by Amber Stokes
Joe nodded, uncertain how to respond.
“Will you tell her I’ll miss her?”
Again Joe nodded, his heart and throat constricting. “I will.”
***
It took much longer to get to Eureka than Sally had originally hoped. She had never been able to get new shoes, and the ones she was wearing were too thin and too fancy to be of much use. Her feet felt numb from the cold and the constant pressure against her toes.
Not to mention that she had hoped to get food in Eureka. As it was, the little money she had saved was doing her no good in the forest. The encroaching twilight was eating away all of her hope and energy, and, if it weren’t for Jack’s ghost alternately hounding her steps and taking her by the hand, she was sure she would have given up and turned back hours ago.
The tracks she had been staring at the whole day began to blur as tears and weariness clouded her vision. Was this what it was going to be like all the way to Oregon?
As she pushed on, a sudden chill overtook her. Jack’s ghost seemed to have company, as she felt certain she was being watched, despite the fact that she couldn’t see anything behind her. Veering off to the left, she moved away from the railroad tracks and deeper into the forest, trying to keep to the shadows of the overlarge trees.
Nothing stirred, but still she waited, hating the darkness that permeated the sky. She hadn’t planned on being stuck out in the woods at night. She felt so weak, so cold, and so much like the sheltered little girl Jack had assumed her to be that day he abandoned her.
Sinking down into the sorrel and dirt at the base of the nearest tree, she gave into the memory she couldn’t ever seem to hide from for long.
“Jack! Jack! Wait for me!” She took off after him, excited about the future she had tracked down to this very dusty mining town. His head came up at the sound of his name, and then he turned slowly and met her gaze.
“Sally?”
His cap hid his eyes, and she shoved through the crowd departing the train station as quickly as possible, not wanting to miss his surprise and delight. She had made a way for them to be together, sneaking away from her parents’ refusal to see reason. Wouldn’t Jack be so grateful for her sacrifice?
“I’m here, Jack!” She hastened to stand in front of him, looking up with all the adoration and commitment she could muster.
He was silent for a while, and she began to fidget beneath his unreadable gaze. “Aren’t you pleased?”
“What are you doing here?” They weren’t the first words she had wished from his mouth, but maybe he was just too overcome with shock at her unexpected presence.
“I took the train, too. I purposely didn’t let you see me ‘cause I wanted to surprise you.” But what had seemed like such innocent fun on the train now seemed ridiculous in light of the condescension in his green eyes – those beautiful green eyes that matched his nice green shirt so perfectly. If only he was looking at her with the love she had been craving during the long trip.
Instead of sweeping her into his arms, he gripped her shoulders tightly. “Sally, you shouldn’t be here. You don’t belong in a place like this. Go home.”
He started to turn away, and panic flared in her chest. She latched onto his elbow. “I do belong here – with you. I’ll help you make a home where you’ll be comfortable. Goodness knows you need a wife and a house in this uncivilized wilderness if you hope to survive.” She injected a bit of humor into her tone, but that smile she had fallen in love with was nowhere to be seen.
“We already said our good-byes. I’m starting over out here.” He must have noticed her eyes filling with tears, because he added, “I’m sorry, Sally. I never wanted to hurt you, but you know I’m not ready to settle down. I left to find adventure, and maybe some silver while I’m at it.” Then he smiled, and she almost believed it was going to be all right.
“I won’t interfere, Jack – you know I won’t. You can do whatever you want. Please, just let me share some of those adventures with you.” Back home, she had felt so confident in his attention, and those memories made her hate this begging, pathetic side of her that was taking over.
His sweet smile turned into one full of pity as he repeated, “Go on home, Sally.” It was just as if he were commanding a stray dog. Then he turned and melted into the crowd.
“Jack!” Full-fledged panic gripped her and stole her heart away. She didn’t have enough money to go back home, and even if she did, how could she face her family and friends after being rejected like this? “Jack!”
She called his name again and again, but he had disappeared. She had never expected him to refuse her, not even in her worst nightmares. He had seemed so reluctant to leave her behind that she was sure he would be glad she had followed him.
But he wasn’t glad. He didn’t care for her at all.
Tipping her head back against the bark of the tree, she let a few tears fall. How horrible that first night had been. The cemetery where she had slept had seemed to symbolize all her dead plans and hopes. For days she’d wandered the town trying to find him, but she eventually realized that he didn’t want to be found. A saloon-and brothel-owner named Jacob found her half-starved and half-asleep on the wooden sidewalk one night and offered her a job. With no other options and all of her money spent buying that one-way train ticket, where else was she to go? What else was there for her in that dreadful mining town?
As the bitter memories seeped through her, she knew there had been another part of her that embraced the work, at least at first. Jack had crushed her self-respect, and she craved the sense of belonging as one of Jacob’s girls. All too soon, though, she’d recognized that the life of a soiled dove only alienated her from the world and the person she used to be – as well as the person she had always wanted to become. She was always lonely, but she had never had the courage or confidence to escape until she caught wind of Jack’s whereabouts from a needy miner and ran from one man while trailing after two others.
“Must my self-worth always be determined by men?” she whispered into the bleak night. All she heard was the cry of an owl, repeating over and over again, “Who? Who? Who?”
Chapter 8
The fog and cold seemed dreadfully out of place in this summer night, but Sally had to keep reminding herself that she was no longer in Nevada, or even in Missouri. She was on the North Coast of California, among the mighty redwood trees that comforted her and terrified her all at once with their height and solid strength.
She told herself to get up off the ground but couldn’t seem to find the energy. Night had fully descended upon the forest, and she didn’t think she could find the railroad tracks even if she wanted to. So she sat on the forest floor, wavering in and out of consciousness as she dreamed of sagebrush and river boats, Joe and Jack.
Voices suddenly penetrated her lethargy, and, in a moment, she was fully awake and standing by the tree, trying in vain to see where they were coming from. It sounded like two men having a conversation. Part of her longed to call out and see if maybe they could direct her to Eureka, but, as soon as she opened her mouth, her fear kept any sound from emerging. Could she really take such a dreadful risk?
The voices stopped, and the opportunity seemed to have passed. Head in her hands, she sank back down to the ground and gave in to her weariness.
Before long, though, she heard footfalls not far from where she sat. She stiffened, heart beating fast as she squinted in a vain effort to see who might be close by. Finally, she made out a tall, thin silhouette walking past, and her heart sped up with her desire to ask for help. Tears burning her eyes, she threw caution aside and whispered, “Wait.” Then, more loudly, “Wait!”
Jack! Wait for me! I’m here…
The silhouette stopped, an apparition that seemed to appear and disappear as it blended in with the shadows. Then it sped toward her, running and calling her name. “Sally! Can ye hear me? Where are ya?”
Myghal. Intense relief clutched her heart and brought more tears to her eyes
. “I’m here.”
He skidded to a stop, then knelt in front of her. “We wasn’t sure we would ever find ye. Thank goodness yer all right, lass.” His hybrid accent was heavier and stranger than normal, and it made Sally want to laugh. But when she opened her mouth, sobs burst out instead.
Myghal took her hands in his as if to help her stand, but concern covered his face as he held on. “How long have ye been sittin’ here? Your hands are froze clear through.” Sandwiching them between his, he began to rub gently. She gasped with the sudden warmth that filled her and then closed her eyes, relishing the moment of safety.
***
Finding Sally in this dark night would be like finding silver in the mines after they had been played out, especially since she didn’t seem to want to be found. Joe was seething, frustrated that Sally’s whims were taking him farther and farther from the life he had imagined for himself.
I’m sick of these games. Women are nothing but trouble.
“Joe!”
He turned at the sound of his name. After hearing a couple more calls, he settled on a general direction and started running. Roots and broken branches scraped his boots. He managed to stay on his feet, but when he caught sight of Sally, pale and shivering as she sat beneath a giant redwood tree surrounded by ferns, he dropped his bag and went straight to his knees.
“Sally, are ya all right?” He gently took one of her small hands in his while Myghal continued rubbing warmth into the other. She was a queen with her golden hair framing her sweet face, eyes closed as she allowed her devoted servants to assist her. For the moment, Joe didn’t mind being a servant if it meant slowing the silent tears leaking down Sally’s cheeks. He wished she would say something – he ached to hear her voice.
“Sally?”
She sniffed and tucked her head to her shoulder. “I’m so glad you found me.” Her voice broke as she whispered the muffled words.
“What were ya doin’ just sittin’ here?” It wasn’t like her to just give up…or was it? Did he really know her that well?
She wouldn’t meet his gaze as she tried to tug her hands back from him and Myghal. But they both held on, and her head snapped up, a bit of fire mixing with the water still in her eyes. “Let me go.”
“Are ye hurt?” Myghal’s question was soft, patient.
“No.” She bit her lip, and Joe couldn’t explain the warmth that suddenly spread through his limbs. “But my feet…”
“What’s wrong with yer feet?” Had she twisted something? Broken something?
“Nothing.” Bestowing a glare upon him, she concluded, “They’re just cold and hurting.”
Dropping her hand, he scooted back, then grabbed one of her feet.
“Joe, I’m fine – leave it alone.”
“Didn’t ya ever get different shoes? These are useless out here.”
“Don’t ya think I’m aware of that now?”
An unstoppable smile broke out at her petulant gaze. Turning his attention back to her feet, he slipped off her ridiculous shoes and her soaked stockings.
“Joe, my feet are freezing!”
“Well, damp stockings aren’t going to help ya any.” The smile disappeared – he didn’t have the patience to force it to stay.
“Please. I’m cold.” Her voice came out as a whimper as she drew her feet underneath her dress.
“Sally, I’m not goin’ to make you walk around with bare feet. You’re goin’ to wear a pair of my socks, and we’re goin’ to make camp here for the night while our things dry out.” He rummaged in his bag for his extra pair of socks as he continued, “Tomorrow we’re headin’ to Eureka, where our first stop will be a mercantile so we can get you some decent clothing.” He pretended not to notice her flinch at the word “decent,” but he wished he could take it back. Sally didn’t need to have her past always rubbed in her face.
“Our things will never dry out here.”
Myghal chuckled, but since she sounded so close to tears again, Joe chose not to respond. Instead, he held out a sock expectantly, waiting for her to allow him to help her. She looked ready to defy him, but a shiver shook her resolve, and she slowly extended her leg. They both seemed to gulp air at the same time as he touched her delicate foot.
***
Sally’s shivering increased at the warm, firm touch of Joe’s hand on her foot. Grasping her ankle, he slowly covered her foot with the sock, then rubbed it for a moment. She offered him her other foot, and he repeated the comforting procedure. Her heart warmed, and she wished he would never let go. She belonged here.
I do belong here – with you!
Wincing, she shook her head. She had been wrong before. Maybe she didn’t know where she belonged.
Joe and Myghal stood.
“I brought an extra bedroll,” Myghal noted. He grinned, then he and Joe went about clearing a space for a small fire and their bedrolls while Sally watched, feeling pathetic and helpless and exhausted…
A while later – she didn’t know how long she had been sleeping against the tree – someone picked her up and helped her get into a bedroll.
“Don’t leave,” she whispered.
Joe’s steady voice drifted back to her. “I’m not leavin, Sally.”
Reassured, she curled up on her side and went back to sleep.
Chapter 9
Sleep had eluded Rufus all night long, and nothing – no one – could satisfy his restlessness. No one except for a certain golden-haired minx who was too far away to be of any assistance.
He leaned back in his chair, staring at the telegram on top of his desk. He had fed on local gossip at the Washoe Club and finally discovered that Joe Clifton and his Cornish miner-friend had been heading for Falk, a lumber town on the North Coast of California. While Rufus didn’t believe for a moment that Sally would settle there long, he thought it worth the time and money to send a telegram to an old friend. The last he’d heard, the man was serving out there as a cook, but Zachary Taylor’s response was of little help, as it read simply:
They are no longer here STOP Have no notion of where they are headed STOP
Taylor had always been a man given to compassion. Who knew where he currently placed his loyalties? That hadn’t always been clear during the War Between the States, either.
Frustrated at being left to lick his wounds, he crumpled the message in his hand and pounded the desk with the closed fist. Forget those worthless miners. They’d never bring Sally back to him.
Jumping to his feet, he slammed his chair up against his deck. He then flattened out the telegram and proceeded to rip it into little pieces, scattering them across the floor. If Sally had left the lumber camp, it was obvious where she would eventually go – straight to Jack Harvey, should the man be stupid enough to open his arms to her.
Brushing his hands together, he left behind the shreds of his failed attempts at finding Sally and set about turning the tide of his war. Battles may be lost along the way, but the stronger man always gained the ultimate victory.
***
Sally was restless. If only she had enough money to take a stage or buy a horse – anything to avoid walking all the way to Oregon. At this rate, she and Jack would never get to see each other.
She kept her face to the ground, watching as her new, sturdier shoes – finally broken in – made their way across the forest floor, through ferns and small bushes and sorrel.
Myghal bumped her shoulder with his. “There ain’t nothin’ new on the ground that we haven’t been seein’ for miles.”
Looking up into Myghal’s kind, laughing eyes, she couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t have to slow down on my behalf. You’d probably prefer Joe’s company to mine.”
She gazed at Joe’s back. The man kept a steady pace way ahead of them, hardly taking any breaks each day and never letting Sally forget that it was her fault he had to leave his job in the lumber town. It didn’t matter how many times she told him and Myghal that they didn’t have to come with her because she was a grown
woman who could find her own way to Oregon. Being the “gentlemen” that they were, they insisted on “escorting” her – more like a prisoner than a princess, to her way of thinking.
Myghal snorted. “Ye think I’d prefer the company of ol’ Stonewall Jackson up there?”
Sally laughed, and the release of tension made her pack feel just a bit lighter. If it weren’t for Myghal, she didn’t think she could stand Joe’s bitter silence.
“Have ye been to the ocean?”
“No,” she replied, surprised at Myghal’s unexpected question. “But we’re not far from it, right?”
He flashed a secretive smile. “I’m thinkin’ we should veer west and see it, then. But first, I heard from some folks in that town we stopped at last night that there’s another sight we can’t be missin’.”
“And what sight would that be?” She let Myghal lead the way through the brush and between the trees as she waited for his response.
“It’s a sight worth seein’, and that’s all ye’ll be getting’ from me.” His glance back at her said that he was loving the thought of surprising her. A small part of Sally’s heart thawed with the pleasure of that realization.
“When will I get to see it?”
“Soon.”
“And when will that be?”
“Are ya always this impatient, lass?”
“Hmmm…” She waited until she caught his eye, then with a broad smile she said, “Always.”
He chuckled, and Sally was pleased.
After the sun was over halfway done with its trip across the sky, Joe finally stopped and allowed the group to rest and eat.
“We aren’t in any hurry, Joe.” Sally climbed onto a stump that must have been made when people were settling the nearby area and building their cabins. She relished the opportunity to look down on the boys, which didn’t come often given her short stature. Popping the last bite of a biscuit in her mouth, she waited for Joe’s inevitably negative response.
