Keeping the Beat: An Adrenaline Novel

by O'Hara, Morgan

  "Kenzie," I closed my eyes tightly, hating myself even more for my past mistakes. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you'd seen that."

  "But what about all the others Jace?" She backed up and began to put even more distance between us. Her grey eyes were beginning to flicker with sparks of pent up anger. "Couldn't you see what that was doing to me?"

  ”I was too self involved. I knew I didn't deserve you and the best way to show you that was to be a total dick."

  "And now because another guy might be interested in me, you've done a one eighty?" She asked tightly. Her hands came up to circle her temples once before she dropped them to her side. "Jace, you hurt me.” She shook her head when I opened my mouth to apologize again. "From the first day I met you, you felt like home to me. Someone safe. Someone who cared about me as much as my brother does. With the Cooper's it took time for me to relax with them. Not to flinch when Mrs. C reached out to brush my hair back or when Mr. Cooper spoke to me.”

  As she stood before me her eyes filled with unshed emotion. I knew if she let the tears spill over I’d be done for. "With you, it was instant. Like we had always been together and always would be."

  “Kenzie." Shoving to my feet I hugged her close to me, closing the space she'd put between us. "Can you not see that I feel the same way?"

  "If that's true then why would you intentionally try to hurt me? Jace, you have never lied to me before, but you convinced me I was the last woman on earth you could possibly want.” She whispered the words pulling away from me, her expression agonized. “You not only broke my heart Jace, you broke my trust. That somehow feels worse.”

  I felt my heart jump to my throat as dread coursed through me. "Kenzie, I would never intentionally hurt you. You have to believe that. I convinced myself we couldn't be together, but all those obstacles I thought were in the way don’t seem to matter anymore. You have to give me another chance. Please.”

  "It's been a long night," Kenzie sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm feeling overwhelmed and tired. My head hurts and I want to go to bed.”

  "Okay, we'll go to bed and finish talking in the morning. I'll get you a painkiller and rub my fingers through your hair the way you like." She always purred like a kitten when one of the guys or I would do that for her. Especially when she was feeling sick.

  “Are you kidding me?” She shook her head once in disbelief. “I’m going to bed alone. I need to think."

  "What's there to think about?" I huffed feeling frustrated.

  “You can’t just decide you want to be with me, snap you fingers and make it happen. What happens if you wake up tomorrow and change your mind, Jace?"

  "I'm not going to change my mind." I pumped all the confidence I was feeling into my voice.

  “You can’t be sure of that! What if those obstacles you were talking about come back into play? What if my feelings for you have changed?” I felt the rapid beat of my heart stutter and stop at that. It seemed I was always selfish where Kenzie was concerned. I had assumed I would need to beg for her forgiveness and we would be together. I'd never considered the fact that it would be too little too late.

  “Please,” she said softly. “I promise we're not done talking but I need to go to bed." I wanted to argue with her but noticed how exhausted she looked. Sighing, I scooped her into my arms and carried her back to her bedroom, ignoring her grumbled protests that she wasn't a child. Like I needed that reminder. I went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, grabbing her pill bottle before returning to her room.

  "Thank you," she said quietly, pulling the blankets up to her chin.

  “You’re welcome.” I walked to the door and hesitated in the archway for a moment before cautiously walking back to her side. When she didn't protest, I leaned close to her and nuzzled her nose with mine before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Sweet dreams, sugar."

  “What’s with the nickname?” I heard her ask as I turned to walk away. I glanced over my shoulder to see her staring at me in amused exasperation. It was a look that said I was a little closer to forgiveness. I gave her a crooked grin flipping the switch on her wall to turn the lights off.

  “Because you taste so sweet.”

  I knew I'd be getting no sleep tonight, haunted by the distrust I'd seen in Kenzie's eyes. I should have known that getting the girl of my dreams wouldn't be easy. She was right when she said I'd broken her trust. It was wrong of me to assume a late night make out session had changed anything between us.

  Kenzie was beautiful on the inside and out. She was way out of my league. If I wanted her to be mine, I needed to restore her trust in me. My aunt and uncle had always taught me that if I wanted something bad enough I needed to work for it. Lord knew I wanted Kenzie Kane more than I wanted my next breath. I had to prove myself to her. I needed to earn her. Garret was right.

  I needed to step up.

  Chapter 10

  Kenzie

  When I woke up with the headache I had fallen asleep with I let out a little groan. It seemed sleeping it off hadn't done the trick. Throwing the covers off of my body I looked down and realized I was still wearing my outfit from my date with Jeremy. The previous night's events came back to me in a rush and I jumped out of bed changing into something that was more comfortable.

  The panicked need to find my phone streaked through me. Distracted by Jace’s late night visit and truth bomb, I had forgotten to text Reece with confirmation of my safe arrival home. She was probably going to skin me alive. That was if my brother didn't get to me first.

  I heard a loud bang followed by a curse coming from outside of my bedroom and followed the sound to the kitchen. Jace stood at the stove, his hair pulled back into a knot at the nape of his neck. I cleared my throat and watched as he spun towards me with a guilty look.

  “Ah, shit, I’m sorry. I was trying to surprise you.”

  Curious I walked towards him and peered around his shoulder to see what he was making. A smile came over my face as I looked at the stack of waffles, eggs, and the slightly burnt bacon we both preferred.

  “You’re making me breakfast?” I asked, my face breaking out in a surprised smile. Jace never cooked. He had refused whenever someone said it was his turn until we’d all eventually stopped assigning him the chore.

  “It was supposed to be breakfast in bed, but I dropped the pan on my foot. Sorry I woke you, sugar.”

  The idea of Jace having a special nickname for me made my heart quiver in my chest. His explanation for it just added to the thrill. “That’s okay. I was awake anyway. I need call Reece to tell her not to put me on a milk carton. I forgot to check in with her when Jeremy dropped me off.” I turned away from him to grab some plates, setting the table as he finished at the stove.

  Last night when I’d told him I needed to think over my feelings for him I had been lying through my teeth. Just feeling his eyes on me made me happier than I'd been in a long time.

  “Your phone was going crazy on the coffee table before I left yesterday.” He cleared his throat and darted his eyes at me before looking away. “It was Reece wanting to know if you were alive. I let her know you were. I didn't go through your phone or anything.”

  “I didn't think that,” I said taking the plate of bacon from his hands. “I wouldn't want her to worry about me. Thanks.”

  Jace give a short nod, the worried look leaving his eye. He grabbed the remaining food before joining me at the table. His smile looked almost shy as he slowly leaned towards me, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth.

  “You look beautiful in the morning,” Jace said nonchalantly as he cut into his waffles. When I didn't respond he looked up from his plate. Taking in the confused look on my face he set his fork down and grabbed my hand. “Do you not believe me?”

  “I’m just wondering why you said it,” I shrugged. I wanted to tug my hand away from his but couldn't make myself do it.

  “Because I’ve always wanted to, but never felt like I could.”

  It looked li
ke we were going to jump right back into our conversation from the night before. Breakfast was going to have to wait. “What was stopping you? You mentioned obstacles last night.”

  He frowned and nodded focusing his gaze back on his own plate. “One of them was the age difference which I already told you.” I bit back a groan as he glanced up at me. “Another was that you’re too good for me Kenzie. I’ll never be as smart as you are but I’m not a complete idiot. I knew you had a crush on me growing up and the drunken confession on your birthday scared me.”

  “I wasn't drunk,” I interrupted him and removed my hand from his. “On my birthday when I told you I was in love with you I was sober.” He looked stunned but I still had more. “You’re always talking about how smart I am, but you didn't think I was smart enough to know what I felt for you was real. I'm seriously upset with you for how you’ve been treating me. It makes me feel like you don't respect me or my judgement.”

  “I was wrong I’m a complete idiot,” he said pushing his plate away from him. “Kenzie I do respect you. That’s half the reason I’ve tried to keep my distance this past year. Hell, it’s more than half. I’m so sorry that I didn’t take your feelings seriously. You’re right I should have known better, but can you to try to understand where I was coming from?”

  “You said I scared you,” I prompted him and poked at the food on my plate.

  “I was okay with you just having a crush on me. That was something that you could maybe laugh about one day. But when you said you loved me.” His eyes were devastated when I looked at him again. “Everyone knows you deserve better than me. I’m petrified that one day you’re going to see the real me and realize it too. That you’ll want me out of your life for good.”

  “Jace.” The pain in his voice was too much for me. Rising from my seat, I moved to stand in front of him. I ran my fingers through his hair before clasping the back of his neck. “No matter what, that could never happen. I know who you are Jace. The good and the bad. I want you because of it. I’ve never wanted anyone but you. If anything the past year has proven that nothing you say or do can make those feelings go away.” And that was the truth of it. Deep down I had known there was no one for me besides Jace. I was sure I could be happy with someone else, but with Jace my life had the potential to be spectacular.

  He looked upset, no doubt remembering the shit he had put us both through this past year. “I’m sorry, Kenzie. You don't deserve someone who continuously fucks up and hurts you.”

  “It’s done.” I gave a small shrug. “We can’t go back and change what happened. I hope that you’ve learned from this though and you’ll try to stop making my decisions for me.” I wasn't naive enough to think he would be able to stop all together. Jace was too stubborn to completely back down when he thought he was right. “At least talk to me about what you’re thinking instead of pushing me away and hurting us both. That's nonnegotiable for me.”

  “I know and I will.”

  Jace kissed me with even more ferocity than he had the night before. I moved my hands down his abs lightly making the muscles quiver beneath my fingers. It was a wonder to me that I seemed to affect him as much as he affected me. Jace kissed my lips once more before pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. “I should go talk with Declan.”

  "What?" My voice rose at his offhand comment. "Why would you do that?”

  “Your brother is my best friend and bandmate. I need to talk to him about my intentions.”

  I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before smacking his arm.“You haven't even talked to me about your intentions.

  Leaning forward he kissed me gently at first, then again with more heat. When we were both breathless he pulled back with a sigh. “I intend to be with you.” He spoke with his lips trailing up my face to press butterfly kisses to my eyelids, causing them to drift closed. When I blinked them open again he gave me a somber look. “Kenzie, do you want to be with me?” I nodded once, delighted when his eyes brightened at my answer. “I respect your brother enough to tell him that.”

  We both heard the knock on my front door and froze as it opened. “Kenzie?” I heard Declan’s voice call out as he walked into the kitchen.

  Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

  My brother froze when he saw me sitting on Jace’s lap, my fingers still tangled in his hair. No doubt my lips were swollen from the kiss he had just given me. Reece appeared behind Declan, her eyes shining with humor when she took in the scene. I let out a breath relieved she was with him. I seriously couldn't remember how I had handled Declan’s overprotectiveness before she came along. Reece would help me try to deescalate the situation.

  Jace gently nudged me off of his lap even though I did my very best to stay seated. My brother wouldn't do anything bad to Jace if I was in his way. I felt a flutter of nervousness wondering how Declan was going react. I'd never been interested in a boy before. Only one unattainable man.

  "Maybe we should talk outside," Jace suggested after an awkward pause. Declan's eyes turned steel as he looked at his friend.

  “Maybe we should,” he agreed harshly. Judging from his stormy expression it was clear my brother already had some idea as to what Jace wanted to talk about. Shoving past his friend Declan walked into my backyard waiting for Jace to follow. I tried to catch his attention but he wasn't going to be easily distracted. “Let’s talk,” he barked out, pacing back and forth once his feet hit the lawn.

  “Declan, come back inside,” I insisted, grabbing Jace’s hand when he moved to walk outside. I couldn't stand the thought of them fighting over me. Declan was being ridiculous.

  “We might try to sell this house someday. I don't want there to be any dents in the wall,” he answered in a clipped voice.

  “This is barbaric,” I complained looking towards my soon to be sister in law for support.

  “He’s right. A dent in the wall could really drop the price down,” Reece shrugged with a small smile. I knew she had a violent side and no doubt she wanted to see what would happen when Jace went outside. When I gave her a dark look she blinked at me trying to look innocent. “What?”

  “You’re zero help,” I replied feeling my earlier affection evaporate. Once again it looked like I had the only sound mind in the family. Jace brushed his finger down my nose before he walked out the back door, shutting it behind him. Reece and I both reached to fling it back open again as soon as he did, but the two men had walked further along so we couldn't hear what they were saying. Reece dashed off before returning with two cookies, passing one to me as a peace offering.

  “Do you think they’ll take their shirts off?” She mumbled around a bite causing crumbs to fall to the floor. I let out a sigh and hooked my arm around her hip.

  “A girl can dream.”

  Jace

  “You obviously have something to say.” Declan folded his arms across his chest looking extremely pissed off. While he was a few inches shorter than me, the dude could pack a punch that would lay me on my ass. One of the good things that came from my dad being a professional fighter was he taught me how to defend myself. Those were skills I had passed along to my friends. It looked like those lessons were coming back around to bite me in the ass. I was definitely not looking forward to this conversation though I had been working my way up to it for months. “Say it, Jace.”

  “Kenzie and I are together,” I answered bracing myself. Declan’s nostrils flared once before he stared down at his shoes. “If you have a problem with that then we need to work it out. Now that I have her, I’m not letting her go.” I kept my voice steady even as I felt my hands start to shake. Declan was the closest thing to a father Kenzie ever had. He was the most important person in her life. I couldn't be sure of how she would react if he didn't approve. “Are you going to have a problem?”

  “Of course I have a problem.” Declan looked at me like I was gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe. “Kenzie is my baby sister.” I thought for sure he was going to deck me then, but he sighed in r
esignation pinching the bridge of his nose. “I guess if it had to be someone, I’m glad it’s you. God, I thought I was going to have to kick your ass soon for being such a fucking ass about it though.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked by his words. For the first time since Declan walked through Kenzie’s front door, I allowed myself to let my guard down.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face before answering me. “Watching you guys pine over each other these past few years has been nauseating. I thought Kenzie would get over it when you kept throwing women in her face.” He shook his head looking disgusted. “She still looked at you with stars in her eyes.” I swallowed hard feeling another layer of guilt pile on my shoulders. “Speaking of which,” Declan said nonchalantly. Then his fist shot out and punched me in the face.

  “Fuck!” I exclaimed as I felt my head snap back. It was a well deserved hit, but damn it hurt like motherfucker.

  “That’s for acting like a fucking coward this past year.” Before I could react, Declan grabbed my shirt in his fist and punched me again, this time aiming for my eye. “That’s for hurting my sister in the process.” He sneered at me as he released his titan grip. “If you ever hurt her again, you’ll wake up in a hospital bed. I don’t care if you are my best friend.”

  “Understood,” I answered rubbing my aching jaw. When I pulled my hand away from my mouth I noticed a few drops of blood. Sighing, I jutted my chin out for Declan’s inspection. “Is my lip busted?”

  “Yeah,” Declan grinned looking proud as he rocked back on his heels. “Your eye is already starting to swell too,” he commented smugly strolling back towards the house. I turned to follow him and saw Kenzie and Reece watching us on the patio. When Declan jogged up the steps he pressed a quick kiss to Kenzie’s head before turning to Reece.

  “Good job, babe,” she giggled when he lifted her off her feet and kissed her hard. I gave her a small smile when she winked at me over Declan’s shoulder. “Is everything okay now?” She asked running a soothing hand up and down his back.