Fight You

by Abby Mccarthy

  The judge calls me up and a bailiff swears me in.

  “I realize you have been through a great deal young lady,” he addresses me. The way he talks to me tells me he thinks of me as a child. “Can you please tell us what life has been like for you both.”

  I tell the judge about our life with Rich and how it was with Angie. I feel like I’m talking forever. I’m nervous and my palms are sweating. When I’m finished, another recess is called. We walk out of the courtroom and all of our family and friends greet us, including the club. I get hugs and words of encouragement. I seek out Marcella and I bring Daws over to meet her.

  She looks exactly how I remember her.

  “Marcella, you came.” I smile at her and she embraces me. I feel like she is the mother I wish I had.

  “Of course, I came. You did real good up there, sweetie.”

  I pull away from her and give Angie a hug. “Thank you. Both of you for being here.”

  Daws steps beside me and grabs my hand linking our fingers. “Daws, I want you to meet Marcella.” He knows all about her and how she saved me. Daws grabs Marcella’s hand and gives it a squeeze.

  “Thank you for saving her. If it wasn’t for you I would have never met her. I’m sure she would have figured something out ‘cause she’s a fighter, but thank you for helping her when she needed someone.” Nothing but complete sincerity comes from Daws and I’m touched.

  Marcella being Marcella grabs Daws and brings him into a tight hug. Carlo, Vito, Jenny and the rest of Angie’s kids are all standing together watching us. I mouth thank you to them. Jenny returns my smile.

  Dray and Daws’ mom approach us. I’ve only met her a few times and every time was fast and impersonal. I’m surprised she is here today.

  “Mom. Dad,” Daws says kissing his mom on the cheek and shaking Drays hand. “Thanks for coming,” he says.

  The bailiff steps into the hallway to let us all know that the judge is ready. I’m afraid. This could be it. All this fighting for Ari and I might lose her because of Rich after all. The judge motions for us all to sit.

  “Thank you all for caring so much about the welfare of Ari. It’s my job to look at everything objectively and to do what will ultimately be in Ari’s best interest. Although she has been through a lot in the foster care system, no real harm was done to her under Richard McCleary’s care. Given Ms. Adams age and no real blood relation... ” Is he kidding me right now?? My blood is boiling and I feel like he is about to say that he is going to send her to another foster home. I want to scream out that this isn’t fair. Daws squeezes my hand hard letting me know he is just as upset about this as I am.

  “Your Honor,” Angie shouts stopping him from making a final decision that will take Ari away from us. “I love that child as well, and before you place her back into a foster home, I have raised seven kids of my own and I am currently raising my grandson. Ari was living with me and flourishing. Before you send her somewhere where she isn't surrounded by people who love her, please consider granting me custody if you won't grant it to Aubrey. This whole room is filled with people who love her. Please don't take her away from her family, even if we aren't blood. She’ll never have blood family, but she has enough people who love her right here in this room.”

  The judge pauses and I’m not sure what he is going to do. The entire room is quiet, waiting for his response and finally he speaks up. “I’ll grant this on a temporary basis. We will check on her progress for the next six months and see how she is doing. After that six months, we can take a look at making it permanent, if that’s what we determine will be in her best interest at that time.” He slams down his gavel and we exit the courtroom.

  It’s bittersweet. He didn’t grant me custody, but he gave her to Angie. I rush to her arms. “Thank you. We were going to lose her. I love you.” A few tears leak from my eyes, I’m so overwhelmed by this family and how much they keep stepping up for us.

  The social worker walks Ari out and Ari runs to my arms. She wraps her arms around me and I squeeze her back just as hard.

  “You came for me,” she sobs in my arms.

  “I will always come for you,” I kiss her head, “I love you.” I take off my necklace and I reach around her neck and clasp the necklace on her. “This is yours.”

  She clasps the entwined hearts in her hand holding her hand there. “I love you too.”

  “We didn’t win today,” I admit to her not sure how much the social worker said to her.

  “You didn’t?” she looks panicked like she might run.

  “No, but it’s okay. The judge he decided we would be better as sisters.”

  “I don't follow?” she looks confused now.

  “He gave Angie temporary custody of you and as long as everything goes okay, in six months it should become permanent with Angie. You can visit me and Daws whenever you want. So, he did us a favor. We were always meant to be sisters and you are the best sister I could have ever imagined.”

  Tears run down her face as she looks from me to Angie. I know this isn't what any of us imagined today, but maybe this is the best solution. I want her to have the best life she can and Angie and her family have proven time and time again that they are so worthy of that title. “Go,” I say patting her back and sending her to Angie.

  “You… You’d really want me to be yours?” she says to Angie.

  “Of course I would. I know you will miss Aubrey, but she is right, you can see her anytime you want and you know I would hunt her down if she didn't show up for Sunday dinners.” I smile hearing Angie’s reference to Sunday dinners.

  Marcella chimes in, breaking the tension, “Speaking of dinners, how about everyone comes to my sister’s house. Let’s celebrate. I’ll cook my famous gravy.”

  “Invite the club,” I say to Daws and Marcella nods in agreement.

  “Food at Angie’s,” Daws hollers at everyone. We get looks from other people in the courthouse because he’s loud, but knowing Daws, he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, especially now that we have some resolution with Ari.

  Carlo approaches us and places a hand on Ari’s shoulder. “You want to ride with me and we can go pick up Gino from school? I bet that would make him pretty happy if you were to help me drag him out of class.”

  Ari squeals and jumps up hugging Carlo. “That would be awesome!”

  We make our way out to the Charger. “How are you?” Daws asks.

  “I guess my emotions are all over the place. Part of me is bummed that it didn’t go how we planned, but another part of me feels relieved. Is that horrible? I mean, of any parent she could get, Angie is amazing. I know she will take care of her and that we will be able to see her whenever we want.”

  “I understand completely, Aubrey. You’ve been so focused on surviving and taking care of other people that you haven’t had a chance to do anything for you. I’m bummed that she won’t be with us all the time, but you were right when you said to her that you were always meant to be sisters.”

  “You caught that, huh?”

  “I hear everything you say.”

  “I mean, I’ll be twenty next week. Maybe I could do something like school, or something. I don't know.”

  “Hold up, you’ll be twenty next week? I thought your birthday was in the summer.”

  “Why’d you think that?” I ask confused.

  “The ID we have on file has it in July.”

  I wave him off, “You know that one was fake.”

  “You’re right. I guess I just figured that only your name was different.”

  “Nope. That was made up too. I turn twenty next Friday.”

  His expression changes, “And you didn’t want to bring up your birthday because that’s his sentencing?”

  I nod my head. The rest of the ride to Angie’s is relatively quiet, except for the sound of the pipes from his family following us.

  People are already everywhere. Skaggs, Turk and Jarrod are leaning against the rail on the porch smoking cigarettes. Jenny
’s sisters-in-law come up the driveway with grocery bags and head towards the kitchen. We make our way through everyone, and thank them for their support.

  Daws heads out back where his parents are. I settle in with the women in the kitchen and help where I can until Marcella begins to shoo me away. “We got this from here. Why don't you see if anyone needs anything?”

  “Actually, do you mind if I snag Angie for a second?” I ask.

  “Not at all. I can handle the kitchen.” Marcella’s hands are almost elbow deep in ground beef as she says this.

  I walk upstairs and Angie follows close behind.

  “Are you okay?” she asks me as soon as we are in my old room behind a closed door.

  “I am. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you did today. That wasn't going to go our way and you saved us again. Between you and your sister, you have saved me so many times.” I grab her hand and squeeze it trying to convey how much she means to me.

  “You’re family. You might not be blood, but Marcella saw it when she first saw you, and I saw the same thing the moment I walked in my door and you were standing at the top of the stairs. You were always meant to be a part of us. We love you and we love that little girl, and if you ever feel like you need to come back here, this room is always yours okay? Don't think just because I’m taking custody of Ari that I won’t continue to treat you like a daughter. She might not be your sister by blood either, but none of that changes what you are to each other and this new arrangement won't change that for me either.”

  I can’t help it, her words do something to my heart. They fill it in a way that I never knew. I imagine if I had grown up with a family I would have had this feeling all along. Daws has given me bits and pieces of this feeling, but Angie just solidified it, making my heart whole.

  We embrace each other like mother and daughter, not like two woman who only met months ago, but as kindred souls.

  I walk into the kitchen and grab Marcella, pulling her into a tight hug. She is surprised at first since she is engrossed in making meatballs, but she welcomes me, as if she knows my heart is healing. Her squeeze is tight, making me realize maybe I kinda have two moms now.

  Outside, Ari and Gino are playing ball with their cousins. The ball sails in Daws’ direction and he leaps up and grabs the football. He is playful as he tosses the ball back to Gino. The ball comes sailing wildly and Daws’ mom shrieks and looks annoyed that a ball would land anywhere in her vicinity. I see Daws roll his eyes, but continue to play. The ball is tossed between the kids. Ari is having a good time. Daws throws the ball to Ari and walks over to me, kissing me on top of my head. Things might not have turned out how I planned today, but everything feels like it happened how it was meant to happen.

  Chapter 24

  Daws

  Aubrey falls asleep on the drive to our cabin. Our cabin. Just thinking that makes me smile. I watch her, the way her blonde hair is kind of everywhere. I had to roll up the window because the wind was making it fly up in my face. She is leaning on me, one hand is curled on my thigh.

  She has come so far, so fast and I am bewitched by her strength. At first glance, I would’ve thought it was her beauty that pulled me in, but now I realize it was her light. Even though she suffered in the dark, something about her always shone.

  I hit a bump in the road and she stirs. I could drive like this for hours with her beside me. I’m half tempted to, but Aubrey has had a long day and I know a bed is what she really needs.

  “Aubrey.” I nudge her waking her up.

  “Are we home already?” she stretches and her white blouse rises a little showing her stomach.

  “Yeah, sweet girl. We’re home.”

  Inside, Aubrey stops in the doorway of Ari’s room and stares at it. I watch her from the hallway to see if she needs me. Five minutes pass and she is still standing there staring at Ari’s room. I approach her and place my hand on her shoulder. “We’ll leave her room just how it is, for when she stays the night.” I try to ease her tension so I rub circles on her back. I was really getting used to having Ari here. Even though I think what happened today is what’s best for Ari, I’m still going to miss her. I’m betting that’s what Aubrey is thinking.

  She grabs my hand and pulls me in the back towards our room. She is tired. Tonight, she needs me to take care of her.

  “I’m tired,” she says yawning.

  “I know you are.” I unbutton her shirt and grab a t-shirt of mine that she often sleeps in and slip it over her head.

  “Daws?” she asks as I pull her into my arms right on top of our blankets.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s the deal with you and your mom?”

  I tense, not expecting our conversation to go here but there isn't anything I wouldn't talk about with her.

  “There isn’t much to tell. She married my dad when she was young and he’s a lot older than her and she hasn’t been around much. She never paid much attention to me, so we don't have much of a relationship.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s hard.”

  “It’s what it is, but I know you’ll never be that kind of mom to our kids.” She searches my face. It’s the first time I’ve mentioned kids to her and I watch her eyes to see how she reacts.

  “You’re right. I’d never be that way with our kids.” She doesn’t hesitate or argue, she accepts that we are building a family.

  “What’s your vision like, Daws? Do you see us having kids at the clubhouse?”

  “God, no. I don't particularly like you there. I would never want our kids there. I was raised there. I love my family, but it’s not a place for kids or women like you.”

  “Hey! I could handle it,” she jokes.

  “I have no doubt that you could handle it, but it doesn't mean that you should handle it. That being said, this life isn’t always easy. There are times when the club may be involved in dangerous things and you’ll have to stay there.”

  “We’ll work it out, as long as you’re safe and you always come back to me.”

  She angles her mouth to mine and kisses me softly. Tonight isn’t a night for making love. It isn't a night for fucking. Tonight, my girl needs me to hold her, so I do, until she falls asleep in my arms, then I finally take off my boots and settle in next to her. I never thought life could be like this with a woman; so good, so sweet. I always took what I wanted and mostly with my fist. I always had sex, rough crazy sex. It was never intimate, never like it is with Aubrey. She has given me so much more than I ever thought possible.

  *

  “You know we don’t need to go if you don't want to. Today is just a formality.” I’m not dressed up for today’s court appearance. I’m not trying to impress anyone. Actually, I want everyone watching to see my patch and know just who the fuck this man messed with.

  “No. I want to face him.”

  God, my girl is brave. She’s dressed in a black knee length dress that does some odd thing and wraps and ties around her waist. It’s not a sexy dress, but she looks beautiful. because well, no matter what she wears, I’ll always think that.

  I haven’t brought up that it’s her birthday today. I don't want to taint her birthday surprise with anything related to Rich so I am going to wait until he is completely behind us before I surprise her.

  “Let’s ride today,” I grab her patch and hold it up for her to slip her arms in.

  “I have a dress on.”

  “Better tuck it under your legs then, and sit real close to me.”

  She shrugs, like it’s no big deal and she slips her arms into her leather.

  I start the bike and let it warm up for a minute. I hop on and she quickly follows. The air is warm for spring as it whips around our faces. When I pull up in front of the courthouse, I make our own spot right in front of the building. The security guard sitting in front wants to say something to me about how I parked; I can see it in his eyes. So I give him a look that says, ‘I dare you motherfucker’ and he quickly breaks eye contac
t getting us through the metal detectors.

  Unlike our day in court for Ari, it’s just the two of us. There is media set up outside the courtroom and they try to speak to us. The District Attorney sees us and waves us over.

  “How ya holding up?” she asks Aubrey.

  “I’m just ready to put this behind me.”

  “I wanted to let you know that our office issued an arrest warrant for Shirley Hammond. She was your caseworker. We haven’t located her yet, but I’m sure she will turn up.”

  “Okay,” is all Aubrey says.

  We sit close to the district attorney. Behind us is the only press allowed in the room today, and that’s only because Rich drugged him. Mr. Adkins is sitting with an older woman that I’m assuming is his wife. Aubrey gives him a small nod acknowledging him.

  As we sit here, Aubrey is quiet, but her grip on my hand tells me she is anything but quiet on the inside. Inside she is screaming and tension is rolling off of her in waves.

  Rich is escorted in by several correction officers. He has a dark suit, his hair is slicked back, and I notice his very visible limp from where my girl shot him. He sees me and I smirk at him. He may think he is getting the easy way out, but I have plans for him and soon he’ll feel my wrath. Today is about Aubrey and his two other victims whose remains they’ve yet to find.

  He looks at Aubrey and even though he is far away, I see the sick fucker’s pupils darken. Gives me another reason for me to make sure Patrick’s plans for him include a lot of pain before he takes him out. Aubrey doesn’t know this part. She doesn’t need to. What she needs is to have some resolution and I think her getting to look him in the eye will do that.

  What I need is something entirely different. I need him to feel pain. He hurt what is mine and he won't live very long. Patrick is conveniently being housed in the same cell block as the good Senator. He is anxious to get back in our good graces. This is the perfect opportunity.

  The judge is talking, but I’m not paying attention. I’m watching Aubrey to make sure this isn’t going to send her into a panic attack. She has been working hard with her counselor, but I still worry. If I sense one coming on, I’m taking her out of here. She sees me watching her and nods for me to look to the judge. The room is quiet and all eyes land on us.