“I’m fine,” I say, a little too loud. “Thanks.” All I want to do is go inside. Even if my parents are going to ground me forever, I’d rather be in my house, away from everyone else. “I’ll see you guys later. Kelsie, thanks for bringing me home.”
She gives me a hug and gets back in her car as I walk to my door.
“You sure you don’t need anything?” Cole asks.
“No. Thanks for … bringing my bike back.”
He shifts his weight and frowns, his arms folded.
I walk away from him. If he had any feelings for me before, they’re probably gone now. He’s seen me at my worst. In pain, exhausted, and almost passing out from stupid shots and stitches. And clearly I’m not the talented biker he thought I was.
Before I go inside, I look back at Cole. He’s standing next to my garage, his arms folded and looking sad.
I open the door and leave him there alone.
CHAPTER 20
Of course my parents are waiting for me when I walk inside.
Dad’s standing by the doorway to the kitchen and Mom’s on the couch. As soon as I shut the door, Mom stands and wraps her arms around me. “You’re okay?” I nod and she squeezes me once more before letting me go and taking a step back. “You sure?”
“Yes.” I try to avoid her eyes, but it’s hard when she’s standing right in front of me.
Dad comes in the room, but stays back. “You’re grounded forever.”
“Dad,” I start to protest.
Mom turns around and shakes her head at him, then she turns back to me. I flinch under her gaze. She’s acting so normal. And looks calm. Too calm. Which means she’s very angry. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt worse.” She pauses. “How many stitches?”
“Eight.”
She nods and her gaze hardens. “So, eight weeks of grounding then?”
“Mom, no!”
She folds her arms. “Why did you lie to me?”
I shrug. “I didn’t think you’d let me go.”
“Why would you think that?”
“I know how you don’t like me driving long distances very often.”
She studies me, her eyes narrowed. “Still. You should have asked. I might have said yes this time. What if something worse would have happened to you? You’re seventeen, Emmy. You live under my roof, so that means you obey my rules.”
I sigh. I know. I know I was stupid. I made a mistake. I should say that, but I don’t. I just stare at the floor, very aware of the pounding in my head and Dad glaring daggers at me from across the room.
“You’re not going to say anything else?” she asks.
“No.”
She lets out a breath, frustrated. “Emmy. You’ve never lied to me before. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure? Because this is so not like you.”
I look away and grit my teeth to control my rising temper.
Dad takes a step toward us. “You know better, Emmy. Why would you deliberately break our trust?”
My head snaps up and my eyes narrow as I stare both of them down. “You want to talk about trust? What gives you the right to even bring that up?”
“Emmy,” Dad warns.
“No. You two didn’t tell me about Mom for six months. Six. Months. And you stand there and make me feel awful for not telling you about one stupid bike ride?”
“That’s different, Emmy,” Mom says. “It wasn’t a lie. We just didn’t tell you what was going on.”
I fold my arms. “So you didn’t tell me the truth, is what you’re saying. And that makes it okay?”
She frowns and glances back at Dad for support. He walks over and joins her, putting an arm around her. He reaches out to touch me and I back up a step. “Bug, I realize now it wasn’t okay not to tell you and Gavin. I’m sorry for that. We didn’t want you to worry. We thought it wasn’t a big deal at first.”
“Wasn’t a big deal? Mom’s going to forget us!”
Mom’s mouth drops open like I’ve slapped her. It takes her a moment to recover. “Honey …” She’s shaking. Maybe trying not to cry. I know I’m doing the same thing.
Dad grabs her hand and speaks for her. “Mom’s fine, Emmy. She’s still Mom.”
That’s when I snap. “Why does everyone keep saying that? She’s fine. She’s fine. Oh, don’t worry, she’s fine. Why can’t you tell me the truth? That she isn’t fine. That she’ll never be fine again. I looked up Alzheimer’s disease. Do you know all the symptoms? Everything that’s going to happen to her? I can’t handle you saying she’s fine anymore when you know perfectly well that she isn’t.”
Mom backs up a step, her mouth hanging open. It takes her a moment to find her voice, but she definitely finds it. “Emmy, we’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you. Why did you lie to us about your race? You could have told me the truth.”
“You wouldn’t have let me go.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you.”
She frowns. “I trust you, Emmy. But when you do stuff like this, it’s hard for me to do that. You’re grounded. No friends, no biking, nothing. For a week.”
“What? No biking? You can’t be serious!”
She nods, her eyes still on mine. “Yes, I am. No biking.” She stares at me, frowns, glances at Dad, and steps out of my way.
“Emmy,” Dad says, but I push past him and run downstairs. I slam the door, making my head ache worse, and slide down the door to sit on the floor. I pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in them.
This isn’t fair.
CHAPTER 21
It’s Monday. Two days since my stupid crash. I’ve been lounging around my room all day, but I don’t care. My whole body hurts worse today than Saturday. So much so that I’ve barely left my room all weekend.
Lazy is the word of the day.
What am I supposed do if I’m grounded, though?
Nothing.
I throw a pile of clothes I’ve been sorting in the corner and push a few things under my bed to make it look like I’ve been cleaning. Like it will help at all. My room’s a disaster.
Someone knocks and I assume it’s Mom. I pinch my lips together and take a few deep breaths. I still haven’t talked to her or Dad since our fight. I rock back on my knees and stare at the door, bracing myself for whatever Mom wants to talk to me about. “You can come in.”
Gavin comes inside. “Hey.”
I tilt my head, confused. “You knocked.”
He shrugs. “Shocking, I know. I figured you might still be asleep since you haven’t been feeling well lately.” He plops himself down on my bed and looks me over. “You look … ready for the day.”
I scowl at him and swipe my hair out of my face. “Yes. I know. I’m still in my pajamas. There’s a first time for everything, right?”
“Uh … yes. Weird. It’s …” He glances at my clock. “Almost six?”
“Yep.”
“At night …”
“I know!” I lean back and rest my head and shoulders against the wall, giving him my best scowl.
“Just making sure you knew. How’s your head?”
“Fine. I get my stitches out in a few days.”
“Good.” He picks up one of my biking gloves off the floor and turns it over in his hand. “So, I don’t have to go to work for a few hours. You up for a movie? I know you’re sore and don’t feel the greatest, but I can even make some popcorn. Or go get us some treats. If you want.”
I love the fact that he wants to spend time with me. But I can tell this isn’t an average room call. He’s worried about me. I can see it in his eyes. “Gav, are you ever going to ask a girl out instead of hanging with me every night?”
He throws my glove at me. “Girls are trouble.”
“Well, duh. Of course we are. But still. You’ve gotta put yourself out there. You’re cute and funny and—”
“Whoa!” He holds up his hand. “Sisters don’t say that abo
ut brothers.”
I chuckle. “I’m just telling you the truth. How long has it been since you’ve been on a date?”
He shrugs. “I don’t really care right now. I’ll just be spending money on someone else’s wife.”
Seriously? Can he be any more ridiculous? “Could be your future wife.”
He snorts. “Right. Enough of the dating advice. You want to watch a movie or not?”
“Sure.”
“Great.” He stands and heads toward the door.
“Gav?”
He stops and turns around. “Yes?”
I bite my lip and pick at my fingernail, avoiding his eyes. “Are Mom and Dad still mad at me?”
He sighs. “Why don’t you ask them?”
“I don’t know.”
“They’re worried about you, Em. I am too.”
I ignore that fact and put on a fake smile. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are. I know when my sister’s having a hard time.”
“Of course I am. I’m grounded.”
His eyes narrow. “You know what I mean.”
I let out a slow breath. “I know.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’m just stressed out about everything.”
“Like?”
“Mom. Biking. Boys.”
“Boys?”
“Lucas. I can’t get past it. Still.”
He walks over and sits down next to me. “Have you talked to anyone about it?”
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Maybe you should. You can talk to me.”
I smile. “You don’t want to hear about my boy problems.”
“It’s not just a boy problem. He was your best friend.”
“I know.” Not just my best friend. I could tell him anything—other than the fact that I was in love with him. I was always scared to tell him that. But everything else, he was always there to listen. Always there to tell me everything was going to work out.
“And Mom’s still okay. Well enough to ground you anyway.”
“Right.”
“Have you talked to her about anything?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should. She has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, maybe you should go with her.”
I shake my head. “No.” I’m not ready to do that. I’m not ready to hear it all from a doctor and have to accept the fact that she’s sick. She should be taking me shopping or to dinner for a girls’ night or going with me to see a movie and share a giant tub of popcorn. We haven’t done anything like that for months. I miss it. So much. But I know I’m the one keeping us from it.
“Might be good for …” He trails off and shakes his head when he sees my face. “Never mind. I’ll see you upstairs. If you can walk that far.”
“Of course I can walk that far.”
“Really? You haven’t left your room in days. Have you even showered?”
Have I? I can’t remember so I shrug. “Give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll meet you up there.”
“Sounds good.” He leaves and then pokes his head back inside. “What do you want to watch?”
“Hmmm. I don’t know. Maybe a chick flick?” I grin.
He rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”
“Knew you’d love that.” I try to think of a movie I’ve been dying to see, but can’t. “I don’t care what we watch, as long as there’s nothing super gory or scary.”
He frowns. “You’re no fun.” The doorbell rings and he runs up the stairs. “Be right back.”
I stare at the clothes on the floor and think about what Gavin said. Maybe I should apologize to Mom and Dad. I hate the tension. I hate feeling like this, but I don’t know how to get over it. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling. As for talking to someone about Lucas … I’ve talked Kelsie’s ear off. Who else would I be able to talk to about him? And why does he think it will help?
I look up as Gavin comes back in my room a few minutes later, a bunch of daisies in his hand.
“What’s that?”
He gives me a wicked grin and hands them to me. “For you.”
I take them from him and pluck the card out of the bouquet.
Emmy,
Get Well Soon.
Cole
My eyes narrow as I read the note again. “Really? Get well soon? That’s all he could think of?”
“I’m not really one to write notes.”
My breath catches as I recognize the voice. I turn toward the door to see Cole stepping inside, with Gavin nowhere to be seen. My face flames. “What … what are you doing down here? Where’s Gavin?”
“He’s on his way upstairs. I told him I’d buy him dinner if he let me in to talk to you, since he said you didn’t want to see anyone. Me especially.”
I frown. That wasn’t totally true. I never said I didn’t want to see him. But talking to him is a totally different story. “He’s never been good with bribes. Especially when it involves food. I’m surprised you knew that.” I run my hand over my face, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes and curse myself for not having changed out of my pajamas.
“I didn’t know that actually. I guess he can’t pass up a good meal. And I figured he took after you.” He studies my face and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll leave if you want me to.”
I hesitate and can’t help but stare at him. He’s in jeans and a yellow polo. His hair is spiked and gelled like it usually is, but there’s something different about him. His expression is solemn, sad even.
Why is he here?
Cole eyes the floor where I’m sitting and my heart speeds up. “Can I sit down?” I try to decide if I should stay where I am on the floor or move to the window seat. Or the bed. No. The bed would be weird. And the window seat would be weird, too. I stay where I am.
“Emmy?”
Still staring. A million thoughts running through my head. Pull yourself together, Emmy. Say something.
He takes my silence as a yes, I think, because he takes a step closer and glances at the flowers in my hand. I set them on the floor next to me. He picks his way through my messy room (right now I’m really wishing I would have listened to Mom and cleaned it earlier) and stops right in front of me.
He only hesitates a second before sitting cross-legged on the floor next to me. He smiles as he looks around the room for a second, his eyes glued to the wall across from us. “Nice posters.”
“Uh … thanks.” I stare at him, not knowing what else to say. “Um … thanks for the flowers.”
“You’re welcome.”
It takes me a minute, but I finally find myself. At least for now. “I’m sure you send flowers to every girl, so I won’t think anything of it.”
He laughs. “It’s good to hear you’re still the same.” He shakes his head. “And you should know I don’t send flowers to girls. Ever. Feel special, okay?”
My cheeks redden. “Okay.” I bite my lip and twist my ring. “So … why are you here? Do you need something?”
“I don’t have to need something to want to see you, Emmy.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I settle with, “Oh.” My fingers stop twisting my ring, and I glance over at him. His eyes are darker today. Flecks of brownish gold spiral around his pupil, making the green pop more than usual. I wish my eyes changed color like his do in the light. Cole’s mouth twitches and breaks into a small smile. I look away, embarrassed that he caught me staring at him. Again.
He clears his throat. “I wanted to come by to tell you how sorry I am about the crash the other day. I shouldn’t have talked you into racing Whitney again. Especially in Park City. That trail is rough. And I shouldn’t have pressured you about captain. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to ever talk to me again, since your bike is ruined. I know how hard you worked on it. I’m just … sorry. For everything.”
He’s apologizing. To me. My life is so backwards. I haven’t been nice to him this entire time and he’s the one trying to make amen
ds. My life is so screwed up. “Cole. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was.” He looks down at his hands, twisted in his lap. “If it wasn’t my fault, why didn’t you want to talk to me again?”
I smile in spite of myself. “If it’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pushing people away. The fact that I lost to Whitney … again, kind of put a damper on things.” I fold my arms. “I was mad. At myself mostly. I have a hard time admitting defeat.”
“You didn’t lose. Whitney didn’t really finish the race.”
“What?” I frown.
“She thought she heard you fall, so she stopped a little ways down the trail. When she didn’t see you coming, she called me.”
“She called you? Why?”
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “She’s not as evil as you think she is. And she thought you were hurt.”
“If it was a normal race, she wouldn’t have stopped.”
“How do you know?”
I stare at him, trying to figure him out. “I don’t.”
“Like I said, she’s not that bad.” He adjusts the watch around his wrist before looking at me again. “Also. Is there a reason you’re still so short with me? Besides captain, have I ever done anything else to piss you off? Because that’s how you talk to me. All the time. Like you’re pissed at me. It’s kind of … well … getting old.”
“I really do?” I whisper.
He snorts. “Um … yes. To be honest, I’m not sure why I’m still trying. I almost didn’t come over here. I’m ready to give up on you.”
The look on his face confirms his words. He’s serious. I really am a brat. And right now, I feel awful. “I’m … sorry, Cole. I hate feeling like this. So … wound up and trapped in my screwed-up emotions. I’m just having a hard time right now. And I’m not sure why I chose to take things out on you. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I …”
“I get it. A little. It’s the other guy. Lucas. You’re still in love with him.” I shake my head, but he just smiles. “I can see it. It’s okay. You’re grieving still. And then I come along and—”
“Make things complicated.” I twist my hands in my lap and try my hardest not to look at him. I fail.
Switching Gears Page 13
