by Amber Stokes
“Perhaps not.”
Trying to lighten the now somber mood in the kitchen, she smiled and injected a note of teasing in her tone. “It’s probably best you avoid women, Mr. Taylor. Otherwise you’d be carrying around a string of broken hearts.”
“You misjudge me, Miss Clay. I’m a cook. I don’t break things; I make things for people to enjoy.”
The sincerity in his dark eyes caused her to look away, emotion catching in her throat.
***
Rufus O’Daniel fingered the handle of his sturdy, ornate roll-top desk, unable to concentrate on the paperwork in front of him because a certain golden-haired angel – or was it devil? – refused to leave his mind. He should have gone after her himself. Oh, but wouldn’t all of his competitors and the other good-for-nothings in Virginia City just love to see him crawling after a whore like a lost little lamb. Silver was the shepherd around here, leading them all by the noses until the day it drove them straight off the nearest cliff.
Rufus pounded his fist on the covered desk. He hated the whole sorry business, but he still held to the notion that one day he would be the one to lead everyone else around – including Sally. For that was what love really was: not mutual affection, not abiding friendship, but one person being in control of the other. He had seen it with his own parents, along with enough other couples to have the idea hammered into him. It simply wasn’t possible to find happiness in any relationship until he was the one with the upper hand.
Now he had to decide if having the upper hand with Sally meant hunting her down himself or waiting for her to fall into his snare.
Slamming the lid of the desk back, he searched for an address he had made note of long ago and stuffed in one of the desk’s compartments. He swore when he was unable to find it, fingering a match in his pocket and momentarily contemplating burning the ridiculous piece of furniture to the ground. Instead, he snapped the match in two and stormed out of the office.
Chapter 6
A shrill sound came from somewhere outside the cabin, and in his weary state Joe couldn’t tell if it was the whistle signaling the start to the work day or something else. Could it really be time to begin again? It felt like he had just crawled into bed. He peeled his eyes open painfully, the resistance causing him to tear up. Darkness still clung to the cabin, but that didn’t mean anything around a lumber camp.
The other dozen or so men that fit into this pitiful excuse of a cabin looked to be out like wind across a candle. While Joe struggled to recall what awakened him, he heard it again. Weeping. After throwing on his pants, boots, and a tattered coat, he stumbled out the door as quietly as he could.
He knew it was her before he even saw the silhouette of her form on the edge of the tiny, sagging porch. For a moment, though, the only name that came to his mind was “Elizabeth.” Holding her while she cried. Comforting her after David’s betrayal. Hoping she would choose his arms forever.
“Sally.” He touched her shoulder gently, but she didn’t respond, except perhaps to cry harder. “I’ll take you back to your cabin.”
She jerked from his touch. “No!”
He cringed at her loud protest. Eventually, his luck would run out and one of the boys would join them. “Keep yer voice down,” he whispered harshly.
She shook her head in exaggerated motions, her hair falling into her face. “Stay away from me. I’ll never belong to you. He’ll come back for me. He will!” Flinging herself from the porch, she took off for the woods.
She was sleepwalking again – he could tell by the way she didn’t meet his gaze.
“Not again,” he muttered under his breath as he took off after her. At this rate, he’d be forced to recruit Myghal to take turns keeping watch over Sally’s home all night, every night. The thought made him want to drop right where he was and sleep in blissful ignorance of the world and all of its problems.
Sally was remarkably fast, as if she truly thought she had to flee from him. What was she dreaming about? Joe pushed himself in his groggy state, but he still lost sight of her in the darkness.
“Sally!” He called her name as loudly as he dared, his heart pumping even faster at the silence that met his ears. He couldn’t even hear her running anymore.
All of a sudden, the sounds of a scuffle originated somewhere off to his right. He couldn’t seem to find traction on the wet leaves as he spun toward the noise, and he almost fell flat on his face as his legs attempted to stay ahead of his upper body. Then she was in his arms with so much force that it was as if someone had pushed her. The surprise sent him reeling backward, and, in a moment, he and Sally found themselves in a sorry pile of leaves and pine needles and mud.
“Joe?” Her voice was small, not her usual sassy or flirtatious tone.
Leveraging himself on his elbows, he turned toward her, where she was curled up on her side in the mire. “Yeah, it’s me. Are ya hurt?”
She was weeping again, and the sound broke his heart. Against his better judgment, he gently eased her up from the ground and into his arms, rocking her back and forth as he stroked her tangled hair. As she cried against his shoulder, he wondered what he ought to do with this woman who promised to be the cause of many sleepless nights to come.
***
Shame. It surrounded her just as surely as Joe’s arms did, making her feel dirty, stuck. What was wrong with her? Must Joe always find her at the moment she was falling apart? Although being in his comforting embrace made her wonder if she were still dreaming.
She had been running from Rufus O’Daniel, running from his claims that she would never see Jack again, that her only hope was to accept a life with him. Escape seemed so sure until she ran straight into him, his cruel, restraining hands ready to drag her away. But then…
Then he had pushed her away, straight into another man’s arms – Joe’s. That last part had been real, hadn’t it? Because here she was in his protective arms.
What shamed her most at this moment was that she didn’t want to pull away. She hadn’t felt safe in such a long time. Choking on another sob, she buried her face in his shoulder and let him hold her.
When her tears finally started to dry, Joe stood up, hooking an arm beneath her legs and cradling her. She didn’t protest as he held her securely against his chest. Chancing a glance up at his face, she caught his usual stubborn expression. Yet when he looked down at her, his eyebrows relaxed a bit and his mouth…
Oh. A strong urge to kiss him blew over her like a fierce wind.
He adjusted his grip as he carried her back toward the cabins, and she clung to him. His stride was sturdy, confident. This hardly seemed like the Joe she knew back in Virginia City – the one who was lovesick and rather clueless when it came to women. This wasn’t a boy parading as a man. Joe was now a man who had experienced heartache and somehow matured because of it.
All too soon they were at her place. Joe set her down slowly, but Sally didn’t want to let go. She grasped his coat, meeting his gaze as he stood on the top step of the small porch.
“Joe, I…” But what could she say?
“Try to get some sleep, Sally. I’ll have Myghal stay out here to make sure you’ll be all right until morning.”
He wasn’t staying himself? Slowly unclenching her death grip on his coat, she stepped back and nodded once. To him she was a prisoner to be guarded, a guilty person who had to be watched so she didn’t cause trouble in the camp.
Disgusted with herself, she shuffled into the cabin and pushed the door shut behind her, wishing she could slam it without waking the others.
Perhaps this was the catalyst she needed. It was time to do what she came to do. Joe wouldn’t need to bother with her anymore.
Chapter 7
A week had passed since her nighttime run-in with Joe and her dream of Rufus. This night’s run was no dream, but if Joe saw her, she’d pretend to be sleepwalking and try again another night. She desperately hoped she had timed this right, though, as she longed to be on her way – on her
own again, until she found Jack.
It scared her to realize how deeply her hopes rested on him.
She absently rubbed the coin purse in her hands, holding onto it for no other reason than that it always comforted her, reminding her of the Jack she used to know back home. Before he abandoned her. The clink of the items inside was like the first note of a song – a moment of promise.
Gathering her courage and her skirts, she brushed past Myghal. He had to be asleep, as he hadn’t stirred from his position on the porch steps when she opened the door. His knees were tucked up to his chest, his arms folded on top of them and his head resting on his arms. He looked utterly exhausted, and how could she blame him? He and Joe had been taking turns sitting outside of her lodging every night, on top of all the hard work they did every day.
With one last glance at Myghal’s bent form, she rushed through the sleeping town. She probably could have run off days ago, but she wanted to be sure it was a night when Joe wasn’t guarding her and when Myghal would be dead tired. And if she were honest, she was having a hard time motivating herself to leave this place where she had a decent job working for a good man. Her gaze, finally adjusted to the dark, brushed over the cookhouse. She hated to up and leave Zachary Taylor, but all she had to do was recall Jack’s face to give her that one last push toward freedom from Joe’s watchful eye.
Clutching the satchel stuffed with the few belongings she had collected since she left Virginia City, she made it past the last few buildings and took off running into the woods, grateful for the rain-soaked earth that silenced her footfalls.
She kept the train tracks in her sight, hoping they would lead her to Eureka, where the men transported the lumber and where she could get a few supplies for her northbound journey. Her sense of direction was useless at best, so she would have to seek out landmarks along the way, but she wouldn’t let worry find a foothold in her heart. Every step she took at this point was a step toward Jack. If she could only find him, it didn’t matter what he did. If he accepted her, she would finally find peace and joy. If he didn’t, then she would make sure he would never be able to ignore her memory. She’d find a way to make sure that she would haunt his thoughts the rest of his life, just as he had been haunting hers.
Being ignored was her greatest fear and her biggest hurt. To have someone know she existed and then simply refuse to acknowledge her or care about her feelings…
Her thoughts flitted to her parents and the memory of how they’d doted on her younger siblings. And Jack – showering her with attention and then leaving her behind. Nothing ached like that pain.
Shoving her thoughts aside, she tried to focus on her breathing, which was becoming more labored. As soon as the tracks came into view, she stopped for a moment, huffing and puffing. She had been running like monsters from storybooks were after her. With a rueful smile, she decided that the memories that terrorized her were far scarier than any fictional creature, no matter how horrible.
***
Joe snuck out of the cabin before the whistle could rouse everyone for another never-ending work day. He wanted to check on Myghal and make sure the poor man had a chance to prepare himself for the day.
Slogging through the mud, he finally came upon the women’s housing several minutes later. Everything appeared fine, except that Myghal looked like he’d been out cold for a while. Gripping his thin shoulders, he gave Myghal a quick shake and resisted the urge to yell, “Daylight in the swamp!” The thought of Myghal’s likely reaction made him smile wide, though.
Lifting his head and stretching his long limbs, Myghal squinted up at him. “Mornin’, Joe. What’s put a smile on yer ugly face?”
Joe smirked and shook his head. “Just thinkin’ up some fun ways to wake ya up next time.”
“Thanks fer the warning.” Myghal grinned as he slowly stood up.
“Any trouble last night?”
Myghal cupped a hand to his mouth, blew out, and grimaced. “Well, I can’t say fer sure. To be honest, I don’t remember a thing.”
Despite a quick pulse of panic, Joe replied, “It would be nice if Sally had a peaceful night’s rest for once.” But he couldn’t squelch the feeling that something was wrong.
“She must’ve, as there’s no way I could sleep through her dream-walkin’.”
They both looked to the little house, waiting. Sally always woke before the whistle in order to help Taylor with breakfast. A few minutes went by, but no sounds rustled from the building. Joe sat down on the steps, trying to ignore the irrational fear churning in his gut. Maybe she had just slept in...
The door creaked open, and Joe jumped up next to Myghal. But it wasn’t Sally. One of the other women stepped out onto the porch, gasping when she caught sight of them.
Glaring at them, she lowered her hand from her heart and then eased the door shut behind her. “What are you boys doin’ out here?” she whispered harshly, crossing her arms over her chest.
Myghal spoke confidently and calmly. “We were jest waitin’ fer Miss Sally so we could walk her to the cookhouse.”
“Well, ya must have just missed her. She’s not in her bed.” Sweeping haughtily past them down the steps, she added, “Now if you’ll excuse me, some of us have better things to do than laze about where we’re not wanted.” And she took off in the direction of the general store.
The panic returned full force. Gripping Myghal’s coat, Joe whispered, “Are you sure she didn’t come out at all last night?”
Uncertainty filled Myghal’s normally warm eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t remember hearing anythin’.”
Before Myghal could stop him, Joe vaulted up onto the porch and swung open the door. A couple of women shrieked, but Joe paid them no mind as he scanned the room, rushing to the two empty beds, jerking off the covers, and pulling the drawers out of the small dressers nearby. Sally was gone, and it appeared her belongings were, as well.
Slamming the door shut behind him, he took off for the cookhouse, hoping that Sally had just been too quiet on her way to work to wake up Myghal. Of course, if she were there, he’d probably strangle her. Please, God, let her be there!
Bursting into the cookhouse, he made a beeline for the kitchen. Dismay overtook him as he ran past empty benches and shot into the kitchen, where Taylor stood by himself, jumping at Joe’s sudden appearance.
“What’s going on?” Taylor looked startled, and a bit perturbed at having the solitude of his kitchen invaded.
Behind him, Joe heard Myghal’s heavy footsteps pound through the doorway. “Have you seen Sally this mornin’?”
“No, but that’s not unusual. She should be here any moment.”
Ignoring the delicious smells of Taylor’s cooking, Joe choked out, “She’s gone.”
Taylor’s eyes darkened as he glared at Joe. “What do you mean she’s gone? Where would she go?” He flung the towel he had been gripping onto a table. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Sally often walks in her sleep, so Myghal and I have been taking turns sitting outside her cabin every night. Myghal fell asleep during his watch last night, and now we can’t find her.”
“Aren’t you boys overreacting? She could just be freshening up. She is, after all, a woman.” He picked the towel back up and twisted it in his hands, making Joe think he might be more troubled than his words suggested.
Joe didn’t have a response for that, so he simply stormed past Myghal and headed outside. He marched past the general store and glanced in every building he came across on the way out of the small town, hoping for a glimpse of Sally, but all was still dark and mainly undisturbed by human movements.
Myghal caught up to him again and clenched his fists. “I’m sorry, Joe. I thought for sure I would’ve heard her leave.”
A thought resounded through Joe’s mind. “Unless…she didn’t want you to hear her.”
“Ya think she purposely ran off?”
“Yes.”
“But where would she go?”
“Well, n
o matter where she wanted to go from here, she’d probably head for Eureka first, right?” Joe wished he could remember if Sally had said anything about any other destination she’d originally had in mind, but nothing came to him. Had he ever asked her?
“I suppose so.”
“Let’s go then.”
Before he could sprint away again, Myghal grabbed his arm. “If we follow Sally, I doubt we’ll be comin’ back anytime soon.”
“We’ll make her come back.”
Myghal raised his eyebrows at that. “I think we should be grabbin’ our things.”
“We’ll just miss one day of work – and I’ll be sure she doesn’t forget that.”
Myghal tightened his grip. “Joe, listen to me. Sally’s a stubborn lass. Ye won’t be convincin’ her to come back unless it’s what she wants. If yer serious about followin’ her, yer going to haveta be willin’ to give up this job. We’re not settin’ out to kidnap her – I won’t be a part of that. We’re going to help her get wherever she’s so desperate to go, or we just let her go and keep workin’ here.”
Taking a deep breath, Joe let Myghal’s words set his panicked thoughts in some kind of order. “Why would she leave, Myghal?”
“Guess she was jest ready to move on.” Running a hand over his eyes and through his hair, he heaved a weary sigh.
Joe understood how he felt. They had a good thing going here. Was it really worthwhile to go chasing after a woman who clearly didn’t want their help anymore? How had it come to this, anyway? Only a few weeks ago he would have been glad to see her going her own way – maybe.
He ground his boot into the dirt and searched the edge of the dawn-lightened woods. “I have a bad feeling about leavin’ her on her own. Someone here’s been watching her – probably half the lumber camp, actually. She needs us.” I need her, too. The thought chopped at his head with the force of a double-bitted axe.
Myghal headed to the cabin to gather their belongings and alert Mr. Falk of their departure – hopefully they would still get some pay for their time. Joe returned to the kitchen, planning on begging some food out of Taylor, but there was no need. When he pushed through the swinging door, Taylor met him with a sack of supplies. “I figured she wouldn’t stay here very long. Something was bothering her that she’ll have to face sooner or later. Perhaps this is for the best.”
