“Yeah.” He smiles. “Sorry about that. I guess. Well, I have a proposal. Again. Nothing to do with Lucas or anything. I promise.”
“Okay?”
“I want to start over. Push aside the whole captain thing. I want you to get to know me for real. I’m the bad guy in your eyes, but it’s because you don’t know anything about me. You’ve only heard the rumors.”
“Cole—”
He holds up a hand. “We’ll start small, I swear. Since you really want to win the Back Country race in a few weeks, I was wondering … if you’re feeling up to it in a few days, do you want to train with me? And I swear I’m not saying I’m better than you or anything. I’ve just watched you race and I … I think I could help you out a little. Whitney’s good, Em. Really good. Which gives her an advantage over you in the Back Country. But with the right motivation and a few tricks, you could take her.”
I stare at him. Do I dare let Cole teach me? Like a real coach? I really could use some pointers. “Maybe?” I squeak. Our school coach, Coach Clarke, is really nice, but the only reason he’s our coach is because we begged him to help us get a team together since we had to have an adult to supervise. He’s not a professional biker, just a track coach who wanted to help us out. So this—a real coach—this would be new.
“Maybe?” He cocks an eyebrow. “If I threw in a few shakes, would you say yes?”
“What makes you think a food bribe would work on me?”
He laughs. “It worked for your brother, so I thought I’d give it a try.”
I try to stop the grin from creeping to my face. “Maybe one shake would be okay. I guess.”
“Why don’t I go grab one and we can watch a movie or something. If that’s okay. I don’t want to invite myself over. It’s just … I’d like to hang out with you today. If you’re okay with it, of course. Because it’s something small to start with. Maybe we can have a conversation without you insulting me.”
My lips twitch. “Sure. I’d like that.”
“Great. I have to run to the store for my dad real quick, so I’ll pick up a few shakes on the way back.”
“That sounds great.” Shower. Change of clothes. Makeup. Stat.
He stands. “I’ll see you in an hour or so then.”
I stay where I am. I don’t want him to see the full ensemble I’m wearing. I look less than awesome in my holey pajama pants. “Okay.”
It’s only after he leaves, I realize how messy my room really is. Oh well. At least my underwear isn’t on the floor. Or is it? I glance around to make sure. No. None. Phew.
After the front door slams upstairs, Gavin pokes his head back in my room. “I’m guessing the movie is a no-go.”
“Oh, Gav, I’m sorry!”
He laughs. “No worries. I’ll crash your movie date instead. You need a chaperone anyway.”
“It’s not a date.”
“Whatever.”
That’s when I remember I’m still grounded. Maybe Gavin would cover for me …
CHAPTER 22
Cole comes over an hour later. I take a quick look in the mirror in the bathroom, feeling refreshed from my shower. I’m ready. Not sweaty from a bike ride or looking like I just rolled out of bed. I look … nice. Hair done, makeup on. Actually dressed in jeans and a nice shirt. Something about seeing Cole makes me want to look at least a little presentable.
Which makes me wonder how that happened. One day, he was the cocky self-absorbed mountain biking playboy, and now? I can’t get him out of my head.
I jog upstairs and head for the kitchen. Dad passes by and glances inside. “You going somewhere tonight? Because I’m pretty sure you’re still grounded.”
“Not going anywhere. Someone’s coming here, if that’s okay.”
His eyes narrow and he stands there as though he’s deep in thought. “Okay. As long as you stay here, it’s fine. But you can’t leave.”
“Thanks.” We stare at each other a moment, each not knowing what to say. We haven’t talked since I blew up the other night, and every time I’ve seen him or Mom, I’ve taken every measurable step to avoid it. But right now, I’m kind of missing them. Both of them. Especially Mom. “I’m sorry again, Dad. For not telling you or Mom where I was going.”
His expression softens. “I know.”
“I won’t do it again.”
“Let’s hope not.”
I fiddle a strand of hair, twisting it around my finger. “Where’s Mom tonight?”
He glances down the hallway toward their room. “She’s … not having the best night. She put her two weeks in at work today.”
“What? Why? She loves her job.”
He shakes his head. “She can’t do it anymore. She’s made too many mistakes the past few months and knows if she stays, someone could get hurt. If she wouldn’t have put her two weeks in, they would have let her go anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“It’s okay. We knew it was coming. We weren’t expecting it to be this soon, though. The doctor said she’d be okay for a while, but now …” He trails off and lets out a slow breath. I want to hug him and tell him everything will be okay, even though it won’t. “Have fun tonight, okay?” He pats me on the back and leaves me alone.
I step through the doorway into the hall and watch him walk to his bedroom. He closes the door once he’s inside. Mom’s in there, I’m sure. I should go talk to her. Tell her it’s okay she’s quitting her job. But I know it won’t do any good. I’m sure she’s devastated.
I open the fridge to find something to eat and try to think of something happy, but can’t focus on anything other than my life unraveling. What if Dad doesn’t make enough for Mom to quit? How will we afford to live?
When the doorbell rings, Gavin answers it and I hear Cole talking. Once they’ve laughed a few times, I decide to join them.
“Have fun, you two,” Gavin says. “And remember. I’ll be watching.” He winks at me as he goes in the other room.
I’m going to short sheet his bed tonight.
“Brought you something,” Cole says. He pulls a stack of DVDs out of a bag. “I’m not sure what you like to watch, so I brought a bunch of different genres.” He sets them on my lap and digs into his bag again.
“The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings?”
“I wasn’t sure if that was one you liked, but … I’m kind of obsessed. I know some girls aren’t into it, so it’s fine if you choose something else.”
I stare at the cover and smile. “Something you should know about me: Legolas is my boyfriend.”
“Oh. Good to know I’ll be competing with an elf with girl hair.”
I laugh. “His hair is pretty dreamy.” I flip through the other movies and settle on a romantic comedy I haven’t seen. When I hand it to him, he takes it without complaint. “But for real. I love Lord of the Rings. The only reason I’m not choosing it is because I have to watch the extended versions and that would take way too long.” I glance at him and smile as he produces a carton of ice cream from a plastic bag. “You brought ice cream?”
He shrugs. “I thought about a shake and then had a better idea.” He pulls out bananas, chocolate and caramel syrup, whipped cream, and sprinkles.
“Holy crap. It’s an ice cream bar! You’re my favorite!”
“I knew I’d change your mind about me.”
My cheeks heat. “A little. Don’t get too carried away. Maybe I’ll change my mind more if you tell me another truth.”
“Maybe. If I decide to tell one.”
“Oh, I’ll get at least one out of you.”
“Ha!”
I’m surprised by how comfortable I’m getting with him. It’s different than before—than even two hours earlier. Now that I know how awful I was to him. No arguing, no trying to be better than him. I’m just … me.
“You ready to start the movie or do you want the ice cream first?”
“Ice cream. For sure.”
I grab the toppings and he gets the ice cream as w
e head into the kitchen. He watches as I get two bowls and spoons out of the dishwasher and set them on the table.
“I make a mean banana split,” he says.
“You can do the honor then.”
“Do you have a knife?”
I grab one out of the drawer and hand it to him, curious.
“The bananas are better when they’re cut up into slices.”
“Oh. Good to know.” I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve had a banana split. Years, probably.
I sit down and watch him work. The way he cuts all the bananas in perfect slices, the tip of his tongue peeking through his very kissable lips.
My heart speeds up at that thought. What would it be like to kiss him? I shake my head and stare at the container of sprinkles in front of me to distract myself.
“And voila,” he says. He scoots the bowl in front of me and waits for my reaction.
I look at his masterpiece. “This looks delicious.”
“Told you.”
I take a bite and after I wipe the whipped cream off my face, I stand. “Let’s start the movie then.”
I put the movie in and take my place on the couch. Cole sits down next to me. We aren’t touching, but we’re close.
The movie isn’t too bad. In fact, I find myself laughing through most of the beginning. We finish our banana splits and he takes them back into the kitchen. When he comes back, I notice he sits closer to me this time. We’re separated by an inch or so.
A big part of me wants him to close the gap, and the voice in my head, the one still holding on to Lucas, shouts at me to move away.
I ignore the voice.
Toward the end of the movie, I feel my eyes drooping. Cole scoots closer and, after hesitating only a second, puts his arm around me. “You’re tired,” he says.
“Yes.” I didn’t realize how tired I am until now and decide to be brave. Or maybe stupid. Or maybe I’m so exhausted that the rational part of my brain turns off as I lean my head on his shoulder.
The movie plays, and I tune it out, my eyes closed, but ears still listening. When it ends, I open my eyes, which I’m sure are bloodshot from my contacts being in for too long, but I don’t want him to leave yet. I like being with him. I like the feeling of his arm around me. And that freaking terrifies me.
He nudges my shoulder. “You still out?”
“I never fell asleep,” I say, almost slurring.
“You were snoring.”
I sit up, praying I wasn’t drooling, too. “Was not.”
He chuckles. “No, you weren’t.” I study his eyes to make sure he’s not lying. I don’t think he is. “I promise you didn’t snore.”
Sigh of relief. “Good.” I’ve been known to snore. That’s why I was worried. It totally could have happened.
Cole squeezes my shoulder as I move around to try and get comfortable. “This was fun. Next time I choose the movie, though.”
“Blood and guts it is,” I tease.
“Eh. I’m not a huge fan of all that.”
“Neither am I. Besides Lord of the Rings, of course.”
He smiles. “Of course.” He hesitates before reaching out a hand to take mine. “Is this okay?”
After a moment’s hesitation, I nod.
He squeezes my hand in response. “So, a truth.”
“What?”
“I’m going to tell you a truth. I believe the last time I told you one was when I took you on that date.”
“Yes. I believe you’re right.” It was the first time I saw him as more than just a playboy. Maybe the first time I kind of felt something for him.
“Okay. Here goes.” He lets out a long, exaggerated breath. “I’m terrified of spiders.”
My mouth drops open. “You’re kidding.”
He grins. “Not at all.” His teeth are really white in the dim light. And straight. I wonder if he had to have braces when he was younger. He’d look cute in braces.
“Are you serious?”
“When I see one in the house, my mom has to come kill it for me. Unless it’s on the floor. I’ll step on it then.”
“So, ceiling spiders are a no-go.”
He shivers. “The worst. They could fall on me and I’d never know where it landed.”
I throw my head back and laugh, then glance at the hallway to make sure my parents didn’t wake up. “That’s hilarious,” I whisper. “I never thought you’d be afraid of something as dumb as a spider.”
“Do you like them?”
“I wouldn’t let one crawl on me or anything, but I don’t go all crazy and kill one if I see it. Unless it’s a huge one with babies on its back. Ew. I get Gavin to take care of those.”
He shivers again. “So there’s my truth. Let’s hear one from you.”
“Hmmm …” I wrack my brain with ideas, but I’m not sure which one to tell him. “I love food.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I don’t eat a ton, but I do love the taste of food. I like to savor each bite. Especially if it’s something I really like. Like pie. Or ice cream.”
“So you have a sweet tooth then. Noted.”
I lean forward a little more, our faces a few inches from each other. We’re so close, I could move a tad more and touch his lips. I’ve already noticed that he has nice lips. And I’m positive he’s a good kisser. He’s got to be. “So, if I ask you a question, will you answer truthfully?”
“Depends on the question.”
“Understandable.”
“Do you have a question to ask?”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
“Shoot.”
“Why, after a year of me being awful to you, did you not give up trying to be my friend?”
His eyes sparkle in the lamp light as he stares at me. “I only said one truth tonight.”
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“No, I’ll answer.” He smiles and rubs his thumb in little circles on the back of my hand, making me shiver. “I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I walked into one of your biking meetings.”
“It was a serious question. Quit flirting with me.”
“I’m not.”
“That’s not true. Is it?” My cheeks flame and I try to pull away from him, but he doesn’t let go.
“I’m serious. Your hair was pulled in a ponytail, your eyes were bright and focused when you talked about what the team needed to work on. I could see the passion in every movement you made, explaining what races we were going to tackle and what not. And your voice. Don’t get me started on that.” He gives me a wicked grin. “Sexy.”
I burst out laughing and then cover my mouth. I swear my parents are going to come in the room any second. And then Dad would kick Cole out because it’s almost midnight. Or maybe they’d let him stay. I don’t bring friends home very often. Besides Kelsie. “My voice is not sexy.”
“Is too. It’s kind of lower. It’s nice.”
“Stop talking,” I say, blushing furiously.
“You wanted me to answer your question, so I did.”
“No you didn’t. You didn’t really answer it. You said you had a crush on me. Why did you keep trying to be my friend after I quit the team?”
I expect him to make another joke, but he doesn’t. Instead, his eyes find mine and his expression softens. “Because at the beginning of the school year, underneath the passion and love for mountain biking I saw a girl who needed someone to care about her.”
“What?”
“You appear confident, like you don’t have any cares or worries, but deep down you’re not. Ever since your Lucas died, you push people away.”
I stare at him, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. It’s a truth I don’t want to admit.
He squeezes my hand, and I pull it away. “Why do you push people away, Emmy? Why don’t you get close to anyone?”
“I’m close to plenty of people.”
“Name two.” He looks at me, his expression serious. �
��Besides your brother and Kelsie.”
I look away.
“Tell me about him.”
“Who?”
“Lucas.”
“I can’t.”
“I met him once.”
“When?”
“At that carnival fundraiser for him last year. He seemed cool.”
“He was.”
“So, tell me something about him. A nice memory. Talk about him. I want to know what he was like.”
My eyes fill with tears, and I try to blink them back. Why does he want to know about him so bad?
“Emmy.”
I take a shaky breath. I don’t know if I want to tell him, but it comes pouring out anyway. “We grew up together. Me, Lucas, and his sister, Oakley.”
He nods, but waits for me to continue.
“We were inseparable. Lucas was two years older than me, and Oakley was a year. But it didn’t matter. We hung out all the time.”
“I’ve heard the name Oakley. People have talked about her at school. They said she just left town before graduation and never came back.”
I don’t want to know what everyone’s said about her. The good or the bad, so I keep talking. “She graduated early.” I pause a moment, gathering my thoughts. “I used to watch Lucas play basketball in his front yard when we were growing up. He was good. On the school team and everything. He was basically one of those people who was good at whatever he tried. I played with him in his driveway sometimes, and embarrassed myself, and he’d come biking with me other times. That’s when I discovered mountain biking was the one thing he wasn’t good at.” I smile at the memory of him freaking out when I went down a hill faster than him. “We hung out a lot after school, played video games, went to get shakes, but most days we just sat around talking for hours. He was there for me when I had bad days, and I was there for him when he did. The times where he broke up with girlfriends and the times I didn’t get along with my parents. Like I said. We were really close.
“When his cancer came back, he told me everything was going to be okay, even though we both knew he wasn’t going to make it.” I sniff, holding back tears. “He should have been fine. He shouldn’t have had to go through so much pain. It’s not fair.”
I stare at our hands entwined and then close my eyes. Cole’s not Lucas. He’s not Lucas. He’s not like him at all actually. But why do I feel like I can tell him things? Why do I think I can trust him?
Switching Gears Page 14
