by Niles, Abby
“So…this is it?” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, glancing away as he swallowed.
“Yeah, this is it.”
Before she broke down, she placed a light kiss on his cheek and walked away. Each step harder than the last, but this was the right thing to do.
He was free now. She was free.
So, why did she feel more bound to him than ever?
…
As Julie waited for the popcorn popping in the microwave, she puttered aimlessly around the kitchen, opening cabinets, straightening the silverware, restacking the bowls. Anything to keep her busy.
The house seemed too quiet. Empty.
It had been two days since she’d left Tommy sitting on that bench. Two days of trying to get through the day as if there weren’t a gaping hole in her life. Tommy had been such a constant for so long, it was like a piece of her was missing now.
After she’d kicked him out, and she’d had her anger to hang onto, it had been easy to ignore his absence. But now…now with all her feelings spilled to him and her anger gone, she was faced with how big a mark Tommy had left in every nook and cranny of her home.
The couch was the center point of so many memories, she was going to have to burn it.
Who was she kidding? She could burn down the entire house, and just seeing a couch would still trigger thoughts of their first real kiss, and of where he’d shown her how much he’d wanted her, and of him taking her for the first time bent over the arm of it, or of how he’d tug her down to lie beside him after a long day.
The most needed piece of furniture in a home—a constant reminder.
Even her dog, who also seemed to be grieving, reminded her of him.
Lucy moped around the house, sending Julie accusing looks, as if she’d been the one to send her best friend away.
And she had.
Sighing, she returned to the microwave when it beeped. As she poured the popped kernels into a bowl, a knock came on the door.
“It’s unlocked,” she called. “Come on in.”
A few seconds later, Brody appeared in the kitchen doorway. “You really shouldn’t do that, you know.”
“I knew it was you by the way you knocked.” She frowned. “Why are you wet?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “It’s raining.”
She listened, and sure enough she heard drops hitting the roof. Funny how she hadn’t heard that before. Only the silence in the house.
Brody studied her. “You okay?”
She sent him a strained smile. “Wonderful.”
“We don’t have to do this.”
“Yeah. I do, actually.” She passed him the popcorn. Brody had forgone going down to the arena with his team to instead curl up on the couch here with her. Even though she tried to convince him she’d be fine, he’d refused to leave her alone tonight.
Tommy would be fighting any minute. Here in Georgia. And she wouldn’t be there.
She’d missed his fights in the past, but now she knew she’d never be ringside again. God, why did that hurt so badly?
Brody sat on the couch while Julie grabbed the TV remote and turned it on. She normally didn’t miss a fight in the lineup, but tonight she hadn’t had it in her to watch the hours of matches preceding the main event. As it was, both men were already in the cage as the announcer introduced the headline fighters. Tommy and Ricky Moon.
She couldn’t tear her eyes off of Tommy. Black and teal boxing shorts rode low on his hips, and his chest was bare. He had his gloved hands resting on his hips as he slowly scanned the arena. What was going through his head right now?
Was he worried? Energized? Normally, she could tell, but not tonight. He just kept looking. Then it hit her. It was the deafening roar of the stadium. The chanting of his name she could hear among the screams of Moon’s fans. It had to be a special moment for him.
No matter how things had ended with them, pride expanded her chest. He’d worked so hard for this return—so deserved this moment.
“How much of a chance does he have?” she asked.
“From what I’ve heard, a pretty damn good one. A lot of it will depend on if Moon takes control in the beginning.”
“I want him to win, Brody. I really do.”
Brody leaned forward and grasped her hand. “I know you do. You never would’ve gone after him, convinced him not to cancel, if you didn’t.”
She squeezed his hand as she turned her attention back to the TV. Tommy and Moon tapped gloves, signaling the start of the fight.
As the men circled each other, a vise tightened on Julie’s chest, making it difficult to breathe. She took a shaky inhale, trying to calm the nerves attacking her body. Releasing Brody’s hand, she settled on the couch with her feet tucked up under her, and pressed her laced fingers to her mouth, muttering, “Please. Please. Please.”
Moon wasted no time charging Tommy, grabbing him around the waist and driving him into the cage. Moon landed multiple body shots. Each fist that hit Tommy’s torso made her body tenser, until she felt as though she’d explode from the pressure.
Brody sat forward, a vehement “Shit” spewing from his mouth.
Shit was right. Moon had taken control and had Tommy against the cage within seconds—the exact same way he’d beaten him the first time.
“He’s got to get out of the clinch!” She shifted on the couch until she was perched on her knees. “Get out of the clinch, Tommy!”
When Moon grabbed the back of Tommy’s head and yanked it down to meet his knee, Julie screamed, “No!”
It was like watching history repeat itself. At any moment, Tommy would crumble. The match would be lost. And his chance at reclaiming his title would be gone for good.
But unlike before, the knee to the face didn’t take him down. Tommy came up with an uppercut and caught Moon square on the chin. His opponent stumbled back, and Tommy straightened, chest puffed out. He advanced, not giving Moon a moment to recover, landing punch after punch.
Brody was on his feet, yelling at the TV. Julie was standing on the couch, jumping up and down. “Come on, baby. Come on!”
Now Tommy had Moon up against the cage with relentless jabs, making continuous connections with his sides and head. All Moon could do was bend over and protect his chin with his gloved hands. One blow to the temple stunned Moon and his hands dropped down a few inches, exposing his chin. Tommy brought his arm back, and with one right hand, Moon was on the mat, the umpire covering him, waving his hand.
And the fight was over.
In less than two minutes. Just as that article had predicted…but with a totally different outcome.
Screaming, Julie jumped around and cheered, then launched herself at Brody, hugging him.
“He won! He won!”
Brody laughed, and he was about to say something when the announcer interrupted with, “Ladies and gentlemen.”
She waved at Brody. “Shhhh! Here it comes.”
Tommy and a now recovered Moon stood on either side of the announcer. “This fight has ended one minute and forty-two seconds into the first round by knockout, declaring the winner and new Middleweight Champion of the World Tommy ‘Lightning’ Sparks.”
The referee lifted one of Tommy’s arms into the air. The belt came out, and her happy grin started to fade. She stepped away from Brody and moved closer to the TV, gazing longingly at Tommy.
She wasn’t there with him.
Her eyes were drawn to the photo hanging on her wall from a couple of years ago, where Tommy held the belt over his head, sweat coating his body, just as he was right now. The only difference was, in the picture she was beside him, smiling up at him.
“You love him, Jules.”
“I know. I’ve never denied that,” she said, turning back to the TV where his team was surrounding Tommy.
Twenty-three years of friendship flashed before her eyes. Even if at times they’d been in different states, they’d always had the other’s back, facing the world together. And now that fri
endship was gone.
As much as she’d prepared herself for this moment, spending years knowing one day their relationship would change, nothing had readied her for the pain that engulfed her.
Tears burned the backs of her eyes and she hugged her arms around her torso.
“Brody. I need to be alone.”
He sighed. “Okay.” She felt him come up behind her, and then he kissed her cheek. “Call me if you need to talk.”
As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, the first hiccupped sob shot past her lips. She pressed her hand to her mouth as she turned her attention back to the TV. Tommy’s face was overjoyed, his eyes and smile bright with happiness.
The same look he’d had two nights ago at the club. If only his career inside that cage had stopped, maybe they would’ve had a chance. But the reality was, it hadn’t. At least not for Tommy.
She had to move on, no matter how much it hurt to do so.
Julie picked up the remote and turned off the TV. She knew what came next. He’d interview, leave the cage, and the partying would start. He was free to do as he pleased. No worries of her disappointment. Her judgment.
Would he embrace it? Maybe not at first, but once the atmosphere got to him, excited him, he’d find his groove again—just as he had the other night. And then he’d realize she’d been right, and had done them both a favor by ending things between them.
She laid the remote down on the couch and straightened. Then she stood there, the silence closing in on her again. She wrapped her arms around herself.
What now?
Change clothes.
Yes, getting into her pajamas sounded like a good idea. She walked back to her room.
No, not a good idea.
The bed was as imposing as ever, screaming Tommy’s name. Lucy lay on the rug and lifted her head, that accusing look back on her furry face.
“Lucy, I’m sorry. I did what I needed to do.”
The dog made a whiny sound and lowered her head to her paws, those chocolate brown eyes latched onto Julie as she backed out of the room and retreated to the living room. Was there nowhere to go to escape him?
Would it just take time for his memory to fade from this house?
All she knew was, she couldn’t think anymore. If she could have thrown herself into her work, she would have, but she had to settle for cleaning an already spotless house. When her phone rang, she froze, only to be disappointed to see it was Brody. After the third time, she’d set her phone to go directly to voice mail, not needing the constant roller coaster of emotions.
For two hours, she concentrated on killing every dust bunny she could find, which wasn’t many, but the hunt kept her occupied. She’d just cut the vacuum cleaner off when she realized someone was knocking on the door.
She sighed. She should’ve just answered the damn phone.
As she opened the door, she said, “I’m—” The words died on her lips, and her heart skipped a beat.
Tommy.
He stood on the porch, drenched from the pounding rain. Blond hair plastered to his head, water dripping off the tip of his nose. The baseball cap gripped tight in his hands.
She swallowed, a thousand emotions crowding her heart. “What are you doing here?”
“You didn’t call.”
She blinked.
“I looked for you,” he said. “Before the fight, after the fight, hoping you couldn’t stay away, hoping I hadn’t really fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me. But I didn’t find you, and I felt empty, Julie. Totally empty.”
Her stomach fluttered. She’d been wrong. He hadn’t been enjoying the crowd’s cheers. He’d been looking for her. She tightened her grip on the doorknob.
He’d felt empty. So had she. But that didn’t change things.
“You didn’t call,” he whispered hoarsely. “I waited and waited, but you never called. I went back to Mac’s, paced around his place, and waited some more. I couldn’t believe you wouldn’t call. So I got in my car and came here. I’ve been stalking back and forth to my car trying to convince myself to leave for the last hour.”
She stared at him. “Tommy, you should know I was proud of you. You didn’t need me to call to know that.”
Hurt seared across his face as he jerked back. “Jesus, Julie, did I fuck up so badly you didn’t even watch the fight?”
“Of course I watched the fight.”
“And that is all you have to say?” Again hurt flared sharp.
“I’m not sure what you’re looking for. Congratulations?”
“I tell the entire arena, and millions watching at home, how much I love you, how much you mean to me, and congratulations is all you’ve got?”
Gasping, she clamped her hand over her mouth. Her eyes stung. “You did what?”
His gaze narrowed. “I thought you watched the fight.”
“I did, and I did not see that.”
He stepped forward, crossing the threshold, an almost frantic expression on his face. “During the interview. You didn’t see it?”
“No. I—I turned off the TV after you won.”
He shoved his hand through his drenched hair. “Fuck. I can’t even make up with you right. No wonder it was so easy for you to let me go.”
At his words, pain compressed her chest. “Easy was the last thing it was,” she whispered.
But he wasn’t listening; he was messing with his phone. After a few seconds, he tried to hand it to her. When she hesitated, his eyes pleaded with her. “Please, Julie. I need you to hear this. I need you to know.”
Hands shaking, her heart pounding, she took his phone to find a YouTube video pulled up. The title read MMA Fighter %^$%s Up, Begs Forgiveness.
She pressed play.
Tommy took the mic from the official. “But there is someone even more important I need to thank. A woman I realized too late I’ve never thanked or even mentioned, though she has been there for me every second of every day. Stood by me when *bleep* got real. Never wavered in her support of me. I never thanked her. I took her for granted. And now I’ve lost her.”
He looked into the camera. “Julie, baby, I love you. You have been my world since we were ten. You are my everything. I have never met a woman I wanted to hold hands with. Hold. Wake up beside every morning. Until you. I *bleep* up. I made you feel unwanted.” He looked around the arena. “I made the woman I love feel unwanted.” Boos came from the stands.
“Yes, I’m a complete *bleep* for doing so.” He looked back at the camera but was motioning with his hand to someone in the background. A second later, the Braves cap was thrust at him. Tommy held it up. “The moment I realized all the things you’d given me were about to be destroyed in that fire, I rushed headlong into the flames to save them. No hesitation. No thought. I couldn’t lose everything I had of you. That was before I knew I loved you, Julie. I failed in saving that box of memories. I lost every cheesy gift you’ve ever given me, and it was one of the most painful moments of my life. Then you gave me this hat”—he held it up—“and that’s the night you became more to me than just my best friend.”
He tugged it on his head. “That’s the night I realized that, yeah, it sucked losing the little mementos of our friendship, but as long as I have you I don’t need a damn box of…things.” He stepped forward, his face tight with emotion. “I’m so sorry. If I have to walk through flames again to show you how much you mean to me, I will cross hell and back to prove it. I *bleep* up. I’m still new to this relationship stuff, Julie, but you are the one I want to make mistakes with. You are the one I want to become great for. I want a future with you. I want you by my side. I want the entire world to know you are the woman I love, and who I want to make a whole lifetime of memories with. And most important, at the end of each and every day, I want to come home to you. Please let me come home. My life is empty without you.”
Tears swam in her eyes as the video ended. After all these years, not only he’d finally mentioned her in a speech—and so beautiful
ly—but he publically expressed his love for her in front of millions. Confirmed bachelor Tommy Sparks had told the world he was in love…with her.
When she glanced up, he stepped forward and said, “I know they are just words and I have to prove myself, but I swear to you, I will spend the rest of my life making up for this. You will never doubt again that I want you by my side. No one will ever question what you are to me. All I want is to come home.” He took her face between his hands, pressed his forehead to hers, and whispered, “Can I, Julie?” He closed his eyes momentarily before opening them again, and she was shocked at the moisture that glistened in his gaze. “Can I please come home to you?”
He loved her. Truly, deeply loved her. She saw it in his gaze. Felt it in the tremble of his hands against her skin. Yes, he’d screwed up, had hurt her. But she was certain the man before her now would never leave her standing alone again, because he knew the emptiness of being without her. And he would do everything he’d vowed to never feel it again.
She nodded, a shaky “Yes” stuttering from her mouth.
The tension released from his body as he pulled her into his arms, muttering, “Thank God.”
Then he kissed her, a frantic kiss that spoke of the level of fear he’d had about losing her forever. She clung to him, the emotions and desperation she’d experienced for days nearly overwhelming her.
He lifted her into his arms and kicked the door shut. She thrust her fingers through his damp hair, not caring that the moisture from his shirt was seeping into hers. All that mattered was that she wanted to spend her life wrapped in his arms, wrapped in the certainty that he was truly hers.
He broke the kiss. “Where to?”
“Our room.”
He smiled that heart-stopping smile he saved for her alone. “Man, I love that.”
She brushed his hair back. “I love you.”
It was the first time she’d said the three words to him without a “but” following, the first time she’d allowed all the feelings she’d kept hidden for years to free themselves in her eyes and heart.
Seriousness stole over his face. “Say it again.”
