Edge of Desire

by Rhyannon Byrd

  Or maybe she just doesn’t believe a word you’ve said….

  Before he could dwell on that particular thought, she took a deep, shivery breath, swiped her tongue against the lush swell of her lower lip, then softly said, “And what about you? What are you, Riley?”

  He turned back toward the window and hunched his shoulders, wryly aware of the fact that he couldn’t look at her and say the things he had to say. Not with her sitting there watching him with that quiet intensity, taking in every nuance of his expression, every flicker of emotion in his eyes. He was too stripped down to his base elements, his face too open, revealing all the brutal, vulnerable details. He had no padding…no cushion to protect himself if it all came crashing down around him.

  Bracing one arm high on the windowsill, Riley narrowed his eyes, focusing on the steady, hypnotic rhythm of the rain as he tried to sort out where to begin. He cleared his throat with a cough, then finally said, “You know my mother, Elaina, was a…a little out there.”

  “Just a little,” she agreed, and he could hear the smile in her voice…could feel the warmth of her gaze on the back of his neck, watchful, encouraging…and waiting for him to get on with it.

  Riley took a deep breath, and then the words just sort of started pouring out of him in a deep, husky rumble, the pressure in his chest growing lighter with each confession, as he began to explain everything from the beginning. He started with his mother’s stories of the Merrick and the Casus, explaining about her obsession with the family bloodline. Then he told her about Ian’s awakening, and the Watchmen, and the gypsy legend that spoke of the Casus one day returning to this world, causing the Merrick awakenings to begin. He told her about the victims who had been killed…about the search for the Markers, explaining that they still didn’t know why the Casus and the man named Westmore wanted them so badly. He even told her about the “Buchanan gifts” and the strange power that seemed to be growing within him, enabling him to control objects with his mind, which he’d used to keep the door to her house closed during his fight with Neal.

  Hope remained silent through it all, listening to his story as the rain continued to fall on the roof in a steady, comforting cadence, and before he knew it, he’d told her everything. Every detail…except for one. Though Riley knew she deserved the whole truth, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her about the night he’d taken part in the “vision” ritual that had changed his life. Instead, he simply told her that once the Marker had been found, he would have to go in search of the next one, helping his family as best he could.

  She didn’t comment on the last part, though he could sense that she wanted to as he turned around. Meeting her dark, curious gaze, he said, “So that’s…it. Crazy, I know. But unfortunately, very, very true.”

  “I have a few questions,” she murmured, and for the next half hour, she proceeded to grill him in detail about the things he had told her. She asked questions about the Casus, wanting to know more about Gregory and his quest for revenge. About Riley’s power and how it worked, as well as the strange gifts that Ian and Saige possessed. Then she asked about Saige and the maps, and he explained how his sister had found the first Marker in Italy, and then once she had the maps, was able to use them to locate the second cross…and now hopefully the third.

  She also asked about Seth McConnell, and Riley went into greater detail about how he and the Watchmen unit in Colorado had come to be allies with a man who, as an officer in the Collective Army, had once been their mortal enemy. He told her about how a troubled Seth had contacted them after learning that the Collective Generals had partnered up with a man named Westmore in a dangerous alliance, and were now allowing their greed for the information Westmore had promised them to justify his association with the Casus. He also explained why they believed, especially after Kellan’s attack the previous night, that Westmore’s personal unit of soldiers were anything but human.

  She seemed fascinated as he told her the story of how he, Ian and the Watchmen, along with Seth and some of the soldiers who remained loyal to him, had gone into Westmore’s headquarters to rescue Saige several weeks ago. That’s when they’d first realized that Westmore and his men weren’t human, seeing as how the bodies they’d taken down on their way into the house were no longer there on their way out. They still didn’t know what species Westmore was, or if the Collective had their own suspicions about the man…or if they still believed he was as human as the Collective soldiers themselves, but McConnell was in the field, doing his best to get them answers. As an officer who was now working against the directives of his superiors, McConnell’s position was a dangerous one, and they knew his life was on the line.

  When he’d finally told her everything he could think of, Riley lifted one hand, rubbing at the knotted tension cramping through the back of his neck, and said, “So, I…uh, I know that you’d probably like me and Kellan to leave now, but we can’t. Not until we’ve got that third Marker. If we go, you and Millie will still be in danger so long as it’s buried on your land. But I give you my word that I’ll stay away from you, keep my distance. Just…so long as you promise that you won’t take any chances with your safety. Especially with the Casus out there, not to mention Gregory, who’d love to find a way to screw with my mind.”

  “Riley—” she began, making a move as if to stand up, but he cut her off, adding, “And it’s…uh, a given that I won’t try to touch you again. Hell, I didn’t have any right to do it in the first place. I knew it was wrong…dangerous, especially considering the hunger that’s twisting me up inside, getting more intense every day. I shouldn’t have touched you the way I did in the kitchen, but I just…I had to have at least that much,” he rasped, forcing the words from his tight throat as he turned, staring sightlessly out at the rain-drenched forest.

  He counted the beats of his heart, until he heard the rustle of movement as she stood up. “Why do you think I’d want you to leave now?” she asked. “That I no longer want what I asked you for last night?”

  A dry, gritty rumble of laughter vibrated in his chest. “You don’t have to lie, Hope. I don’t blame you for changing your mind. I understand.”

  “Actually, I don’t think you understand me at all. Not if you think I don’t want you.”

  The beats of his heart became harder…heavier, and he turned his head, slanting her a dark, questioning look over his shoulder. “What are you talking about?”

  She pushed her hands into her pockets and lifted her shoulders, a small, kind of lopsided smile tucked into the corner of that soft, beautiful mouth that made him want to pull her into his arms and kiss some goddamn sense into her. “I trust you, Riley.”

  “Christ,” he muttered as he turned back around, wondering what in hell he was going to do about her. “You look all grown up, Hope, but you’re still as starry-eyed as ever, aren’t you?”

  “You know that’s not true,” she argued, a strange, surreal sense of calm surrounding her that made him feel shaky, off balance.

  “Is it that you weren’t listening, or do you just not believe me?” he demanded in a clipped, hard-edged tone that lashed out like a whip, cracking and sharp. “Honest to God, Hope. Open your damn eyes. Even if you’re crazy enough not to care that I want to sink a pair of friggin’ fangs in your throat, think about what I have to offer you. Nothing. That’s it. A couple of hot, sweaty minutes of pleasure, and then I’ll be gone. If you’d think about it, you’d realize that you don’t want me coming anywhere near you. You’re not that kind of woman.”

  Instead of storming out, as he’d fully expected, she took a step closer to him. The soft glow of the bedside lamp burned behind her, casting a deep, lustrous shine to the warm, heavy fall of her hair as it draped over her shoulders, her eyes heavy as she took her time studying his expression. His face tingled as she studied his eyes…the angle of his jaw…the grim set of his mouth. When she was finally holding his gaze again, she said, “I know this is going to come as a monumental shock to you, Ri, but I am all
grown up now, and fully capable of knowing what I want. To be honest, a few hot, sweaty moments of pleasure would be about the best damn thing I’ve ever had. And you don’t have the first idea about what kind of woman I am. I want to use you for some hot sex, get you out of my system, and then I’ll wave goodbye when you walk back out my door.”

  Feeling as if he was standing on a boat in the midst of a churning, thrashing sea, Riley struggled to get his feet steady beneath him, but the entire goddamn world seemed to be shifting on him, throwing him off balance. Working for his voice, he managed to scrape out a few thick, graveled words. “That’s exactly what will happen, Hope. I’ll walk out, and this time, you won’t ever see me again. I won’t stay.”

  Her eyes went wide with a tender shock of surprise. “Did you really think I would expect you to?”

  He stared, not a single clue what to say.

  “I know you’ll leave, Riley. God, even if you could stay, why would you? I’ll be honest and admit that I’m a hopeless romantic. I still believe in true love and happily-ever-afters. I believe in hopes and dreams and beauty. Just…just not for all of us. Some of us, we have to take what we can get. Despite being a dreamer, I’m not a child. I’m not stupid, and I know better than to wish for things that I can never have. But I’m still greedy. I still want to enjoy you while you’re here. Want to get my fill of you, while I still have the chance.”

  He got it then, the realization nearly knocking him back on his ass. Jesus, she honestly didn’t think she was worth it. Worth the commitment and devotion and worship that she so rightly deserved. Riley would have laughed at the irony of it, if it wasn’t so bloody painful. Hope Summers, the most beautiful, wonderful thing he’d ever known. The only thing that had held him together all these years. Knowing that she was out there somewhere—living, breathing, existing—it had somehow given him the strength to walk that straight-assed path he’d followed, rather than sinking down like Ian had done. And he wouldn’t have had the force of will to pull himself out of the pit the way his brother had. He’d have sunk deeper…and deeper, until the end he knew was coming had no longer mattered. It would have been easier, but cowardly. And it was his memories of Hope that had kept him from taking that dive. Even knowing that she must hate his guts, he’d clung to those memories, desperate to be the kind of man she would have been proud of.

  But he’d known, as a given fact, that he could never have her. It was one of those moon rising at night and shifting of the tides kinds of things. Not up for question…for debate. And as such, he could not get his damn head around the fact that he was standing in that room, with her smiling at him…looking so beautiful and sexy and soft that it made him tremble, offering him one last, fleeting shot at paradise, while he still had the chance to grab it.

  A chance you can’t take, jackass. No matter how badly you want it.

  “You’re not thinking clearly, Hope. Not thinking it through,” he rasped, knowing he had to find a way to make her see the light. Because God only knew he couldn’t mount this fight on his own. He’d never stand a chance. She’d barrel through his determination like a force of nature, and the next thing he knew, he’d have her on that bed, beneath him, with his cock buried so deep inside her, he could feel her heartbeat…the heat of her soul. “I’m not the man you think I am. Hell, I’m hardly even a man at all. Sex with me, it wouldn’t be rosy and soft and nice. That’s not the way I am. Even if I wanted to be, there’s too much of the Merrick rising up inside me, and with each hour that goes by, its hunger is scraping me raw, wearing me down. I wouldn’t be able to control myself. My fangs will come out…my hands will change, just like last night. And I haven’t forgotten that look you had on your face when you saw them.”

  She winced, giving a small, embarrassed shake of her head. “I’m sorry. It just…It took me by surprise. I just needed some time to work it out in my head, but I…I should have known that there would be a good explanation.”

  “You call this good?” he barked, another bitter burst of laughter rumbling in his chest. “Christ, I’d hate to hear your idea of a bad one.”

  A frown settled across her brow as she said, “I’ve always known there was something…something different about your family, Riley. Granted, I never could have imagined it was something quite like this. But…to be honest, I shouldn’t have been so surprised.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve known about it forever,” he offered in a wry, cynical drawl, “and it still shocks the hell out of me. So don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  HOPE COULD TELL he was using sarcasm as a defense mechanism, just as she could tell that there were things he wasn’t telling her. Despite the bizarre, chilling explanations he’d given her, there was something he was holding on to…hiding it behind that dark, tormented gaze. And after everything else that she’d heard, Hope was almost afraid to know what it was. At the moment, it was taking all her strength, all her courage, just to accept the things he’d told her…and to keep fighting for what she wanted. Which was Riley, for however short a time she could have him.

  “I won’t say that it doesn’t make me a little nervous, the idea of what’s inside you. But it isn’t going to scare me away. I still trust you with my life,” she told him, and it was true. She just didn’t trust him with her heart, which was why she had to keep reminding herself that what she wanted from him was purely sexual. No promises. No emotions.

  And do you really think that saying it over and over is going to make it true? It doesn’t work that way, Hope. You know that.

  Ignoring the quietly worded question, she took another step toward him, adding, “I meant what I said, Riley. I still want you.”

  He lifted his right hand with its battered knuckles and scraped his fingers through his hair, his eyes blazing with a torrent of emotion. “It’s not going to happen, Hope. I won’t do that to you. I can’t. You don’t deserve it.”

  “That’s my decision to make, not yours,” she argued, struggling to find a way to get through to him.

  “Just…stop,” he growled, holding up his hand as she tried to close the distance between them. “Please.” He looked tired, the deep hollows carved into his cheeks only accentuating his haunting beauty. He was impossibly gorgeous, not to mention mouthwateringly sexy, but it was the shadow of fear…of soul-deep need that darkened his beautiful blue eyes that tore at her. Made her ache to touch him and hold him and offer him everything that she could. But he was so set on arguing…on fighting it to the bitter end.

  “I don’t get it,” she whispered. “I could see you being afraid to touch me because you didn’t want me finding out the truth. Didn’t want to frighten me. But I know the truth now, so what’s the problem? I won’t glom on to you. Won’t expect anything you aren’t willing to give. Won’t beg you to stay, when I know you’re so set on going. If you meant all those things you said last night, then why not just do it, Riley? Why not just give me what I want? After everything that’s happened, damn it, you owe it to me!”

  Shoving his hands into his pockets, he held his jaw with a rigid tension as he said, “You might know the truth, Hope. Might claim you’re not afraid of me. But that doesn’t change anything. The Casus are still out there, waiting. Watching. Getting involved with me would just put you in deeper, deadlier danger.”

  A shaky, tremulous burst of laughter spilled from her mouth, making him scowl. Holding up her hands, she said, “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t funny. But think about it, Riley. I think the cat’s already out of the bag on that one. You just beat the crap out of the school bully behind the bleachers for me. The gig is up.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “It’s a metaphor,” she explained, wishing there was some way to smooth the hard, jagged edges of his tension, his body held in a visible clutch of strain. “If the Casus are out there, well, it’s got to be common knowledge by now that we have a history. Our sleeping together isn’t going to change that fact, or make it any worse. So you’re going to have to do bet
ter than that.”

  “Damn it,” he growled, his hard, lean muscles shaking with some violent, explosive force of emotion, while his sharp male energy blasted against her, burning her face. “This isn’t a damned joke. If the Casus get their hands on you, you’re going to wish you were never born, Hope. They get off on pain…torture, and then they’ll rip you to pieces. That’s a helluva thing to risk for a woman I don’t love. For one I don’t plan on sticking around to protect. One I’m using for sex until I find what I want and then haul my ass out of town.”

  His words struck with the painful force of a blow, just as he’d meant for them to. But she wasn’t going to crumple so easily. With her hands clutched into damp, shaking fists, she wet her bottom lip, then carefully said, “I’m not asking you to love me, Riley. I’m not even asking you to stay. All I want is to know what it’s like to be under you, with you inside me. To be a part of you, for however long you’re here. And if the Casus do decide to come after me, then the closer we are, the easier it’ll be for you to protect me.”

  He flinched, saying, “God, Hope, don’t do that.”

  There was a tremor to his words that tugged at her heart, making her want to wrap him up in her arms and hold him, offering the comfort he so obviously needed. “What, Riley? What is it that you don’t want me to do?”

  “Put your faith in me,” he rasped, the hoarse words shaky and rough. “I’m warning you right now. It’s a bad move.”

  She could tell from his expression, from the haunted look in his deep blue eyes, that for whatever reason, he still saw himself as a threat to her. “What aren’t you telling me, Riley?”

  He stared into her eyes for a long, breathless moment, then gave a curt shake of his head. “I can’t, Hope. I just…can’t.”