The front door closed and latched.
“You look beautiful,” Ben said, meaning it. Sierra was wearing a red skirt and jacket with fringes on the cuffs. With her dark brown hair and sparkling eyes she could outshine Miss Universe, as far as he was concerned.
Her cheeks flushed. “You look spiffy, too.”
Gina’s car backed out of the driveway.
He crooked a finger at Sierra. “Come here. You’re too far away.”
As she stood before him, she asked teasingly, “Too far away for what?”
His arms encircled her. “Do you have to ask?” He sealed his lips to hers as his hands laced through her hair.
The vehemence of the kiss startled him. Sure, he’d dreamed of her every night, relived their encounter in the tub, their couplings in his bed. But he hadn’t realized the extent of his need or the caliber of her response.
A date for dinner and an evening with friends had seemed to be the right thing to do. But now he understood the only alone time they’d have would be here and now, and Sierra’s intentions seemed to be the same as his as she separated the lapels of his suit jacket and tried to push it from his shoulders.
“I missed you,” she murmured when he broke the seal of their lips, so he could see the tiny buttons on her jacket that he was bent on unfastening.
There was a hint of shyness in her voice.
They were married. She shouldn’t feel shy. But that small bit of reserve in her escalated his desire for her. He’d show her how much he wanted her. He’d show her she could let her passion run free with him.
Unfastening buttons and buckles was accompanied by frustrated groans when leather defied their fevered impatience, when wood buttons stubbornly stuck. Finally she freed him of his jacket, shirt, tie, shoes and slacks. As he pulled off his socks, she loosened her arms from her sleeves and the jacket fell to the floor. Her skirt and slip were easily removed as he pushed them down her hips and she shimmied free.
Catching her to him, feeling steam practically fly off of them with their bodies pressed together, he asked, “Living-room floor, sofa or bedroom?”
“I don’t care,” she responded breathlessly.
When he studied her face, he could see she didn’t! He ground his hips against hers. “I don’t think we’ll make it to the bedroom.”
As she passed her hands down his arms and around to his butt, he knew they wouldn’t.
Sierra pulled down his briefs. He slid down her silky panties. He broke her landing as they collapsed to the carpet. But after their next kiss, he rolled her beneath him. He yearned to have as much of her soft skin touch his as was humanly possible. Levering himself back and forth over her, he created friction and increased their pleasure.
“You’re teasing me,” she breathed in short gasps.
“No, I’m getting you ready.” His throat was thick with need and he could hardly push out the words.
While she nipped his neck, she slipped one small hand between them and cupped him. He couldn’t even force out her name in protest. Instead, he gave in and pushed inside her.
Each time he took Sierra, he thought he’d be in control. He thought he’d know what would happen next. He thought he’d have a physical need fulfilled and he’d be satisfied once and for all.
About this, he was always wrong.
As he thrust into Sierra, she raised her knees so he could push deeper. Her satisfied sounds of pleasure goaded him on. He almost felt as if he were someone else—a caveman claiming his mate…a conqueror claiming his reward…a new man needing a woman as he never had before.
Needing Sierra.
Did she need him, too?
Or was she going along, playing along, trying as hard as she could to please him…for the sake of their baby?
When he opened his eyes, he saw hers were closed. Her hair was damp along her rosy cheeks. She’d caught her lower lip between her teeth. Suddenly he wanted to make her cry out with the greatest pleasure she’d ever known.
With a sheer act of will, he slowed his thrusts until he was staring down at her, motionless.
Opening her eyes, she asked, “Is something wrong?”
He wasn’t sure. He just knew something wasn’t entirely right.
One question blazed in his mind and shouted to make itself heard: Will you stay?
But he simply couldn’t ask it. Because even if Sierra’s answer was the one he wanted to hear, he knew at some point she could change her mind.
If she thought leaving was best for their child, he was sure she’d go.
In answer to her question, he replied, “I want this to be the best orgasm you’ve ever had.”
She smiled, clutched his shoulders tighter and suggested, “Then don’t stop.”
“This isn’t about racing to the finish.”
“What’s it about?” she asked softly with a glimmer of emotion in her eyes he couldn’t decipher.
“It’s about prolonging this alone time together and making the most of it.”
“Do you want to start all over?” she joked.
“No.” He dragged his fingers through her hair, brushing it back from her face. “I want to make it last.”
He began thrusting again, slower now. In her ear he murmured, “If we were in our bathtub I’d be kissing your nipples.”
He felt her tremble.
With his next prolonged entry he whispered, “All week I thought about taking your clothes off, slowly, kissing each patch of skin as I did.”
“Ben—”
“What?”
“You’re making me crazy.”
“Good. That’s just what I intended.”
This time when he joined his body to hers he slid his tongue across her lips. Between kisses he said hoarsely, “The next time we’re together, I’m going to lick whipped cream off a place I’ve never kissed before.”
He felt Sierra’s body begin to quiver. The ripple of pleasure spread over her and encompassed him. The reins he’d held on his control loosened as his body tensed as he pushed into her one last time. And then he was falling over the edge with her into the sublime, erotic earthquake he’d only ever known with her. With Sierra.
With his wife.
Sierra hated saying goodbye. Each goodbye with Ben filled her with fear. He was afraid for her, but she was afraid for him. Not only of the threat against him—but of him turning away…finding an excuse not to love her…an excuse to fight for his child, but not their marriage.
They stood inside the protective adobe wall at her aunt’s house, both reluctant to say good-night.
Prolonging the moment, Sierra said, “Camille bought Miguel monogrammed car mats for Christmas. What’s on your list?” She’d wanted to give Ben something really special, but she didn’t know what that might be.
“I don’t have a list. In the past, Sam, Nathan and I would find something Dad needed and, of course, presents for Kyle. But we stick to books or sports gear for one another. That might change now, though, with Sam and Nathan married. Maybe you can help with presents for Corrie and Sara—clothes or something women use.”
“Do you want to go Christmas shopping together?” Nothing would please her more—except maybe for living with Ben again.
“The first break I have, we’ll go. Maybe next weekend.”
The starry night and the winter cold surrounded them. Ben stepped closer. “I had a great time tonight.”
“Me, too.” She glanced at the curb where Dave’s SUV now sat. “Are you sure I can’t come home with you? Dave could still drive me back and forth.”
Ben’s arms encircled her. “I don’t want you to be alone. This is better for you, for my peace of mind, as well as my concentration. I’ll worry less this way.”
She understood needing peace of mind. She spotted the unmarked car with an officer who was keeping watch over him and was grateful for that.
Tipping Sierra’s chin up, Ben kissed her. His kiss was everything she’d always wanted a man’s kiss to be. There was no dou
bt he desired her, that he needed her to fill a basic male hunger. But would he ever really love her? Could he love her as she loved him? Completely, with heart, body and soul. Being apart only intensified her worries.
He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’ve got to go.”
“Your meeting,” she reminded herself, not attempting to convey anything with her tone of voice. She knew Ben handled a multitude of cases that constantly demanded his attention. When this trial was over, there would be another one, and another after that. There would always be long hours. She could accept his job and his position. What she couldn’t accept was not knowing where she stood.
That conversation was one they should have after she went home. After they were together…after they could spend day after day building a real life.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben’s Monday hadn’t gone as he’d planned. He’d just gotten home and hated calling Sierra this late. It was almost 11:00 p.m. When he thought about how they’d made love in her aunt’s living room last night, he knew he had to hear her voice no matter how late the hour.
“How did it go today?” Sierra asked.
He was on alert immediately. Something about her tone seemed…different. “Not as well as I would have liked. The defense attorney raked one of my witnesses over the coals. When I recalled him, I tried to mitigate the damage, but I don’t know if I succeeded.”
“You got tied up at work because of that?”
Had she been waiting for him to call because she had something important to talk to him about? “That, and other issues I had to take care of because of not being in the office all day. How about you? What time did you get home?”
She hesitated. “One of my clerks caught the flu bug that’s been going around so I stayed until closing.”
He didn’t like the idea of Sierra being on her feet all day at her shop. But before he could say anything about that, she revealed, “I got an e-mail from my parents today.”
Ben’s body tensed and he wasn’t even sure why. A premonition, maybe? That note in her voice that was different?
“They’re still coming before Christmas?”
“Oh, yes. They’re planning to stay with Aunt Gina until mid-January.” She went quiet.
“That’s why they e-mailed? To tell you that?” He paced his kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. He needed a long, hot shower and a good night’s sleep. But this conversation was too important to hurry.
“That and…they made an appointment with a Professor Oppenheimer at the University of New Mexico. He’s one of the main advocates for the school that’s going to be established near where they’re working.”
“They’re going to be involved in the school?” Ben asked.
“Possibly. But they really made the appointment so I could go with them to meet him.”
Ben stopped. “You told them there was no point to you meeting this guy, didn’t you?”
“I haven’t e-mailed them back yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because they went to all this trouble and I thought I might go along just as a courtesy to them.”
“As a courtesy? If you go along, they’ll think you’re interested.”
“Ben, my relationship with my parents is complicated. With all this distance between us, whenever we are together, I try to connect with them however I can.”
He reminded himself Sierra was only twenty-four. Her childhood had been anything but normal. She wanted the closeness with her mom and dad that all children craved. He knew on some level she also needed their approval. But was she also doing this for another reason?
Their marriage wasn’t a usual one, either. In fact, he wasn’t even sure what the basis of it was besides the baby and their attraction to each other. Especially since they’d hardly even been together since they were married. Was she considering keeping this appointment as a fallback position? Would her parents convince her that getting married had been a mistake? Was Sierra already regretting their marriage? Regretting the baby she carried? The change of course her life would take because of it?
Now the day’s fatigue really set in. “You have to do whatever you have to do, Sierra.”
“Ben—”
She wanted him to understand. While part of him did, the other part didn’t. “If you want to go to the appointment with them, go. But understand that what they think is best for you and what you think is best for you might be two different things. How much are you willing to give up to please them? How much are you willing to give up to stay connected to them?”
He heard Sierra’s sharp intake of breath and understood that she never realized she might have to make that decision. Again, the naiveté of twenty-four versus the cynicism of thirty-five hit him hard.
“You sound angry,” she said softly. “Why?”
Why, indeed? Because he was committed to the vows he’d made and she might not be? “I’m tired, Sierra, and I have to wonder why this is a decision that’s difficult for you to make.” He didn’t want to make accusations over the phone he might regret later. He didn’t want to get into an argument they couldn’t untangle without them being face-to-face.
“Just because I go to this appointment and find out what they’re going to be involved in doesn’t mean it will affect me…or us.”
“I don’t believe that.”
She was silent and he knew what she was thinking—he didn’t trust her. Maybe that was the bottom line…he didn’t.
Ben didn’t call Sierra on Tuesday night and she didn’t call him. On Wednesday he had a summation to prepare. On Thursday afternoon, when the trial had ended and the jury was deliberating, Ben returned to his office and checked his voice mail. There was a message from Camille. He dialed her number, though he wasn’t too concerned, because Dave would have notified him if anything had happened to Sierra.
“What’s up?” he asked after Camille answered.
After a moment’s hesitation, she plowed in. “Miguel says I should stay out of this, that it’s none of my business. But I think he’s wrong. Sierra’s my friend and I’m worried about her.”
“Why? Has something happened?”
“I stopped in at the shop this afternoon. She said she hasn’t talked to you for a couple of days.”
“We’ve both been busy,” he replied tersely, not wanting to feel guilty, but feeling it anyway.
“Do you know how busy?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Sierra usually has everything under control. But two of her clerks caught the flu. She’s been in her shop from eight in the morning until nine at night the past two days, with just a little help from someone she knows who cleans houses. She’s planning on doing it again today.”
A mixture of emotions battled for dominance. Mostly he was just angry at Sierra for not taking care of herself and the baby.
“She says she’s taking breaks,” Camille went on, “but she didn’t seem to be herself today.”
“In what way?”
“She looked really tired.”
Maybe Sierra hadn’t been sleeping any better than he had. “I’ll stop in tonight after work and see how she’s feeling.”
Camille let silence stretch between them for a couple of moments. “I know your trial is hard on you, but I think it’s been just as hard for Sierra. Keep that in mind, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
As Ben drove to Sierra’s shop that evening, he was relieved the trial was over and in the hands of the jury. He didn’t expect deliberation to take long, but he never really knew. There had been a couple of glitches and they might cost him. On the other hand, he’d presented the case to the best of his ability and he felt the facts were clear. The jury had to see that.
At Sierra’s shop fifteen minutes later, he saw she had one clerk working with her. She looked up when he came in, her gaze questioning. But he just waited…waited for the customers to pay for their purchases and leave.
Finally, Sierra was finished at the
register and no new customers had entered the shop. He went around the back of the counter, took her hand and tugged her into the workroom. She did look tired.
“What have you been doing to yourself this week?” he asked in a more curt tone than he should have. But he felt anger rising up that she wasn’t taking care of herself.
“What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m running my shop.”
“How long were you here yesterday?” he demanded.
She hesitated. “All day.”
“And all evening?”
“I have two clerks sick. I had to step in and call Penny to help out when she could.”
“What about the day before?”
“The same thing. Ben, what’s this inquisition about?”
“Do you want to lose the baby? Is that what you’re trying to do? If you didn’t have this child to worry about, you could sell your shop and go to Africa if you wanted.”
Her mouth rounded. Then she shut it and her cheeks took on more color. “I do not want to go to Africa. I do not want to lose this baby.”
The fact that she was actually saying that she didn’t want to leave cooled him down. But he was still worried about the long hours. “You could call a temp agency and get as much help as you need.”
He’d never seen Sierra lose her temper. But now her dark eyes flashed, she squared her shoulders and she took a step back from him. “Ben, believe it or not, I ran my life just fine before I met you. I’m not taking any chances with my pregnancy. I make sure I’m not on my feet all day. I take breaks at least once an hour and put my feet up, even though the doctor says I’m perfectly fine. I had my appointment yesterday—Penny covered for me. If you’d called last night, you’d have known that.”
“You could have called me,” he mumbled, feeling defensive.
“And interrupt the work that takes up all your focus for twenty hours a day? The work that’s putting your life and mine in danger? The work that’s depriving us from having a real marriage?”
The Daddy Verdict Page 16
