A Meeting in the Subway

by John Hurst

  “Andrew, look at you, you are looking so thin.” She rushed the few steps towards him and held him close.

  “Ursula, you are letting all the cold in.” David her husband appeared in the doorway. Seeing Andrew he demanded,

  “What do you mean by coming here? Send him away Ursula I want nothing to do with him,” he turned and returned to the lounge.

  She was crestfallen. Her look conveyed all the love and tenderness that only a mother can show.

  “Wait there,” she said as she silently went back into the kitchen and returned a few moments later with some hot meat pies in a Tupperware container.

  “I’m sorry my darling but at least these will give you something warm in your belly tonight.” She pecked him on the cheek as silent tears trickled from her eyes.

  “Thanks Mum and Merry Christmas.” Andy turned and walked quietly away. It was going to be another night in the cold and wet.

  ***

  That night Andy overdosed and purely by chance was discovered by a Good Samaritan looking out for those sleeping rough at Christmas. He was rushed to hospital and was one of the lucky ones who survived.

  While recuperating in hospital Andy had time to think and came to the conclusion that he had been spared for some reason. He would try to get his life back on track though it would not be easy. He consented to a methadone programme to wean him off the drugs and was found temporary night shelter accommodation. Andy was determined to patch things up with his father.

  Six months passed and with an enormous effort Andy had kept clear of drugs. He also kept in touch with his mother but his dad would still have nothing to do with him. Getting a job was proving difficult but someone wonderful had breezed into his life and although he felt that nothing would come of it he could not help fantasizing that someday he might prove that he was not a complete failure.

  This was when Andy’s mother informed him that his father had cancer. He was devastated. No sooner did he seem to be getting to his feet when something would knock him down again. Seeing Heidi seemed like the only thing that kept him going.

  It was his father’s birthday soon and the two of them concocted a touching letter. Andy apologised for all the wrong he had done and expressed how sorry and remorseful he was for the way he had treated the family and the shame he had heaped upon it. It was not until recently that he realised how much his family meant to him and how it hurt not being able to show them how much he loved and missed them. There was no way he could put right the wrong he had done but if his father would just see him for a few minutes he would realise that he had changed and deserved a second chance. He was not asking to be taken back and he would never worry them again after that, if that was what they wanted. He wished him the happiest of birthdays and ended, ‘Your ever loving son, Andrew.’ Heidi addressed the envelope and enclosed a stamped and addressed one in the forlorn hope that it might bring a reply.

  There was no reply for a week or more, then out of the blue Heidi’s stamped and addressed envelope appeared on her doormat. She could hardly wait to see Andy. When she did she handed the envelope to him bubbling with curiosity. There was a slight gasp as he took it from her and quickly put it in his inside pocket.

  “Aren’t you going to open it then?” she asked, disappointed.

  “Not here. Let’s find a quiet place in the park.”

  When they were settled he took the letter from his pocket and quickly opened it. He looked at Heidi before starting to read. The pent up anticipation was plain to see. Heidi was watching him intently as he glanced rapidly over the page. His face blanked over as the eagerness drained.

  “What?” she asked.

  He handed her the note. It was short and to the point …..

  ‘Andrew,

  It was your choice to leave home. Your actions and the life you have chosen to lead have brought dishonour on our family and made a mockery of the way I have tried to raise you and the principles I have tried to instil in you. Someone who behaves in this manner is no son of mine. While I am pleased that you have come off the drugs, and appreciate your attempts at an apology, in my view, it is far too little and far too late. We are best off without you so kindly stay away.’

  It was not even signed though definitely in his father’s handwriting. Andy looked beaten and disconsolate as he hunched forward on the bench with his head in his hands. All Heidi could do was stroke his back consolingly, but she feared for his mental state and his broken spirit.

  ***

  Summer had gone, instead the distinct chill of autumn was in the air. The leaves lay in multi hued carpets beneath almost bare branches. The first whiffs of wood smoke were coming from a few chimneys. Heidi was to meet Andy about nine o’clock that morning in the entrance of the new shopping centre. She was a few minutes early. Andy was nowhere to be seen. It was very unlike him so she decided to wait a little while. After about fifteen minutes she was about to leave when she heard her name being called and saw Andy hurrying towards her. He seemed agitated.

  “Sorry I’m late but something terrible has happened.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s my dad; he’s taken a turn for the worse and has been rushed to hospital. I must get around there.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  On arriving, they made straight for the Cancer Ward. Heidi waited outside while Andy went to the desk to make sure that his father had been admitted.

  “And you are?” asked the nurse at the desk.

  “Andy Clarke, his son.”

  The nurse eyed Andy suspiciously.

  “Just one moment please Mr Clarke, I’ll check if he is available to receive visitors at the moment.”

  She returned a little later.

  “I’m sorry but your father refuses to see you.”

  The disappointment and frustration on Andy’s face were plain to see. “Please nurse,” he entreated. “I must see him, even just for a minute or two.”

  The desperation in his voice and the fact that the nurse knew the patient had not long to live, made the nurse relent.

  “Wait there, I’ll try again.”

  The raised voice from within the ward was that of his father.

  “Send him away. I do not wish to see him.”

  The nurse returned shaking her head.

  “He refuses to see you. I am so sorry.”

  Andy burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. The nurse put her arms around him and allowed him to cry on her shoulder until his anguish was spent and just the odd sob came from his bereft body.

  “Look,” she said soothingly. “You know you tried and I know you tried but we have to follow the patient’s wishes in these circumstances. Don’t be too hard on yourself; perhaps he might have relented by tomorrow.”

  Andy turned and walked resignedly away. What a blessing that Heidi was still waiting for him outside.

  ***

  That night Andy’s father passed away. Andy received the news on arriving at the Hospital the next morning. He went completely to pieces wanting to scream and shout, to kick and punch to rave and rant at the God that made this happen. He rushed from the hospital and straight to the park where he and Heidi often went. There were one or two secluded corners where he could sit and get his thoughts together. How he wished Heidi was there, unfortunately she was working. He was descending into one of his dark places. His head throbbed and eventually he fell asleep. He woke with a start. ‘What time was it?’ he thought to himself. He rushed to the subway to meet Heidi.

  Meanwhile Heidi had walked through the subway on her way home. Andy was not there. ‘Maybe he was at the hospital,’ she thought, so she rang a colleague on the Cancer Ward. It was then that she realised that Andy had been informed of his father’s passing.

  ‘Oh! Andy. Where are you now?’ she thought in anguish.

  ***

  Missing Heidi was the final straw for Andy. He desperately wanted a fix to drift away into a different world. He walked around for a bit, then made his way to t
he shelter, getting more and more agitated all the time. He sat on his bed trying to calm himself when the occupant in the next bed tried to make conversation.

  “Bet you can’t beat the shit day I’ve had, mate.”

  That triggered something in Andy. He went demented.

  “What the fuck would you know,” he snapped glaring at the poor bloke. He kicked his locker in and tipped his bed up scattering belongings everywhere. The night warden came rushing in and seeing the devastation got security to evict Andy from the premises. Andy blundered along the dark, narrow streets not knowing where he was going. His mind was in turmoil. There was a tight corner at the end of the road. He started to cross not noticing the car. Suddenly he was in the full glare of its headlights. He heard the urgent blare of the horn and then everything went black.

  When he came too he was in a cubicle in the A. & E. Department. He tried to raise himself up but gentle hands pressed him down again. His head throbbed and he hurt all down his left side.

  “You’re in hospital Andy,” came a familiar, soothing voice. “We’ll soon have you feeling more comfortable.”

  His eyes fluttered open again and he looked up into Heidi’s laughing eyes tinged with a touch of concern.

  “You were hit by a car and have a nasty bang on your head. You’re left leg is broken so I need you to lie still until we can fix you up.”

  ***

  They soon had Andy’s leg in plaster but he had to be kept in for observation, in case the concussion was more severe than at first feared. He was also black and blue from the collision and had to be assessed for any internal injuries.

  Heidi was not due to start work until two the next afternoon so she popped in to see Andy in the morning.

  “Well! how are you feeling today?” she said cheerily drawing up a chair.

  “Just a few aches and pains,” his effort to grin ended in a grimace, “but a lot better than I did yesterday.”

  “How exactly did it happen Andy?”

  Tears welled in Andy’s eyes, “Do you know that my dad is dead?”

  Heidi nodded as he continued, “I went to the park trying to sort my head out but fell asleep. Then I was late getting to the subway and didn’t meet you and was so peed off with myself. I went to the night shelter and someone upset me, I cannot even remember what it was now. Anyhow I kicked off and smashed up a few things and got chucked out so I can’t go back there. Then I ambled around the streets not paying much attention and walked in front of a car. You know the rest.”

  “Have they mentioned when you’re being discharged?”

  “They were talking about later today or tomorrow.”

  “So what are you going to do? Where will you sleep?”

  “I don’t know. Something will turn up. If none of the shelters will take me in I’ll have to sleep rough.”

  “What! With crutches and a broken leg? You must be joking.”

  Andy gave a shrug of resignation.

  Just then the Doctor and Ward Sister appeared at Andy’s bed, completing their morning round.

  “Oh! Hello Heidi.” The Sister recognised Heidi even though she was not in uniform.

  “I didn’t realise that you knew Mr Clarke.”

  Heidi blushed but regaining her composure said, “Yes, for a little while now. ….. I’ll just wait outside while you talk to Andy.”

  “She can stay, if it is alright with you,” cut in Andy.

  “Well Sister?” the Doctor enquired.

  “It’s okay with me. I was just going to report that Mr Clarke has responded well. There is no sign of internal bleeding and the concussion has cleared. He is also competent with the crutches we have provided and is ready for discharge, the only slight problem being that the night shelter he was attending before admission will no longer allow him to return.”

  “Oooh!” said the Doctor, “I can see how that might present a problem. Have you any other ideas where you might go Mr Clarke?”

  Andy shook his head. “Not really.”

  There was a brief, awkward pause. Then Heidi ventured timidly.

  “He could stay with me.”

  Everyone looked at Heidi. Heidi looked at Andy and added shyly,

  “That is, if he would like to.”

  Andy could not take his eyes off Heidi. There as an uncertain smile on her lips and her twinkling eyes, for once, were looking back at him with a soft tenderness.

  “I would like that very much.” He smiled.