Wicked as Lies

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Wicked as Lies Page 22

by Shayla Black


  “Cash is apparently going to rehab, which means he’s out of her house and out of her life for a while…but my hands are still tied.”

  “That’s got to be fucking miserable. Sorry.”

  Zy nodded. “You still seeing Madison?”

  “I’m not dating her. We’re friends.”

  “She’d sleep with you if you asked.” But Zy knew what Trees was going to say.

  “I know. She told me. But she’s not what I need.”

  Trees was looking for the sort of female who could survive by his side through any sort of apocalypse, one he seemed convinced was imminent. And she had to have the birthing hips to give him lots of kids. Madison wasn’t that woman. She was a high-maintenance waif from start to finish.

  “Doesn’t mean it’s not okay to want her for now.”

  Trees nodded like that had crossed his mind. “I know. But—no offense—she’d had too many guys like you talk her into bed for a night and walk away. Her heart has been broken, and I don’t want to add to her unhappiness simply for a few minutes of thrill.”

  Ouch.

  Madison had seemed casual and happy for the pleasure. Until now, Zy hadn’t thought he’d actually hurt her. “Shit. Now I feel bad.”

  “I told her you’re actually a good guy…deep down.” Trees sent him a wry smile. “Still not sure she believes me.”

  Zy hadn’t given her any reason to.

  The hours until lunch passed by at a snail’s pace. Tessa usually took her break around twelve thirty, preferring to finish her morning tasks first. A few minutes beforehand, he ensured all the bosses were either wrapped up or out finding food before he approached her.

  “Hey.”

  She didn’t smile, but her eyes glowed with something like yearning. “Hi. Good weekend?”

  “No. I worried like hell about you. Let me take you to lunch.”

  “We shouldn’t.”

  “I just want to talk.”

  Tessa hesitated. “All right. Give me five minutes.”

  “Sure.”

  Zy hit the head and locked his computer, then headed to Tessa’s desk.

  As he arrived, she slipped her purse strap onto her shoulder and dug for her keys. “Ready?”

  She drove since he usually rode his bike to work, though this morning’s chill had convinced him that Louisiana definitely had more in the way of winters than he was accustomed to. Maybe having a car wouldn’t be a bad idea. After all, he wasn’t in Cali anymore… But he’d be damned if he wrote home and asked for the overpriced Porsche his parents had bought him. He’d fucking buy something himself.

  “Yeah. Mexican? Chinese? Burgers?”

  She sighed as he held the door open for her and they headed into the parking lot. “Salad. I’m doing my best to stay healthy. I keep trying to exercise during evenings and weekends like I used to, but Hallie is too mobile now to sit on the floor with a few toys while I do my own thing.”

  “You can always call me,” he offered as they slid into her little sedan. “I’ll watch her.”

  She smiled, an expression rife with both apology and regret. “It’s not your problem. I’ll figure it out.”

  Zy wanted it to be his problem, but she needed this job. And every moment he spent with her was a moment fraught with desire that was getting harder and harder to resist.

  “So…what did you want to talk about?” she asked as she backed out of the parking spot.

  Anything. He just wanted to fucking be with her. But he had to keep his head screwed on straight and use his time with her trying to get the bosses off his back, not trying to get into her panties. “Nothing in particular. The bosses gave me a, um…side assignment. I’m working with Trees on some internal security stuff. Mind if I ask you about a few things?”

  Fuck, he hated lying to her, and he didn’t think Tessa was the mole any more than he thought Trees was, but he had to start somewhere, establish who, if anyone, might have fucked with her computer or broken into her emails.

  But his questions went nowhere. She’d never spotted anyone in the office messing with her machine or noticed anything amiss when she’d come back from the restroom or a break. She took it home most nights to get ahead for the following day. And on the rare occasions she didn’t, she locked it up in her desk drawer, as instructed. So there was almost no way someone would have unauthorized access to her computer. And Zy already knew Trees was way too sly to let someone into his computer without him knowing, so none of this shit made sense.

  He was still stuck with two questions: How had someone known Trees and One-Mile would be in Acapulco, and who had passed Walker’s email with the schematic of Valeria’s safe house to Montilla?

  He’d keep trying to figure it out. He had the shitty feeling the answer was staring him in the face, but he was too twisted up to see it. Probably because that wasn’t what kept him up all weekend. Maybe it should have been, but all he’d thought about was Tessa.

  “Are you really all right?” he asked. “What I walked into on Friday night—”

  “Don’t.” She stopped at a light and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to think about it.”

  Because what Cash had nearly done to her was horrific enough. Zy didn’t want to think about how much worse it would have been if she hadn’t called him and he hadn’t intervened.

  “I know.”

  “You don’t. I feel so stupid. I’ve known for months Cash isn’t a good person, and I was never in love with him. He was a mistake that came from of carelessness and loneliness. I’ll be forever grateful for Hallie, but…”

  “Why didn’t you kick him out sooner?”

  “I wanted to. But I needed the money, and Cash promised he’d pitch in financially, which he did. He also promised to give me much-needed help with Hallie, which he didn’t. I talked myself into believing that I shouldn’t separate my daughter from her father.”

  Zy got that. And in her situation, maybe he would have made the same choices. “Anything else?”

  “Are you going to make me say it?”

  Since he had no idea where she was going with this? “Yes.”

  “I needed to distract myself from you.” Tears filled Tessa’s eyes. She tried to look away, but Zy couldn’t unsee her pain. “But I’d kind of liked Cash once, and I think some part of me was hoping that he’d make me forget about you, especially after you and Madison started…you know.”

  He didn’t know. “You think we’re hooking up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Baby, we’re not.”

  “Semantics.” She scoffed. “You were. You called her after I signed my contract and all but announced you intended to fuck her again.”

  It had clearly hurt her, and that made him feel like shit. “But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I haven’t had sex with her since early March.” Fuck, he and Tessa weren’t going anywhere—they couldn’t—but he wanted to be honest with her. “I haven’t with anyone else, either.”

  She turned to him, open-mouthed and gaping. “You haven’t slept with anyone since…”

  “I met you, no.”

  Tessa swallowed. “I haven’t, either. I haven’t wanted to.”

  On some level, he’d suspected that, but her admission still thrilled the fuck out of him. And his reaction was nothing short of stupid. What could he possibly do with the information except want her even more? Unless…

  “The offer still stands. Quit your job. I’ll support you. We can be together and—”

  “I can’t.” She looked at him as if that fact was tearing her in two. “I need to make my own way. And I need this job.” A tear fell down her cheek. “I wish things could be different.”

  “If it was… If that fucking contract wasn’t in our way, would you?”

  She didn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

  If a path ever opened between them, he’d be on her doorstep in less than five minutes.

  “I know we can’t and that won’t change anytime soon, but I think about you,” she admitted, her
voice shaking. “A lot.”

  Fuck, she was gouging out his insides. “Baby, I think about you, too. I worried about you being alone all weekend.”

  “I wasn’t alone.”

  “Weren’t you? Who held you? Who made you feel safe so you could shower after Cash was gone? So you could sleep? So you could feel like you hadn’t been totally violated in your own home? While you were grieving your dad?”

  More tears fell. “No one.”

  Zy couldn’t fault her for feeling the need to care for her daughter and make her way in the world, but damn it, what the fuck were they supposed to do? They had nowhere to go from here but up in flames.

  “Fuck.”

  “As hard as it is to be near you when I can’t be with you…it’s harder being without you at all.”

  He’d come to the same conclusion. Every minute he wasn’t with her, he missed her so much. Every night he craved her, he spent it stroking himself to empty orgasms that only left him wanting her more. It was a vicious cycle that needed to stop. “So what do we do? What can we do?”

  “Nothing.”

  She was right, and that made Zy feel so fucking helpless. But he’d be goddamned if he didn’t think of something, some way to get out of this fucking tangle so he could finally make her his.

  Christmas Eve

  Over the ensuing five weeks, Tessa was both happier than she’d been in forever…and sadder. Every moment she spent with Zy was euphoric, filled with tingles and butterflies and giddiness. He made her feel beautiful. He made her feel important. And without touching her at all, he made her feel like a woman.

  But inevitably, the bosses would pull Zy away for assignments or schedule meetings during their lunches. And she knew why. They meant well, especially since spending a cozy hour every day with Zy was reckless. Still, even if they did nothing more than talk, listen to music, and disagree about their favorite movies, she hated losing the moments they’d planned together because just being around him made her happy.

  But tonight filled her with mixed feelings. Yes, they had attended a Christmas party together earlier in the month, at the very swanky home of former FBI agent Sean Mackenzie. He apparently shared the place—and his wife—with club owner Mitchell Thorpe. They were lovely people and gracious hosts...even if Tessa didn’t understand their relationship.

  By comparison, Trees’s Christmas Eve dinner would be intimate. And she was nervous. If she and Zy slipped up and got too close…no one tonight would stop them.

  She shimmied the skirt of her sexy red holiday dress into place and kissed a cooing Hallie, who sat in her car seat, wearing a green velvet onesie that matched her bright eyes.

  “Ready, gorgeous?” she asked her daughter.

  Hallie gurgled and clapped.

  They’d both been happier since Cash had gone. She’d spent the weekend after his arrest scrubbing away every last trace of him in her house. The rest of his belongings, like his computer and all his games, she’d taken to his father, who’d been relieved that she hadn’t pressed charges and grateful that she’d brought Hallie to visit him. Tessa felt sorry for the older man. His wife had passed, and his son was a mess. She hadn’t seen any reason to add to his burden. In fact, she hoped Cash finally found some peace in rehab and got himself straightened out. Not that she would trust him again. Ever. His days of being a staple in her life were over. But she hoped they could behave civilly for Hallie’s sake.

  Her doorbell rang. Tessa shelved thoughts of Cash and focused on Zy instead. Inside, she leapt with excitement. Yes, she knew she was playing with fire. But she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to be near him, with him, surrounded by him.

  She loved him. And she suspected he loved her, too. Neither of them had ever said the words—they would only be throwing gasoline-soaked kindling on the flame—but she felt it every moment they spent together.

  Tessa tugged the door open. Zy stood there with a pointy, jingle-ball hat, a jaunty grin, and a Santa suit unlike any she’d ever seen, complete with an open jacket and tight red pants. The look was way more hot man abs than ho ho ho.

  “Merry Christmas, baby. You want to sit on Santa’s lap and tell me if you’ve been a good girl? Or are you on the naughty list?”

  She giggled. “Oh, my gosh. That’s what you’re wearing?”

  “Why not?”

  That only made her laugh harder.

  “Every girl needs some Santa in her life. Don’t you, Hallie-Boo?” He bent to her daughter and whipped out a present from his pocket. “Here’s a little something to make your car ride happy.”

  Hallie grabbed the little cardboard book by the attached red handle and shook it with an excited cry. It made a jumble of noises, from jingle bells to animal sounds to a rumbling Santa laugh.

  The gesture warmed Tessa’s heart. Her baby would love this gift…and she loved the way he always thought of her. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.”

  “I kind of did. It’s a long way out to Trees’s place. You ready? You must be because you look”—he scanned her up and down with a hungry stare—“amazing.”

  “Yeah.” She leaned closer. “You look pretty good yourself, but I don’t think Santa has abs like yours.”

  He grinned. “Santa is full of surprises.”

  Tessa laughed again as she lifted Hallie’s car seat and they made their way to her sedan. She unlocked the vehicle and situated the car seat in its cradle. When she looked up, Zy had settled himself behind the wheel.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to make tonight as fun—and safe—for you as possible. Finding Trees’s place isn’t easy, and the dirt roads are a bitch.”

  “Dirt roads?”

  “Oh, yeah. In the office, Trees might seem quiet, laid-back, and easy to get along with. At home? He’s a paranoid badass looking for any reason to shoot anyone who steps foot on his property. You’ll see what I mean.”

  She’d never glimpsed that side of Trees, but if Zy said it existed, then it did. She’d never trusted anyone the way she trusted him, even, in the end, her own father. That told her a lot about the depth of her feelings. So did the fact that she’d spent the last month job hunting again, hoping to find a position with comparable pay and benefits working for someone who wouldn’t care anything about her personal life. Unfortunately, the search had merely reinforced the reality that, in a city of 125,000 people, the opportunities for someone with her skills, requiring her pay, just weren’t there.

  But she refused to give up. Maybe something would materialize in January…

  Pasting on a smile, she gestured to the steering wheel. “Then lead the way.”

  He backed out of her driveway and headed for the highway. Christmas carols played softly in the background. And Tessa was painfully aware of the fact that she sat less than a foot from the man she wanted so badly she could taste it, the seat belt pressing the open Santa jacket to his sides, leaving her a mouthwatering view of his strong, solid chest and amazing twelve-pack abs.

  Lord have mercy.

  No, she wasn’t in love with him because his muscles made her drool. She’d fallen for the man inside. But no denying the outer packaging stirred her interest…along with parts farther south.

  She had to stop thinking like this, or if she got a little booze in her system, she’d be all over Zy. “Tell me what I’m in for tonight.”

  “I’m not entirely sure. Trees said Christmas Eve dinner. Dress festive. He has the food and booze covered.”

  “That’s all I heard, too. Can he cook?”

  Zy winced. “No. And—I hate to break it to you—but he’s too much of a survivalist to order a holiday dinner.”

  “Oh.” Good thing she’d eaten a sandwich, just in case. “On the bright side, I offered to bake desserts, and he took me up on it. So I brought them to the office yesterday. At least we know that part will be edible.”

  He gave her an enthusiastic nod. “I can live on pie for a night.”

  “Me, too. We’re go
od.”

  They laughed and settled in for the rest of the car ride, enjoying small talk and holiday tunes. They weren’t on the highway long, and the streets of the small town they passed through quickly gave way to unpaved roads. It was scary dark out here—no streetlights, no houses, no signs of life.

  “Trees lives here voluntarily?”

  “Oh, he chose this place on purpose.” Zy sighed.

  Finally, they turned a corner and passed a group of thick shrubs. An imposing gate appeared, and Zy hopped out of the car, waved to the top of a tree, then punched a code into a keypad on the surrounding fence before shoving the gate wide. While Zy slipped behind the wheel again and drove on, Tessa turned to watch the gate shut behind them.

  “Wow. He’s serious about security.”

  “Absolutely. It doesn’t matter whether he’s hit by an armed robber, civil unrest, or the zombie apocalypse, he’s prepared to survive.”

  She’d known his work, mostly via his expense reports, to be fastidious and detailed. She hadn’t imagined he had a crazy streak. “All righty, then. Do you know why he’s so…cautious?”

  “Yeah.” And Zy didn’t sound like he wanted to talk about it.

  They rounded a few more bends and finally stopped in front of a single-story, ranch-style house with white shutters fashioned like barn doors, a tin roof, and a carport. Outside sat his beat-up truck alongside a flashy red compact that looked out of place.

  “Fuck,” Zy muttered as he stopped the car and put it in park.

  “What is it?”

  “Trees, um…invited someone else.”

  He was out of the car and slamming the door before he elaborated. Confused, Tessa stood and retrieved Hallie in her car seat. It was a party. Didn’t Zy expect that Trees would have invited other people?

  Zy grabbed the diaper bag from the backseat, locked the sedan, and followed her to the front door, suddenly dragging his feet. “Try not to be mad, huh? Trees means well.”

  She had no idea what Zy was talking about as she rang the bell, but as soon as the door opened, the reason for his sour mood became obvious.

  A gorgeous brunette with sun-kissed skin, blue eyes, and a pair of pouty lips stepped back with a smile. “Hi, Zy. Good to see you again. And you must be Tessa.”

 

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