Let Me Heal You: Beautifully Broken Book 3

by Samantha Wolfe

  "That's what I thought," he said with a wan smile.

  "How long do you think this whoring around with random women is going to keep working for you?" I blurted out without thinking. I knew he'd been sleeping around ever since his fiancee left him last year. His face turned serious, his eyes intense, and I was afraid I'd made him angry.

  "Until the pain goes away," he answered me honestly.

  "And then what?"

  "I don't ever expect the pain to go away, so it doesn't matter," he said with sad resigned eyes. "I'll see you later, sweetheart." He sat down in his black Audi and drove away.

  "It does matter, David," I whispered sadly as I watched him drive away. "It does."

  I walked back into the house, worrying about my friend and the state of his broken heart. When I entered the living room, Jensen was sitting on the couch in silence with a very grave expression on his face as he met my eyes. It was frightening.

  "What's wrong, Jensen?" I asked in a fearful voice as my heart skipped a beat.

  "We need to talk."

  **********

  "Talk about what?" I asked woodenly as I felt my face slacken and go blank at his words.

  "Come here, baby," he said reassuringly as he reached his hand out to me. "It's nothing to be scared about. I promise."

  "Then what is it?" I demanded as I took his hand and curled up next to him.

  "I want to tell you everything," he said in a subdued voice, his hand clasping mine tightly. "I want to tell you about that night." His voice began to waver. "I...I want to tell you about what happened to my brother and my dad."

  I sat in stunned silence, afraid if I said anything he'd lose his nerve or break down. I couldn't believe he wanted to talk about this. He buried his face in my hair and took several deep breaths before he leaned back and began to speak.

  "It was a Sunday night," he began in a whisper. "The three of us had been working on Jordan's '70 Chevelle most of the day at Dad's house. Jordan took me out for dinner and some beers afterword. We sat there for hours, talking about cars and the future. Then I begged and begged until he let me drive his car." His voice broke, and he had to stop for a moment before he could continue.

  "I was so shocked that he let me drive, that I went a little crazy. I took us down this really curvy road that I loved to drive the Camaro on. I was going so fast, but when Jordan told me to slow down I ignored him. I was having too much fun."

  "We came to a really tight curve, and I was going too fast when a deer stepped out in the road. I swerved and missed the deer, but the car hit some gravel, and I lost control." He closed his eyes as he started to pant, then took several slow deep breaths until his breathing evened out again. "The car slid off the road into some trees and a barbed-wire fence."

  "I got knocked out, and when I came to...Jordan...Jordan had b...been impaled on...on one of those narrow metal fence posts. There was so m...much blood. It was...pouring out of his mouth." His shoulders hitched with a sob, and I gripped his hand tighter to anchor him. It was several long minutes before he continued again.

  "I called 9-1-1, but it was too late. I watched...I watched him die, Sydney." Tears flooded out of his eyes. "I watched the life just disappear from his eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop it." He sobbed for a little while, and I wrapped him up in my arms to comfort him.

  "I was taken to the hospital, but all I had was a cut on my head." His voice turned bitter. "It should have been me who died. He had a family, and I destroyed it." He was silent again, and I thought he was done talking, but he started up again.

  "Two days later, Dad started having chest pain while we were planning the funeral. He tried to brush it off, but Mom made him go to the hospital. He made it there, but he ended up coding in the emergency room. They tried to bring him back for such a long time, but he was already gone. So you see? It was all my fault. They both died because of me, because I was a selfish fucking dick that didn't care about anyone but myself." He stopped talking and stared blankly across the room. He was starting to shut down.

  "Baby." I grabbed his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. "You didn't know all that was going to happen. You didn't do anything on purpose to hurt them. It was an accident. Sometimes bad things just happen, and there's nothing you can do to stop them."

  His body shook, and the deep well of pain I saw in his eyes shattered my heart into a million pieces. His upper body collapsed into my lap as harsh ripping sobs tore up out of him, his arms wrapping around my waist so tight I almost couldn't breath. All I could do was hold on to him, and wait for the storm to pass with mindless soothing words and gentle caresses. He needed to let it out, needed this cathartic release if he ever wanted to heal these deep open wounds inside himself.

  I'd never seen anyone cry like this before, and it hurt so much to see it that I started to cry too, thinking about what he had lost and all that I had lost ten years ago. I hadn't realized how much pain I was still carrying around until yesterday, and I needed to let some of it out as well. So there I sat, crying and holding my best friend and the love of my life, hoping that this painful release would lead to healing and better things in the future, a future we were going to spend together.

  **********

  As I woke up, I felt this disorienting sensation that the world was dropping away from me. I opened my eyes and looked up at Jensen's face as his strong arms cradled me against his chest. He had just picked me up off the couch, and was now carrying toward the stairs to our room.

  "Hey, sleepyhead," he said softly. "It's time to go to bed." I snuggled in closer as he walked up the steps. It was dark in the house, and I wondered how long we had been asleep on the couch after we were done crying.

  He carried me into our room, and set me on my feet facing him. He stared down at me with adoration shining in his eyes. He reached up and stroked his fingertips down my cheek.

  "I love you," he whispered.

  "I love you, too," I whispered back, my voice wavering with emotion.

  He leaned down and brought his lips to mine. He kissed me slowly and sweetly at first, but as his hand moved to the back of my neck to deepen the kiss, it morphed into something filled with heat and passion. His other hand came up to the small of my back, and he pressed our bodies flush against each other. He let out a bone deep groan of need into my mouth, and my body melted into his.

  He took control of the kiss, his lips and tongue claiming me as his hand fisted in my hair. The hand on my back slid down to my ass, and he thrust his hips into mine. I could feel his cock hardening against me. The kiss lasted so long that when he finally tore his mouth from mine, I was left lightheaded and reeling from it.

  "Fuck," he panted as he looked down at me with dark feral eyes, his breathing heavy. "You drive me crazy. I can never get enough of you."

  "Then don't stop," I pleaded, needing his lips on me again. He growled as his eyes lit up like green fire and crushed his mouth against mine. The kiss completely overwhelmed me, his tongue wrapping around mine and his lips were almost bruising. His hands moved down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it up my torso slowly, and he broke the kiss just long enough to pull it over my head.

  His warm hands glided up my back until they reached the clasp of my bra, and he deftly unhooked it and pushed it down off my arms. He palmed my breasts, kneading and caressing them until I was panting with need. I grabbed his shirt and pushed it up his body, desperate to be skin to skin. He pulled his off shirt for me, and I immediately pressed my breasts against his hot skin.

  He walked me backwards, his mouth still feeding on mine, until the back of my legs hit the bed. He pushed me down onto the mattress, his body following me until he was on top of me. He started kissing his way down my neck, his hands all over me, like he was trying to touch every inch of my body. I tangled my fingers in his soft dark hair, and tried to push him down toward my breasts. He resisted my demands and kept kissing his way down my neck.

  "Patience, baby," he murmured against my overhea
ted skin. "Don't worry, I'll get there."

  I groaned in frustration, but all that got me was an amused laugh as his lips finally traveled to my shoulder. He burned a slow agonizing trail down my chest until I could feel his hot breath on my left nipple. His mouth hovered mere inches from where I wanted it, and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with lust in his eyes.

  "Is this what you want, baby?" he asked in a low sexy rasp that made my insides clench. Then he slowly licked my nipple, making an electric shock of pleasure fire down to my core. I gasped, and he hummed in delight as he smiled up at me with an evil glint in his eyes. "Do you want more?" he asked.

  "You know I do," I whimpered. "Stop teasing me."

  He responded by abruptly sucking my nipple into his mouth, making me arch up off the bed with a gasp. His tongue lashed across the sensitive nub until I was panting and writhing with need. He lifted his head and moved to the other side, doing it all over again until I started begging.

  "Please, baby," I pleaded. "Oh, please."

  "Tell me what you need, Sydney," he whispered. "I'll give it to you."

  I put my hand on the top of his head and shoved him down toward my throbbing, aching sex. For once he didn't make me say it. He just growled and undid the fly of my jeans then pushed them down my legs. He pulled them off and threw them on the floor. Then he put his face between my legs, pressing his nose against the soaked fabric of my panties and inhaling slowly.

  "You smell so fucking good," he rumbled as he nuzzled his nose against me. He gripped the sides of my panties and slowly slid them down my legs, his hot eyes fixed on mine. "Spread you legs wider," he commanded, and I instantly obeyed, desperate for him to taste me.

  Jensen didn't tease me this time as his tongue met my eager flesh. He licked once through my folds, from bottom to top, then began licking and sucking on my clit in earnest. Pure pleasure spiraled up through my body, building and building until I was wailing and thrashing as I came hard and fast. He lapped up my pleasure as he hummed with his enjoyment, the vibration making me shudder through the end of my climax.

  "Again," he told me, then lowered his face down to my pussy and laved his tongue across my clit again. He clamped his teeth on it, sending me flying into the sky with another release.

  I was still coming down with my eyes squeezed shut as I heard him lower the zipper of his jeans. I shivered with anticipation as I opened my eyes to watch him lower his pants and boxers as he stood next to the bed. His gorgeous cock sprang free, and I stared at it with longing. He started stroking himself, and I couldn't stop the needy whine that escaped my lips as I watched his hand moving up and down.

  "Is this what you want baby?" he asked as he moved closer, my eyes following his cock against my will.

  "Yes," I said breathlessly. "Please."

  He climbed back onto the bed and crawled up my body. He held himself above me with his forearms on either side of my head, the muscles of his upper arms and shoulders flexing powerfully. The head of his cock bumping against my thigh, and I thrust my hips up toward him.

  "I need you," he moaned. "Put me inside you."

  I nodded and reached down to clasp my fingers around his steely erection, the skin hot against my palm. I rubbed the head of his cock through my wetness then brought the tip to my entrance. He flexed his hips and pushed himself slowly into me with a low growl. I whimpered as he filled me up, the feel of him slipping inside me so right and so very good.

  "Fuck, Sydney," he breathed out. "You're so damn tight."

  When he was finally all the way in, he paused and looked down at me. His eyes were filled with lust, but the implicit love in them was even stronger as he held my gaze. He began to thrust in and out of me slowly, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot inside me. Another orgasm began to build inside me again.

  "I love you, baby," he murmured as he made love to me. "I've always loved you." He kissed me deeply, his tongue mimicking the slow even strokes of his cock inside me. I placed my palms on the side of his face and let him overwhelm all my senses. He pulled his mouth away to watch me again, his eyes soft and unfocused.

  "I love you," I told him, my voice low and intense. "I don't ever want to be without you."

  He closed his eyes as he took in my words, tears welling up in his eyes, his breathing becoming harsh and erratic. When he looked at me again, the tears were streaming down his cheeks to drip onto my chest.

  "Jensen," I whispered his name softly as I reached up and touched his face. I felt my own tears begin to fall as the love between us overwhelmed me too.

  "Oh, Sydney," he panted. "You'll always be mine."

  "I know," I whimpered back as he began to shudder with his impending release. "And you're mine." He thrust hard and deep into me, hitting that perfect spot one more time and sending me spiraling up into bliss. He followed right behind me as my insides rippled around him, our bodies convulsing against each other, the pleasure only eclipsed by the profound love that swelled up inside us. His body collapsed onto mine, and he buried his face in my neck as we came back down.

  "Mine," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight.

  "Mine," I whispered as I hugged him back. "Always."

  He rolled off of me and pulled my body against his until my back was tucked up against his chest. He held me in his arms, nuzzling his face into my hair and inhaling deeply.

  "Always," he breathed out, his voice filled with love as we fell into sleep, secure in the knowledge that our love made us stronger, and that we could conquer anything, together.

  **********

  The sound of a guitar pulled me from a deep dreamless sleep. I lie there for several long moments, my mind trying to make sense of what it was hearing. I reached over beside me to find the other side of the bed empty, and I sat up with a jolt. The music was coming from down the hallway, and I could see faint light through the open bedroom doorway. I climbed out of the bed, picked up Jensen's T-shirt off the floor, and slipped it on over my head as I walked out of the room.

  The light was coming from the open door of the room down the hall. A dirty blues guitar lick oozed down the hallway, and I gasped as I realized it was Jensen playing the guitar. His deep sexy voice started singing about being born under a bad sign, and recognized that it was the same song he had played with Jordan from the video Andy had shown me.

  I moved down the hall slowly, feeling like this was a dream. When I reached the doorway, I peered inside to find Jensen in only his lounge pants, sitting on the office chair holding his green Gibson guitar in his lap. The guitar was plugged into a small amp on the floor nearby. His eyes were closed, his fingers dancing effortlessly over the strings as he played. He started singing again, his head shaking with the beat. I stared at him in disbelief.

  He played another solo, the guitar wailing the blues as I watched mesmerized by the way his fingers seemed to coax the music out of the instrument with little effort. He was so into the song that he never even noticed that I was watching, until the very last note echoed through the condo, and he heard my disappointed sigh as the song came to an end.

  He looked up, his eyes taking a moment to focus on me. A bittersweet smile spread across his lips, his eyes glassy with emotion. I crossed the room and took the guitar from him, placing it lovingly back on its stand, then turned to face him.

  "What song was that?" I asked softly as I crawled into his lap. He curled his arms around me and held me tight.

  "Born Under a Bad Sign," he answered me in a wavering voice. "It's an Albert King song."

  He held me wordlessly for a long time, and I was afraid to speak again, not wanting to ruin this moment. This breakthrough blew my mind, and I didn't even know what to say anyway.

  "It was my favorite song to play with my brother," he announced as he finally broke the silence. "I wish you could have seen us play it together. He was so good, better than me."

  "I did," I said.

  "You what?" he said incredulously as he lifted his he
ad and stared at me.

  "Andy showed me a video of you guys playing that song together," I confessed with a smile.

  "I didn't know Andy even had a video of that."

  "You should watch it sometime," I told him as I put my hand on his cheek "You guys sounded amazing."

  "I miss him so much, Sydney," he whispered, his eyes filled with pain. "He was everything I wished I could be. He was so strong and caring. He could do anything he set his mind to, and he took such good care of his family. He always looked out for me. He was funny, constantly making me laugh. You would have loved him."

  "He sounds a lot like you," I told him with a small smile. He closed his eyes, and tears leaked out down his face.

  "I always wanted to be just like him," he said hoarsely as he raised his eyes to mine again. "He was so alive, so vibrant. People were just drawn to him. Everybody loved Jordan. He was a better man then me." His voice came out filled with bitterness and self-loathing with his last sentence.

  "Bullshit," I snarled at him. His head jerked back at my vehement reaction, his eyes wide. "You are a good man, Jensen. The best one I know, and I bet your brother would have agreed. So don't sit there saying things like that about yourself, and expect me not to call you out on it."

  He looked away from me with a hint of shame in his eyes.

  "Look at me," I told him sternly. I touched his chin, and his gaze flicked back up to mine. "When I look at you, all I see are the best things inside you, and they outweigh the bad by a million to one. You are strong and caring just like Jordan. Look at what you did for me at the parole hearing. You took care of me, and held me together when I would have fallen apart." My voice began to break with emotion. "You are alive and vibrant, and I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame the second I laid eyes on you. I love you, Jensen. I love every fucking thing about you, and I won't let anybody badmouth the man I love, even you."

  I watched his shocked face suddenly transform from bitter sadness to shining light as a slow smile spread across his lips. He gripped my face in his hands and looked right at me, his piercing green eyes seeing all of me, inside and out.