few minutes, she heard the door to the dorm creak open. Putting a finger in the book to keep her place, Lexa frowned and looked up to see which one of her roommates was coming back inside.

  “Hi.” Shoulders slumping, Sheila headed straight for her bed. Picking up her Bible, she bowed her head and started to read. Sensing Lexa’s stare, she looked up a moment later with a timid smile. It relaxed the drawn lines on her face. Beneath all the worry, Sheila was quite pretty, but it was difficult to judge her age.

  “You seem to really like reading your Bible.” Lexa turned on her side and propped herself on one elbow. She hoped she didn’t make it sound like a bad thing, but more as a simple observation of truth.

  Sheila nodded, her smile growing brighter. “Ye–ye–yes.” Unlike most of the other women, this roommate was a woman of few words. It might be a result of the stuttering, but Lexa suspected there was more to it. At least she didn’t look scared of her own shadow for the moment. Reading and studying her Bible seemed to give her a sense of calm and peace.

  “Well, I won’t keep you.”

  Sheila nodded and resumed her reading. A sting of shame nipped at her conscience, and Lexa moved one hand over her novel and nudged it beneath the pillow. The bare-chested cowboy on the front might be great-looking, but she didn’t want the other girls to see it. If they did, they might run straight to Sam and plan a TeamWork intervention. Even so, they’d be loving and gentle about it. The thought made her smile.

  Feeling somewhat claustrophobic, she decided to take a walk. A slight breeze wafted through the open window, beckoning her outdoors. It had cooled things down enough to make the act of breathing easier. Shoving her feet into tennis shoes, Lexa left the dorm and strolled across the work camp, following the sounds of laughter coming from the bonfire a short distance away. The logs on the fire snapped and a man started to sing, his voice rich and strong.

  Lexa headed closer, straining to hear the lyrics of the song. It was about belonging to the Lord as one of His children. She listened, entranced by the clarity and conviction of the man’s voice. It sounded familiar. Standing a few yards away, behind the circle of volunteers sitting on benches in a semi-circle, she paused.

  She should have known. Sam. It wasn’t so much the quality of his voice that drew her closer, although he carried the tune well. It was more the pure emotion he poured into the song. He meant every word he was singing, in his heart, his very soul. His eyes reflected the brightness of the moonlight and the leaping, orange-red flames.

  Lexa clasped her arms tightly about her, transfixed, shivering even though she stood closer to the fire than before. It must be incredible to feel something with such a depth of emotion. Turning away as his song ended, she thought about sitting on the ground behind the circle or retreating, hoping no one would see her.

  Sneaking away on tiptoe in the stillness of the night, she heard Sam begin another song. The others joined in. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see . . . The lyrics of the old, familiar hymn flooded her mind, and Lexa sang them quietly under her breath. Some things you don’t forget, after all. She hadn’t sung those words in years, and yet they came back to her easily.

  With one last glance over her shoulder, she made her way back toward the dorm. Her steps slowed and she listened as she walked, still humming under her breath when she no longer remembered the words. She felt comforted and warm all over. She couldn’t explain it, but she did.

  ~~**~~

  “Lexa! Time to get up, sweetie.” Someone gave her arm a gentle shake.

  “Huh?” Lexa opened her eyes, dazed with sleep. “Where am I? What time is it?” She clamped a hand over her mouth as she yawned.

  Amy laughed. “It’s almost five-thirty. Looks like we’ve got ourselves a hard sleeper, girls.” Holding out one hand, she helped pull her to a sitting position.

  Lexa rubbed her eyes and ran a hand through her tousled hair. She wasn’t exactly a morning person. Under these conditions, it might be a difficult eight weeks.

  “I guess I did sleep pretty hard.” She darted a groggy glance around the room, seeing the other girls busy with their morning preparations. Most of them were dressed and appeared ready for the day’s events. How did they manage to be so alert at this unearthly hour of the morning?

  “You didn’t get a chance to meet the rest of your roommates yesterday,” Rebekah began before Lexa interrupted.

  “Why don’t we wait until I’m a little more awake.” She yawned quite loudly.

  “Nonsense. This is Natalie Combs, Kim Lawless, Monica Porter and Winnie Doyle.” Still in a fog, Lexa nodded in the direction of the four girls, but knew she probably wouldn’t remember any of their names by the time she got into the shower.

  “Nice to meet you.” Lexa’s eyes opened wider. “What day is it?” Sitting up and stretching her arms wide, she kicked aside the lightweight sheet with one leg.

  The pretty blonde with a ponytail and big blue eyes laughed. Lexa thought it was Winnie. “It’s Sunday, and breakfast is served in thirty minutes. Time to rise and shine!” Perky Winnie definitely was the Mother Hen of the group. At the moment, it was equal parts comforting and irritating.

  Groaning, Lexa rolled out of the bed and planted two unsteady feet on the hard concrete. Even at this early hour of the morning, the floor was already warm from the rising temperatures.

  “Whew! Is it going to be a hundred degrees in the shade today?” Lexa fanned her face with one hand.

  “Only a hundred and five,” Amy joked, reaching out a hand to pull Lexa off the bed. “Come on, you can do it!” Amy pulled her to a standing position.

  “All right, I can do it.” Being part of this crew wasn’t such a bad thing.

  Rebekah caught Lexa’s eye and winked. “Sam leads a Sunday morning Bible study after breakfast, if you’d like to come.”

  “Thanks. I’ll think about it.” Was it Sunday school all the time at the TeamWork camp? Occupied with unzipping her suitcase, she avoided looking at Rebekah. She wasn’t up to answering any questions.

  Showering and dressing in record time, Lexa braided her damp hair with practiced movements. A quick glance in the mirror reflected a tinge of pink in her cheeks, a new sparkle in her eyes. Not pausing to think about why that was, Lexa headed off for the dining tent a step behind the others.

  Breakfast was another quick event with cereal and milk, and coffee and juice, before everyone dashed off to the meeting circle. It must be the popular spot to congregate for both the evening devotionals and the Sunday morning Bible study. “Come with us, Lexa.” Winnie pulled her along behind the group of volunteers headed toward the circle.

  Lexa pasted a smile on her face, masking her annoyance. “Don’t do me any favors,” she mumbled under her breath.

  “What?” Winnie didn’t ease the hold on her arm, but she graced her with a sweet smile.

  “I said . . . it’s such a nice morning.” Lexa forced a brightness into her voice from somewhere deep inside. Nothing like being coerced into going to the Bible study against her will. Still, she felt no inclination to fight and could think of worse things than staring at a handsome man for however long the study lasted. Maybe she’d learn something.

  Rebekah hooked her arm through Lexa’s, keeping pace with them. “Enjoy today. Sunday is the one day where we can actually get a little rest in the afternoon if we want.”

  Opening a chorus book after everyone was settled around the circle, Sam retrieved a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and led a chorus of Praise the Name of Jesus. The voices of those sitting around Lexa rose in song, some strong, some soft. Glancing around the circle for Sheila, she spied her huddled on the outer edge. She didn’t know the words either.

  Moving across the circle, Lexa dropped down beside her. Sheila graced her with her usual shy smile. She wanted to befriend this quiet, withdrawn woman. Something about her reminded Lexa of herself, the introverted part that found it
difficult, if not impossible, to open up and let anyone else share her life.

  As Sam asked them to open to a verse of scripture, Lexa noticed most of the others carried Bibles. Strike two. She chided herself for not unearthing and bringing her old Bible to the TeamWork camp. Who goes to a Christian camp without a Bible? What an oversight. She wasn’t even sure where it was—maybe stuck at the top of a closet or in the bottom of a drawer. Or she might have donated it somewhere along the way to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

  Lexa doubted she could recall any of the verses of scripture she’d learned all those years ago, or recognize the hymns or songs. An overwhelming feeling of inadequacy pervaded her senses. Shaking her head, she hung her head and closed her eyes, torn between feelings of self-recrimination and doubt. What was she doing here? What had she gotten herself into? She hoped this group would give her more than three chances. She’d need them. At least they didn’t seem judgmental, even for someone as hopeless as her.

  “Jonah wondered what in the world he was doing there, in the belly of that huge fish,” Sam said at that exact same moment, echoing her own thoughts. Lexa’s head snapped up, and her eyes settled on the self-assured man standing in the center of the circle. “Here he was, sitting in the belly of a fish, pondering his options.”

  Clamping a hand over her mouth, Lexa nearly cried aloud. Just like me! Holding his open Bible, Sam talked about how that was the exact place where God wanted Jonah, to teach him and the other men onboard the ship a lesson about the power of the Almighty. She tuned out Sam’s voice for a long moment. Is that what you’re trying to teach me, God? How powerful you are?

  Focusing on Sam a few seconds later, Lexa found blue eyes on her. Maybe he just happened to look in her direction. Then again, it could be the reflection from his glasses. But, no. Lexa suspected Sam stared at her for a reason. Did he think she needed to hear this lesson? The very idea made her bristle. The audacity of the man! He didn’t know anything about her, so how dare he make assumptions? She shivered and crossed her arms over her chest in spite of the fact the temperature reached almost ninety degrees.

  CHAPTER 8

  When the time of prayer began, Sam sat down. His gaze traveled around the circle until it rested on Lexa. His words stirred something inside her. Angered her, judging by the fire sparking in those eyes when they looked up and met his. Beautiful eyes that held a sadness and masked a deep, inner pain to trigger her defensiveness. Sam shifted his position. Now he was an armchair psychologist.

  Lexa was a challenge. The other female volunteers in his camp were strong Christians since the womb. They knew the books of the Bible by heart—could practically recite scripture verses backwards and forwards—and stayed active in their home churches. Any of the TeamWork women around the circle might qualify as a wife and lifelong partner, but is that what he really wanted? He’d been seeking the perfect Christian woman for years. But he was honest enough to admit no such woman really existed except in his own mind. He thought he’d found her in Shelby, but she’d disappointed him greatly. And then she died.

  Lexa Clarke wasn’t strong in her faith. As far as having a strong commitment to the Lord—from what he could tell, she left something to be desired in that category. Not that it was a bad thing. But did she understand what she’d done so long ago when she asked Jesus into her heart? Did she want to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to have Christ as the Lord of her life? Desire to find the power and unbelievable freedom to be found in surrendering her will to the authority of the Almighty? That was often the hardest thing for people to do.

  He’d noticed Lexa standing on the perimeter of the bonfire circle the night before. The look on her face was intriguing. Almost wistful. He wondered what she thought as she listened to their singing. He wanted to call out to her, but he couldn’t very well do that without drawing undue attention to her.

  More than anything else, Sam prayed Lexa would start to feel comfortable and join them. At least she’d ventured out of the dorm and come outside, drawn to their bonfire circle. That was a good sign. Lowering his head to pray, Sam heard none of the other prayer requests, lost in his own.

  “Lexa! Wait up!” Sam called as the prayer time ended. He thrived on interaction with his volunteers, the challenge of following up with intensive study and research. Answering one of the newer volunteer’s questions, he kept one eye on Lexa as the group scattered.

  His conversation ended a couple of minutes later, Sam spied her in the same place, a few yards away. Her back was turned, and one foot dug in the dirt. She appeared vulnerable, prepared to bolt at the slightest provocation. He’d need to tread carefully. “Thanks for waiting.”

  “No problem.” With a shrug of those slender shoulders, Lexa slid her hands down into the pockets of her khaki shorts as they walked together.

  The top of her blonde head hit somewhere in the middle of his chest. She was tiny all over. Petite. That was the word for it. But even though she was diminutive in stature, she was well-proportioned with long legs and feminine curves in all the best places. She looked dainty, delicate— like she could barely lift a hammer—but he’d seen how strong she was at the worksite. Not to mention she could wield a flying tire iron with the best of them. In spite of her seeming fragility, Lexa possessed an underlying strength, emotional as well as physical.

  “I wanted to ask how things are going for you so far.” He tried to keep his tone casual. Glancing her way, he caught her looking at him. Stealing glances was becoming a habit with both of them. Sam’s normally slow, steady heartbeat betrayed him. “Are you finding everything you need?” That sounded pretty insipid, and he hoped she wouldn’t find him a complete imbecile.

  When Lexa smiled, it was encouragement enough to keep going. “Considering there’s not much to find, I’m managing fairly well, thank you.”

  “Please don’t tell me you find our little work camp boring, Lexa.” When he quirked an eyebrow, she laughed. It was such a great laugh, lilting and surprisingly deep. Pleased he’d made this interesting creature happy, Sam hated to think his next question might chase away that laughter, that entrancing smile.

  “It’s growing on me.”

  “I’m glad you came to the Bible study this morning. Did you enjoy it?”

  Lexa’s eyes narrowed and her smile faded somewhat, as he suspected it would. “Yes, I guess you could say that.”

  “I thought you might be able to identify with Jonah and his predicament.”

  Stopping in her tracks and turning to face him, Lexa’s eyes blazed. The wrath was coming. Although he’d risk her anger by bringing up the subject, he had to know. Had to know where this woman stood in her spiritual walk. No matter how hard he’d tried to get Lexa out of his mind since meeting her only the day before—the image of those eyes, that mouth—popped into his mind. Maybe he was wrong and physical looks meant more to him than he realized. Surely he wasn’t that vain.

  “Exactly what predicament are you referring to?” Lexa stared, wide-eyed, her pretty mouth an unyielding straight line.

  Sam covered with a lighthearted glance, attempting to keep the mood as light as possible. “All I mean is, this whole missions thing, is new to you, isn’t it?” That much was obvious. He was bungling this already.

  “Okay,” Lexa said. She crossed her arms and planted her feet apart in a stance of preparing to go into battle. “What exactly did the TeamWork interviewer tell you about me? Go ahead, I want to know.” When she caught Sam’s look of surprise, she blurted out, “It’s obvious she either told you something—or wrote something on my application—that’s given you cause for concern.”

  “I wouldn’t call it concern.” Sam guided her aside, away from the curious stares of the others.

  Shaking off his arm, Lexa glared at him, her cheeks flaming. “I told you yesterday when you picked me up from the bus station that I’m here to help. If that doesn’t fit the criteria for helping out with this mission, then I might as well go pack my bag now and head back to Ho
uston. Just because I don’t know every chorus or bring a Bible with me . . .” Her voice trailed.

  From her mortified expression, Sam could tell she’d just admitted something she didn’t want him to know. Her gaze dropped to the ground, and she released a shuddering sigh that ran all the way through him.

  Lexa turned her head, but not before he glimpsed her tears. “I don’t need your pity.” Her words were barely more than a whisper. “Just let me stay and help with the building project or whatever else it is you want me to do, but don’t pressure me into anything else, okay?”

  “Okay. Deal.” Feeling like an idiot, but not knowing how else to react, Sam thrust out his hand as if to seal the agreement. Accepting his hand with obvious reluctance, Lexa’s eyes moved back to his. Her frown conveyed her confusion.

  Her soft, warm hand fit perfectly. The sensation of her much smaller hand in his triggered instincts and affected him deeply, in places and ways he didn’t expect. Protective instincts, but it was much more than that. Holding on a few seconds longer than necessary, Sam’s heart raced. He slowly released her hand, overcome with the emotion of not wanting to let go. Ever.

  “I’m sorry, Lexa. And,” he added with a sidelong glance as they began walking again, “for the record, it’s not pity. It’s interest with a healthy dose of compassion and sensitivity thrown in, I like to believe.”

  “Is that right?” The irony in her tone only reinforced the ridiculousness of his words. She must think him a pompous windbag, overblown with his own ego.

  “Believe it or not, I admire you.”

  Lexa stopped, quiet for an extended moment. “How can you admire me when you don’t even know me?”

  “I know firsthand how hard it is to leave a job, your home and security for eight weeks. That takes a major commitment. Other than working with Habitat, I get the impression it’s the first time you’ve ever done something like this. Am I right?”