Ruin Her

by Sam Crescent

  “Hey, Mom. He says he’s not a perv? So I thought I’d bring him home.”

  “Why are you speaking in an English accent?” she asked.

  “Told ya, Mom, guys don’t mess with the Brits. Think of that spy I’ve seen on the telly.”

  She closed her eyes and wished the floor could open her up.

  “I’ve got a kid,” Killian said.

  Ignoring the big Killian, she bent down, and looked at her son. “Will you do me a huge favor? Go to your room and finish your homework.” When he went to complain, she pressed a finger against his lips. “You do that and I won’t drag you to work with me next week, and make you do more than your homework. I’ll make you clean grease for the entire five hours.”

  “Oh, Mom.”

  “Go. Homework. Now.”

  Killian went to his room, and she held onto the door. “You do not need to be here,” she said.

  “Excuse me, but that is my son.”

  “He’s not your son. You have no claim over him whatsoever. Don’t even for a second think you can come here, and make some stupid claim.” Pain unlike anything she had ever felt before struck her hard. This man, she had given him everything. Her body, her heart, everything. She had loved him more than anything in the world. One day she’d woken up to discover him gone, and was told he would never return, that she had to move on with her life.

  She’d tried to move on, and when it had started to work, the morning sickness happened. The pregnancy test happened, and finally, being thrown out by her parents, kicked out of college, and hitting rock bottom had also happened. Staring at Killian, as much as she was excited to see him, the pain held her back.

  She went to close the door, and with very little effort, he pushed it open, and allowed himself back into her apartment. Where she lived was the best she could afford. The furniture was well used, second-hand. She tried her hardest to keep the smell of damp out of her place, and nights of praying she didn’t live near drug dealers filled her life. This was so far from the ideal life she had hoped for.

  Clenching her hands into fists, she stared at him as he closed the door with him inside her apartment.

  “What do you want?” she asked, folding her arms. If she didn’t keep herself together, she was going to attack him and not stop.

  Killian looked around her apartment, and she saw the judgement in his eyes.

  “This is where you live?”

  “Yes.”

  “That boy, it’s mine?”

  “It’s? He, Killian, yes, and he’s your son.” She gritted her teeth together, and took a deep breath. “Why are you here?”

  “What happened to college?” he asked, avoiding her question.

  “They didn’t like knocked up candidates in their classroom, and then screaming babies cramp the studying environment.” That was what the principal had told her. She had been let go, and her scholarship had gone to someone else. Her son was the best thing that had happened to her. She loved him more than anything, and never told him any different.

  “Where are your parents?”

  “You really don’t get it, do you?” she asked. Even though ten years had passed, he seemed to think her life hadn’t changed. “They wanted nothing to do with me. I’ve been alone, Killian. The only person I’ve got is Killian.”

  “And what a great job you’re doing with him. His language is fucking awful.”

  She laughed. “Seriously, you’re going to come here out of the blue, and start yelling at me? You want to judge me for what happened?”

  He turned his back toward her, and began pacing. “This is not what you were supposed to have. You were always meant to have something more. You had college, an entire life in front of you.”

  She looked around her small space, and up until he’d criticized it, she had thought that she’d been doing really well. Every spare moment she worked to give her Killian a better life.

  “I’m doing fine. You can leave, Killian. I don’t know why you’re even here, but whatever it is, I don’t need you.”

  “Don’t need me? You’re living in a shithole with my son. You think for a second this is okay? Why the fuck didn’t you reach out to me? I could have provided for you, and given you all the help you n—”

  All of her life she had been the calm person, the respectful one. She rarely raised her voice, and the cops had even told her she wasn’t hard enough on her son. Everything she had been through, from the loneliness, the hard labor, and everything in between. The men at the diner who had offered her more cash for her to suck their cock, or to let them fuck her ass. She’d had to grow up fast, and drop any notion of life being easy.

  She had turned men down politely, even as they made her skin crawl. Everything she had gone through, and Killian thought it was fixed with just a phone call.

  Picking up the nearest lamp, which had so many chips in it, she launched it at him. He didn’t have time to catch it as it slammed into his middle. Next, she grabbed a coaster and threw it at him.

  “Provided for me? Do you even know what I went through? The moment I found out, I tried to find you! But you know what, Killian? You were nowhere to be found. There was no contact information for you at your college, at your job. You completely vanished into thin air, so don’t you fucking dare for a second try to turn this on me. I tried to find you. I was eighteen, the love of my life had just left me without any reason, and then I was pregnant. I was terrified!” She yelled the last part, and tears spilled down her cheeks.

  For months, even years, she had thought about this moment so many times. In her fantasies, they had all been a lot nicer, a lot easier to deal with. They had talked, and everything had been fine.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she stared at the man who had broken her in more ways than she had thought possible. This was the man who had changed her life in ways she hadn’t been able to comprehend at the time.

  He stared at her, and neither of them spoke. She was panting, and trying her hardest not to fall apart. Nausea filled her, and finally, she turned her back on him, needing to go and see her Killian.

  Standing in the doorway of her son’s bedroom, he was reading his book.

  “I love you, Mom,” he said.

  “Oh, honey, I love you, too.”

  So much. More than you can ever know.

  End of sample chapter

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