Falling for the Brooding Doc

by Annie Claydon

  ‘We can’t find any serious injury. But he needs to be checked out.’

  ‘Okay. We have a stretcher coming from the medical room.’

  Ross nodded. ‘And his parents?’

  ‘His mother’s here somewhere, we’re looking for her. Ah...here’s the stretcher.’ Jo seemed to have everything well under control.

  The young teacher who’d brought the stretcher hurried off to fetch Ross’s medical bag from his car. Josh was transferred to the stretcher, complaining loudly about his ankle, and carried into the school building. His mother arrived, looking anxious, and Laurie did her best to reassure her, encouraging her to comfort her son.

  Ross didn’t do anything by halves. His medical bag contained pretty much anything a doctor might need, and his examination was very thorough. Finally he was satisfied.

  ‘Josh seems fine, apart from his ankle, Mrs Spencer. He’ll need to get that X-rayed, though. He may have broken one of the small bones in his foot. I can give you a lift down to the paediatric accident and emergency department.’

  Ross was erring on the side of caution, and Laurie didn’t blame him. Josh’s listlessness earlier had worried them both, and no doubt Ross would be reporting on that and the circumstances of his accident to the doctor at the hospital.

  * * *

  ‘Everything okay?’ Josh had been seen almost immediately and Laurie had gone to wait in the car while Ross spoke to the A&E doctor. Jo had followed them down to the hospital so that she could take Josh and his mother home again afterwards.

  ‘Yes, the doctor’s pretty clued up. He’s going to run a few tests just to make sure, but he agrees with us. The only thing wrong with Josh seems to be his ankle.’ Ross leaned forward, his hand on the ignition key. ‘Home?’

  ‘I think we should. So far today, the only real casualty’s been an egg, and I’d like to keep it that way.’

  Ross nodded. ‘Me too. I won’t be sorry to get into some dry clothes as well.’ He indicated the damp patches on the legs of his jeans.

  They drove in silence back to the clinic. Ross was obviously tired, but when Laurie took off her seat belt and got out of the car he called her back.

  ‘Hey. Hope you didn’t have too horrible an afternoon.’

  ‘I got attacked by feathers, helped smash an egg and came last in a race. Then I helped save a child from a tree. What’s not to like?’ Most of all she’d loved being one half of the Ross and Laurie double act, which seemed to work equally well for the fun things as well as the deadly serious endeavours.

  ‘Joint last.’ He grinned at her. ‘But I imagine even that was a first for you?’

  ‘I think it must be. Consider yourself part of a new experience.’

  Laurie heard him chuckle as she walked away.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ROSS HAD TAKEN a long, hot bath, and then walked over to the clinic. He’d done his evening rounds of patients and staff, and no one seemed to need him for anything so he’d gone to his office.

  Laurie was perfect. Unstoppable. His own dreams had been put aside and had slept soundly for a long time now, and he’d been able to tell himself that his life here was all he wanted. But then Laurie’s sense of fun, her determination to face down every challenge, was enough to rouse anything from the deepest sleep. And now the dream was coiled around his heart again like a serpent, squeezing hard.

  It was crazy. He knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, but he was unable to set it aside. The idea that they could overcome every obstacle and get to know each other a little better. Take their time, and then learn to build a life. A family.

  A family was the one thing he couldn’t give her. And that would destroy any life they’d managed to build. No amount of thinking his way out of this situation would change hard facts, so there was no point in considering the matter any more. Ross opened the folder on his desk that contained the outstanding paperwork for the clinic. He was a little behind, and he could spend the evening catching up.

  * * *

  Four hours later, he was done for the evening. But it seemed that the evening wasn’t done with him. He paced his apartment restlessly, before resorting to the only place he knew that conferred a measure of calm. Pouring a splash of Scotch into a glass, he walked down the steps from his balcony and headed out across the grass to the lake.

  It seemed that he’d been sitting there a long time on the small dock, staring out into the distance, when he heard footsteps behind him. No need to turn, he knew who it was. And even now he wanted her company. Laurie sat down beside him, swinging her legs back and forth over the water.

  ‘Hey.’ He turned to see her face, shining in the moonlight. ‘You want some of this?’

  ‘What is it?’ She took the glass, sniffing at its contents, and then took a sip. ‘Mmm, that’s good. Double malt. Not really enough for two, though.’

  Ross shrugged. ‘A little of the best is enough.’

  ‘I guess so.’ She took another sip and handed the glass back to him. When he brought it to his lips, he thought he could taste hers, but perhaps that was just his imagination.

  They sat together quietly for a moment. It was nice. Companionable. Someone to share his thinking time with, if not his thoughts.

  ‘So... I’m curious. Do you know what’s going on with all the rope around that tree?’

  ‘Um... Jo mentioned it to me the other day. The area of woodland is part of the school grounds, it’s fenced off for safety reasons. Apparently there’s some social media thing going on and they’ve had teenagers breaking in.’

  ‘To wind rope around trees? I know that teenagers on social media have a mindset all of their own, but that sounds particularly odd.’

  Ross handed the glass back to Laurie. ‘It’s a bit like bungee jumping. Only without the elasticity.’

  ‘And they just hang there?’

  ‘In pairs.’ Ross was trying not to meet Laurie’s gaze.

  ‘What?’ Laurie thought for a moment and then started to laugh. ‘They hang from trees, making out together? Is that what you’re saying?’

  ‘Yes.’ He was glad she’d put it into words so that he didn’t have to. ‘Jo said she found a few used condoms at the side of the river the other day. She’s worried about it, of course. The school uses that land to teach the kids about wildlife and caring for woodlands, so they use it pretty regularly. I imagine they tried to cut the fence, where we found that hole, and discovered it was too tough so they got in another way. The hole wasn’t big enough for an adult to get through, but a child could manage it.’

  ‘Have you had anything like that on the clinic’s land?’

  ‘No, thank goodness. There’s always someone wandering around, day or night, so they’re a lot more likely to be seen. Or maybe we just don’t have the right kind of tree.’

  ‘Mmm. You’d need height and a really strong, unobstructed branch. Do you think the water’s one of the essential requirements?’

  ‘Don’t...’ Ross shook his head. ‘Don’t even try to work it out. You won’t be able to un-think it later.’

  ‘I half wish I could have done something a little crazy when I was a teenager.’ Ross shot Laurie a questioning look and she grinned. ‘Not that crazy. Just being allowed to have a boyfriend would have been nice.’

  ‘Too busy training?’

  She nodded. ‘Yeah. Everything was about the training. Or maybe everything was just about my father, and he was all about the training. What about you? You must have found a few things to get up to around here. All this countryside and the lakes.’

  Ross couldn’t think of anything. ‘Not really. A four-mile bike ride each way to the nearest town tends to put the lid on too much impromptu mischief-making. That’s one of the disadvantages of living in such a secluded place. Although my mother might say it was an advantage.’

  ‘So we were both lonely.’ She took a sip from t
he glass and gave it back to him.

  ‘I have the clinic. You have...’ Laurie had a future, and he could see her moving forward to grasp it with both hands.

  ‘A dodgy hip and a capacity for denial?’ She chuckled.

  ‘Your hip’s on the mend. You’re going to be back in a boat soon, and getting ready to win that gold medal.’ Ross didn’t want to think about all the other things that Laurie could do, because they wouldn’t be with him.

  ‘I have faith in you.’ She turned suddenly to face him, her skin pale in the darkness.

  Was that enough? He wanted it to be, but it wasn’t.

  ‘I have faith in you, too. I just don’t have much faith in the future any more.’

  Laurie’s hand moved to the side of his face, her fingers resting lightly on his cheek. ‘I wish you would, Ross. If you did, then maybe we—’

  He laid his finger across her lips. Ross didn’t want to hear about all the things that Laurie thought they could do together, because they were impossible.

  ‘That’s the difference between us, Laurie. You can change your future. I can’t change mine.’

  She flung her arms around his neck, as if she could somehow save him from something. Then suddenly she jumped away from him, her hand flying to her mouth.

  ‘That’s embarrassing, isn’t it? Hugging the boss in front of everyone.’

  ‘Look around. This happens to be the one place that isn’t visible from any of the clinic windows.’

  She looked, and then gave him a smile. ‘I’m so glad you knew that. It smacks of a little healthy misbehaviour. You’re beginning to seem quite human to me.’

  ‘Thanks!’ He feigned outrage. ‘I didn’t seem human before?’

  ‘You’re right a little too often for my liking.’

  ‘I can be wrong...’ He wanted so badly to be wrong. Wrong about everything, his sure knowledge that taking things further with Laurie would end in catastrophe.

  And then there were those eyes. Dark and knowing. The hand that caressed the side of his face sending shivers down his spine. Ross leaned forward, planting a kiss on her cheek.

  ‘What was it you said? A little of the best is enough?’ She murmured the words. So close now that they were almost touching, and he could feel her breath on his cheek.

  His fingertips grazed her arm. Her leg pressed against his. Each moment, each touch was precious and exquisite. And then one rush of emotion as he put his arms around her and kissed her. Her response matched his. Audacious and hungry, as if the past didn’t exist and the future hadn’t happened yet. Taking each moment, without fear or regret.

  ‘That was undoubtedly the best thing that didn’t happen to me today.’ He held her close, knowing he’d have to let her go soon.

  She reached up, running her thumb across his lips. ‘I suppose if it never happened, then we could do it again...’

  * * *

  Laurie had asked for the day off today. That wasn’t unexpected, she’d worked far more hours than she was being paid for over the last couple of weeks, and maybe she had other things to do. But Ross missed seeing her around the clinic.

  When he’d popped into Adam’s room, on his daily round of patients and staff, the boy had said that Laurie wouldn’t be coming to play computer games with him today, even though she’d amassed enough points to give her avatar a complete change of wardrobe. She wasn’t in the lounge, or walking by the side of the lake. And unless Ross was very much mistaken, she wouldn’t be out in a boat somewhere.

  Or would she? It had been almost three weeks since he’d seen her rowing past his window, and he knew that she missed it. Maybe that wayward spirit of hers had just had enough of the clinic’s calm, ordered existence and she’d decided she needed to get back into a boat. He’d made it clear that he was no longer responsible for her treatment, but the thought still bothered him.

  She hadn’t taken one of the clinic’s electric cars into town, and when Ross found an excuse to pop back to his flat for something, he noticed that the long curtains in the living room of the small apartment downstairs were drawn, even though it was nearly lunchtime. It was odd, because Laurie was such a creature of the light. She loved it and it loved her.

  He’d told her that he trusted her, and he’d made a promise. He should keep it. She just wanted a day to herself and he shouldn’t interrupt...

  * * *

  Ross arrived home late after an evening spent at the clinic, and opened the French doors that led out onto the balcony. As he stared out over the dark water of the lake, he saw a figure sitting on the bench at the water’s edge. Laurie.

  What was she doing down there? It was a warm evening, and the calm of the lake often drew him to that spot, but there was something about the way she was sitting, her shoulders hunched and her head bowed. Without even thinking about whether it was a good idea or not, he took the steps down from the balcony two at a time and walked down to the lake.

  She must have heard his footsteps on the uneven ground because she turned her head towards him. He could see her face now, pale and impassive in the twilight, and she was nursing something on her lap.

  ‘Hey...’ Some instinct stopped him from remarking on the warmth of the evening. This didn’t seem the right time for pleasantries.

  ‘Hi, Ross.’

  ‘May I join you?’

  She nodded, as if she didn’t much care either way, and Ross sat down on the bench. He could see now what she was holding—a small wooden model of a boat.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  Laurie puffed out a breath. ‘Nothing... Nothing. This seemed like a good idea but...’ She shrugged. ‘I’m not really feeling it.’

  She looked as if she wasn’t feeling anything, but Ross knew better. She’d learned to work through any pain by just pretending she didn’t feel anything, and the more impassive her face, the more she was struggling.

  ‘What’s this for?’ He reached out and brushed the model boat with his fingertips. As he did so, he saw that it was full of kindling, and that a box of matches lay on the bench beside her. Laurie was saying goodbye to something...someone.

  ‘He’s been gone a long time. Fifteen years ago today.’ She turned, looking at him solemnly. ‘I’ve spent almost as much time without him as I had with him.’

  ‘And you thought you might send the boat out onto the water? As a remembrance for someone you’ve lost?’

  ‘Yes, it’s a model I had at home and... I put it into my case when we went down to London. I don’t know whether it’s the right thing now.’

  ‘If you make it the right thing, then that’s what it is.’

  She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘It won’t make any difference.’

  ‘No, it won’t. Sometimes remembering someone and saying whatever you want to them makes a difference to you, though.’

  She nodded. Ross wondered whether Laurie was so used to concealing her feelings that she wouldn’t be able to break through her impassive mask now, but he knew one thing. She wanted to.

  ‘I’ll do you a deal. If you push your boat off from here it’ll just float back to the shore. I have a pair of waders and I can take it out far enough to catch the current. You can say what you want to say and maybe that’ll float away too.’

  She thought for a moment and then nodded. Ross got to his feet, hurrying back to his apartment before Laurie changed her mind.

  * * *

  Laurie had been sitting here for over an hour, waiting for a moment that never seemed to come, when she could get in touch with her feelings and make some sense of them. All she could feel right now, on the anniversary of the death of her older brother, was overwhelming pain and terrible guilt.

  Maybe she’d been waiting for Ross, to come out here and make sense of it all for her. That was rather too much to ask of anyone.

  He was back before she could make any sense of want
ing him here either, putting the waders onto the ground next to the bench and sitting down.

  ‘Who’s the boat for, Laurie?’

  Good. Questions that were easy to answer.

  ‘My older brother, Tom. He died when I was fifteen.’

  ‘He must have been young.’ Ross shook his head, understanding the terrible waste of a life that should have been just beginning.

  ‘He was twenty-one.’ Laurie puffed out a sigh and suddenly it became a little easier to talk. ‘My father pushed all of us to strive for sporting careers. Tom was going to be the tennis player, but my younger brother Ben was always more talented. My father pushed and pushed and...he pushed Tom too hard.’

  ‘What was he best at? The thing you’d most like to remember him for?’

  No one asked that. Tom had been caught in a cycle of the wrong expectations and failure, and that was what defined his death as well as his life.

  ‘He was kind, and very funny. He used to make me finger puppets when I was little and we’d make our own plays with them. Tom always came out with the best lines.’ All the warmth came flooding back at the memory. Along with pain. But it was better than the emptiness that she’d been sitting here with.

  ‘He sounds great.’

  ‘He was really creative and he used to tell the best stories. For my tenth birthday, he made me a book about a dragon who made everyone around him do as he said...we both knew that was really my father. One day he had so much steam coming out of his ears that he exploded. It was...’ Laurie choked suddenly, tears spilling down her face.

  ‘Breathe.’ Ross murmured the word, putting his arm lightly around her shoulders. ‘Breathing helps.’

  A great gasp of air did help. Somehow the tears were helping as well.

  ‘My father wouldn’t see that he wasn’t cut out for sport, it wasn’t what he wanted to do and he wasn’t that good at it either. He just pushed and pushed, telling Tom he was a failure and that our younger brother was better than he was. Tom got hold of steroids from somewhere, in an attempt to make himself acceptable in my father’s eyes, and...’