The Game of Desire
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5.Nancy Jo Sales, Swiped. Documentary. Directed by Nancy Jo Sales, featuring Tim MacGougan. New York City: Consolidated Documentaries. 2018. 38:00.
6.Sales, Swiped, 38:00.
7.“Emerging new threat in online dating: Initial trends in internet dating initiated serious sexual assaults,” National Crime Agency, published February 7, 2016, http://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/publications/670-emerging-new-threat-in-online-dating-initial-trends-in-internet-dating-initiated-serious-sexual-assaults/file.
8.“Sexually Transmitted Surveillance 2017,” Centers for Disease Control, last reviewed October 15, 2018, https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats17/default.htm.
9.“Survey Finds Nearly Three-Quarters (72%) of Americans Feel Lonely,” Harris Poll on behalf of American Osteopathic Association, conducted September 19–21, 2016, http://admin.osteopathic.org/inside-aoa/news-and-publications/media-center/2016-news-releases/Pages/10–11-survey-finds-nearly-three-quarters-of-americans-feel-lonely.aspx.
Chapter 1: I Tell It Like It Is
1.A. H. Maslow, “A Theory of Human Motivation,” Psychological Review 50, 370–396.
2.Ty Tashiro, The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love (New York: Harlequin, 2014), 27–45.
3.“Anxiety and physical illness,” Harvard Women’s Health Watch at Harvard Medical School, last revised May 9, 2018, https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/anxiety_and_physical_illness.
Chapter 3: How Do You Like Your Love?
1.Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2015).
2.Chris Rock, Kill the Messenger, HBO, January 2009.
3.Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (Philadelphia/London: W.B. Saunders Company, 1948).
4.Landyn Pan and Anna Moore, “The Gender Unicorn,” Trans Student Educational Resources, http://www.transstudent.org/gender/.
5.Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2006).
6.J. Bowlby, Attachment. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss (New York: Basic Books, 1969), 180–198.
7.Amir Levine, Rachel Heller, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love (Penguin, 2010), Chapter 1, Decoding Behaviors, 8.
8.Personality Traits, second edition by Gerald Matthews, Ian J. Deary and Martha C. Whiteman, https://web.archive.org/web/20141205103724/http://elib.fk.uwks.ac.id/asset/archieve/e-book/PSYCHIATRIC-%20 ILMU%20PENYAKIT%20JIWA/Personality%20Traits%2C%20 2nd%20Ed.pdf (Cambridge University Press, 2003).
9.Tashiro, The Science of Happily Ever After, 174.
Chapter 5: The Power of Bangs
1.Nick Kolenda, Methods of Persuasion: How to Use Psychology to Influence Human Behavior (Kolenda Entertainment, LLC, 2013), 17–18.
2.James K. McNulty, Lisa A. Neff, Benjamin R. Karney, “Beyond Initial Attraction: Physical Attractiveness in Newlywed Marriage,” Journal of Family Psychology Vol 22, No. 1, 135–143. 2008.
Chapter 6: Don’t Just Be Yourself
1.Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction (New York: Viking, 2001), 5–15; 133–136.
2.Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Robert Waldman, Words Can Change Your Brain (New York: Penguin, 2013), 15–17.
Chapter 9: The 6-Figure Flirt
1.“Race and Attraction, 2009–2014,” OkCupid, Sep 9, 2014, https://the blog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009–2014–107dcbb4f060.
2.Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, 2012–2016 (2017).
3.“2018 Study on Sexual Harassment and Assault,” Stop Street Harassment, February 21, 2018, http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/2018-national-sexual-abuse-report/.
Chapter 10: Scrambled Eggs and Blow Jobs
1.“A Woman’s Advantage,” OkCupid, March 5, 2015, https://theblog.okcu pid.com/a-womans-advantage-82d5074dde2.
2.“How to Get From the Match to Matrimony,” The League Blog, February 14, 2018, http://www.theleague.com/how-to-get-from-match-to-marriage/#are-you-in.
3.Taymour Mostafa, Ghada El Khouly, Ashraf Hassan, “Pheromones in sex and reproduction: Do they have a role in humans?” Journal of Advanced Research Vol. 3, Issue 1, 1–9. January 2012.
4.Alan R. Hirsch, M.D. and Jason J. Gruss. “Human Male Sexual Response to Olfactory Stimuli,” American Academy of Neurological and Orthopaedic Surgeons, March 3, 2014, https://aanos.org/human-male-sexual-response-to-olfactory-stimuli/.
5.“The 50 things that put the ‘Feel Great’ in Great Britain,” Bupa (April 12, 2015), https://www.bupa.com/newsroom/news/the-50-things-that-put-the-feel-great-in-great-britain.
6.“Don’t Let Scent Insufficiency Take Over—Join Gain® and Renowned Smell Expert Dr. Alan Hirsch to Bring Back the Pleasant Aroma and Freshness You May Be Missing in Your Life!” Business Wire (June 4, 2013), https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20130604006458/en/Dont-Scent-Insufficiency–Join-Gain.
7.Alice H. Eagly, Richard D. Ashmore, Mona G. Makhijani, Laura C. Longo, “What Is Beautiful Is Good, But . . .: A Meta-Analytic Review of Research on the Physical Attractiveness Stereotype,” Psychological Bulletin 110, 109–128. 1991.
8.Tashiro, The Science of Happily Ever After, 102, 135–143.
9.Tashiro, The Science of Happily Ever After, 102.
Chapter 11: Fight-Flight Or Fruit Testicles
1.Arthur Aron, Edward Melinat, Elaine N. Aron, Robert Darrin Vallone, Renee J. Bator, “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Vol. 23, 363–377, 1997, https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297234003.
2.Dutton, D. G., Aaron, A. P. “Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30(4) 1974: 510–517.
3.Esther Perel, “The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship.” YouTube (TEDx Talks), February 14, 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa0RUmGTCYY&t=29s.
4.Copyblogger, “The 5 Most Persuasive Words in the English Language,” by Greggory Ciotti, December 6, 2012, https://www.copyblogger.com/persuasive-copywriting-words/.
5.Raj Persaud, “The Psychology of Seduction.” YouTube (TEDx Talks), July 7, 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E46oWB4V0s&feature=yo utu.be&t=6m15s.
Chapter 12: A Game of Her Own
1.J, The Sensuous Woman (Lyle Stuart, 1969), 104; 169–170.
About the Author
SHAN BOODRAM is a certified sex educator and intimacy expert with over 35 million YouTube views alongside her mainstream coverage across ABC’s The View, MTV, The Steve Harvey Show, CNN, the New York Times, Entertainment Tonight, Cityline, The Rachael Ray Show, Forbes and Time magazines.
Known by her community as “Shan Boody,” she was the relationship-expert host and a consulting producer for Facebook Watch’s Make Up or Break Up, and the host and executive producer of the Fullscreen series Your Perfect Date. She has produced content for MTV, the U.S. military, OkCupid, Esquire magazine and the CBC. Boodram is the author of Laid, was a contributing writer for Freeform Network’s The Bold Type series and has written articles for Teen Vogue and Cosmopolitan.
Boodram is an ambassador for AIDS Healthcare Foundation and WomensHealth.gov. She is a member of the American Sexual Health Association and Trojan’s Sexual Health Advisory Council. She is a certified sexologist and currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband, where she is a full-time vocal advocate for healthy intimacy.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
Also by Shan Boodram
Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture
Copyright
This is a work of nonfiction. Some names and other identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
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THE GAME OF DESIRE. Copyright © 2019 by Shannon Brady. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Cover design by Jenny Carrow
Cover photographs © cintascotch / E+ / Getty Images (cards); © winnievinzence / Shutterstock (kisses)
FIRST EDITION
Digital Edition JULY 2019 ISBN: 978-0-06-288601-9
Version 06062019
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-295254-7
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