Switching Gears

by Chantele Sedgwick

  My new motto.

  Think about something else. Think about something else.

  Cole pops into my head. Which isn’t ideal, but better than the former. I do need to strategize, so I tell myself to make a plan. What would he do? He’s the master biker. And he’s offered to help, but I won’t swallow my pride and ask him for help. Yet.

  So, if I’m going to beat Whitney in our race and then in the Back Country race, the first thing I need to do is get rid of my distractions and focus. I’m going to need every bit of strength I have.

  Don’t think about Mom. Don’t worry about Dad. Lucas is gone, so he shouldn’t be a distraction still. Yet, he is. But not anymore. I’ll forget about him, too. Block him out.

  Distractions gone.

  I dial Kelsie’s number since I don’t really want to be alone. She’s probably in her pajamas still, but she’s always up for a bike ride. I debate on telling her about my family and decide against it. I need some time to deal.

  “Hello?” she answers with a yawn.

  “You awake?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Well, I’m coming to get you. We’re going biking.”

  “Now? Do you know what time it is?”

  “Yes. And I promise we’ll go slow, since your knee is hurt and all.”

  She sighs. “Do you really need me to go? I’m still in bed.”

  I hesitate and can’t believe I’m going to verbalize my next thought. “I’ll owe you a shopping trip. Any time you want to go. And I won’t even complain.”

  I hear her gasp. I never offer to go shopping with her. I loathe shopping. And she knows it. “I’ll be ready in five.” She hangs up and I smile.

  Two minutes later, I’m sitting in her driveway. She looks like she’s saying a few choice words as she makes her way to the car. I get out and help her put her bike on the rack and we both get back inside and head for the trail.

  “You’re up bright and early,” she says, sipping on a green smoothie. Her light hair is in a really messy bun and it looks like she’s wearing the tank she slept in.

  “I know.” My fingers curl around the steering wheel and I focus my thoughts on the road.

  “You okay? Usually you give me a heads up the night before if you want to go for a ride. Is it a code red or code blue?”

  I smile. Red for broken heart or boy problems, and blue for family problems. “Blue.”

  “Ah.” She nods and sips her smoothie. “Bad?”

  “Bad enough.”

  “Want to dish yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Fair enough.”

  The dirt parking lot is full of cars already, but I find a place to park. The only bad thing about the summer is how busy the trails are. Especially in the morning. The morning is the perfect time of day to ride. Not too cold, not too hot. But since everyone knows that, it can get crowded. I glance around at the cars again. We’ll have to do a quick ride today, which is fine. I told Dad as much.

  After we get our bikes ready, we head up the trail.

  This particular trail is narrow most of the way through. Some of the trees even hang so low that we have to duck as we ride under them. And when there’s someone coming the opposite way we’re riding, we have to be really careful when we pass each other. You don’t want someone falling off the side of the trail and rolling down the mountain.

  I’ve seen it happen before and it wasn’t pretty.

  There are always more walkers on Sundays. Not sure why. Couples, groups, a few walking alone. The ones walking alone I like to stay away from because they’re usually with dogs.

  I’m not a big fan of dogs, especially in the mountains. They like to chase things. And those things are usually bikes. I’m typically okay with them, except for the people who walk their dogs without leashes. I’ve gotten chased, growled at, snapped at, and almost bitten more times than I can count, and usually the owners just smile and laugh as they apologize.

  I don’t think it’s very funny, but whatever.

  We ride for a while, enjoying the quiet, not pushing ourselves too hard, until we reach my spot.

  I’ve been stopping at “my spot” since I started riding two years ago.

  It’s a giant, gray boulder that we have to jump to pull ourselves up onto. The view is amazing from here. You can see everywhere in the Ogden Valley below. A bunch of trees stretch out for about a mile, which then turns into houses peppered all across the valley, with roads in perfect squares as far as the eye can see. The roads let up around the Great Salt Lake if you look to the left of the valley, with Antelope Island looming in the distance. My favorite time of day to be at this spot is when the sun sets and it touches the water, but I don’t come up too often around sundown.

  I pull out my phone and take a picture. “Can you imagine what this would look like around Christmastime? I wish I could afford a snow bike. I’d ride up here all the time.”

  “Don’t doubt it.” Kelsie yawns and wipes some dirt off her shoe. Even after having only five minutes to get ready, she looks gorgeous as usual. Her hair may be a little windblown and messy, but her blue eyes are bright and her face doesn’t show a trace of sleepiness. Me on the other hand …

  “I bet we’d be able to see my house from here. Blinking like crazy with a zillion lights,” Kelsie says.

  I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them. “Your dad is so awesome putting that display together every year.”

  “It’s awesome, yes, but sometimes it’s annoying. Especially when the lights keep flashing through my window every night. Makes it hard to sleep.”

  “Whatever. When I slept over last year in December, you were out in like two seconds.”

  She shrugs. “I guess I got used to it.” She stomps her foot against the rock we’re sitting on and mud flies everywhere. “Stupid mud.”

  “I told you to watch out for that puddle, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah.” She frowns. “So, a code blue, huh?”

  I shrug, wanting to tell her the truth, but not wanting to at the same time. I’m not ready yet. So, I take the easy way out and think of something else to tell her. Still the truth, just from another day.

  “Yeah. It’s nothing. You know how my parents get after me about me going biking all the time. It was one of those arguments.” I force a smile as the lie rolls off my tongue.

  “Sorry.”

  “And I think I’m just nervous for my race against Whitney.”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll kick her butt.”

  “Ha!”

  “You can do it. You’re just as good as she is.”

  “Come on, Kelsie. You know I have no chance. She’s beat me every single time we’ve raced. And don’t tell anyone I said that. Ever. It’s not something I’m happy to admit.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I know.”

  “Even though I’d like to say I’m better, I know I’m not. I’ve heard she has sponsors looking at her. Real sponsors. I’d kill for something like that. I shouldn’t have challenged her. What was I thinking?”

  “She deserved to be challenged. And the only reason she has sponsors looking at her is because her parents are rich. Or maybe Cole has something to do with it. They seem to stick together, those two.”

  “I know. They’re both rich, but they’re both good. It’s annoying.” I frown and flick a little rock into the trees below us. “Have you seen Whitney climb? She’s awesome. I get so tired going uphill.”

  “Yeah, but you kill it on the downhill.” She laughs. “When there aren’t huge rocks, I mean.”

  “No kidding.”

  She grabs a strand of her light hair and twists it around her finger. “But seriously. You scare the crap out of me with how fast you go sometimes.”

  “I like the thrill of it.” I grin. “That sounded so stupid, but it’s true.” A few riders pass our spot, making me look up. “I wonder what time it is.” I glance at my watch and frown. “We need to head down. My dad told me I could go on a short ride today. My parents will
kill me if I’m not back on time.”

  I think of Mom and look out into the valley again as my mood darkens. I won’t let it bother me. I won’t. No feeling sorry for myself, and no crying.

  Keep it together.

  Kelsie plays with the bracelet around her wrist, looking thoughtful. “So … how’s Cole?”

  “What do you mean, how’s Cole?”

  She chuckles. “I love how riled up you get the second I mention his name.”

  “I do not.”

  “Do, too. Do you know what I think?”

  “No. And I don’t really want to know either.”

  “I think you two would be so cute together.”

  “Oh, come on, Kels—”

  “Just think about it. You’re a mountain biker, he’s a mountain biker. You could totally get married and have mountain biking children.”

  “You’re super hilarious.”

  “A family of mountain bikers. It’s like your perfect fantasy.”

  I try not to smile, but I can’t help it. Even if what she’s saying is totally ridiculous, she always knows how to cheer me up. “Whatever.”

  She puts her arm around me. “He’s into you, girl. And I’ll prove it.”

  “Don’t. Please. I don’t need you to play matchmaker.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I’m not planning on being the matchmaker. You two will do that on your own. There’s so much chemistry there. I just need to give you guys a little push.” She smiles and I feel my cheeks heat.

  “I don’t like Cole.”

  “Just keep telling yourself that. Have you ever noticed how he always seems to find you? And by the way he teases you, it’s totally obvious. Teasing means he likes you. And with how sarcastic you are with him …”

  “Kelsie, I don’t like him.” I grit my teeth. I can’t like him. He’s not Lucas. I stare out into the valley, my whole body tense. “I barely know him at all.”

  She unwraps her arm from around my shoulder. “You’re still not over him are you?” She gives me a small smile and puts a hand over mine. All I can do to keep from crying is shake my head. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry.” She’s quiet, gathering her thoughts while I try to push mine away. “It’s okay to move on, you know? He’d want you to do that.”

  “We should go.” I sniff, scoot away from her, and jump down from the rock.

  I hear her following me, but she’s quiet. I feel bad now. It’s not like I don’t want to move on. I do, I just … can’t. Kelsie glances at me as she slides her gloves back on. “Hey. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  A long sigh escapes my lips. “You can say whatever you want, Kels. I know you’re right. I just don’t want to admit it, you know? I’m having a hard time letting go.”

  She nods. “I know.” She gets back on her bike and adjusts her helmet. “So, to cheer you back up, I have a proposal for you.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Breakfast. Tomorrow. Then we go to the mall and get some shopping done.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, the thought of shopping already giving me a headache.

  “Hey. You promised.”

  “I know.”

  “Want to race back down?”

  “Right. Have you seen this trail? It’s super narrow. We’d totally take each other out and run over all the walkers on the way.”

  “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

  “Let’s do it anyway.” I push off and hear her laughing behind me.

  CHAPTER 6

  I don’t do Mondays.

  And since I hardly slept at all last night, I’m basically a well-dressed zombie sitting at breakfast with Kelsie. We started the tradition last year with our biking team—breakfast at our local diner every Monday during the summer. Now it’s just me and her. We should start a different tradition, but I like scones too much.

  Today, though, even scones can’t pull me away from my bad mood.

  I stare at the old records hung up on the walls and wonder what it would have been like to live back in the fifties. I wonder if life was as complicated as it is now. As I contemplate changing the song on the awesome jukebox in the corner, I’m certain of one thing: things were a lot simpler then.

  I wonder how I’d look in a poodle skirt …

  “Emmy.” I glance up as Kelsie nearly finishes off her scrambled eggs and looks at my plate. “You haven’t touched your food. What’s the matter?”

  “I’m tired. And I’m not feeling too great.” I still haven’t talked to Mom. I shut myself in my room all day yesterday and then left before she got up this morning. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel good. The guilt is starting to eat at me.

  She frowns. “You could have texted me this morning. I would have brought soup or something over instead. Even though soup would be gross for breakfast.” She shivers and takes one final bite of scrambled eggs.

  I take a tiny bite of my scone and chew it up before pushing it away. “Soup can’t cure what I have.”

  “Soup can cure anything. Especially mine.”

  “Yours comes from a can.”

  She shrugs. “What can I say? Campbell’s has healing properties.”

  I roll my eyes and stare out the window. “All I have is a headache. Not a big deal.” I swirl my eggs around on my plate as I eye my scone again. I may have to take it home.

  She sets her fork down. “Seriously, though. What’s up?”

  “Nothing.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Something’s up. You’re my best friend. I can read your moods better than I read my own.”

  “Is that even possible?”

  “Of course.” She downs her orange juice in two seconds and sets her cup on the table. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you? You look … worried or something.”

  I shake my head. “I’m fine, Kels. Really. We have some stuff going on at home, but it’s not a big deal.”

  “The same thing as yesterday?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

  “Okay. Anything I can do?”

  “Not right now.” I smile to reassure her. “But thanks.”

  “Hey, Kelsie, Marty.”

  I look up and see Cole striding toward us. He’s alone again. No Whitney or his other biking minions.

  “Hi,” Kelsie says.

  I don’t say anything, just fight the urge to get up and leave. After our encounter in his truck on Saturday, I really don’t want to talk to him. Even though it wasn’t really an “encounter” at all. He was being nice and giving me a ride home. I don’t like the way he made me feel, though. All flustered.

  Stupid boys.

  Cole stops and folds his arms. I have to admit, he looks good this morning. His green shirt brings out flecks of green in his hazel eyes. I look away to stop myself from checking him out further. “Still do breakfast every Monday?”

  “Yep,” Kelsie says, finishing off a piece of toast.

  “I thought so.” He looks at me. Something like regret flashes across his features. “Want to get some practice in after breakfast, Marty? I’ll meet you in Ogden if you’d like. Give you some pointers.”

  I frown as I look at him. “You keep asking me that. Why would I need pointers from you?”

  “You know why.” He grins.

  I lean back against the booth and fold my arms. “Maybe if you didn’t have that ridiculously large ego, I might actually say yes.”

  “Really?”

  My eyes narrow. “No.”

  He laughs. “Fine. Just thought I’d offer since you don’t have a car right now.”

  My face heats. I never told Kelsie about him taking me home and even though she’s trying to look like she’s super interested in what’s left of her breakfast, she’s listening. “I’ll … uh … get a ride with Kelsie if I go. Thanks, though.” I shift uncomfortably as he stares at me.

  “Sorry, Em. I have to work. Remember?” Kelsie winks and stands up and leaves me. “I need to wash this syrup off my hand. Be right back.”

 
Syrup? Really? She didn’t even have pancakes.

  Cole smiles after her, then slides in next to me, his arm resting on the booth behind me. He leans close, and the near contact makes my heart freak out. “So, is it really a no? I’d rather go with you than by myself. If you’re up to the challenge.”

  Is he asking me out? No. Never. Even though a part of me—a very small part—maybe kind of wishes he was.

  “I have stuff to do.” I glance at him, keeping my face as straight as possible. “Thanks for the offer though.”

  The corner of his mouth turns up. “You’re using ‘stuff’ as an excuse to not hang out with me? Ouch.”

  A smile tugs at my lips. “No. I really do have a bunch of stuff to do. At home. For my family.” I grimace. “You know … cleaning and stuff.”

  Cleaning and stuff? You couldn’t have thought of a better excuse?

  Someone calls Cole’s name and he turns as one of his friends greets him from across the room. He raises a hand at him and turns back to me. “Well that sucks. Okay. Maybe we can do it again sometime. When you don’t have to clean and stuff. See you around then, Marty.” He tugs on a strand of my hair, grins, and walks away, leaving me confused and flustered. Again.

  “So … what’s this about him knowing your car is dead?”

  I glare at Kelsie as she slides back in her seat. “Thanks for leaving me.”

  She chuckles. “Just letting you guys have a moment. So, spill. I know you have some details you’re not telling me.”

  I sigh. “My car died at the trailhead the other night and … Cole showed up. He took me home. No big deal.”

  Her eyes widen. “No big deal? This is huge! And a second ago he was totally asking you out.”

  “Was not.” I look over as he sits down next to one of his friends in another booth. He glances at me, catches me staring, and sits up straighter with a smile on his face. My cheeks burn as I turn and stare at my food.

  “Was too. Didn’t you see the way he was looking at you?” She pauses. “The way he’s still looking at you?” She chuckles as I glare at her. “There’s something there. He wouldn’t have asked you out otherwise.”