by Niles, Abby
He sent her an obligatory wave or smile here and there, but he was so lost in his good time that he didn’t even pick up on her increasingly bad mood. That said something, right? The fact that he could so totally ignore her said something. And she didn’t even want to think about what it meant.
“Hey, beautiful,” a masculine voice purred.
Rolling her eyes, she turned to tell the ass off, then gasped with happiness. “Brody!”
Without thought, she hugged him, just happy to have someone to talk to. He squeezed her back. While they hadn’t seen each other lately, they still talked on the phone from time to time and caught up. She missed hanging out with him.
“What are you doing off to the side by your lonesome?” he asked with a frown.
“My boyfriend doesn’t seem to remember he has a girlfriend. This is the”—she faked a thoughtful expression—“third time he’s done this in as many days.”
Brody scowled. “Are you serious?”
“He’s completely attentive at home, but we start getting into the MMA world and I’m put right back in friend territory.” Bitterness crept into her tone. “Do you know that none of the guys even know we’re dating?”
She’d learned that little factoid about thirty minutes ago when Tate had hit on her and mentioned he knew she was Tommy’s best friend and all, but he didn’t think he’d mind.
“Damn, Jules. I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. That’s how she felt right now. Defeated. Exhausted. Didn’t care.
No, that was a lie. She did care. A lot. She glanced back over at Tommy. He was talking to some guy about a mile a minute. He hadn’t even glanced over to check on her.
If he had, he would’ve seen her with Brody. Would’ve maybe at least come up to her then. She didn’t understand how hard it was for him to understand that she didn’t need much. She could be standing beside him right now and be happy as a lark. She’d tried that twice. Both times it was like he’d forgotten she was standing there and had just walked off. The embarrassment she’d felt had finally pushed her to stand against the wall.
The only thing he hadn’t done was encourage any of the women who came up to him. That should’ve felt like a bonus, but it didn’t. If he could remember he was in a relationship with her enough that he didn’t flirt with other women, how could he be so thoughtless to not introduce her, to let her stand here all alone? Would it always be like this?
When they were together, everything was hunky-dory, but the moment he put on his fighter’s cap, she became invisible again.
No. She couldn’t do this. Instinct had always told her that she and Tommy would never work. They were too different. And she was living that difference right now.
Why hadn’t she heeded her own warning? She’d be saving herself a ton of heartache now if she had.
“Brody, will you walk me to my car? I want to go home.”
He put his beer down on a table. “Sure, Jules. Come on.”
She started toward the door, waiting for Tommy to stop her. As she walked down the sidewalk to the parking deck, she expected to hear his voice at any moment. Getting into her car and driving away, she anticipated the phone would ring. And as she curled up with the dogs and wept on the couch, she expected the door to crash open.
But none of those things happened.
And her world fell apart.
…
“Julie!” Tommy yelled as soon as he tore into the house.
Warrior and Lucy greeted him with excited yaps, but he ignored them, his gaze sweeping the living room and kitchen. Where in the hell was she? One moment she’d been at the bar, the next he’d been asking people if they’d seen her. When she hadn’t answered her phone, he’d really started to freak out.
When he didn’t see her, he hurried toward the bedrooms. “Julie!”
He’d just entered the hallway when she stepped out of his room, carrying a duffel bag.
As she neared, she tossed it at him. “Get out.”
Blinking, he caught the bag. “What the fuck, Julie? I’ve been worried sick.”
He’d never seen her like this before. So calm, collected, like she’d just told him the weather was sunny instead of trying to kick him out of the house. Then he caught a glimpse of her face. Her swollen, puffy eyes. “Shit. You’ve been crying.”
“Of course I’ve been crying. I was dating a thoughtless asshole,” she said as she stormed across the living room.
Panic closed his throat. “Was? What the hell is happening here?” When she kept on her forward trek, he yelled, “Look at me!”
After she reached the front door, she finally did. “Two hours, Tommy.”
“W-What?”
“I have been home for two hours.” She then opened the front door. “Get. Out.”
His jaw hardened and he dropped the duffel bag on the floor. “Not a fucking chance of that happening.”
“You don’t get to tell me no. This is my house. Get the hell out of it.”
“You don’t get to dump me without telling me why,” he yelled.
“Oh, now we’re in a relationship? How convenient you suddenly remembered.”
He didn’t even know how to argue with her right now. She was making no sense. “Of course we are. What have we been doing the last month?”
“Hell if I know.” Her shrug even had a cold edge to it. “Fucking? That’s all you said you were capable of, and tonight you proved it in spades.”
Of all the men he’d ever taken a punch from, Julie’s words had the power of all them combined. Dazed, he stepped back. “What the hell did I do that has you so upset?”
“The fact that you can’t even see it is the issue, Tommy. How long did it take before you realized I was gone?”
“I tried calling—”
“Thirty minutes ago! I’d been home for an hour and a half. I left, and you didn’t even notice. Not that you noticed me before that, mind you.”
Had she really been gone that long?
“Did you know I talked to Brody?” she asked.
“What the fuck was he doing there?”
When her shoulders slumped and she closed her eyes, he realized that had been the wrong answer.
“Get out,” she whispered.
“Julie, just listen.”
Opening her eyes, she charged forward, her calm appearance shattering, and he finally saw just how angry she was. Her chest heaved and fury jerked her motions. “No! I’m no longer going to listen to you or my stupid heart. The one time I let it take control, the one thing I knew would happen, sure enough, it happened.” She pointed her finger at him. “I allowed you to hurt me, just as I always knew you would. I told myself not to trust you, but did I listen? Oh, hell, no.”
“What are you talking about?”
“For a fighter who makes his living anticipating his opponent’s next move, you’re pretty damn clueless, you know that?”
He flinched back. He didn’t know this Julie, who was so hurt she was going out of her way to hurt back.
She laughed, a short, hollow sound as she raked her hand through her hair and stared at the ceiling. “I am such a fool. I thought you’d changed. But no, you’re still the same old good-time Tommy. The man who gets so wrapped up in the lifestyle, he only thinks of himself.”
“I have changed.”
“No, you haven’t.” The words were said so calmly, with so much conviction behind them, he realized that whatever he’d done tonight had destroyed everything.
“You’re the same Tommy, and I’m the same idiot Julie. The little fool in love with a man who has always put the party before anything or anyone else. I’ve already gone down that road with you once. I refuse to do it again.”
He felt like he’d been slammed to the ground. Stunned. Unable to breathe. “Y-You love me?”
She sent him a disgusted look, but if the disgust was meant for him or herself, he couldn’t tell. “I’ve been in love with you since we were ten years old, Tommy Sparks. It’s only taken t
wenty-three years, but thank God I’m finally over you. Thank you for helping me move on.” She stepped back to the door and motioned with her hand. “Now get out before I call the cops.”
He took a step forward, swallowing hard. “Julie. I love you, too.”
“Yeah, well. You have a real funny way of showing it.” Dead eyes met his. “Did you even really want me there tonight, or did you feel obligated to ask me because you had secretly started calling me your girlfriend?”
“I wanted you there. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t. What’s this shit about secretly? You’re my girlfriend. Period.”
“Really? Is that why you hadn’t told Mike…or anyone else at the gym we were even dating? Is that why you spent the entire night totally ignoring me instead of being proud to have me by your side? Is that why it took you an hour and a half to realize I was even gone?”
Silence descended between them. Tommy struggled to find words. But it all came down to one thing: Julie was right. He’d been completely submerged in the moment. He’d been entirely content just knowing she was there, having no clue that, with his inattention, he was hurting her more and more with every passing second. And his utter failure rang clear. He’d made her feel totally unwanted—when nothing was further from the truth.
Julie jetted out a breath. “That’s what I thought.”
“No. You don’t understand.”
“I understand perfectly. I’m not telling you again. Get out. I don’t even want to see your face right now.” She stared straight ahead, her jaw taut, her arctic eyes unblinking.
Even though she stood only a few feet away, she had never been further from him. Nothing he could say right now would help. She was so fucking angry. Rightfully so. She needed time to calm down, so they could talk rationally. Then he’d get her to see what he now understood perfectly.
She was the love of his life. Not the partying, not the fans, not even fighting. She was.
He swallowed and bent to pick up his duffel bag, then snatched Warrior’s leash off the hook by the door. After he connected it to the dog’s collar, he stopped in front of her. She refused him eye contact, staring straight at his shoulder.
“This isn’t over, Julie.”
Her eyes snapped to his. “Yes, it is.”
He stepped out onto the porch, and she slammed the door behind him. The sound made him jerk and his grip on Warrior’s leash tightened.
She’d loved him.
Past tense.
Seemed unfair, since he’d just learned about it in the present.
But what he’d said was true. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
He made his way down the steps to the front yard, then froze as he looked around the quiet neighborhood.
Julie had kicked him out, and he had nowhere left to go.
Chapter 16
Julie looked through the peephole in her front door, saw Brody standing on the stoop, and breathed a sigh of relief. Over the last two days, Tommy had knocked on her door more times than she cared to count, sometimes yelling for her to answer the damn door. The neighbors were surely getting an eyeful, but she didn’t care. She never responded, and he didn’t dare use his key. Smart man.
She didn’t want to see him. Probably for the rest of her life.
When she opened the door, Brody stepped inside.
“Hey,” she said. “What are you doing here so early?”
He’d been lucky he’d caught her. She was just about to leave for work.
“Mac got in touch with me.”
She waved her hand and retreated to the living room. “I don’t want to talk about him, Brody.”
He grabbed her upper arm. “Jules, you need to listen.”
“Listen to what?” She yanked her arm out of his grasp. “How Tommy misses me? How he’s hurt and can’t understand why I won’t talk to him? How—”
“He’s canceling the fight, Jules.”
That slammed her mouth shut. The last bit of the anger she’d clung to since she’d watched Tommy completely exclude her evaporated as Brody’s words sunk in. “What? Why?”
“He’s got it in his head it’s the only way you’ll forgive him.”
She stepped back. “He can’t do that. He can’t put that on me.”
“Well, he is. This morning, unless you stop him.”
At a loss for words, she dropped her gaze to the floor. Tommy was willingly giving up his chance for redemption in the ring, for her? He’d worked so hard for this fight. Him giving up fighting had never been an option. Never even entered her mind.
Her gaze shot to Brody’s. “You can’t let him do that.”
“No, you can’t. So go stop him.”
With a curt nod, she grabbed her purse and was out the door within seconds. As she sped down the highway, she realized she wasn’t sure where to go. Should she go to Mac’s, where Tommy’d been staying? Or Mike’s, where he was training?
The gym would be the best bet. If he wasn’t there yet, she’d wait for him.
After she found a place to park, she ran down the sidewalk. She spotted Tommy with his head down, shoulders hunched, just as he was pulling the gym door open.
“Tommy!”
He froze, his head slowly turning in her direction. then he spun and started walking toward her. “What are you doing here?”
“You can’t do this.”
“Fucking Mac.” Tommy thrust a hand through his hair, his jaw clenching. “What’d he do? Wait until I was asleep and come to you?”
“He contacted Brody.”
“Brody?” A forced laugh came from Tommy’s mouth as he placed his hands on his hips and looked skyward. “Shouldn’t be surprised, should I? That asshole has stuck his nose in my business from day one.”
“You can’t cancel the fight.”
“You won’t talk to me. It was the only thing I could think of to get your attention enough to know I’m serious.”
“Fine. We can talk now,” she said, crossing her arms.
“Okay.” He reached for her hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to touch him, fearing if she did, she’d lose herself in him again. Right now, she had to stay focused on herself, on what was best for her…and that wasn’t Tommy.
When he realized she wasn’t going to take his hand, hurt shone in his eyes and he dropped it. “How”—he cleared his throat—“how about we find a place to sit?”
“Lead the way.” She followed him down the sidewalk, thankful he’d gone in the opposite direction of “their” bench. About half a block down, he finally found another bench under a tree, and sat.
Neither of them spoke, the silence between them tense, thick. Finally, Tommy whispered, “I’m sorry.”
The sincerity in his voice caused tears to sting the backs of her eyes. Julie dropped her head to hide them. “I know.”
“I did get caught up in the moment. I was Tommy ‘Lightning’ Sparks again. The superstar. It felt good.” He paused as he shifted on the bench.
She’d known this, but hearing him confirm it sent another shot of hurt winging through her. She’d been scared to death of this outcome, had tried to protect herself from it. But the man had made her believe. Believe in them…only to turn around and jump right back into the lifestyle the second he stepped foot in it again.
“But you were wrong about one thing,” he continued. “I did think of you…looked for you. All it took was for me to see you, and I was at ease. But when I couldn’t find you—” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Julie, I felt lost. I was filled with so much panic. Nothing means more to me than you. My life is with you.” He shifted again, taking her hands, squeezing. “Julie. I love you.”
It was the second time he’d said those words in a way she’d waited a lifetime to hear. And a flare of hope budded in her chest, but it quickly wilted as she remembered how happy he’d been. The grin on his face. The twinkle in his eye. And no matter how much he said he loved her, wanted to believe he’d never do it again, had looked for her, he had
forgotten her. He hadn’t noticed her absence for an hour and a half.
She tugged her hand from his.
“Julie—”
“Let me speak now.” A sad smile came to her lips. “You’ve been my best friend for so long. But you’ve also been so much more to me than that. The other night, I was immediately back in the past, watching from the sidelines, reliving all those years when you never noticed I’d left a party because you were too busy with the party…too busy with your women to realize that I was no longer there.”
“Oh, God, Julie,” he said, voice hoarse, his eyes stricken. “I swear, I didn’t know.”
She waved his words away. “No you didn’t, because I didn’t want you to. I never once thought we could ever work. Besides, all you’d ever seen me as was your best friend…until you didn’t.” She paused, the thickening in her throat making it difficult to speak. She swallowed. “We had a great time these last few weeks. It was more than I’d ever imagined it would be. But you forgot me, Tommy, when all I wanted was to be by your side. I wanted to be introduced as Tommy Sparks’s girlfriend. Not kissed on the cheek, then pushed aside…just like you did when you thought of me as your sister.”
“We were doing great until the Boot Scoot—”
She shook her head. “No, Tommy, we weren’t. It’s been building for a few weeks now. First at the aquarium, then the reporter, and now this.”
“I don’t have to go back. I can cancel the fight. Get a desk job. Prove to you that it’s you I want.”
“And then what? You’ll grow to resent me because you’re no longer doing what you love? I can’t risk that, either.”
He gazed at her, his eyes filled with apprehension. “What are you saying?”
She clasped his hand in hers and met his gaze, no longer caring if he saw her tears or how hard this was for her to say. Letting Tommy go was the hardest thing she’d ever done. “I want you to go into that cage on Saturday and kick Moon’s ass. I want you to get everything you’ve fought so hard for. But I can’t go down that road again, Tommy. I can’t go back.”
